Читать книгу The Texan's Surprise Return - Jolene Navarro - Страница 15

Yellows and soft pinks marbled the sky as the sun rose from the watery horizon. Selena glanced into the rearview mirror, checking on the boys out of habit. In the far backseat of the Suburban, her nieces were singing. From the corner of her gaze, she caught her own reflection.

Puffy, bloodshot eyes made it obvious there had been no sleep for her last night. She’d lost track of the hours she and Belle had talked on the phone. Every time one of them had said good-night and promised to go to sleep, the other would call again.

Her phone vibrated and she cast a glance at her father seated beside her. “Dad, would you check that and see if it’s someone I need to talk to?” The phone had not stopped for the last few hours. Word had spread that her husband was back from the dead. She wanted to turn it off, but with so much going on, she didn’t dare.

Riff glanced at the screen, then shook his head. “Not anyone you need to talk to right now.”

“Tía Selena!” Cassie, Belle’s older daughter, yelled from the third-row seat. “Lucy and Rosie won’t stop singing. I have a headache.”

Elijah’s six-year-old daughter’s eyes went wide, and she clamped her lips closed. Lucy just sang louder.

“Lucy, I love your voice, but it is a bit early. Be nice and wait to sing once we’re out of the car.”

The tight pressure pushed harder at the front of her skull.

Her father stared at his coffee without taking a sip. “This has to be a crazy dream. How is Xavier back from the dead? Are you sure it’s him?” Even though his voice was low, he twisted and looked at the boys, worry on his face. “Oh, I shouldn’t say stuff in front of them, but I can’t even start…” His voice dropped, and tears hovered in his eyes again.

Riff had loved Xavier from the moment she had introduced them. Other fathers cleaned guns and threatened new boyfriends, but not her dad. No. One look at the young Xavier and her father had wrapped his arms around him and encouraged her to keep that boy around. Then he’d taken off on another tour.

When they’d received word of Xavier’s death, her father had come home and hadn’t left. She kept expecting to wake up one morning to find him at the door with his bags packed, but for the first time in her life, he had stayed.

Sawyer, Finn and Oliver chattered in the nonsensical language they all seemed to understand completely. Even Oliver, usually the quiet one, was full of energy and giggles today.

It was as if they knew something very important was about to happen.

How was Xavier going to react? Fingers tightening around the leather of the steering wheel, Selena focused back on the road.

She was taking the boys to the ranch to meet—Her stomach heaved, and she couldn’t finish the thought. She glanced in the rearview mirror to check the boys. “They don’t even understand what it means that their father is dead. Was dead.” She blew out a puff of air. “Belle’s going to watch them while we talk. The baby goats are in the barn, so they’ll keep the children occupied. I thought you’d want to see him before he meets the boys.”

Her father shook his head. “What if he doesn’t remember me? I’m not sure. Meeting the boys is more important.” Lifting his mug, Riff sipped at the hot liquid.

Selena turned west toward the ranch, the sunrise now in her rearview mirror. There was a new day ahead of them. One that she never saw coming.

Her three nieces had fallen quiet in the back, but her boys chattered in the second row. Her father remained silent for the fifteen-minute ride out of town to the ranch. With each inch, Selena’s nerves pulled tighter. Xavier was alive. Her babies had their father. Just in time for Christmas. But to her he was a stranger.

Arriving at the house, Selena pulled up to the front porch. Before she cut the engine, Belle rushed out the door.

Glancing to the back of the Suburban, she spoke in a low voice. “I’ll take them out to play with the goats while y’all talk. I’ve been with him all morning. Damian stopped by, but he just left. We decided to wait and tell Elijah on the last day of their honeymoon. This is just so mind-blowing.”

Her words whizzed by like bullets as she got Finn out of his car seat.

Selena unbuckled Sawyer as Belle continued. “When you’re ready for them, just come on out and they can meet. We haven’t told him. He seems a bit overwhelmed. We all do, right?”

Belle bit her lip and wiped her eyes with her free hand, the other balancing Finn on her hip. With a big smile on her face she greeted the kids. “Good morning, gang! Everyone have a good night?”

The kids all greeted her with varying degrees of cheerfulness.

Her father moved around to Selena’s side. Oliver hung over his shoulder, giggling. Riff kissed her on the cheek. “I don’t think I’m ready to see blankness in his eyes if he doesn’t remember me. I’ll help with the boys for now.” He took Sawyer from her and tossed him over his other shoulder. He kissed her cheek. “I’ll give Belle time to tell the girls.”

With her father and Belle herding the kids to the barn, Selena headed toward the door. All the hurt and anger that was bubbling up needed to go away. She didn’t have time for a meltdown.

Xavier was back from the dead. He was here. He had been her best friend for so many years. Then they had pushed each other away. Maybe she did more of the shoving. Now she had no idea who he was or what he wanted from her.

A million emotions bombarded her. Simple, clear thought was impossible.

Breakfast smells swamped the house. Bacon, toast, cinnamon and coffee filled the air. Belle’s go-to when she was stressed was to feed people, so Selena wasn’t surprised to see the table piled with food.

Xavier sat with his back to her. His broad shoulders didn’t carry the muscles he’d left with three years ago. He’d always been solid and strong.

The healthy, well-muscled husband who had walked out her door for another adventure was gone. It was hard for her brain to recognize this man as the one she’d been told was dead.

When he’d left that last time, she thought her heart couldn’t be more broken. But then the news of his death had arrived, and she’d discovered what broken really meant.

Guilt made grieving harder. The only thing that had pulled her off the floor had been the three little wonders growing inside her at the time. Wonders who carried the pieces of her shattered heart.

He shifted and turned. Those once marvelous gray-green eyes that all the De La Rosas possessed were faded and flat.

Something wet hit her shirt and she looked down. Tears again? Taking a deep breath, she wiped her eyes and gave the solemn man at the breakfast table a smile.

Solemn. That was a word she would never have used for the Xavier who went to Colombia. He had been in continuous motion, a gleam in his brilliant eyes.

The gleam had disappeared a year before he left, but, too wrapped in her own insecurities, she hadn’t noticed the changes in him. They had been a mess. Her forehead knitted in a frown.

With a deep breath, she relaxed her face and gave him her best smile. Well, she tried, but a tight and forced one was the best she could manage for now.

He stood and wiped his hands on his jeans. “Morning, Selena.”

“Good morning.” So ordinary and normal. The giggles started, and she couldn’t stop.

Without a single word, he lifted one eyebrow, silently asking what her problem was.

Every time she tried to speak, the uncontrollable giggles started again. Xavier stared at her like she’d lost her mind. Which was a good possibility. “I’m sorry. I’m just…” And there it went again. “When I’m nervous I…”

He nodded like he understood, but the doubt in his eyes told her he didn’t know her the way he used to. With his right hand, he made a gesture to the table. “Belle’s made a variety of breakfast foods.”

He was polite enough to ignore the ridiculous giggling. “Plus, there’s a platter full of what she assures me are my favorites. She and Damian already ate, and there’s still enough to feed an army.”

She nodded. “My father is here to see you. Do you remember him?”

He shook his head. “I don’t think so but seeing him might help. Sorry.”

How many wonderful memories were gone?

“So, Damian came down from his hideout to talk with you?” she asked him. “Did seeing him help with the memories?”

His expression shut down. “Some, but not like I hoped.”

Remember me. Please. Oh, no. The tears were starting again.

Concern colored his every word. “I’m sorry. I want to help you, but I don’t know how.”

That was the same problem they had before he left. “No, I’m good. I should be the one offering help to you.” She straightened her spine. “No more crying or irrational giggling.”

Doubt furrowed his brow.

“I’m okay. I promise,” she assured him.

Under his steady gaze, she repeated the words. “I promise.”

Now less than ten feet apart, they stared at each other, neither talking. Last night had seemed like a dream, but today, even with all the blinds covering the large kitchen window, she could see him as if he were illuminated. The gauntness, the lines and the scars testified to the hardships he’d endured since he’d walked out her door.

She took a step closer. Should she just blurt out that he had three sons? No. “Are you feeling better this morning?”

With a stiff smile, he nodded. She didn’t believe him.

All night she had thought about him being alone, hungry and cold during those years, not knowing if anyone was coming for him. “You were the only one to survive the attack?”

“I’m the only one they took from our caravan, as far as I know. I have zero recall for the actual event or anything leading up to it.” He fidgeted with his hands, then shifted his weight and gripped the back of the chair. “Can we sit down?”

“Oh, yes.” She went around him to the opposite side of the farm table and sat in a chair. “Sorry. You must be exhausted. You said your sight was damaged. Does it affect your balance?”

Again, a simple nod. His gaze traveled the room, covering every area but where she sat. During the early years, talking had been so easy for them. Then the miscarriage created a shift in their relationship, and each negative pregnancy test had driven them farther apart. Looking back, she knew she had been as much to blame as he was.

Avoiding each other, they’d become strangers living in the same house, but that wasn’t even close to the feeling she had now. Now they were true strangers.

They were also parents.

She studied his face, tossing a few words around. Hey, guess what? You know that whole can’t-have-kids thing? Well, our prayers were answered and now you have three sons. Welcome home to a wife you don’t remember and babies you didn’t know existed.

It would be nice if they could have one normal conversation first. How exactly did one have normal conversations with someone who had been dead for the last two years? She didn’t know, so she asked the first question that came to mind. “So, what do you remember?”

After what seemed like an hour of silence, Xavier cleared his throat. “I can’t remember anything leading up to the attack in Colombia. Before that? Everything is fuzzy, mixed with the false memories they beat into me when they thought I was Pedro Sandoval. I don’t know which are real and which are made up.” He finally looked at her, his eyes desperate as his gaze searched her face.

“I do remember more about you now,” he said. “Last night I had a memory about you stealing my fries, but I didn’t have the words to tell you.”

“Really?” The nervous giggle took over again. She covered her mouth.

“It’s all right. I like your giggle. I do have a few images of you. But it’s like watching videos of someone else. There are holes. Actually, more like craters.” He reached across the table, then moved his hand back.

Little touches used to come so easily and naturally for them. Now she didn’t know what to do. Last night was surreal, like a twisted painting out of a dream. Everything in her responded to him. But they were strangers.

She didn’t trust that he was here, within reach. “What else do you remember?” She leaned closer.

He grinned. “I had a dream last night. You were wearing a long dress the color of sunset. But not dancing with me.” He narrowed his eyes. “By the end of the evening you were mine.” He looked down as if searching for something he’d lost.

“That was homecoming our junior year. When you finally got the nerve to ask me out.” She leaned forward. “Do you remember our senior prom?”

He hesitated and twisted his lips to the left. “No.”

She bit back the disappointment. None of this was going to be easy. Not wanting him to feel guilty, she kept her gaze on the oversize cinnamon roll she had put on her plate. The weight of their silence pushed her shoulders down.

“Tell me,” he said. “Maybe it will help.”

“We had our first fight on the way to senior prom. You told me you were enlisting. I wanted you to enroll in the local community college with me. Later that night they played one of my favorite oldies, ‘Faithfully.’ You sang it to me in front of everyone.” Then he had promised to never leave her.

He nodded as if he remembered.

“We played it at our wedding.” She sat up. Her heart kicked up a notch. Did he remember?

She waited for more, but he kept his head down and the silence lingered. Disappointment pushed hard on her chest. He didn’t have any of their memories.

“So…” Looking out the window, he avoided eye contact. “What’s the deal with all the Christmas lights?” He finally turned to her with a half grin. “It’s not even Thanksgiving yet.”

“I could have Christmas decorations year-round, but no one lets me.” She tried to laugh as if she had no worries. “With Elijah and Jazz getting remarried, I thought it would be a great time to pull out all the lights and wreaths.” She shrugged. “No Christmas tree or any of that, but the lights. They’re my favorite. It just makes everything glittery and enchanted.”

He nodded and went back to staring at his food, but not eating. Her fingers curled around a glass of orange juice, Selena fought back the urge to reach out and touch him. “It’s okay. You don’t have to say anything.”

“It’s there, somewhere. The first memory I regained was the ranch. After digging I found the location. Nothing fit, so I thought I’d come here and see what I could find out. Belle De La Rosa was the only name I had.”

“And you found all of us.”

“Yeah. Names are coming to me. I remember my nieces. Belle tells me that Elijah has a daughter.”

She bit her lip. Now. Tell him now.

Crossing his forearms on the table, he leaned forward. “It’s your turn to tell me something. What have you been doing while I was gone? A beautiful woman like you had to be dating once you were single.”

For a moment, she froze. “No. No. I was a widow. Not that I had time.” Would this man with the blank stare have cared if she had gone on a date? “Now that you’re here at the ranch, what are your plans?”

“I have a list of specialists for my eyes and brain issues. I’ll find out what’s physical and what might be psychological. It’s gone untreated so long, but the doctors in Colombia say there’s a chance I can regain my sight with therapy. And, now that I’m home, my memory might fully recover, too.”

He rolled his shoulders and dropped his head as if all the words had been too much.

“I don’t remember anything, but I have this feeling there’s a job unfinished in Colombia and I need to complete it as soon as I figure out what it is. I was assigned to protect someone. I don’t know who I was working for. There’s something missing, and I’m going to find out.”

“You never told me anything about your missions. All I knew was you worked for an intense private security company. I didn’t even know you were in Colombia until…” She shrugged. “But everyone in your group was killed.”

He closed his eyes. “It doesn’t stop the fact that I have this driving need to return. There’s something compelling me to finish. I can’t remember what it was, but I can’t rest. I need to heal enough to go back. You don’t know anything at all about my last job?”

Her spine stiffened. “Nothing.” How could he even think of leaving again? Her mouth opened, but then closed again.

“Tell me about your life while I was…away.”

Lifting her head, she made eye contact with her husband, the father of her children. “I’m on the city council now and working with the chamber of commerce to plan a new Christmas event. I run the office for our company, Saltwater Cowboys. Keeping those guys organized is a full-time job. And I help Belle with the paperwork for the ranch.” What she wanted to say was that she was keeping his life together for their boys. “With the death of your father, the ownership of the ranch is shaky. I’m not sure how your returning will affect everything.”

She was making a mess of this.

“Saltwater Cowboys?”

“It’s the business you started with Elijah and a friend Miguel. At first the focus was on charter fishing trips. You added large tourist boats for dolphin watching. They had closed Pier Nineteen, so we bought that property with the goal to restore it. Which we’ve done successfully.” Her throat closed and she bit her lip. The burn in her eyes surprised her. “You’d be so proud of Elijah. It was hard losing you, and I worried about him drinking again, but he’s been so strong. It’s because of him I’ve been able to give most of my time to my sons. Our boys.”

Head tilted, he blinked. “We have kids? That doesn’t sound… I don’t remember anything about us having children.” His eyes darted across her face, as if he was scanning it for information.

“You didn’t know. We made several attempts. When the last one showed a negative result, you decided to take the job in Colombia. A month after you left, I was sick. I thought it was stress. I went in and found out I was pregnant. The first reading had been false. Spotting isn’t unusual.”

“But you said ‘boys.’ As in plural. Twins?”

She shook her head. “Triplets. We have three sons, Sawyer, Finn and Oliver. They’re twenty-two months old. They’ll be two in January. January 19. The last fertility treatment worked.” The horror in his eyes burned her and made her want to cry.

She managed a smile. “You’re a father.”