Читать книгу Tripping Over - John Hickman - Страница 14

Dad was correct about the sabre rattling routine. After much disturbing talk on the wireless about what would happen to us if there was an atom bomb war it suddenly became old news. I never heard Nasser mentioned again but Mum remained distressed about thoughts of another war.

After picking at my Brussels sprouts at my grandparents’ meal table one day I complained again about my name. ‘It’s not fair. No-one else is the same as me.’

Gramps was sympathetic. ‘But in a certain kind of way that makes you special, doesn’t it? In the Bible God changed Peter and Abraham’s names.’

Gran was thoughtful. ‘It’s also a Jewish belief that to change a person’s name is to change their destiny.’

‘That doesn’t help me,’ I wailed.

Dad pushed back from the table. He puffed deeply on his pipe before he spoke. ‘There’s no need to fuss, Son. It’s simple. As I’ve already told you, I disliked my name so I changed it.’

Gran frowned. ‘Must have been an intense dislike. You went to considerable trouble to alter it.’

‘The change was easy, Mother. Any more questions anyone’s thought of since yesterday?’ Dad asked facetiously.

I continued cautiously, ‘While Honey isn’t a great name, Hickman doesn’t make me go all warm and fuzzy. Saying it over and over doesn’t mean it sounds any better either.’

‘At least Honey’s a short name,’ Gramps said defensively of his own name, ‘unlike Hickman, which was your gran’s maiden name and sounds more like a hiccup.’

‘I’ll thank you to leave my name alone. And anyway I don’t like long names.

And that includes double-barrelled ones that sound more like a fart in the bath. If you felt impelled to change your name, Son, why not select a good one? Something we could all salivate over. After all film stars do it.’

Dad shook his head and relit his pipe. ‘I felt ownership of the name Hickman.’

‘John Wayne had the right idea,’ Gramps interrupted with a smile and a wink at me. ‘He started out as Marion Robert Morrison.’

‘He’s done better than me,’ I said.

Gramps was thoughtful. ‘Times are long gone when a family name reflects a skill or promotes the manner in which someone earns their income. Do you think the man they called Honey kept bees?’

‘I’ve had enough of hearing about the name debacle,’ Dad turned to me. ‘Let’s talk about more important things like John’s progress in school.’

Mum put her hand to her mouth, ‘Oh, goodness, Bill, please don’t. You’ll destroy what little self confidence he has.’

‘What self confidence? He’s surely blessed with the attention span of a humming bird, which is why he isn’t doing better at school.’

‘Besides his poor eye sight, you mean,’ Mum replied on my behalf. ‘That discovery was made when he had been sitting at the rear of the classroom, and was asked a simple question by his teacher.’

‘I know,’ Dad said, ‘you told me. Almost as blind as a bat he’d been unable to read her chalk work on the blackboard. He had no idea of the answer. I get it! In a way she lifted forever his foggy gloom. Doubtless even she thought surely no one can be that fucking stupid?’

‘Thankfully in my case she was correct, Dad.’

‘No wonder he didn’t know the answers, Bill, he could scarcely see the board let alone distinguish what was written on it.’

Dad relit his trusty pipe. ‘It’s not good, Alice. Our son is a fuckwit.’

‘That’s unfair!’ Mum sounded angry. ‘He only knew diddlysquat because he couldn’t see.’

Dad quietly puffed his pipe and nodded. ‘Maybe we should get him some private tuition.’

Mum was supportive. ‘Yes, of course we should. Can’t you see it’s not so much a case of him being a boy with more on his mind than in it, but him simply not knowing what his teacher was pointing at on the board? He couldn’t read the writing, Bill.’

‘Then why didn’t he say something?’

‘He never spoke up because he’s withdrawn and shy.’

‘Thank Christ he’s at last being fitted out with spectacles then, Alice, or he’d have gone through life a complete fucking moron.’

Silence.

My new lenses when fitted were encased in heavy pink frames.

I peered through what Gramps described them as being as thick as Coke bottle bottoms. My eyes were almost obscured but my eyesight was perfect. I cried tears of joy. Now I could see!

‘Number 46 on the front of a double-decker red bus stands out now as it approaches,’ I told my family. ‘I no longer have to wait to ask the bus conductor what number bus is this, please?’

Later that evening when I packed down to sleep I realised that because of my spectacles another door of opportunity had closed firmly in my face. No longer could I follow in Dad’s footsteps and dream of becoming a pilot. Excellent eyesight with 20/20 vision was a prerequisite. And fantasy wise as the young hero about to rescue the beautiful maiden in distress I fell a long way short in heavy pink horn rimmed glasses. Clark Kent I wasn’t.

Next morning at breakfast Dad continued. He’d become exasperated with me.

‘At school he’s so far behind, Alice. He must move on.’

‘If only he could remain with his favourite teacher for the next five years,’ Mum put forward in my defence. ‘He’s formed such an attachment to her since she helped with his eyesight.’

‘He’s too shy and nervous, Alice, He’s afraid of his own shadow,’ Dad said, as he kissed Mum goodbye lightly on the lips.

Mum pulled back. ‘Who wouldn’t be? He’s enrolled at Eaton House primary school at Sloane Square. He realises it’s not related to the famous Eton but knows it’s expensive because you keep telling him it is. And he knows you expect him to do well, so of course he’s nervous. Can’t you see he wants to please you?’

Dad nodded. ‘That school is damn expensive. For what it’s costing us to send him there we could buy a bloody new car. We really should replace the old Talbot.’

Mum’s eyes were steady on Dad’s. ‘But it wasn’t John’s idea to go there, Bill.

It was yours. You shouldn’t expect so much from him. It’s unfair of you. He’s still too young.’

Dad was thoughtful. ‘You’re right. We’ll give him time to adjust. At least he hasn’t turned out to be a boring child.’

He shrugged and puffed hard on his pipe. ‘Showing a measure of ability and accountability shouldn’t be that hard. We’re all members of the same species, more or less.’ He puffed hard on his pipe again but needed to relight it. ‘I’m sure he’ll realise his full potential—some day.’