Читать книгу The Texan's Surprise Return - Jolene Navarro - Страница 14

Selena led him deep into the house, where they’d be surrounded by silence instead of curious stares. The office was at the end of the hall, behind the kitchen. She closed the door. “You can open your eyes now, if you want.”

Selena dropped his hand and stepped back. And for what seemed like an eternity, they stared at each other. There was so much to say, but all she really wanted to do was look at him. Since she’s received the news of his death, a part of her had expected him to show up, walk through the door, back from another secret mission. But everyone told her that was a normal part of grief. What they didn’t know about was the guilt.

Especially with the way they had lost him, with no real closure. Just a box of ashes and belongings. It had seemed so surreal, but now he had walked back into her life and it was just as unsettling. “Whose ashes do we have?”

“Pedro Sandoval. They thought I was him and that Xavier De La Rosa had been killed. Our I.D.s had been switched, and I don’t know why.”

She sat on the edge of the small sofa and pointed to the chair across from her. He sank into the soft leather. She tried to gather her thoughts. That proved to be impossible.

Raising his head, he took in the room, then shot up from the chair. “I don’t want to be in here.”

Searching for the door, he spun until he found it. His chest expanded in short, shallow pants and he pressed his forehead to the solid wood.

Selena jumped up and took his hand. When she opened the door, he shut it again.

“There are people out there.” His voice was raw.

“It’s okay. We’ll go across the hall. No one will see us.” He nodded, clinging to her fingers.

As her bare feet hit the wood floors, she mentally slapped herself for bringing him into one of the worst places for his memories. She wondered if he remembered clearly what had transpired in this office, or if he merely got a bad feeling being in here. His old room was close by, but it was covered in his nieces’ love for pink and horses.

She led him into the girls’ bedroom. “This is better, right?”

He dropped her hand and flexed his fingers. “Great, now you think I’m a complete freak.”

She couldn’t stop a giggle. “You could always find humor at your quirks. This is your old room. Now Belle’s girls share it.”

He sat on the edge of one of the twin beds, looking a little out of place on the old-fashioned quilt with its blocks of bright pink and purple.

“So my quirks aren’t new. Not sure how I feel about that.” His eyes turned darker. “Why did that room upset me?”

“Sorry about that.” Selena moved the wicker chair from the small white desk closer to the bed. To him. “Did you remember the room?” A catch in her voice warned her she was barely holding on.

He shook his head. “There were shadows reaching for me, pulling me under. A major anxiety attack was hovering, waiting to hijack me.” He lowered his head and massaged his temples. “This room doesn’t do that. All the pink and purple scares the shadows.” He looked up and the crooked grin that melted her heart every single time emerged. That smile had gotten him out of trouble more times than she could count.

Her throat constricted, and she pressed her lips together to stop the sob. She didn’t think she’d ever see that smile again.

“I think it’s okay if we’re confused and overwhelmed.”

He scoffed. “That might be an understatement. What was that room?”

“Your father’s office. You always hated that room and refused to go in it.”

Shaking his head, he pinched the bridge of his nose. “It was like dark clouds were trying to swallow me in there. I couldn’t breathe. Memories were fighting against my own brain.”

She grimaced. “Sorry. I imagine some of his worst punishments happened in there.”

He jerked his head up and sat straight, on high alert. Unspoken horrors flooded his gaze. “My father. Where is he?”

The heaviness of something close to hatred crept into the room. Her skin crawled.

She felt the need to hold him and went to him, taking one hand in both of hers. She savored the feel of his warmth. “I’m sorry.” She bit her lips. There was so much to tell him. “He’s dead. He died six months ago.”

His eyes narrowed, shifting between green and gray. He tilted his chin to the ceiling as if looking for answers. “I should feel something, right? Is it wrong that I’m not upset?” Confusion clouded those beautiful eyes. He shook his head. “How?”

“Damian found him on the back five hundred when his horse came in without a rider. Basically, he drank himself to death.”

For a while, the room was shrouded in silence. Selena’s hand stayed on his forearm. She just wanted to stay here, not push or pull him. Xavier was alive and well. There were so many problems lingering over them, but for now she wanted to forget everything and absorb this marvel of him sitting next to her.

She wanted to live here, in this peace. The man that had held her hand as she grew into a woman was home. Even if everything was different now, she wanted to hold off from reality as long as possible and just be in this bigger-than-life moment.

A sound on the other side of the door jarred her. Xavier shifted so that he was between the door and Selena.

It eased open and Belle stepped through. She moved to the end of the bed, her fingers interlocked in front of her. “Is it okay if I sit next to you? Please?”

The corner of his mouth twitched. “I don’t remember you ever asking permission for anything before.”

Selena scooted back, dropped contact with him. How could he know so much about his family but not her? “You remember that?”

“It was a guess.” He shrugged, then reached out and took Belle’s hand, stopping her from moving away from him. “Sorry. Yes, please sit next to me.”

The bed squeaked slightly as her weight came down next to him. Her hands found his, twining their fingers together.

Belle stared at him as if she still couldn’t believe he was here, sitting with them. Selena totally understood that.

She glanced at Selena. “We went ahead and cleaned up. I thought y’all might want a little time to yourselves.” Her gaze went back to Xavier. “All of the guests have gone home. My girls went with—” Belle shot a questioning look at Selena.

Frantically, she shook her head. Oh, no, she hadn’t told him about the triplets. She hoped Belle would get the message. Telling him about the boys was too much tonight.

“Your girls…” Xavier pinched the top of his nose. “Cassie and Lucy?”

Eyes wide, Belle nodded. Raising her hand to touch his cheek, she smiled. “You remember the girls?”

“Just now, when you mentioned them, their names came to me. I was there when they were born.”

“You were my birth coach. You and Selena.”

How did he know their names but had forgotten hers? Selena bit her lip. Now was not the time to cry, not here in front of them.

“So we were raised together? What about your parents? How—” His words just stopped. He closed his eyes.

“My mother is your aunt. She dumped Elijah and me here when we got in the way. No clue about our fathers. But it doesn’t matter. We’ve always had each other’s…” she bit her lip. “And now your back.”

Xavier wrapped an arm around her and pressed his forehead to hers. “You were the only thing I remembered from my past.”

“They told us that the company you were traveling with was ambushed. Everyone was killed when your vehicle took a direct hit and exploded. So how are you here?” Belle now had both of her hands wrapped around his left one, as if she was afraid he would disappear again if she let go.

Horror filled Selena’s brain. Her voice cracked several times as the words came out, one by one. “Should we have come looking for you?”

“No. It wouldn’t have made a difference.” Xavier tilted his head back. “The only information I have on the timeline of events is the version the authorities gave me, but it still feels like it all happened to someone else.”

She could tell he didn’t want to talk about it. The strain of stringing the words together took so much from him. She stood and was going to suggest they stop for the night and get some rest, but he spoke.

“At first my brain was a complete blank. When I woke up, I was a hostage in a guerrilla camp.”

Belle’s fingers tightened around his.

Selena took his other hand in hers. The calloused skin over strong fingers was so familiar. It was as if he had never been gone.

“You’ve been a hostage for the last two years,” Belle whispered.

Selena could hear the harsh emotion in Belle’s voice.

He took his hand out of hers and tucked a loose strand of hair behind Belle’s ear. “My memories had been confused. I thought they were lying when the authorities told me you were my cousin.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “We were raised together? We survived my father?”

Belle’s breath caught, as if she was holding back a cry. She nodded. “And you survived Colombia.”

He cut his gaze across the room, where several family pictures were thumbtacked to the wall. “Elijah’s your brother. Damian’s my younger brother. Is there anyone else?”

Selena could tell that Belle was too emotional to talk, so she took over. “There’s a much younger sister, Gabby. But you haven’t seen or heard from her in years.”

With a deep scowl on his face, he leaned back.

Selena reached out a hand and rested it on his arm. “We have time for this later,” she said with a catch in her throat.

The boys. She needed to tell him about their sons. But that wasn’t news she could just drop now. Oh, by the way, you have triplets.

“Selena, I’m so sorry—”

“Shh. We’ll talk later.”

Since the moment she saw him, her insides had been numb. What if she was dreaming? People didn’t return from the dead, not in real life. But the scars on his face and the gauntness were too real. How much weight had he lost?

The haunted shadows in his eyes were the worst thing. He was struggling to remember her.

She gave him space, but her hand rubbed his arm. “It’s okay. You don’t have to—”

His hand covered hers. Desperation haunted his Spanish-moss eyes.

“I had flashes and images of things that I didn’t understand.”

He had always been too proud to beg, but he seemed to be on the cusp of falling to his knees and crying.

“It’s okay,” she whispered. “You don’t have to understand tonight.” She stroked his hair. “I think this has been a little too much for all of us. You need rest. There are a million questions, but right now I can’t organize my thoughts, so I can’t imagine what you’re going through.”

She pushed his hair back from his temple. “When was the last time you ate?”

“I’m sure it hasn’t been that long. I don’t reme—”

She gave him a look that stopped his words. “If you don’t remember, then it’s been too long, right? You have something for pain?”

Belle patted his hand. “When I get a headache, a dark room and an ice pack work wonders.”

“An ice pack and no light or sound would be great right now.” He kept his eyes closed.

“You’re home, now you need sleep. We’ll talk in the morning.” Selena stood and stepped back. “Do you have meds?”

He nodded. “In my backpack. I think I dropped it by the car.”

Belle went to the door. “Cantu brought it in. I’ll get it for you. I’ll get you something to eat, too. Do you need anything else?”

“Just a dark room.”

“You might not recognize it with all the pink, but this was your old room. It’s Cassie’s and Lucy’s now.”

He moved to stand. “I’m not going to take their—”

“Stop. They’re at a sleepover tonight.” Belle opened the door. “Tomorrow you’ll go home with Selena, but for tonight let me take care of you. I’ll fix all your favorite breakfast foods before sending you home with your wife.”

Selena forced her lungs to work. Of course, everyone would assume he’d go home with her. That was his house. She rubbed her temples. There had to be another solution.

Belle firmly shut the door behind her, unaware of the seed of panic she had planted in Selena’s mind.

“Does anyone ever win an argument with her?” he asked.

Selena snorted and stood. “Nope. Tomorrow will be time enough to plan out where you’ll stay.” She had until morning to come up with a legit reason he couldn’t come home with his wife. No one knew that their marriage had been over.

“I didn’t come back for people to take care of me.” Low and gravelly, his voice turned her spine to mush. She straightened.

“You can’t drive. You can’t see, and you can’t speak some of the time. Living on your own is not an option right now. And where would you get the money?”

He growled. Actually growled at her.

“I know you don’t remember our house or me, but there had been a garage added and you converted it into a man cave. It’s right next to the house. You can stay there. Xavier, I’m sorry but—”

“Let’s make an agreement not to apologize every time we speak the truth, or the word sorry is going to get repetitive and obnoxious.” He didn’t look very happy. “I have money in an account. It’ll take care of any needs I have.” His back was straight, his jaw set in a very familiar hard line.

No doubt about it, his pride was still intact.

She wanted to ask him when they started keeping secret accounts. He wouldn’t remember anyway.

He sighed. “I hate this.”

“We’re family, and family takes care of each other. We’ll work it out tomorrow.” Maybe another solution would come in the light of day. She wasn’t sure having him back in her space would be good for any of them.

He rubbed his head again.

“Belle is bringing your meds and some food. Do you want me to turn off the light?”

Nodding, he kept his eyes closed.

After plunging the room into darkness, she turned and rushed out the door. As soon as it closed, she pressed her back to the wall and slid to the floor in the hallway.

Selena wrapped her arms around her middle. The emotions she had been holding in erupted. Her husband had returned from the dead and was home. They’d been granted this incredible, life-altering gift.

But where did that leave them now? Their marriage had fallen apart before he left. It had been over, but with the news of his death she had decided not to follow through with the divorce. She didn’t even know where the papers were now.

There had been no point to mess with everyone’s memories of him.

She hadn’t talked to anyone about their problem. No one knew. Her husband didn’t even know.

When they’d gotten married, he’d told her that he would love her forever and that nothing would ever separate them. He’d vowed back then that, even if he lost everything, she would be the one thing he clung to. Apparently, forever had a time limit.

The day he left for the job, the anger had consumed her. In a rage she had gone online and had found the website to start legally ending their marriage. She had wanted the paper in hand when he walked through the door to prove how serious she was about ending his secret work. But he had never walked back into their house.

So much in her life had changed. She had to tell him about the triplets. That would be a shock, even if he had all his memories.

Before he left for the last job, they had gotten another negative result on a pregnancy test. As he had held her, he’d said it might be for the best.

At the time, that had torn her heart in two. They had always been on the same page, but she had drawn into herself, had pushed him out. The love that had burned bright had gone out. They had been left with nothing but ashes.

Now she wasn’t even a part of his memories.

She would never forget staring at the door after he left, waiting for him to come back. He hadn’t returned. Until now. But it wasn’t real. He hadn’t returned to her.

There would be no starting over.

She wouldn’t think of the past. Instead she chose to focus on the boys. They had their father now.

“Selena.” Belle stood in front of her, a duffel bag over her shoulder and a plate of food in one hand. She crouched down. “Sweetheart, are you okay?”

She nodded.

“So, you didn’t tell him about the boys?”

Her throat was too tight to speak. She just shook her head.

Dropping the bag and setting the food aside, Belle pulled Selena into her arms. She shifted, leaning against the wall. “We have him back. It’s something straight out of a movie. But we’re De La Rosas, and we don’t do anything the easy way. Not even death or reunions. And, man, his timing. ‘Home for Christmas’ has a whole new meaning.”

Selena couldn’t help but snort against the denim jacket Belle had put on over her formal gown. “It’s the most amazing gift ever. Belle, I spent the last so much time telling myself that he was gone forever. Now I’m so afraid I’ll wake up and find out this is some twisted dream.”

“I know. But for Xavier this has to be a nightmare. We don’t have a clue what he’s been through.”

“I should have told him about the boys.”

Belle shook her head. “No. It would have been too much. In the morning, after we’ve all had time to process, we’ll talk. This is better. This way, as soon as you tell him, he can meet them. There’s no point in telling him now. He already has too much information to process. You did the right thing.”

Or had it just been the easier thing? She wriggled out of Belle’s embrace and stood. “Let me take this to him. Then I want to go check on my boys.”

Understanding and warmth radiated from Belle’s deep gray-green eyes, so much like Xavier’s. A sob escaped her throat,

She needed to hold her babies and snuggle them, to feel their little heartbeats. They didn’t even know their world had just changed.

Four years ago, she’d been too angry at God to trust him with her marriage or anything else. Not leaning on Him had led her to push her husband away. This time she had to stay in her faith. She had to trust God.

One thing was for sure. She couldn’t trust her heart or the stranger that the world saw as her husband.