Читать книгу Real and Phantom Pains: An Anthology of New Russian Drama - John Freedman - Страница 17
PART ONE FEAR
ОглавлениеA large office at the BCH television studio flooded with light.
The BCH initials are on everything. Five people sit at five computers. MANIAC, who is a tall, handsome blond, ORANGINA, SNOWFLAKE, LENOCHKA and BLIZZARD, a psychedelic-trance star and a charming, short-statured young man of about 26 with the face of a child and child-like eyes to match. All of them are at work.
There is a sixth – a young man also of about 26 with the pale face of a cherub, as if he were created to give women insomnia. He sits on a sofa, wears large silver headphones and leafs through a magazine. A small yellow case stands at his feet. He occasionally puts down the magazine and moves about the room, dancing and looking around. This is his first visit here – he is a stranger. All are dressed in black or dark blue tight-fitting clothes. Only ORANGINA wears orange. LENOCHKA wears a T-shirt emblazoned with the text, “Fuck Face Control,” and she has a big, black eye. She constantly looks at it in her mirror, touches up her make-up, powders the shiner and brushes it with toner. SNOWFLAKE wears a black blouse printed with “Sin” in red letters. The red straps of her bra occasionally slip seductively off her shoulders. SNOWFLAKE takes tranquilizers three times a day and so is always very calm.
Music plays. People come and go, bringing things in, taking things out. The five sign papers. MANIAC stamps official documents, draws something, leafs through glossy magazines. It is as though all of them have stepped out of one of these magazines – they are young, hip and attractive. Someone fiddles with computer or stereo wires; someone else is looking through compact discs. MANIAC counts money. Someone wipes off a camera lens. Someone watches television; someone looks at a computer monitor. On some computer monitors we see the faces of SNOWFLAKE and BLIZZARD – their faces are also on magazine covers and advertising posters. On one of the computer screens we see the words of the TV station’s slogan running continually: “No Fear in Love.” Someone smokes in the corridor and peeks in the door. The teapot whistles; someone is making tea, someone else – coffee. Someone is sitting beneath a palm tree, others beneath an aquarium. A big gold fish swims in the aquarium. Some people are tired, others are sad and stare thoughtfully out the window. Outside the window there is snow, life, sun, blue clouds, cafes, cars, bustling people in scarves and winter hats.
MANIAC: The sensation reminds you of fear. You feel it between your solar plexus and your neck. Somewhere in the chest. You know it because you feel the desire to touch. You physically want to touch someone. To see, to hear, to smile and to be embarrassed.
BLIZZARD: It’s a chemical reaction.
MANIAC: Nobody can define why it happens at this very moment with this specific person. Every telephone ring sets you on fire, every time you go out you hope you will see them.
SNOWFLAKE: Nobody knows the secret.
LENOCHKA: The meeting of two parallel lines.
BLIZZARD: Nobody knows why it disappears.
ORANGINA: You try to get it back, but it’s not the same.
(They work silently. It’s obvious they’ve been working together forever; they’re a tight-knit, well-oiled crew, as if they are relatives or a band of small monkeys. They are constantly in motion, never sitting still, always doing something and they have no idea they are being observed. MANIAC likes SNOWFLAKE but SNOWFLAKE has all kinds of affairs going. She considers MANIAC a friend. BLIZZARD is smitten with ORANGINA, he directs his every word at her. She pretends not to notice; she likes SNOWSTORM. In fact, all the girls like SNOWSTORM, although maybe that’s only true because he’s the newest one here – they all want to be the first one to win him. LENOCHKA has a husband; he’s the one who gave her the black eye. She likes SNOWSTORM, too, but she is mortified because the shiner has made her less beautiful than she really is. All of them are extremely attractive; you want to look at them, to be next to them, to be their friends, to fall in love with them. Something about them gives off warmth, contentment, tranquility and a physical sense of pleasure.)
BLIZZARD: I had a girlfriend, a ballerina, and we used to buy things in pairs – unisex. That way both of you can always wear the same things.
LENOCHKA: It’s that easy?
BLIZZARD: Not really. When she dumped me she took everything. Even the sheets. When I tried to stop her she hit me on the head with a chair.
SNOWFLAKE: She was absolutely firm in her decision.
BLIZZARD: The whole hall was bloody.
MANIAC: Did she find somebody else?
BLIZZARD: You know how girls do it.
ORANGINA: How?
BLIZZARD: To get rid of one guy they find a third they go live with and then they dump him. They just keep crab-legging it from guy to guy until they find what they want.
MANIAC: I asked a friend today if you can just walk up to a woman you like and put your head on her shoulder. He said you can.
BLIZZARD: Basically, that’s what everybody does.
(MANIAC goes to SNOWFLAKE and puts his head on her shoulder. SNOWFLAKE smiles and washes a tablet of some kind down with a drink of water.)
SNOWFLAKE: I finally decided today. I’m not going to love anybody anymore.
ORANGINA: Why’s that?
SNOWFLAKE: I can’t love anybody if they don’t love me.
MANIAC: I can’t either.
SNOWFLAKE: I’m only going to love when somebody loves me.
LENOCHKA: I feel this hatred welling up in me. Instantly. I don’t know what it is.
SNOWFLAKE: I know exactly what you mean. And I’m perfectly aware of it as it happens.
MANIAC: It’s the ego.
SNOWFLAKE: But that’s what my love is like.
LENOCHKA: If I see somebody’s getting frustrated with me, that’s it. It’s all over. The love boat has landed. On the rocks.
SNOWFLAKE: I know it sounds awful, like somebody handing down an irreversible verdict. It’s not very Russian and it’s not very feminine – but these mood swings have just become a part of my life.
(They work silently. Someone sighs, someone eats something, someone drinks something, someone goes out, another comes in, someone forgot something and came back in before going back out.)
SNOWFLAKE: I was walking down the street today and on the corner when I turned in from the left side, right there on that spot, I promised myself – this is it. I’m crossing out love and I’m never going to love alone again.
LENOCHKA: Yeah, let’s put an end to solitaire love.
ORANGINA: What’s he say about it?
SNOWFLAKE: He says, “Your skin drives me wild! Show me another man who can love you more than I do!”
LENA: How’s that for an equation?
MANIAC: Yeah, but he doesn’t know you’re toying with him –
SNOWFLAKE: Is that what I’m doing?
MANIAC: Well, yeah –
ORANGINA: I need him, I need him not; I love him, I love him not
BLIZZARD: Good in the evening, bad in the morning
ORANGINA: Or the other way around
SNOWFLAKE: You know what he says to me? A thousand years ago people like me were burned at the stake
SNOWSTORM: Snowflake, that’s a compliment
SNOWFLAKE: It is?
BLIZZARD: A hundred years ago you would have been stoned
ORANGINA: Poor women
SNOWFLAKE: I don’t care what you say; I think women are an incredibly deprived lot
BLIZZARD: I mean, women have fear instilled in them from childhood
SNOWFLAKE: I mean, it’s men that are afraid of women
ORANGINA: I mean, everybody’s afraid of everybody
MANIAC: I mean, everybody’s just afraid of fear
LENOCHKA: I’m afraid of darkness, maniacs, the cold, germs, snakes, spiders, heights, fast cars, policemen, guards, face-control, rude people, dogs, men and random sex
(ORANGINA looks out the window, beyond which another window is visible, as well as the window of a café, a really pleasant place where it smells of coffee and a waitress’s hands are cleaning off a table and emptying ashtrays. A handsome young man named VOLODYA is drinking espresso and talking about something as he cracks and eats pistachios. The waitress, BUSHY-TAIL, looks like Twiggy. She has huge eyes, a smart little blue dress, long legs, a white apron and a chic, tidy hair-do. She is always smiling, humbly and modestly.)
VOLODYA: I think about women a lot. I think about them constantly. In fact, I don’t think about women in the plural, but about one woman, one single woman. Of all the women I’ve ever met, I know not one who could ever become my other half.
BUSHY-TAIL: Why not?
VOLODYA: Ah, for one reason or another. When people come together – it’s a whole science.
BUSHY-TAIL: What about when they break up?
VOLODYA: No one person is ever to blame for breaking up. It’s nobody’s fault. It’s just two puzzle pieces that don’t fit.
(VOLODYA sips his coffee. BUSHY-TAIL leaves. VOLODYA is silent. Looks at her. Waits for her to come back. Looks out the window. Sees ORANGINA looking out her window but he doesn’t know her name. BUSHY-TAIL returns, replaces his ashtray. )
I’ve always been attracted to unhinged women, I guess you could say. I mean, the kind of girls who know how to stick up for themselves, the kind that can really stick it to you. But I’ve always wanted someone defenseless and fragile so that she’d be the kind I’d be able to protect and take care of.
BUSHY-TAIL: Can you do that?
VOLODYA: You know, I never leave anyone in the lurch. Anybody’s secrets are safe with me. If you ever end up on an uninhabited island with me – you won’t go hungry.
(The office. People are coming and going. The group of six is constantly surrounded by a crowd of faceless people. Five of them are working. SNOWSTORM is always up and dancing. Somebody sighs. LENOCHKA puts make-up on her eyes. Somebody’s looking at the clock; somebody’s washing their hands. SNOWFLAKE sprays on some perfume. Somebody’s cleaning their desk, somebody’s putting something on, somebody’s taking something off, somebody’s getting ready to go somewhere.)
LENOCHKA: I think women are made purely for decoration
ORANGINA (Taking SNOWSTORM’s photo): Those are just childish illusions
LENOCHKA: Why did people invent Faberge eggs or Feng Shui?
SNOWFLAKE: I would really like to settle down. Become soft, calm and caring. But I’m so sensitive. I like it when people care for me
MANIAC: People ask God for love even though they haven’t the vaguest notion what it is. What a nightmare.
LENOCHKA: I’m afraid of falling in love
BLIZZARD: Why?
LENOCHKA: I can’t. I’m married
ORANGINA: I fall in love once a year
SNOWFLAKE: I never do
BLIZZARD: Being in love should be more controllable the older you get. But –
ORANGINA: Whenever I fall in love I am all nerves
MANIAC: Love is a damned psychosis. Last fall I liked this one girl so much my knees went weak. I prayed to God, “Lord, bring her back to me. Bring her back.” And what do you think happened? What came of all that? Six months of nagging ailments.
LENOCHKA (Reading from a book): An obsessive thought of a yellow-black aura evoked by the constant reconsideration of a certain individual of the opposite sex
SNOWFLAKE: All you have to do is redirect the energies of love
LENOCHKA: The older you get, the less there are
BLIZZARD: Love is destiny putting you to the test
MANIAC: It’s destiny having a systems failure
(The café. People are coming and going. Music plays against the sound of tinkling forks, plates, knives, glasses, cups and saucers. It smells of cinnamon, honey and hot apple cider.)
BUSHY-TAIL: Are you married?
VOLODYA: No.
BUSHY-TAIL: Why not?
VOLODYA: I had a girlfriend. She was a ballerina. I had really strong feelings for her. They still surface at times. Like a time bomb or something. We used to meet in corridors and dark corners, there was never anything official about it like I would have liked. She always denied it all and she begged me never to tell anyone about us. “If you tell anybody, I’ll kill you,” she used to say. That’s the kind of girl she was
(Through the big window the six are seen leaving their office and going out onto the street. One breathes in the fresh air, another lights a cigarette and stands looking around with satisfaction. SNOWSTORM forgot something and goes back inside. Everyone waits. The girls are beautiful and flirtatious and they look towards the window of the café. Snowstorm returns with a yellow suitcase. Everyone waves their arms in different directions; they can’t come to a consensus about where to go. Big snowflakes fall on them all. Someone is cold, others are not. Someone goes back in for a hat or a scarf. Others fumble as they put on gloves or mittens, taking them off, dropping them, picking them up as they cross the street while others catch up with them. One tries to hold another’s hand, but the hand is pulled back before it can be clasped. Someone pulls up a collar or a hood; someone puts on glasses. They laugh.)
And then this guy shows up in a white Lexus. Makes a ton of money a month, all real cool-like. A DJ or something. Talk about being outgunned. I tried to make her see sense, tell her it was just a fling, but people don’t hear anything at moments like that. So she packed up her bags and she was gone. I even wanted to marry her. But it turned out she didn’t love me.
BUSHY-TAIL: Why not?
VOLODYA: I don’t know. Probably because she was afraid of ruining her reputation.
BUSHY-TAIL: What’s that supposed to mean?
(The six enter the café, which is packed and noisy. They shake snow off their coats as they remove them. It seems they are endlessly taking things off, coats, scarves, hats, gloves, mittens, until they finally get down to their beautiful, bared shoulders, bare midriffs and thighs. They take seats, read the menu, someone walks by, someone else recognizes someone and waves, someone moves in front of someone, somebody makes room for somebody else who couldn’t find a seat, somebody scoots over, others bring a chair, while others move over to a table by the window and people exchange seats. Someone recognizes SNOWFLAKE and BLIZZARD and points a finger at them. Someone opens his mouth...)
MANIAC: When you start looking for things in love, there’s nothing left to find
BLIZZARD: What’s dangerous is sudden moves
LENOCHKA: Why?
MANIAC: Because then the search is expanded. And there’s a whole universe out there. Whatever you want to find is out there to be found.
BLIZZARD: It all happens suddenly. You don’t have time to think. Any person with brains figures that out sooner or later
LENOCHKA: Love dies anyway
ORANGINA: And so fast
LENOCHKA: But why?
MANIAC: Because whatever it is, it’s already been done
LENOCHKA: Who?
MANIAC: Who? Partners. Lovers. People. A human. One, two
BLIZZARD: It all comes down to sex
MANIAC: Is that before you know it’s love or after?
SNOWFLAKE: And you’ve got to have education of some kind
SNOWSTORM: At least elementary
BLIZZARD: Basically it’s a very difficult thing, all these physical signs
BUSHY-TAIL (Approaches with a notepad and pen): Whiskey? Tequila? Two whiskeys and one tequila? One? One whiskey and two tequilas? Gold or silver?
MANIAC (To SNOWFLAKE): What’re you gonna have? To drink?
LENOCHKA: If a woman takes the time to answer, then she’s already said “yes” to everything he has in mind. And that’s all there is to it. It’s horrible. There’s nothing more horrible than that. A random affair in the making.
BLIZZARD: That’s what destroys our youth
MANIAC: If only
SNOWFLAKE: Carrot juice
ORANGINA: And orange juice
MANIAC: I suggest a compromise
BUSHY-TAIL: A carrot-orange cocktail?
MANIAC: And a salad of some kind
BUSHY-TAIL: What kind?
MANIAC: Herbs
LENOCHKA: And herbal tea
BLIZZARD: Green tea
BUSHY-TAIL: With jasmine?
SNOWFLAKE: And orange pekoe
BLIZZARD: I need a vitamin boost
SNOWFLAKE: And dessert
ORANGINA: Make that two
SNOWSTORM: I don’t know what I want
BUSHY-TAIL: The fish plate’s good
SNOWSTORM: I hate fish
BUSHY-TAIL: It’s very good
BLIZZARD (Takes BUSHY-TAIL by the hand): If it’s not will you have dinner with me?
BUSHY-TAIL: Try it
SNOWSTORM: I’ll chance it
(VOLODYA puts on his coat and scarf, all the while keeping a close eye on BUSHY-TAIL, no matter where she goes. He casts a suspicious glance at BLIZZARD, waves to BUSHY-TAIL, pointing to his watch. She nods back at him, as if sharing with him something only they know. VOLODYA goes out into the snowstorm on the street. The café is filled with music, the television is tuned to BCH, on which the TV star SNOWFLAKE is seen reporting the news but without sound.)
You’re a lot more elegant in real life than on screen
SNOWFLAKE: The screen adds twelve pounds
LENOCHKA: Really? I didn’t know that
SNOWFLAKE: Do you like my eyebrows?
ORANGINA (Taking SNOWFLAKE’s picture): Oh, yes
LENOCHKA: I bought some new boots
MANIAC: I want some just like that. Do they have big sizes?
LENOCHKA: I’ll ask if you want
ORANGINA (Smelling SNOWFLAKE): I just love the way you smell
SNOWFLAKE (Her cell phone rings with the melody from “The Umbrellas of Cherbourg.” She doesn’t answer it): With his love he pours molten copper over my head
MANIAC: If you aren’t part of the solution, you’re part of the problem
BUSHY-TAIL: Here’s your fish plate
BLIZZARD: Why don’t you join us?
BUSHY-TAIL: You haven’t even tried it yet
SNOWSTORM: The smell alone is making me sick to my stomach
BLIZZARD: I love fish
SNOWSTORM: What’s your name?
MANIAC: Her name’s Bushy-Tail
(A small book of some kind falls out of BUSHY-TAIL’s apron. ORANGINA picks it up.)
ORANGINA (Photographing first the book and then BUSHY-TAIL): What are you reading?
BUSHY-TAIL: A biology textbook. I want to be a doctor
SNOWFLAKE (Gagging): Are you kidding?
BUSHY-TAIL: Why?
MANIAC: You’re too beautiful
BLIZZARD: Order something for yourself
BUSHY-TAIL: Another time
MANIAC: I’ll take care of this
BLIZZARD: Tell me, Bushy-Tail, what do you love more than anything on earth?
BUSHY-TAIL: Macaroni and cheese
BLIZZARD: Is that bizarre? I do too
BUSHY-TAIL: And boiled onions
BLIZZARD: You’re joking
BUSHY-TAIL: No, it’s true
BLIZZARD: I thought I was the only person on earth who loved boiled onions
(BUSHY-TAIL leaves, clears something from the table, brings back another order, is always efficient and on time with everything. She seems to be everywhere at once. People are walking all around. BLIZZARD is seen on the TV screen.)
SNOWSTORM: Do you have the sensation that the world revolves around you?
BLIZZARD: Non-stop almost
ORANGINA: And that everything around us is a lie?
BLIZZARD: I have the feeling people confuse the truth for what it’s not
SNOWFLAKE: She really is a pretty girl
ORANGINA: She has such delicate wrists, slender ankles and such an androgynous figure
BUSHY-TAIL (Appears): What kind of figure?
LENOCHKA: Two huge eyes
BUSHY-TAIL: I’ve never considered myself pretty. Not for five minutes
ORANGINA: You could be a trend-setter
SNOWFLAKE: God wanted to make her a handsome boy
SNOWSTORM: But changed his mind at the last minute
MANIAC: Come on, Bushy-Tail, have a drink with us
BUSHY-TAIL (Speaks and disappears): I don’t drink or smoke
LENOCHKA (To SNOWFLAKE): Did you quit smoking?
SNOWFLAKE: I never smoked to begin with
ORANGINA: You don’t know how lucky you are
SNOWFLAKE: I have lots of other flaws
BLIZZARD (To BUSHY-TAIL): Where do people like you come from?
BUSHY-TAIL (Appearing): The Far North
LENOCHKA: Just what I thought for some reason
BUSHY-TAIL: Where are you from?
MANIAC: The eternal question – whence have we come?
SNOWFLAKE: It’s because she’s so natural, sincere and photogenic
ORANGINA: How old are you, Bushy-Tail?
BUSHY-TAIL: Me? I’m seventeen. What about you?
ORANGINA: Me? I think I’m twenty-five. I don’t remember
SNOWFLAKE (Hands BUSHY-TAIL a business card): Call me this evening
BLIZZARD: Don’t be afraid
ORANGINA: BCH
BUSHY-TAIL: What’s that?
BLIZZARD: Don’t you watch television?
BUSHY-TAIL: No
SNOWFLAKE: “Love Knows no Fear”
BLIZZARD: Definitely give it a watch
(Outside. VOLODYA walks along the street looking in shop windows, shivering from the cold. He stops in a store, shakes the snow off his shoulders, looks over the men’s clothing then moves on to look at the women’s clothing. Looks at the hats, tries on one, another, a third, standing before the mirror, gazing at himself from all possible angles. Takes off the hat, puts it back in its place and walks back out onto the street.
In the café it’s warm. Someone is even dancing; someone has walked away, another has returned. Someone is still eating, someone is drinking. SNOWFLAKE reads a book, SNOWSTORM drinks whiskey on ice, smokes and people watches.)
SNOWSTORM: I was totally phased out by helplessness, uselessness, moneylessness – I left my wife. I went to another city to live with a friend. I wasn’t doing anything at the time, just playing some music, writing some poetry, and I remember how everything just came crashing down on me. I was writing these really gruesome, depressing poems with suicidal overtones. They came under the title of “Me Searching for Glory.” They were about this guy lying in a bathtub who slits his wrists and realizes that the only thing tying him to the real world is his girlfriend who he really loves and empathizes with. These poems were colored by the dramatic experiences of a friend of mine – he’d split up with his girlfriend, too. She was a ballerina. And the last line went like this:
She’ll return to me, of course,
Some other Monday morn.
But today the end is my goal.
A knife is my compass,
My heart is my atlas.
And then it all ends with a lot of howling. The only things I had to my name were a towel, three books, forty rubles and 200 records. Two hundred records was the sum of my life. That’s the exalted state I lived in at the time. I was a genuine maniac. A maniac of despair.
MANIAC (Peering over SNOWFLAKE’s shoulder): What are you reading?
SNOWFLAKE: I’m rereading Nabokov.
MANIAC: You break my heart. That’s my favorite writer.
LENOCHKA: So what do you do when you’re not working?
MANIAC: I swim. That’s why I have big shoulders
ORANGINA: That’s beautiful (Takes MANIAC’s photo.)
BLIZZARD: I like track and field, myself
LENOCHKA: You run fast?
BLIZZARD: I wanted to run to the sun when I was a kid
MANIAC: What is that food you’re eating?
BLIZZARD: Bread, mushrooms and cheese
MANIAC: I’ve got greens of some sort
LENOCHKA: Vitamins
MANIAC: I wonder who the first guy to eat greens was
LENOCHKA: Our neighbors used to complain to my mother that I sniffed the grass
SNOWFLAKE: You get in trouble?
LENOCHKA: She says, what do you sniff grass for?
MANIAC: Really
SNOWSTORM: My mom still has no idea that I smoke and use psychotropics
BLIZZARD: Is that already a beer you’re drinking?
SNOWSTORM: Beer and coffee
LENOCHKA: Ooh, yuck
MANIAC: What are your blinies with?
SNOWFLAKE: Kiwi and strawberries
LENOCHKA: Mine are with chocolate
ORANGINA: Mine are with honey and lemon juice
SNOWSTORM: Don’t non-conformists live well?
MANIAC: But we die young
(VOLODYA walks along the street outside, stops in front of a woman’s lingerie store, goes inside, warms up his hands, looks at his watch, gets embarrassed, leaves, goes back in the opposite direction, enters the previous store, tries on hats again – one, another, a third. Finally chooses one and buys it, puts it on and goes back out on the street.
In the café the six pay their bill and prepare to leave. Someone washes his hands, others endlessly keep putting things on while somebody helps someone else put something on.)
BUSHY-TAIL (Looking over the business card. To ORANGINA, who takes her picture): What do you do?
ORANGINA: I’m a designer. I make everything beautiful. You know how that is?
BUSHY-TAIL (Nodding in the direction of Maniac): What about him?
MANIAC: I have the luxury of doing nothing whatsoever at the moment. Sometimes my friend and I (embraces BLIZZARD) hire prostitutes and we film it on video
(BLIZZARD gags. BUSHY-TAIL’s eyes get real big. ORANGINA takes advantage of the moment and photographs it.)
LENOCHKA: Ooh, yuck
SNOWFLAKE: That’s his stupid idea of a joke
BLIZZARD: Want some chewing gum?
LENOCHKA: Is it strawberry?
ORANGINA: My favorite
SNOWFLAKE: My perfume is strawberry
SNOWSTORM: I’ve been wondering how come it smells so sweetly of strawberries
LENOCHKA (Takes the chewing gum from BLIZZARD’s hand and then takes his hand in hers): What an interesting hand. Now, now, now, now, now – let’s look at this in the light
MANIAC: What about me?
SNOWSTORM: Do you believe in palm readings?
MANIAC: Tell my fortune
BLIZZARD: What do you see?
MANIAC: What are you looking so hard for there?
SNOWSTORM: Careful, Lena. He’s jumpy
LENOCHKA: You have a very strange life line
BLIZZARD: Why?
LENOCHKA: Because it breaks off
BLIZZARD: Okay –
SNOWSTORM: So now you live on with the weight of this painful paranoia hanging over you
MANIAC: How much time does he have left?
LENOCHKA: You have about –
MANIAC: The years are numbered
BLIZZARD (Pulls his hand away, hugs it to him): Knock it off. I don’t want to know.
LENOCHKA: I realize, you probably shouldn’t do that
SNOWFLAKE: That’s serious stuff
ORANGINA: You have a beautiful T-shirt. What’s that written on it?
LENOCHKA: Angels don’t weep
ORANGINA: What about yours?
SNOWSTORM: Masturbating is no crime
MANIAC: What do you think?
ORANGINA: I think it’s a sin
(SNOWSTORM has left, but he comes back.)
SNOWSTORM: I forgot my case
BUSHY-TAIL: I thought I saw someone forgot a case
SNOWSTORM (Picking up his case): That was me
BUSHY-TAIL (To SNOWSTORM): I forgot, what’s your name?
SNOWSTORM: Blizzard
BLIZZARD: Blizzard – that’s me. He’s Snowstorm. “There once lived two fine friends – Snowstorm and Blizzard.” You know that song?
BUSHY-TAIL: No
BLIZZARD: That’s about us. He wrote the lyrics. I wrote the music
SNOWSTORM: But we’ll sing that for you another time
BUSHY-TAIL: How come you have such funny names?
MANIAC: Because they’re homosexuals
BLIZZARD: He’s joking
SNOWSTORM: Does that bother you?
BUSHY-TAIL: I don’t care
SNOWSTORM: Somebody gimme a smoke
BLIZZARD: Here
MANIAC: You like to dominate?
BUSHY-TAIL (Remaining alone. Looks over the business card): In the Far North there’s never anything to do. There’s nothing except theater. And in the Far North women really dress up beautifully to go the theater. It’s not like here. People here just wear whatever they wore to work when they come to the theater. Where I come from, women put on evening gowns and jewelry, and they never fail to put on heels. When you walk to the theater the fresh sea air comes in and it smells like fresh-cut cucumbers. That means the fishermen are beginning to sell their day’s catch of smelt – that’s a kind of fish. It smells like fresh cucumbers.
(The six are out on the street. They head in the direction of the office, slowly, deliberately, taking their time, chewing their gum, looking around, sometimes just stopping and standing there. Once again, someone forgot something, so they went back to get it. Someone puts on glasses, someone else takes something off and asks another to try it on. They exchange clothing and laugh, looking at their reflections in storefront windows and car windshields. Someone pulls out a make-up case, someone else steps off to the side and talks on their cell phone.)
SNOWSTORM: Unlike you I simply have no talent for talking to women. For some reason I start lying immediately
BLIZZARD: You just have to think that they have nothing you want
SNOWSTORM: But that’s not true
MANIAC: Just pretend it is
BLIZZARD: Coffee, ice cream with mint and don’t look ’em in the eye
SNOWSTORM: I do just the opposite. I look deep into their eyes
BLIZZARD: She’ll think, “how come he’s not looking at me”
MANIAC: You look at ’em later
SNOWSTORM: I made a date for dinner with this one girl. I call her up and confirm and then I come to pick her up and call her and she hangs up on me
MANIAC: What the hell are you confirming? Dinner dates aren’t office jobs, you know
BLIZZARD: Did you talk to her about love?
SNOWSTORM: What’s there to say about love on the phone?
LENOCHKA: Women don’t accept commands
ORANGINA: Women only understand presents and aromas
MANIAC: Women have to listen to everything all the time, to convince themselves and others that they are wanted 24/7. That used to be done by letters, now it’s telephones and text messages
BLIZZARD: People have started hiding behind text messages
MANIAC: Orgasm. Sex only in words, only in text messages. Without that you’ve got a temper tantrum
BLIZZARD: Her underwear didn’t match her eyes
MANIAC: And she already wore that dress last time
BLIZZARD: To another restaurant
MANIAC: And not with him
LENOCHKA: You are exceedingly cynical
MANIAC: I can’t deny what’s true
(They ascend in a transparent glass elevator, shake off the snow, take off their gloves, mittens, caps, and scarves and wipe off their foggy glasses.)
LENOCHKA: Sex for men is a sport
MANIAC: The kind of sex where you go and come – that strikes me as something savage. You kind of want something more
ORANGINA: Everyone dreams of happiness
MANIAC: Or of sex
SNOWFLAKE: Is there anything sacred in your life, Maniac?
MANIAC: No. You can’t serve God and mammon. You can’t sit on two chairs at once
LENOCHKA: Snowstorm, are you married?
SNOWSTORM: No
LENOCHKA: Why not?
MANIAC: When the evaluations begin – all these “are you married, I’m not married” – that’s it. From there on even the slightest minus becomes a huge tragedy. Everything should be absolutely ideal
SNOWSTORM: I’ve got some numbers in my cell phone belonging to girls who send me messages sometimes. Most of them are exes, women I’ve been involved with. Sometimes I have sex with them
BLIZZARD: It can happen to anyone
ORANGINA: But not everyone
BLIZZARD: Sometimes it’s really hard to jive different sex drives
ORANGINA: You’ve got to understand them to do that
(The café. VOLODYA drinks an espresso. BUSHY-TAIL eats pistachios out of his bowl.)
BUSHY-TAIL: So what was she afraid of? You were telling
VOLODYA: She was ashamed of me because she said I was just a sergeant
BUSHY-TAIL (Impressed): You’re a sergeant?
VOLODYA: First I was a junior sergeant. Then, after 14 days, I made senior sergeant
BUSHY-TAIL: That fast?
VOLODYA: For service to my country. When I was out on a mission. True, they wanted to discharge me later, ’cause I wasn’t the only one who got a promotion. We were out celebrating that. And nobody ever celebrated big events like that without me. I ripped off my stripes and I said, leave me alone – I’ll just be a regular soldier. But they changed their minds later. Before the army I studied agriculture in college.
BUSHY-TAIL: Isn’t that something
(The office. People walk around and leave. Five people sit at five desks, working at their computers. SNOWSTORM keeps dancing. He’s wearing silver headphones. People are drinking coffee and tea, others feed the gold fish. SNOWFLAKE and BLIZZARD are having their make-up done. ORANGINA takes photos as someone is hooking wires up to something. Maniac signs pieces of paper as others come and go.)
SNOWFLAKE: If a man and a woman come to an agreement, then, yes, mutual understanding of some kind is possible
MANIAC: Nobody understands anybody. Everybody only understands their own desires
BLIZZARD: Eat, drink and sleep
SNOWSTORM: It’s hard for anyone to see beyond the end of his own nose
LENOCHKA: The only thing anyone knows well is what he wants
SNOWFLAKE: If someone can clearly define his desire, then something may come of it
MANIAC: What if he wants sex? Does he get it?
SNOWFLAKE: What if he wants a fairy tale?
LENOCHKA: Rules are what we want
SNOWFLAKE: We don’t do things by consensus, we just follow our feelings
LENOCHKA: Irrationality is a woman’s only logic
BLIZZARD (To ORANGINA): Admit it. That’s true
MANIAC: Let’s go to my place and watch a movie
LENOCHKA: That’s the second “yes” a woman says: If a woman agrees to go to the movies, then that’s all she wrote
MANIAC: If only
BLIZZARD: For love a woman must have three things
SNOWFLAKE: What?
BLIZZARD: First, a stopwatch
LENOCHKA: Why’s that?
BLIZZARD: So as not to open her mouth for more than six seconds
MANIAC: Forget all that la-la-la bla-bla-bla chicky-chicky sis-boom-bah
BLIZZARD: Remember: you have only six seconds. Men understand only short, unambiguous commands
MANIAC: And don’t back a man into a corner
BLIZZARD: Family life is just like life on the job. Right-left, gimme your hand, sit, when, how much, and where. Wednesday evening, Tuesday. I can make it Wednesday, Wednesday at five, all right
LENOCHKA: What’s the second?
BLIZZARD: The second is a black belt
SNOWFLAKE: Karate?
BLIZZARD: A classic black belt
ORANGINA: What’s the third?
MANIAC: The third is that there is only one foreign language. And you have to learn it
BLIZZARD: That language is called the male language. You have to learn to speak to men in their own language
LENOCHKA: How do you learn it?
BLIZZARD: You simply have to forget Russian. And learn three phrases. These three phrases are very difficult to pronounce. (Counts off on his fingers.) I’ll wait for you. I love you. I kiss you. And then in the opposite order. Kiss you. Love you. Waiting for you.
MANIAC: And no philosophical, psychological or religious conversations
LENOCHKA: Why not?
MANIAC: It’s forbidden
BLIZZARD: One way or another, they lead to fights
LENOCHKA: What do you talk about then?
MANIAC: You have to understand each other without words
SNOWFLAKE: But understanding is very difficult
MANIAC: There’s a lot of zeroes on the end
SNOWFLAKE: A man and a woman can understand each other on an animalistic level, that they want each other, that they want tenderness and understanding
LENOCHKA: They themselves don’t know what that means
SNOWFLAKE: It’s all very mystifying
(BUSHY-TAIL and VOLODYA walk down the street.)
VOLODYA: I was christened when I was sixteen years old. I was big. I believe everything that has anything to do with God. Do you?
BUSHY-TAIL: Yes, I do believe
VOLODYA: I went into the army and I had this cross. I lost it in combat training. I lost my cross. Basically all we did was beat each other’s faces in. And then a week later at five in the morning we get into formation in the yard in full combat dress and they do the roll call and say, “You’re going to Chechnya.” You don’t question orders. On the runway at the airport this guy approached us. He says, “You guys are going on a mission and I’ve got crosses for you. Only I don’t have enough for everybody.” It goes without saying that I didn’t get one. There were 54 of us. We didn’t have enough ammunition to go around. Naturally, there wasn’t enough for me. They passed me over. But all I could think of is that I didn’t have a cross. And with no ammo all that stuff just starts to overwhelm you. Bad, bad thoughts.
BUSHY-TAIL: How could you not have ammunition?
VOLODYA: They gave me some later. Later on there was plenty of everything. One day we were cleaning out one house. It was obvious Russians lived there. There was a small icon right where you’d expect one to be in the corner of the room. The place looked like a hurricane hit it. We went in, looked around and I sat down on a chair. I felt something poking me underneath. I stood up and looked and there was this cross lying there. So, you see? I found one. I haven’t taken it off since.
BUSHY-TAIL: They say you shouldn’t wear someone else’s cross.
VOLODYA: Yeah, I’ve heard that; about taking on somebody else’s sins. But I found that one there and I’ve had no problem. After that luck was on my side. A grenade blew up three feet from me and I didn’t have a scratch. I don’t know if that was a fluke or what. Everybody thought I was dead meat but it didn’t even touch me. Except I went deaf for awhile. Not a scratch. And now I’ve met you.
(VOLODYA and BUSHY-TAIL stand at the entrance to her apartment building. BUSHY-TAIL says goodbye and goes in. VOLODYA continues to stand there as if he’s waiting for something.
The six stand in a parking lot. Snow is falling and all of them are gesturing in different directions as they discuss who will ride with whom in whose car. Everyone approaches his or her own car. MANIAC invites everyone to pile into his; BLIZZARD invites all to join him in his. The women laugh as they decide which car to get in and the men try pulling them in their direction. BLIZZARD and MANIAC clean the snow off their cars. MANIAC’s car is red, BLIZZARD’s is white. The doors are now open, music can be heard from the cars and everybody is dancing in the snow as they wait for the engines to warm up. It emerges that MANIAC’s car is an Alpha-Romeo, BLIZZARD’s is a Lexus. SNOWFLAKE and LENOCHKA get into the Alpha-Romeo, ORANGINA and SNOWSTORM get into the back seat of the Lexus. They drive off.
BUSHY-TAIL’s apartment. BUSHY-TAIL pulls a box out of her closet – in it is a new pair of black shoes, a white dress and fancy earrings. She looks over SNOWFLAKE’s business card. Makes a telephone call. Somewhere on the other end of the city the music from The Umbrellas of Cherbourg can be heard.
The Lexus. BLIZZARD, SNOWSTORM and ORANGINA.)
BLIZZARD (Turning up the music): What do you think of this?
ORANGINA: I like it
BLIZZARD: The female organism also differs from the male in that speakers affect it differently
SNOWSTORM: Women feel physical pleasure from this music
ORANGINA: I had this terrible dream that I was dancing all wrong
BLIZZARD: You dance and you dance and there’s no point to it
SNOWSTORM: Except that it feels great
ORANGINA: Will you teach me how?
BLIZZARD: Just stand in front of the mirror and dance
SNOWSTORM: You have to make friends with your body. Your own. Since you’ve been given a body, you might as well live in harmony with it. It’s so cool to be able to glide across the floor
BLIZZARD: I used to have a great body. I wanted to be a bodybuilder and compete in competitions with the Arnold Schwarzenegger technique. No anabolic steroids. I loved looking at myself in the mirror. I looked like that statue of Apollo
SNOWSTORM: It’s hard to move well if you don’t love yourself
BLIZZARD: And if you don’t like the way you are when you dance
ORANGINA: When I dance at least I stop thinking
BLIZZARD: So what is it you think about all the time?
ORANGINA: I’m constantly haunted by thoughts that maybe I’m not living right
(SNOWSTORM’s knee accidentally comes to rest against ORANGINA’s knee. She pulls her leg away.
The Lexus catches up with the Alpha-Romeo and begins to pass it. ORANGINA’s knee falls against SNOWSTORM’s knee. BLIZZARD sees this in the rear-view mirror and ORANGINA tries to pull away. As the car turns ORANGINA falls over into SNOWSTORM’s lap.)
BLIZZARD (Smiling): Are we lacking excitement in our lives?
SNOWSTORM: Excitement can appear only when you don’t expect it. When you chill out and just live, boldly, putting nothing into parentheses
(The Alpha-Romeo. MANIAC, SNOWFLAKE and LENOCHKA.)
MANIAC: The most exhilarating moment in my life was when my brother took me up in a supersonic jet. Now that was something.
SNOWFLAKE: Wasn’t it scary?
MANIAC: It was thrilling. It made me want to sing. But everything inside me was all churned upside down as if I was no longer me and my body wasn’t mine. The only thought I had in my mind was – God, I hope I don’t barf
SNOWFLAKE: And you call that the most exhilarating moment in your life?
MANIAC: Nothing can compare to it
LENOCHKA: Music sometimes does that to me
MANIAC: There was this time when I had just returned from a BASE jumping competition and it was my mother’s birthday. She asked me to bring over a video of it to show the guests. So I do. And this one guy comes up to me and he asks, “Why do you do this?”
SNOWFLAKE: Really
LENOCHKA: Why do you?
MANIAC: Well, this is what I say to him: “See, when I come right to the edge and I look down from the top of a cliff or a skyscraper with my toes hanging over, my heart stops and my breath stops and I think – now I’m going to go and jump
SNOWFLAKE: Why would you do that?
MANIAC: That’s just what he asked me
LENOCHKA: Adrenalin rushes, the psychological wounds of childhood and inferiority complexes all take on extreme forms
MANIAC: I wondered about it myself for a long time. Everybody has dreams of a material kind, hopes to achieve material prosperity. But why do you live? Take a step out there on the edge and you instantly understand why
(The Lexus is caught in a traffic jam.)
BLIZZARD: This world is so chaotic and futile, you have to know how to distance yourself from it. There are so many things to do in life that you waste all your energy on everything at once instead of focusing on one specific thing. But life was granted to us so we could extract the maximum enjoyment from it. Comfort is the true fetish of the 21st century. So when you fall in love you have to do it with comfort in mind. You have to be relaxed together.
ORANGINA: Every person strives for harmony in life
SNOWSTORM: Or at least for inner tranquility
BLIZZARD: The Japanese know the secret of love. It’s comfort. I dream of having a Japanese woman
SNOWSTORM: Me, I like plump women with glasses and a young kid
ORANGINA: Every woman in the world wants to lose weight
(The Alfa-Romeo. Also stuck in a traffic jam.)
MANIAC: Look around at people. Why do you think they jump? Because the most awesome high a person can get is to rise above his own self. Lenochka, conquer that wild beast in you that arises from savage fear! The sensation you get when you jump is like turning somersaults
LENOCHKA: Where did you learn to do that?
MANIAC: I used to be really fat and I weighed 300 pounds. Blizzard and I started taking private lessons in acrobatics. We wanted to fly freely and sublimely. And I lost weight.
SNOWFLAKE: How many times have you jumped?
MANIAC: I’d guess about 80
LENOCHKA: You’re kidding?
MANIAC: Oh, that’s no big deal
SNOWFLAKE: Some countries have banned it as suicidal
MANIAC: Every person who jumps from four different objects gets his own number. Maybe I’ll get my own number soon. By the time I get to 835...
LENOCHKA: Orangina lives in apartment number 835
MANIAC: Maybe 834
LENOCHKA: No, Blizzard lives in 834
SNOWFLAKE: You mean they’re neighbors already? I didn’t know that
LENOCHKA: Everything everywhere has numbers on it
MANIAC: Then maybe it’s something else
SNOWFLAKE: There are so many sick people in the world
LENOCHKA: Is it true you don’t have a safety chute?
MANIAC: No safety chute and no insurance
SNOWFLAKE: You must have some philosophy about that
MANIAC: My philosophy is that, sooner or later, all of us will be smashed to death against a cliff
SNOWFLAKE: Isn’t that lovely
LENOCHKA: Are you a good BASE jumper?
MANIAC: A good BASE jumper is a live BASE jumper
SNOWFLAKE: He’s crazy. Did you know that even his hands glow in the dark?
LENOCHKA: Yeah, he shows that to everyone
MANIAC: Blizzard and I once got drunk on champagne and we did a two-way jump
LENOCHKA: Together?
SNOWFLAKE: I’d never jump
MANIAC: What about with me?
SNOWFLAKE: Not in your dreams
MANIAC: Snowflake, I’m beginning to wonder if you’re a conformist at heart
SNOWFLAKE: Is that so bad?
LENOCHKA: You don’t have any principles at all
MANIAC: You think I don’t have any principles? Man, it’s you that doesn’t have any principles
LENOCHKA: Yes, I don’t have any principles, but that’s because I get new ones every day. We live in an accelerated age. Everything is speeding up
MANIAC: Speeding up for some, slowing down for others
SNOWFLAKE: It’s all so confusing
(The street. BUSHY-TAIL rides a tram car. Looks out the window.
MANIAC’s apartment. An enormous amount of people in constant, chaotic motion. Smoke. Music. Someone’s dancing. Someone isn’t. Someone’s watching a DVD. The girls are changing clothes, pulling new things out of bags, brushing their hair, rebrushing their hair, putting on make-up, redoing their make-up. BUSHY-TAIL enters, looks around, takes off her coat. Nobody pays her any attention. BUSHY-TAIL, on the contrary, misses nothing. She’s transfixed by everything she sees, her eyes open wide as she looks for a familiar face in the crowd. She recognizes BLIZZARD, then ORANGINA and sees MANIAC, SNOWFLAKE and LENOCHKA in various places. She listens carefully to the conversations going on around her.
BLIZZARD (In the bathroom, shaving his head bald): I’m in a mood like roulette – betting on red but the ball doesn’t fall
ORANGINA (Photographing the process): You have really sharp mood swings, up and down, up and down
BLIZZARD: Is it that obvious?
ORANGINA: It’s really irritating
MANIAC (On his telephone): Six feet? How much is it from the blast pipe to the blister fairing? Wow –
SNOWFLAKE (On her phone): You’re so cool about your decision it’s absurd
SNOWSTORM (Leafing through a magazine, going into the bathroom): Would you do me a tattoo?
BLIZZARD: I’ve been wanting to do one for a year
SNOWSTORM: Me for three
SNOWFLAKE: Maybe you’re ready but I’m not
MANIAC: Federal? Then that’s clear
SNOWSTORM: What ideas do you have?
BLIZZARD: I dream about these ideas – birds, patterns, dragons
SNOWFLAKE: Just because you want to isn’t enough. Nothing can come of nothing
MANIAC: All right-all right. But where’s the guarantee they don’t decide at the last minute that some cosmonaut would be better?
SNOWFLAKE: Well, you can think so if you want to
MANIAC: What can I say, man? You’re cool
LENOCHKA (On her phone): Listen, I can’t spend my whole life in the process of creating this thing
BLIZZARD (In the bathroom): I had this dream about Vladimir Vysotsky. I had that dream and I said – that’s it! I’ll do Vyotsky’s profile on my chest!
MANIAC: No, I can’t say as I’m ready for that. That came out of the blue
SNOWSTORM: You gonna do Marina Vlady on your back?
BLIZZARD: Yeah, I already set aside a hundred dollars
MANIAC: How much you need? 60 thou? Yeah, I got it, I hear what you said
SNOWFLAKE: No, I’m not depressed. I’ve got too much to do, to be depressed. I’ll give you a call if that happens
MANIAC: Can you put that in an email? Get it off to me today
LENOCHKA: You can redo it 60 times over but it still isn’t going to be right! Everybody’s so damn smart. Did you think I was going to go slit my wrists in the bathtub?
MANIAC: Those fighter jets are his? Holy shit! (Laughs hysterically.)
SNOWFLAKE: A woman can’t only give with her body. She has to give with her head, too
LENOCHKA: If you like it, dig it. If you don’t, get over and get on with it!
MANIAC: Is he offering anything under the table?
BLIZZARD (In the bathroom): Is that a nice skull?
SNOWSTORM: You want a skull tattoo?
SNOWFLAKE: It’s the eternal problem – the battle of reason and feeling
MANIAC: So what you’re saying is basically everything revolves around these fighter jets
SNOWFLAKE: I have no idea what to do
MANIAC: All right, okay. There’s people waiting here
BLIZZARD: This tattoo drove me wild
MANIAC: Our project was accepted on the federal level. The President just signed off on it
BLIZZARD: That’s hot shit
MANIAC: It’s perfectly logical
SNOWSTORM: What’s the project?
MANIAC: It’s secret
BLIZZARD: Then you’ll read about it tomorrow in the papers
SNOWFLAKE: Are you going off into space?
MANIAC: Unlike you, when I go, I’ll go on travel orders
(The six walk along the street with BUSHY-TAIL. They duck into a night club of some sort, passing by a long line. Neon lights flicker as they pass through face-control. LENOCHKA shows signs of nervousness, Snowflake keeps talking on her phone. Strobe lights, a bar, the dance floor, bathrooms, sofas, pillows, the bar, dance floor, bathrooms, the street – and so it goes until morning. ORANGINA photographs BUSHY-TAIL.
SNOWFLAKE (On her phone): Are we talking about the ideal man? All men say it doesn’t happen like that
LENOCHKA (To BUSHY-TAIL): You show too much of your personal self in your facial expressions
SNOWFLAKE: “Just like that,” as Assol said in Scarlet Sails
BUSHY-TAIL: What do you mean?
ORANGINA: Signs of a good upbringing
BUSHY-TAIL: Is that bad?
LENOCHKA: It could cause problems. But it might not
BLIZZARD (Looking at himself in the mirror): I’ve already tried on a coupla different kinds of crosses. I didn’t want anything ostentatious, nothing with gold chains, you know
MANIAC: Well, that one’s just right
SNOWFLAKE: I always sit and cry when I watch that film. God, I love it
MANIAC: Are you macho?
BLIZZARD: Macho sometimes. You gotta always be ready. I can turn on the tough-guy
SNOWFLAKE: Over 35, smart. No, I don’t admit the possibility of a man without brains
BLIZZARD: Sometimes I’m as soft as a baby’s kiss
LENOCHKA (Looking at BUSHY-TAIL): A whole utopia of feminine innocence and female infantility
BLIZZARD: I’m a prince. Really. In fact.
MANIAC: Weak, jumpy and jaded
LENOCHKA: You have to awaken men’s pity. You know? But as a child, not as a woman. Make them want to feed you, put you to bed, kiss you tenderly on the forehead and rub iodine on your banged-up knees
BUSHY-TAIL: Why?
LENOCHKA: That’s what all women want
BLIZZARD: And men
MANIAC: Everybody wants back in the womb
BUSHY-TAIL: Yesterday a couple got married at our church. They were really young. They were all surrounded by little kids and then all the old women ran up to congratulate them. It was really beautiful
MANIAC: A woman’s imagination is excited by a prince on a white horse and a wedding with fleurs d’orange at 20, at 30 and at 60
LENOCHKA: Which is entirely natural
MANIAC (Sniffing the air): And howling winds blow the sands of Morocco past our faces
BUSHY-TAIL: It smells just like autumn leaves
LENOCHKA: Only don’t start smoking here
SNOWFLAKE: If you smoke next to her you are liable to be blinded by a flash of bright light. You can be injured or burned
MANIAC: I’ve finally figured it out. I’m going to be a homosexual
LENOCHKA: Why do you say that?
SNOWFLAKE: Don’t accept sin into your heart
MANIAC: You’re not going to be jealous of men, are you?
SNOWFLAKE (In MANIAC’s direction): Only don’t be obsessive about it
BLIZZARD: We’ll just try it on for size
(VOLODYA’s apartment. The alarm clock rings. VOLODYA gets up, washes, does his exercises. Turns on the iron, irons his shirt and his pants, checking the folds on his pants leg.
The street. MANIAC, SNOWSTORM and BLIZZARD. They smoke. It’s snowing. It’s cold. Snowstorm has stripped off his shirt, baring his breast to the elements. Steam rises from his body.)
MANIAC (Clapping BLIZZARD on his bald head): Looks good on you. You’re the man
BLIZZARD: That’s not what’s important
SNOWSTORM: What’s important for you?
BLIZZARD: I myself don’t know. (Looks over his life line.) The funniest thing about it is – my life line really does break off. It used to be really long and all normal, but now it’s like there’s this white spot all over my palm
MANIAC: Oh, screw that
SNOWSTORM: Go wash your hands
BLIZZARD: Easy for you to say
SNOWSTORM: Nobody’s got a guarantee
BLIZZARD: You’ve gotta be ready for death at any moment
MANIAC: Now that’s my warrior, that’s my samurai
BLIZZARD: What if Lenochka’s a sorceress? She’s got a really heavy eye
MANIAC: Have you ever noticed her eyes are different colors?
SNOWSTORM: Like David Bowie
BLIZZARD: Come on, get off it. It’s time to get back to the grindstone (Heads back in the other direction.)
MANIAC: Only please don’t be late
BLIZZARD (Digs through SNOWFLAKE’s purse, spritzes on her perfume): I’m going to make one more strategic move
SNOWFLAKE: Just don’t drown yourself in that stuff
ORANGINA: Who are you doing that for?
BLIZZARD: I have an interview
SNOWFLAKE: Be careful. Never say what you really think
BLIZZARD: Why not?
SNOWFLAKE: Because everything changes so fast
BLIZZARD (He’s all dressed. Tosses keys to SNOWSTORM): I’ll be back around 10 or 12. (To ORANGINA.) Will you get Snowstorm back to my place?
ORANGINA: All right.
MANIAC: Lemme give you a kiss on the forehead
SNOWSTORM: Come on, let’s hit it!
BLIZZARD: This is called taking a leap into reality