Читать книгу Classic After-Dinner Sports Tales - Jonathan Rice - Страница 12

What can one say about Bob The Cat that he has not said already? He is not only the old Wilsonians greatest ever 6th-XI goalkeeper, but also one of Britain’s greatest after-dinner speakers. He was for many years a Trustee of the Lord’s Taverners.

Last October, I sat in the dressing room before our first round AFA 6th-XI cup-tie. I was resting in between tying up my left boot and my right boot – the doctor has told me not to lace up one immediately after the other – when a young player in the corner piped up,

‘Pardon me, Cat, but is this the first round?’ I bit my lip. A tear rolled down my cheek. I tried to catch it, but missed.

‘Yes son,’ I said sadly. ‘We only play in first rounds.’

In my first game of the 2003 season for Bells Yew Green away to Outwood, it might be fair to say that my fielding was not yet into its usual mid-season sharpness. Our captain,

Mark Beard, who as club treasurer is not generally noted for his humour, said to me, ‘I’ve found out how to hide you in the field.’

‘How?’ I enquired.

‘I’m bringing you on to bowl.’