Читать книгу Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others: How to Increase Your Marriage Potential by up to 60% - John Molloy T. - Страница 21

When you walk into a room, have a pleasant look on your face, but not a big grin. Why not? If you have a big smile on your face when you walk in but the minute you start talking to someone that smile disappears, it sends the message that you don’t like the person you are speaking with. Smiling is important, but most people, especially women, need to tone it down. What generally works best is the look you get on your face when you’re about to smile. Then you can break into a real grin when you meet someone, which lets him know you really are pleased to meet him.

One of the keys to making a good first impression is to match your verbal with your nonverbal messages. When you say, “Pleased to meet you,” you need to look and sound pleased. A majority of those we surveyed told us they were attracted to people who seemed to like them. It sounds very simple, but it’s a little trickier than it sounds.

About 80 percent of the people we surveyed thought they could charm others if they set out to do so. But research shows that when most people deliberately turn on the charm, they smile too broadly, and the people they meet see their smiles as artificial. Rather than create a positive impression, they either create no impression at all or, worse, turn off the very people they intended to charm. We found that many women come across as overly friendly, something you should be careful to avoid.

Practice being charming in front of a full-length mirror. Start by trying to look like a person everybody likes. It may take a while, possibly several sessions of ten to fifteen minutes, but almost everyone who role-plays being upbeat and friendly in front of a mirror eventually ups her charm quotient considerably.