Читать книгу I Took the Only Path To See You - Jon Fisher - Страница 16

Rather than just wish for more money, some people wish to reach a certain goal in life. That's why so many people dream of becoming A-list movie stars, popular musicians, or famous entrepreneurs. There's nothing wrong with lofty dreams, but what is wrong is thinking that once you reach your goal, you'll achieve happiness.

Read any celebrity news and you'll find plenty of rich, famous people who still aren't happy. The list of popular movie stars and recording artists who died young is tragically long. While some died in accidents, far more died through their own self-destructive behavior, whether through alcohol poisoning, drug overdoses, or outright reckless behavior.

Why do so many celebrities destroy themselves after achieving what they thought would be their greatest dream? Most likely, these celebrities worked their whole lives to achieve fame and success, yet discovered when they finally reached their goals that the happiness they sought for so long had somehow still managed to elude them.

Now what?

Beyond the empty feeling that comes from any disappointment, there's a second problem that comes from striving to reach a goal that you think will bring you happiness. Far too many people make tremendous sacrifices in their lives to reach their dreams, which often means spending less time with friends and family and more time desperately pursuing your dream. When you make that type of trade-off, you've already lost.

Whether you reach your goal or not, living a life without any loved ones will be a lonely existence that can never be replaced with more money to attract fair-weather friends. When you're surrounded by people you barely know with motives that may be highly questionable, all the money and success in the world can't make you feel any less lonely.

If you tie your happiness to becoming a movie star, recording a hit album, or starting a million-dollar company, you'll be highly motivated to do whatever it takes to reach that goal. This intense motivation to succeed can tempt you to sacrifice anything and everything to get it. After all, who wouldn't want to be happy? If you can reach your goal, then it should all be worth it if you can be happy, right?

Wrong.

To achieve their dreams at all costs, people often lie, cheat, and steal. If you have to break the law, violate your own principles, or step on others to get what you want, you can never be a success even if you do achieve your goal.

When you define happiness as a destination to reach, you may justify doing anything to get there. This can't help but create enemies and destroy personal and professional relationships along the way and then what? Reaching a destination, like buying a shiny new toy, may give you a feeling of momentarily happiness, but you must always deal with the consequences afterward.

Ultimately, whether you believe happiness lies in reaching a destination or owning a particular object, you'll be disappointed. Reaching a goal or buying a certain item might make you happy for an instant. Yet after that momentary feeling of euphoria wears off (and it will), you'll risk thinking you just need to get more of the same thing to be happy again, which can start this vicious cycle of no-return all over again.

This is no way to live.

Life can be fun with or without money, success, or fame. I consider myself successful not because of my achievements, who I know, or what I've done, but because I know the two keys to being happy.

First, happiness is never static. That's why you can never achieve lasting happiness just by reaching a goal or buying something you like. Think about a happy moment in your past and you'll realize that happiness is always temporary and fleeting. Happiness isn’t an object you can possess but an action you experience. You can never find happiness; you can only create it through action. The moment you stop, happiness disappears.

The type of action that creates happiness is different for everybody because it depends on what you're most passionate about. Author Stephen King spent years working as a janitor, gas pump attendant, and worker in an industrial laundry, but he continued to write because that's what made him happy and gave him hope for a better future. Without his writing to make him happy, Stephen King's early life would have felt desperate and bleak.

Richard Branson got his start publishing a magazine. Later, he used this magazine to advertise record albums that he sold by mail-order. That led to opening his own record store and when that made money, Richard Branson launched the record label Virgin Records, which signed bands that other record labels were reluctant to sign, such as multi-instrumentalist Mike Oldfield (whose debut album, Tubular Bells, became a best seller when it was used as the soundtrack for the horror movie classic The Exorcist). Branson later signed the controversial band known as the Sex Pistols.

From the money he made with his record label, Branson created his own airline, Virgin Atlantic, and later his own space tourism company, Virgin Galactic. His passion isn't just limited to his initial success in the music industry, but with starting and running businesses that challenge the status quo. No matter how much money he has, Richard Branson simply has fun creating and running businesses. All his money just gives him the freedom to pursue another dream, but even if he didn't have that money, he would still enjoy the activity in starting and running another business even if it's as simple as running a record store.

Many people falsely believe that happiness is something they hope to reach in the distant future. That type of thinking means you can never be happy until the future arrives. If that future never comes, then you risk never being happy.

In contrast, once you find what you like doing, you can start doing it now and be happy today and every day, whether you reach a distant goal in the future or not.

Which way would you rather live?

Second, happiness can only exist through action and relationships. Action means doing anything you're most passionate about. Relationships mean you can only create happiness between yourself and others.

While some people can be perfectly happy in solitude, the majority of people are happiest with friends and loved ones. A 2005 survey from the Pew Research Center found that across different countries and ethnic groups, people reported greater happiness from their marriage than from their careers, community, or wealth. Forty-three percent of married respondents reported that they were “very happy” compared to just 24 percent of single people.

Of course everyone is different, but think about the happiest moments from your own life. Chances are good they involve shared experiences with others such as celebrating a graduation, going on a first date with the person who would eventually become your spouse, or just a quiet moment talking with a friend to share your hopes and dreams.

The reason why all the money, fame, and power in the world can never make you happy is because life is always better when you can share it with others. So not only does happiness require actively doing what you enjoy, but it also involves a shared experienced that can be as simple as picking out a puppy from the animal shelter or teaching a child how to ride a bicycle for the first time.

Ever wonder why some poor people are happy and some fabulously wealthy people are miserable? It has nothing to do with money or possessions but everything to do with doing what you love and spending time with the people you care about the most.

That's how you create happiness.

 Happiness exists when you're following your greatest passion.

 Happiness occurs when you share a memorable moment with someone you care about.

The moment you stop pursuing your passion or separate from the people you care about the most, happiness goes away as well. The only way you can bring back happiness is to pursue your passion and/or share special moments with your loved ones. It's really that simple.