Читать книгу Josephine Cox Sunday Times Bestsellers Collection - Josephine Cox - Страница 25

AFTER THEIR PARENTS’ euphoria, the Davidson children reacted to Leonard’s offer in different ways.

‘I’d rather stay here,’ Susie said, in confrontational mood.

‘Look, love, I’ve already told you. We can’t stay here,’ Barney explained for the third time. ‘Mr Maitland has been forced to sell this farm to help pay off his grandfather’s debts.’

‘Listen to your father, sweetheart.’ Vicky despaired. ‘Whether we like it or not, this farm is being sold. It isn’t Mr Maitland’s fault, and it isn’t our fault. It’s the circumstances we all find ourselves in. We would all love to stay here, but we can’t, and so we have to accept things the way they are.’

Unlike Susie, Thomas was thrilled at the news. ‘You’re being right selfish,’ he told his younger sister now. ‘The fact is, we’re left with three choices. Either we take work in the Liverpool area, or we move away and hope something turns up that will suit everybody. Or we accept Mr Maitland’s generous offer and be thankful. Think about it, Susie! AMERICA! There are many girls your age who would give their right arm for the chance we’ve been offered!’

‘They can have it then!’ Kicking the rug at her feet, Susie folded her arms and slumped into a chair. ‘Because I don’t want to go.’

Gesturing for the others to leave the room, Barney went and sat on the arm of her chair. ‘What is it that worries you?’ he asked gently. ‘Is it because you’ll be leaving your friends behind? If it is, you can always keep in touch. You can write to each other and later, maybe, they can even come and visit.’

‘How can they?’ Now the tears were falling. ‘America is the other side of the world!’

‘Naw … you’ve got that wrong, pet.’ Sliding his arm round her shoulders, he drew her close. ‘I won’t deny it is a long way,’ he coaxed, ‘but it’s not the end of the world. Look at Mr Maitland – he’s gone over and come back twice this year, hasn’t he?’

Susie looked up, her eyes swimming with tears. ‘I’m frightened, Daddy.’

It cut him to the quick to see his daughter upset like this. ‘There’s nothing to be frightened of.’ Barney put his hand under her chin and raised her face to his. ‘Do you think me and your mammy would want to take you, if we thought you’d come to any harm?’ He smiled his reassurance. ‘Trust me, we’ll take good care of you, my darling.’

Kissing the top of her head, he drew her closer. ‘When you’ve seen the ships going away, how many times have you said to me that you’d love to be on one of them? Well, now you can!’

Looking up, she gave a shaky smile. ‘I didn’t think it could ever really happen.’

‘Well, now it has. Look, we can sail off to America and try to make a new life, and if it doesn’t work out, Mr Maitland has promised to pay our fare back. But we have to give it a chance, because everybody is so excited to be going, and like Thomas said, it’s a wonderful, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. And later, when we’ve saved enough money, we can come back for a visit. Would you like that?’ With the tip of his finger he wiped away the tears that quivered on the end of her lashes.

‘I think so.’ At last a brighter smile. ‘Yes, Daddy, I’d like that.’

Barney nodded. ‘Then that’s what we’ll aim for – saving enough money between us to come back for a visit.’

‘Do you promise?’

He hesitated, that small grain of dark instinct holding him back. ‘I promise I’ll do my very best.’

‘So will I,’ she said eagerly. ‘You said Mr Maitland told you I could get work with one of the hat-shops, and they would teach me the trade?’

‘Yes. That’s what the man said all right.’ Barney was relieved to see a glimmer of enthusiasm. It would break his heart to force her into something that made her desperately unhappy.

‘Maybe one day, I might have my own shop in Boston?’

Barney laughed. ‘You might at that,’ he said. ‘Work hard and save, and who knows what the future holds?’ For all of us, he added silently. He only hoped his health would hold up through the trials and thrills that lay ahead.

Having placed herself where they could not see her, Vicky watched from the doorway. Deeply moved by Barney’s understanding of his daughter’s fears she had wiped away a tear or two, but now that she could see how Barney had somehow managed to dispel Susie’s fears, she crept quietly away.

Once Susie had run off to tell Vicky how she meant to have her own shop in America, Barney let himself slide down into the chair, where for a time he sat, lost in thought and deeply disturbed. Giving a long, shivering sigh, he instinctively placed a hand on his heart. ‘No, Susie lass, none of us knows what the future holds.’ A dark premonition rippled through his soul.

He was startled when his wife came rushing in. ‘Barney Davidson, you could charm the birds right out of the trees!’ She threw herself into his lap. ‘One minute she’s refusing to go, and now she’s full of dreams. Somehow she’s got the idea into her head that she’s going to own a string of shops, right across America!’

Barney smiled contentedly. ‘Let her dream,’ he murmured, drawing her into his embrace. ‘If we don’t have dreams, how can they ever come true?’ His own dream had come true, the day he met this darling woman.

Content to be silent, husband and wife sat awhile together. It was a moment of quietness in a love that was both deep and fulfilling; one of those rare and precious moments that each of them would cherish to the end of their days.

The following morning, when Lucy was told the news by an emotional Vicky, she didn’t know whether to be thrilled for the Davidsons, or sad for herself. ‘It’s a wonderful opportunity,’ she said, suppressing her fears. ‘You must go, Vicky, you and Barney, and the family.’

While Vicky was explaining how it all came about, Barney strolled into the kitchen. ‘Hello, Lucy, love. Vicky’s told you then?’ He had been concerned as to how the young woman might take the news.

She ran to hug him. ‘I’m so excited for you!’ she told him sincerely. ‘But I’ll miss you all so very much.’ The tears were close but she would not let them be seen, not now, not when these good folk were so looking forward to their new adventure. ‘Whatever will I do without you?’ At the back of her mind she couldn’t help but wonder where she and her boy might live.

‘We’ll miss you too – dreadfully.’ Vicky looked at Jamie and her lips quivered. She hugged him, then opened the kitchen cupboard so he could sit and play with the saucepans and wooden spoons.

‘Well, I’ll tell you one thing, Lucy girl.’ Barney sat her down. ‘You won’t need to worry about being out of work. I’ve just come from giving our answer to the boss, and I’ve spoken to him about you. He says you’ll have work with whoever buys the farm, he’ll make sure it’s written into the contract of sale.’

It was a great relief to Lucy. ‘Oh Barney, how can I ever thank you?’ She felt quite weak at the knees. Without a job and a home, she and Jamie would be in dire straits.

‘Don’t thank me,’ he protested. ‘Thank the boss, and thank the fella who’s buying the farm. It’s good news all round. The Land Agent has already been out this morning to tell him he’s got a buyer, agent who’s been looking for such a property as this, and because he means to grab this place afore anybody else, and prevent it being split up and sold off he’s offered fifty guineas above the asking price.’

Vicky was amazed. ‘Good Lord! And did Mr Maitland accept it?’

‘He most certainly did.’ He gave an aside wink to Vicky, who was thrilled to hear Lucy would not be put out of work. ‘What’s more …’ Barney’s smile grew wider as he looked at the two women in turn, ‘… Mr Maitland says Lucy can stay in the cottage,’ he told them, ‘ … it’s because he’s got such a good price, and I’m to tell you straight off, he’s not selling the cottage with the farm. Because it’s such a tiny place with so much that needs doing, it has little or no value so neither Mr Maitland nor the agent could see it as making any difference to the value of the overall holding. It’s all been agreed.’

Unable to keep the news any longer, he blurted it out with a shout of triumph. ‘It’s yours, Lucy girl!’ he laughed with the sheer joy of it.

He drew in a long breath and blowing it out through his nose he took hold of Lucy by the shoulders, his voice lower, more intimate. ‘Now then, what have you to say to that, eh?’

For the moment Lucy could say nothing because not only had the news rocked her to the roots, but she was completely lost for words.

Instead she stared at Barney with big shocked eyes, her lips quivering, and her heart pounding ten to the dozen. ‘I can’t … believe it,’ the words stumbled out. ‘The cottage … is it really mine?’

‘That’s right, Lucy girl … it’s yours. Mr Maitland says to tell you he’ll be along to see you shortly, and that you’re not to worry, because everything will be done legal.’

‘This calls for another celebration!’ Rushing to the cupboard, Vicky took out the best glasses and a bottle of her homemade wine.

Barney raised his glass. ‘To our new life – and to Lucy, our dear friend who, along with young Jamie here, will never again be without a roof over her head.’

It was the most bitter-sweet emotion for Lucy. She found it hard to believe her own good fortune, but while she was thanking the Good Lord, she paused again to think of how it would be when Barney and his family were gone.

Even in the midst of her joy, the thought of losing them forever was a sad, lonely thought.

‘Are you all right, Barney?’ It was two o’clock in the morning when Vicky woke to find herself alone in bed. Half-asleep and bleary-eyed she rolled sideways, looking towards the window, where Barney’s shadowy figure was just visible in the dim light. ‘What’s wrong, pet, can’t you sleep?’

Still breathless from the chest pains which had woken him, Barney sshed her. ‘Go back to sleep, love.’

‘I can’t. Not until you come back into bed.’

In the past weeks, Barney had learned to hide his pain and put on a brave face; it had become like second nature to him. Taking a deep breath, he painted on a smile and managing the few paces to the bed, he climbed in. ‘Now will you go to sleep?’ He wriggled down the bed, avoiding touching her, having stood at the window for some time, he had become chilled.

Instinctively, she turned and wrapped her arm around the girth of his belly. ‘Brrr!’ she shivered. ‘You’re freezing! How long have you been stood there at the window?’

‘Not long,’ he lied. ‘Now go to sleep.’

Worry marbled her voice. ‘Are you all right?’

‘I’m fine.’

‘Are you worried about moving to Boston? Is that what woke you?’

‘No. I think it was a touch of indigestion.’ Before she could protest, he added, ‘I ate a bite from a cooking apple, and you know how sour they are.’

‘You shouldn’t eat them, then!’

‘I know, but they looked so tempting.’

There was a groan. ‘Barney Davidson, will you never learn?’

‘Go to sleep now, Vicky. It’s only three a.m.’

‘And are you really not worried about moving to Boston?’

‘No, why should I be?’

‘No reason. I just wondered, that’s all.’

‘Are you worried, sweetheart? You can tell me if you are.’

There came a sigh. ‘I would tell you if I was worried, but I’m not. To tell you the truth, I’m really excited! Oh, I know there are things and people here that I’ll miss, but who wouldn’t look forward to a brand new start? And like you said, it’s not the end of the world. Oh Barney! It will be such an adventure, and the children are all looking forward to a new life there … even our Susie, thanks to you.’ She gave him a squeeze. ‘You’re such an understanding father, Barney. That little chat you had with her did all the good in the world.’

In that quiet, opportune moment Barney might have confided in her; he might have confessed how he had been suffering such pain of late, and how sometimes he could hardly stand up straight for the cramp in his chest. But when he turned to her, Vicky had rolled over onto her back and was fast asleep.

Barney did not sleep though. Instead he waited a while, then he slipped out of bed again and slumped into the chair, where he remained head in hands and his heart pounding, until the sun peeped over the horizon, then he got quietly back into bed.

Even then he did not sleep, but planned his day. This morning, he had to call in on Adam. He had promised to lend his old pal a helping hand with the tractor he was working on. Afterwards, he would go and see Dr Lucas and tell him his troubles. Who knows? he thought hopefully. It might even turn out that he was worrying about nothing at all.

Finally he slipped into a shallow, unsettled slumber, where he dreamed of ships sailing away and his family always just out of reach, and when he woke with a start, Vicky was already out of bed and dressing. ‘Wake up, Sleepyhead,’ she teased him. ‘It’s time to start the day.’

As she went out of the room, she called over her shoulder, ‘By the time you get downstairs, I’ll have the ham and eggs on your plate ready and waiting.’

As always, Vicky was as good as her word.

Twenty minutes later, the whole family was tucking into one of Vicky’s renowned and substantial cooked breakfasts.

Thankfully, the endless chatter pushed Barney’s worries to the back of his mind; while enjoying a generous helping of Vicky’s speciality, he took a discreet look around the table. There were Ronnie and Thomas, arguing as usual, this time about which one of them might beat the other in a horse-race. ‘You’re even frightened to jump the brook at the narrow end,’ Ronnie tormented his brother, ‘but not me! I’m not afraid to jump my horse over anything.’

‘That’s only because you’ve got the best horse,’ his brother replied. ‘You ride the mare, and she has the heart of a lion. You know how scared of water the stallion is.’

Ronnie sniggered. ‘It’s not the stallion that’s scared, it’s you!’

Thomas put down his knife and fork. ‘Right, little brother! What about a race – across the wide end of the brook and up to the far end of Down Field?’

‘What? Not likely! You’ve got to be out of your mind. Down Field is full of potholes.’

Whereupon Vicky cautioned them, and the subject was dropped.

Barney loved family mealtimes, when everyone sat down together and talked, when laughter and noise and arguments happened, and you felt as though you belonged to something very special.

He watched Vicky forking the two extra ham slices onto Ronnie’s plate and smiled to himself. She was the bedrock of this family. She was his first reason for living.

His gaze wandered to Susie, and his smile became a burst of laughter. ‘What in God’s name is that on your head?’

‘She thinks it’s about to rain,’ Ronnie teased.

‘No!’ Thomas had another idea. ‘She’s worried the ceiling might fall in, that’s what it is.’

Indignant, Susie defended her new creation. ‘It’s my new design,’ she explained. ‘Miss Dandy said I should take home this material and make a hat, the like of which has never been seen before.’

‘Is that so?’ Trying his damnedest not to laugh, Barney looked at the hat; it was a sickly green, with a white feather sticking out of the top and a brim so wide that Susie’s little face was almost hidden. He tried to think of something constructive to say, and came out with: ‘Well, I’ve never seen anything like it before, and I don’t suppose anyone else has.’

‘So do you think she’ll be pleased?’

‘Well …’ He huffed and puffed, and didn’t know quite what to say. ‘I just think she’ll be amazed!’

‘Flabbergasted, more like!’ Ronnie commented.

‘You’ve done well.’ As always, Thomas was supportive. ‘Not everyone could make a hat like that.’

Suddenly Vicky was rocking in her chair, helpless with laughter, tears running down her face. ‘Oh, darling girl.’ She couldn’t speak for laughing. ‘It’s the most comical hat I’ve ever seen.’

Open-mouthed, everyone stared at her. ‘MUM!’ Thomas was shocked. Barney could hardly believe his eyes and Susie was close to tears. Ronnie, however, like his mammy could see the humour in what was the worst example of hat-making there could ever be. His face began to crumple and then he hooted and now he was laughing so hard he was bent double over the table.

‘You’re horrible!’ Hurt, Susie stared from one to the other. ‘It took me half the night to make this!’ But in that moment when she got up to storm off, the hat fell over her eyes and she couldn’t see where she was going.

In a moment the place was in uproar, with everyone shrieking with laughter; and now even Susie saw the funny side. ‘I bet you lot couldn’t make a hat like this!’ she spluttered, and they all agreed wholeheartedly.

The meal ended as always, with good humour, and a short discussion as to what part each man would play in the day’s labours. ‘Right! I’ll leave you to it then,’ Barney said. As he went out, Lucy came in. ‘Morning, lass.’ Like the rest of the Davidson clan, he had a real soft spot for her.

‘Morning, Barney!’ Before Lucy had even got her coat off, Vicky had poured her a cup of tea and was already taking Jamie’s coat and leggings off.

Barney gave Lucy a cheery parting wink and went merrily on his way, while behind him, Susie lost no time in telling Lucy how cruel they had all been about her beloved hat.

Taking the horse and cart, Barney went to Casey’s Farm by way of the back lanes. He had arranged to meet Adam there, to help him repair the tractor. A small, nondescript place, the farm was situated some three miles away.

As they ambled along, Barney talked to the old shire-horse as usual. ‘Don’t you go taking off at a gallop!’ he warned him, even though at thirty years old, the elderly horse did not have a gallop left in him. Content to be with his master, he pricked up his ears and listened to what Barney had to say, and understood not a single word.

On approaching the track that led to Casey’s Farm, Barney spied his friend about to slide under the tractor. ‘Adam, hang on a minute!’ he bawled. When the little man appeared not to have heard him, he shouted again, this time louder. ‘ADAM! WAIT A MINUTE!’

This time, Adam heard. Scrambling to his feet, he waited for Barney to bring the horse and cart to a halt. ‘You’re late,’ he grumbled. ‘I expected you half an hour since.’

Barney jumped down from the cart. ‘What the devil d’you think you’re doing! You know how dangerous it is to be getting underneath a tractor without anyone else about.’

‘Old Casey needs this oil leak plugged before he can use the tractor,’ Adam explained. ‘And being as he’s got mountains o’ stuff to shift before the weather turns, he needs it right now.’

‘In that case, first we’ll get it jacked up proper, afore somebody gets hurt. If we get a move on, it shouldn’t take above an hour. Besides, I’ve an appointment this morning and I don’t want to be late.’

They completed the task within the hour and now, all that was left was for Adam to tidy away the tools and such. ‘Leave it to me now, Barney. I’ll finish up later, after you’ve gone off to your appointment,’ Adam told him. ‘The old fella’s left the kitchen open for us to get a drink and a wash, so we’ll away in, eh?’ He led the way. ‘I appreciate you helping me out on this one,’ he said as they went along. ‘I’d never have done it on my own.’

‘It’s no trouble.’ These two were always there for each other, and it had been that way for many years. ‘That’s what friends are for.’

Washed and thirsty, Barney sat himself at the table while Adam mashed the tea.

‘You look tired, matey.’ Adam put the teapot on the table, together with a plate of sandwiches. ‘Mrs Casey made these afore she went to the shops,’ he explained. ‘The Caseys are not a bad old couple, but if you ask me, it’s time he called it a day. He doesn’t walk so good these days, and his sight isn’t what it was, but he still refuses to retire gracefully.’ Seating himself in the chair, he passed the bowl of sugar to Barney. ‘He’s much like you – work is his life. I dare say he’ll not stop till he drops!’

When Barney seemed to be deep in thought, his friend delivered a torrent of questions. ‘What’s wrong? Didn’t you sleep well? Are you worrying about the move – is that it?’

Curious, he studied Barney’s face and thought he had never seen him so worried. ‘You’ve changed your mind about going and you don’t know how to tell them. I’m right, aren’t I? You don’t want to go after all?’

Barney smiled. ‘You’re so wrong, Adam.’ Unbeknownst to anyone, Barney had a drastic plan, and though it would shatter his life, Barney believed in his heart that it was the best option for his family. ‘Think about it,’ he urged. ‘I have the most wonderful wife a man could ever hope for, a daughter who already has ambitions, and two fine sons with farming in their blood, but what is there here for them?’

‘The same as what there’s allus been.’ Adam was a simple man with simple means. It didn’t take much to make him happy; a good friend, a day’s honest work, his own little place to come home to, and a warm smile from Lucy … though there wasn’t a waking minute, when he didn’t wish it could be more.

Unlike Barney, he had no family to rely on him, and so he did not have the same responsibilities, whereas Barney’s family was his entire world. There was no doubt in anyone’s mind but that he would lay down his life for them.

‘It’s a hard cruel world out there,’ Barney replied. ‘England is beautiful. It’s our home and we love it, we always will. But everybody knows the bigger opportunities are out there in America.’ Barney’s instincts told him that his children would make it big in America.

He smiled, a painful, wistful smile that betrayed his own regret at not being able to share in his beloved family’s once-in-a-lifetime adventure. ‘I can see it all now,’ he murmured. ‘My two boys, riding across their own land … with my Vicky watching from the house …’ He looked up, the pride alive in his face. ‘Oh, Adam! I know they can do it. Given the opportunity, I just know they’ll grasp it with both hands.’ His excitement heightened. ‘I can see it! I can feel it in my bones!’

‘I know you want the best for them, Barney, and so you should …’ Adam had a gut feeling there was something going on in Barney’s mind, something other than what he was telling. ‘But, don’t you think it’s a big step to take? Uprooting yourselves to sail away to a strange land when there’s always a chance they might make it good here?’

Barney slowly shook his head. ‘I’ve worked hard all my life,’ he answered sombrely. ‘I’ve brought scrubland back to life, I’ve toiled every godsent hour until my hands bled and my knuckles were raw. I’ve sown the seeds and reaped the harvest, but nothing was mine. I did everything a man could be asked, but I never made enough money to buy even a square foot of land to call my own … to look out across the fields and say this is mine, this is what I’ve given my life for.’

He paused, his mind going back over the years. ‘It’s allus been the man in the big house who’s been able to do that.’

He gave a long heartfelt sigh. ‘Nothing’s changed. There’s no magic formula that says my boys will do any better than me, even though they’ll work the same hours and give the same blood and sweat.’

‘But, Barney, don’t you think they’ll be content just to work the land alongside their dad?’

Even though he could see Barney’s reasoning for going away to make a new life, he so much wanted him to stay. But that was selfish, and he felt ashamed.

Barney tried to explain. ‘You might well be right, old friend,’ he conceded. ‘They are content to be working alongside me, but for how long, eh? There’ll come a day when they’ll need to strike out on their own. That’s when they’ll realise like me, that nothing is for nothing. All they have is the wages I pay them, and Lord knows that’s poor enough. What chance have they got of owning their own farm? The way things are, they’ll be old and grey and still working somebody else’s land. What kind of a future is that for two strapping lads who have it in them to do better?’

In the face of Barney’s explanation, Adam was convinced but saddened. ‘All I can see is the way the three of you work … a well-balanced team, strong together, all pulling the same way, and all the while seeming to know what the other is thinking.’ He nodded his head. ‘Happen I don’t see the true picture after all.’

Barney corrected him. ‘NO! You do see the true picture, and it’s a wonderful way of life. But can’t you hear what I’m telling you? None of it belongs to us and it never will … not the land nor the cattle, not even the roof over our heads. There have been many times when I’ve dreamed of going to America … who hasn’t? And now, we’ve been given an opportunity that may never come again.’

He went on quietly, ‘I have little money … certainly not enough to buy my own land. So if we stayed, I’d be forever a tenant farmer, with no chance of ever owning my own farm, and that being the case there will be nothing for my sons to build on. Oh, yes, I accept that they might move on and somehow, sometime in the far distant future they just might get as far as owning something or another. But I can never be certain of that, and neither can they. As for Susie, if she’s ever to fulfil her ambitions, she’ll need all the help she can get because sometimes talent and skill isn’t enough. She needs opportunities to show what she can do; money to put her through the right kind of college, and then the means to ease her into her own little business.’

He paused, thinking of Vicky and their children, and his heart swelled with pride. ‘I want them to have every chance,’ he murmured. ‘I want them to see something of this beautiful world we live in. I want them to have every opportunity to make a wonderful life, and because of the generosity of one man, they’ve been offered the best chance they’ll ever have … a new life, a bigger sky, new horizons and the way forward to make something of themselves.’ His eyes shone with love. ‘They’re so excited. They want the challenge.’ His voice dropped to a whisper. ‘Who am I to deny them that?’

Adam’s tone changed to one of admiration. ‘You’re right, old friend, but it’s a big step for anybody to be taking, and I’ll tell you this … I’ll miss you all like the very devil, but I do envy you. You’re a brave man, Barney, I’ll say that. There’s many of us who would love the same challenge, but some of us are forever dreamers while others, like yourself, have the courage to give it a go.’ He saw the sadness in Barney’s eyes. ‘All the same, it’s worrying you, isn’t it?’

Barney shook his head. ‘No, Adam.’ He took a sip of his tea. ‘It’s not that that’s been worrying me, well, not for the reasons you might think anyway.’

‘Hmh! If’s not that, what is it then?’

Barney paused, his expression serious as he caught Adam’s curious glance. ‘What I’m about to tell you now, Adam … you’re not to repeat it to a living soul, d’you understand?’

Concerned, Adam replaced his biscuit onto the plate. ‘I’ve never been one to spread folks’ business,’ he chided, ‘especially when it’s an old friend confiding in me. You should know that by now, Barney.’

Barney was mortified. ‘I’m sorry, Adam. It’s just that, I’ve not told anybody else, and I won’t. When I leave here, I’m seeing the doctor. I’ve not told Vicky, and I don’t want her to know … whatever the outcome.’

Now, as Adam began to grasp the seriousness of the situation, he gulped so hard, his Adam’s apple felt like a brick in his throat. ‘I think you’d best explain what you mean by that,’ he said.

Barney felt such relief that he had been able to confide in someone, and as it was Adam, he knew his secret would go no further. ‘I’m sorry to put you in this situation,’ he said, ‘only I had to talk to somebody.’

Deeply worried, the other man brushed aside his apology. ‘What is it, Barney old mate? What’s wrong?’

Barney didn’t want to frighten Adam unnecessarily, but on the other hand, should anything untoward come of his visit to the doctor, he needed someone outside the family to be in full possession of the facts. ‘I reckon as how there’s summat wrong wi’ me,’ he began quietly. ‘Summat the doctors can’t put right.’

Adam was visibly shocked. ‘God Almighty, Barney, whatever makes you say a thing like that?’

Barney explained. ‘For some months now, I’ve been getting these crippling pains in my chest. Sometimes I can hardly breathe, and other times I’m as sick as a dog at the slightest thing. I’m allus tired, but I can’t ever get a good night’s sleep. It’s summat serious, Adam, I know it is.’

‘And why are you so sure about that?’ His pal would have none of it. ‘You’re no doctor, to say it’s summat serious that they can’t put right. Good God, Barney, it could be any number o’ things.’

A glimmer of hope fluttered through Barney. ‘What could it be then?’

‘Well, I don’t know, do I?’ Adam replied irritably. ‘Like yourself, I’m no doctor. All I know is, you shouldn’t go jumping to conclusions. It could be a simple little thing that can easily be dealt with.’

‘Such as what?’

‘Well, such as a bad bout of indigestion. I get it all the time – it nigh doubles me up, but it’s nothing to worry about. Then there’s the nature of your work; you’re out all hours in all weathers, and how many times have I seen you lying on the damp ground, under a machine, or hanging on the edge of a ladder reaching for this or that, then another time you’ll be stacking hay up to the ceiling in the barn. Jesus! You’re allus up to summat, stretching your body to its limit and not giving a thought to the consequences.’

He wagged a finger. ‘You know as well as I do, there’s many a farmer gone crippled because of his work and the changing weather.’

‘I know that, but it’s not the same thing at all.’

‘Like as not you’ve overstretched a chest-muscle, or you might even have fractured a rib. That’s been known to happen afore now and not been discovered for many a week – by which time it’s got worse.’

Barney’s hopes rose. ‘You’re right. I didn’t think of all that.’

‘No, you didn’t,’ Adam confirmed. ‘You were too busy thinking the worst instead.’

‘So, do you reckon I should still see the doctor?’

‘It wouldn’t hurt, not now that you’ve made the appointment.’

Barney nodded. ‘I’m glad I told you, Adam.’

‘So am I.’ The other man, though, was secretly worried. ‘You’d best mek tracks, lad. Soonest done is soonest mended.’

A few minutes later, Barney was ready to set off. ‘I’ll call in and see you at home on my way back,’ he told Adam. ‘Let you know what Dr Lucas says.’

His old friend waved him off. ‘You do that,’ he advised. ‘And stop your worriting!’

Long after Barney was out of sight, Adam stood at the door, mulling over what Barney had told him: pains in his chest, being sick, sleeping badly and at times hardly able to breathe. He had assured Barney it could be any number of minor things, but deep down he had to consider that it could be really serious – far more serious than he had led the other man to believe. He was frightened for his pal.

So frightened for him that he downed tools there and then and made his way home, intending to wait for Barney to let him know what Dr Lucas had to say.

Expecting his appointment to last some fifteen minutes or less, Barney was in Dr Lucas’s surgery for a whole hour and a half.

Having been pummelled about and then quizzed for what seemed an age, Barney dressed behind the screens and came out to stand before the man’s desk. ‘What’s the verdict then, Doctor?’ he asked. He needed to know, but was dreading the answer. Not for nothing had Raymond Lucas called in his colleague from the other consulting room, and each in turn had examined Barney yet again; in quiet tones discussing his condition while he quickly dressed.

The doctor smiled. ‘Sit down, Mr Davidson.’ His quick smile was not a reassuring one; instead, to Barney it seemed more of a consoling smile, and sure enough with his next words he confirmed Barney’s suspicions. ‘I’m afraid it’s not good news.’

Suppressing the fear inside him, Barney asked tremulously, ‘It’s my heart, isn’t it?’

Dr Lucas slowly nodded. ‘I’m sorry.’ Quickly adding, ‘But it’s not all bad news. With proper medication and rest, you could go on for years yet.’

Shocked to the soul, Barney interrupted him. ‘What you’re saying is, if I stop work and spend the rest of my life doing nothing, then I might live a few years more?’

‘Well, I’m not suggesting you should do nothing. I’m saying you will have to take things a lot easier. No more building haystacks, or driving in the sheep on a frosty winter’s morning. You have a damaged heart. It isn’t functioning as it should and that’s a dangerous thing, especially for an active man such as yourself, whose very livelihood depends on him using his strength to carry out his work.’

A note of impatience marbled his advice. ‘From now on, you must be sensible in everything you do, and I cannot emphasise that strongly enough.’

Barney wasn’t listening. By now he was seeing the future in his own mind, and what he saw was more crippling than anything he had so far endured. ‘Tell me, Dr Lucas …’ he paused, hoping against hope that he might receive the answer he needed. ‘Is there anything you can do to repair the damage?’

The doctor shook his head. ‘I’m afraid the damage seems to be quite considerable. The breathlessness, the pain and sickness … it all has to do with the heart not doing its work. As far as we can tell, there is little that can be done, except to give you the advice I’ve just given, and for you to follow it to the letter.’ He bent his head to his desk and taking out a notepad, began scribbling furiously. ‘I can carry out any number of tests and no doubt get a fuller picture. But the heart is a complex organ and often it can be more dangerous to interfere with it, than to leave it alone.’

Looking up, he added in a serious voice, ‘My opinion and that of my colleague is for us to treat the symptoms, and for you to do your part … follow my advice, and take the medicine prescribed. That way, it’s certainly possible that you may enjoy a few more good years.’

Handing Barney the folded paper, he told him, ‘I’ve made an appointment for you to be admitted into the Infirmary first thing in the morning.’ His smile was sympathetic. ‘I’m sorry the news was not what you might have expected, Mr Davidson, but we’ll do the best we can – as indeed you must.’

Barney was devastated.

In a kind of half-drunken stupor he left the surgery and made his way to the horse and cart, which he had tethered outside. Without his usual greeting to the old horse, he climbed aboard, took up the reins and clicking the horse away, sat back on his slatted wooden bench and turned his thoughts to Vicky and the family.

As he left the village behind and came into the open countryside, he stopped the horse in its tracks, and climbing down off the bench, stood at the top of the valley, from where he could see the whole world.

He stood for a long time, his mind numbed and his heart sore, and when the doctor’s words flooded back … It’s possible you may enjoy a few good years … he lifted his face to the skies and with the tears streaming down his face, he accused that Great Master somewhere in the heavens: ‘Every step of my life I’ve always trusted You, and now when my life seems to be taking a turn for the better, You snatch it away.’ Anger roared through him. ‘WHAT TERRIBLE THING DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?’ Sobbing, he fell to the ground.

In his mind’s eye he could see Vicky, and his children. He saw the joy in their eyes and the excitement in their voices as they spoke of their imminent new life in Boston, and it was as though a knife was twisting his soul.

Sobered by the prospect of telling them, he climbed back onto the cart, but he did not take up the reins. Instead he sat hunched and desolate, without hope; without a future.

Adam was sitting on the doorstep smoking his pipe when he saw Barney coming up the lane. ‘At last!’ He had almost given him up. Knocking out his pipe on the porch column, he laid it beside his empty beer mug and ran out to meet his old friend. ‘Where’ve you been? You’ve been gone an age,’ he told him as Barney wearily climbed down. ‘I thought you were never coming back.’

Half an hour later, the dreadful news imparted and shared, tears shed and dried, and a pint pot of beer swallowed, Barney turned to Adam and confided his chief worry.

‘How on earth can I go off to farm in Boston when I’m in this state, fit for nowt? I can’t see myself sitting about like an old-timer, gazing across the land, watching while the others work their fingers to the bone.’

When his voice broke, it took a moment to compose himself before he could go on. ‘I couldn’t do that to them, Adam, and I won’t do it to myself. I think I’ve known these past few months that my time on earth is short, but it’s so hard to think of leaving Vicky and our children. But I’ll have to! Dear Lord, somehow I’ll have to.’

When he now turned to look at Adam, the latter saw the sorrow in his eyes and the bitterness in the hard edge of his mouth. ‘You above all people know I can’t do it,’ Barney confided. ‘I can’t not bring in the harvest or go out in the tractor when the earth is just waking, seeing the dew sparkle like jewels on the ground and the night creatures running before me as I plough the furrows.’

As he spoke his eyes lit up. ‘The joy of my life is bringing in the sheep, collecting the apples from the branches where Vicky can’t reach, tending the land from first light to darkness. It’s in my nature, it’s in my blood, Adam – you know that! If I can’t do it, my life might just as well be over.’

As he stood up to leave, Barney placed a hand on Adam’s shoulder. ‘This is just between you and me, old friend,’ he said quietly. ‘No one else need ever know.’

Slumped forward, shocked by Barney’s news, Adam was lost for words. There was no man on this earth could change Barney’s mind once it was made up.

He knew Barney better than most, apart from Vicky who knew him like she knew herself. And he was aware that, whatever Barney decided to do, he would not embark on it without a great deal of thought and much agonising.

Fixing his gaze on the clumps of mud he had earlier walked onto the path, Adam nodded. ‘I shall be here if you need me,’ he said simply.

It was little enough, he thought. But at a time like this, God help him, what else could he do?