Читать книгу Josephine Cox Sunday Times Bestsellers Collection - Josephine Cox - Страница 26

THROUGHOUT THE FOLLOWING week, Barney carried on as usual, though sometimes when he was out in the fields alone, he would take time to rest, not because he wanted to, but because he was tired, and ill, and stubborn as he had ever been.

He had always loved the onset of winter, with the crisp clean air coming up the valley to pinch his face and make him feel alive, but on this particular day he found it all too much. His whole body ached, and for the first time in an age, he had felt the need to wear an overcoat.

‘Things aren’t the same, are they, old fella?’ He wrapped his arms round the thick hairy neck of his four-legged pal. ‘I thought I had years to go yet. I’m not old, only in my mid-forties, and I still have ambition in me. I thought I might be going on the greatest adventure of my life, taking the whole family to America and starting all over again. But I’m useless now, and growing more useless by the day.’

His voice carried a sense of irony. ‘In horse years, you must be as old as the hills.’ He gave a wry little laugh. ‘But summat tells me you’ll still be here, long after I’ve gone.’

Drawing away, he went to the back of the cart and took down a nosebag of hay. After he’d tied it round the horse’s ears, he walked to the top of the hill, where he stood and gazed around him, imprinting that familiar, magnificent panorama in his mind, in case he might never see it again.

Lost in memories and regret, he did not hear the footsteps drawing closer. ‘Hello, Barney. Vicky told me where I might find you.’

Startled, Barney swung round to find Dr Lucas there. ‘I was out walking,’ he told Barney. ‘Being that it was on my way, I thought I’d call in at Overhill Farm and have a little chat with you, but you’d already gone.’ He glanced at the cart, which was loaded down with branches, half-trees and all manner of debris, and wagging a finger at Barney, he said, ‘I sincerely hope someone helped you on with that load?’

Barney didn’t answer. His mind was still with the doctor’s greeting, and he was horrified. ‘You say you’ve been to the house?’

‘I called in, yes.’

‘You haven’t told Vicky anything, have you? She doesn’t know yet.’

‘No, Barney. I haven’t told anyone. You specifically asked me not to betray your confidence, and I won’t. I can’t.’ Raymond Lucas knew how badly Barney had taken the news – and who could blame him? ‘It’s you I’m concerned about. Twice now, over the course of the past week, I’ve seen you from a distance, standing up here, on the edge of this very hill.’ He frowned. ‘Today, I thought I might come and chat awhile.’

Barney couldn’t help but chuckle. ‘You thought I might throw myself over the edge, is that it?’

Dr Lucas shook his head. ‘I would never think that of you, Barney. Whatever obstacle life puts in your way, I know you’ll face it head on.’ He smiled. ‘Given the same disturbing news, some people might well throw themselves over the edge. But not you.’

Looking down, Barney nodded. ‘Don’t think I haven’t considered it,’ he said truthfully, kicking the ground. ‘Because I have.’

The other man said nothing. Instead, he walked back to the cart with Barney, and listened to what he had to say.

‘It’s the family I fear for,’ Barney confided. ‘I don’t know how to prepare them. I know I should tell them, but I don’t want them to know. We’ve allus been close – too close, mebbe, because that makes it all the more painful. As for my Vicky …’ He sighed heavily. ‘She’s been my reason for living ever since the day I first saw her.’

When his voice began to waver, he stopped, composed himself and when he was ready he looked up at Dr Lucas. ‘I’ve searched my heart and I’ve turned every which way, to think of how I might break the news. Then I imagine what it will do to them, and I can’t … I just can’t do it!’

They walked on in silence for a moment, the doctor filled with sadness, and Barney hurting like he had never hurt before. ‘I’m not sure yet how to deal with it all, but I will,’ he said softly, as though talking to himself. ‘I’ll find a way!’

Not for the first time, Raymond Lucas felt helpless. In latter years, there had been significant strides forward in medicine, but as yet, there was no way to renew a heart that was damaged beyond repair. ‘I’m sorry, Barney. I hope you know that.’

Barney slowly nodded his head. ‘So am I,’ he said, and then he had a question. ‘If I had come into the Infirmary like you wanted, could you have made me healthy again? Would I have come home, being able to do all the things I’ve allus done?’

The other man shook his head decisively. ‘No.’

Barney smiled. ‘Thank you. That’s what I thought.’

Dr Lucas had heard the exciting news, about how the Davidson family were off to America. ‘Have you decided what to do about Mr Maitland, and his offer of taking you all to Boston?’

‘I’m working on it.’ Barney climbed onto the cart, took up the reins and reminded the other man about his promise. ‘Don’t you worry your head about that,’ he said firmly, but not disrespectfully. ‘It’s my business and I’ll deal with it my way. Your part is to say nothing. That’s our agreement as I understand it. Am I right, Dr Lucas?’

‘Yes, you are, Barney. But you mustn’t leave it too late before you tell them. It would not be fair – not to you, or to them.’

That said, he waved goodbye and took the path to the forest, while Barney went the long way round, through the valley and down by the river.

He wasn’t ready to go home just yet.

He had a lot to think about.

By the time he got back to the farmhouse, Barney was his usual self. ‘What’s all this then?’ The dining-table was piled high with all manner of things – clothes and papers and odds and ends he had never seen before; even a leather football he had bought years back to teach his young sons the game.

‘I’m clearing out what we won’t be taking to Boston with us.’ Flicking the dust from her hair, Vicky gave a muffled sneeze. ‘You would not believe the things that have turned up,’ she chuckled. ‘I even found that cowboy hat you wore to the first barn-dance we ever gave.’

Grabbing the hat from the table, Lucy plopped it on Barney’s head. ‘It suits you,’ she laughed. ‘You should wear it when you’re bringing in the sheep.’

‘Why don’t I wear it to the celebrations?’ he suggested cheerfully.

‘Great idea!’ Smiling, she turned to Lucy. ‘I’m glad you decided to have the child christened the day before his second birthday.’ Having both celebrations on the same day would have been too much.

Lucy was looking forward to it all. ‘There you are, Barney,’ she cried. ‘Two parties in one. You’ll never have a better excuse to wear that hat.’

Barney took it off and placed it on the pile. ‘Look at this!’ Certain articles had slid to the floor and there wasn’t a single spare inch on the table. ‘It looks like a rag-shop in here,’ he said jokingly. He picked up a pair of trousers some two sizes too big for him now. ‘I hope you’re not expecting me to wear these an’ all,’ he said, making a face.

‘I might, if you don’t stop complaining,’ Vicky answered with a click of the tongue.

Seeing the garments and artefacts piled high on the table was like the remnants of their lives together, and it shook him deeply. ‘Why you felt the need to clear out wardrobes and such just yet, I’ll never know,’ he declared. ‘The ship doesn’t sail until the sixth of November … that’s still well over two weeks away.’ If things had been different he might have been helping but now, it was too frightening how fast the days were rushing by.

‘That’s not long,’ Vicky argued. ‘Not when I need to sort every drawer and cupboard, throw some stuff away, give some to the church for the needy, and get the rest washed and ironed to come with us. It can’t all be done in five minutes.’

‘Vicky’s right.’ Lucy had been helping all morning and still they had hardly started. ‘Then there’s the whole house to be gone over – floors so well-scrubbed you could eat your bacon and eggs off them, cupboards washed and lined with fresh newspaper, and every window-pane polished to a brilliant shine …’

‘And that’s only the inside!’ Vicky was beginning to panic. ‘You men haven’t got a clue, have you?’

‘I’ve got a thirst though.’ Barney made his way to the kettle. ‘I expect you could both do with a cuppa?’

‘You two sit yourselves down.’ Bringing him back, Lucy sat him in the chair. ‘I’ll mash the tea.’

Tired and weary, Barney didn’t argue. ‘I wouldn’t mind a piece o’ that fruit-cake, if there’s any left?’

There was, and when Lucy brought it in along with the tea, Barney wolfed it down. ‘By!’ He washed it down with a gulp of hot tea. ‘I reckon my girl is the best cook in the whole world,’ he said, smacking Vicky’s bottom as she walked by.

‘Enough o’ that, Barney Davidson,’ she reprimanded. But there was a twinkle in her eye, and the twitch of a smile on her lips as she turned away.

‘I wouldn’t mind another piece o’ cake if you’re going to the kitchen?’ he called out hopefully.

‘I am going to the kitchen,’ she called back, ‘but it’s no cake for you.’

‘Aw – why’s that?’

‘’Cause your dinner will soon be on the table, that’s why.’

For the next few moments while Vicky was clattering about in the kitchen, Barney and Lucy sat together as they often did, talking and planning and wondering what the future held.

‘I’ll really miss you, Barney,’ Lucy told him shyly. ‘I know I shouldn’t say it, not when you’re all so excited and looking forward to it, but sometimes I wish Mr Maitland had never asked you.’ She was instantly mortified. ‘Oh, that’s a terrible thing to say! I’m sorry, Barney, really I am.’ She almost hero-worshipped this man, and didn’t want him to think badly of her.

Instead, he said kindly, ‘I wish you were coming too, you and young Jamie. You’re part of the family now. As you know, I even asked Mr Maitland if there might be a place for you, but he’s already altered the contract of sale on your account.’

Lucy understood. ‘He’s done a generous thing in leaving me secure with a job and a home. You’re not to concern yourself about me,’ she said. ‘I’ll be fine. I’ve got Bridget, and I’ve got little Jamie, and to tell you the truth, I’ve never been happier – though it will take some getting used to, not having you Davidsons just up the road.’

Reaching forward, she slid her hands over his. ‘I’m really glad for you, Barney … all of you. It’s wonderful what’s happening!’ She allowed herself a little daydream. ‘I don’t know anybody who’s gone to start a new life in America.’ Feeling the warmth of his hands through hers, she drew away.

It was strange, the way she sometimes felt a thrill when he looked at her; and unforgivable, how she had come to think of Barney as more than a friend.

Just then, Barney felt the pain beginning in his chest. When he tried to take a deep breath it sounded like a strangled cough, and now the pain was spreading, like two mighty hands squeezing the life from him. Bending forward, he got out of the chair, his face drained and his mouth half-open as though he was having difficulty breathing.

‘My God, what’s wrong?’ Lucy was quickly on her feet and helping him. She would have shouted for Vicky, but Barney gave her a warning glance.

As quickly as he could before Vicky came back into the room, he brushed past Lucy and stumbled outside. Frightened by what she had witnessed, Lucy ran after him; thankfully, Vicky neither heard nor saw them as they went out through the front door.

Lucy found Barney in the wood-shed; leaning over the pile of stripped saplings, he was still gasping for breath, but seemed to be recovering by the minute. ‘I’m sorry, lass.’ He afforded her a smile as she came rushing in. ‘It were a raisin or summat out o’ the fruit-cake. Went down the wrong way, I reckon.’

‘Don’t lie to me, Barney,’ she warned him. ‘I’ve seen you like this before. You’re ill, aren’t you? Tell me, Barney … what’s wrong? What’s happening to you?’ Fear struck at her heart. She could just about cope with the idea of him going to America, but if anything bad should happen to him … no! The prospect was unthinkable.

‘It’s summat and nowt,’ he wheezed, trying to sound casual. ‘It’s just an upset. It comes and goes.’ Another spasm gripped him and he gasped.

‘Have you seen the doctor?’

‘I have, yes. And if you don’t believe me, ask Adam Chives.’ A thought occurred to him; he must remember to warn his pal not to let Lucy know the truth. ‘You mustn’t mention any of this to Vicky,’ he wheezed. ‘She’s got enough on her plate at the minute, without worrying about me.’

Lucy came closer. ‘You’re not lying to me, are you?’

Barney appeared shocked. ‘Good God, woman! Why would I do that, eh?’ He stretched his arms out either side, inviting her to, ‘Look at me, Lucy. I’m fit and strong, and like I said, it were summat and nowt.’ Taking her by the arm he turned her round and walked her back to the house. ‘Any minute now there’ll be a houseful. Happen you’d best give Vicky a helping hand with the dinner, eh?’

Over dinner, Lucy watched Barney closely; he laughed and chatted and played with young Jamie and she began to wonder whether she’d imagined it all. In the end she gave up the worrying and joined in the excited chatter about the forthcoming adventure.

‘I mean to be a millionaire before I’m thirty,’ Thomas declared.

‘Not before me,’ Susie butted in. ‘Miss Dandy showed me a map. She thinks I could have at least ten shops in Boston, before I start on New York.’

‘Lucy, will you dance with me at the party?’ Ronnie asked. ‘I’ve been let down and now I’ve nobody to partner me.’

‘Well, thank you, I’d be honoured, sir.’ Lucy laughed. She was thrilled. It was a long time since anyone had whisked her round the dance-floor. She thought of Edward Trent with a familiar flash of anger. All along she had loved him, and all along he had told her how much he loved her back. Like a fool she had believed him, and he let her down badly.

Now, though, because of what he had done when she lay injured, she could walk by him in the street and not even turn a hair. Gently, unconsciously, she fingered the scar by her hairline where she had smashed her head against a rock.

‘That reminds me!’ Barney had completely forgotten. ‘First thing tomorrow, I need the pair of you lads to help me set out that wooden floor in the barn. It hasn’t been used since me and your mam had our twentieth wedding anniversary. With all the invites that have gone out, I’ve an idea we might need to make a couple or more extra squares.’

The excitement mounted. ‘Christenings, birthdays and sailing off to a new land … whatever next!’ Vicky raised her wine-glass for the umpteenth time. ‘To the future!’ And everyone drank heartily.

Everyone except Barney, who touched the wine against his lips and pretended to drink; Lucy, who saw him do it, wondered if he was hiding something after all.

In that worrying moment he glanced up and smiled at her; and the smile was so beautiful and easy, it took her breath away. She smiled back and raised her glass. ‘All right, Barney?’ She mouthed the words. He nodded, raised his glass and took a sip. Soon he was laughing, and all seemed well.

The christening went even better than planned.

The sun came out to brighten the day and the service was simple, yet awe-inspiring. Even when the sacred water was poured over his forehead, Jamie did not flinch. He seemed to enjoy the whole thing.

Barney picked him up and held him; Bridget and Adam swore to be godparents, and the child was blessed.

‘Now, how d’you feel about it?’ Barney asked afterwards, and Lucy told him she felt it had been the right thing to do.

Vicky said he was now a child of God, and they drank to his future.

Then, in all the excitement, Jamie wet his pants. Lucy changed him and he promptly fell asleep, exhausted from being the centre of attention, while family and friends held a simple little lunch. ‘We’ve still got the birthday party tomorrow to look forward to,’ Ronnie said, and Susie ran upstairs to check that nothing had happened to the pretty dress Vicky had bought her for the occasion.

Later that afternoon, Adam was tidying up his porch when he caught sight of someone going across the headland. Convinced it was Barney, he put on his coat and climbed the hill towards him.

When he got to the spot where he thought he had seen Barney, there was nothing there, not a bird or a rabbit, or anything, save for the winter-chill that swept across the land when evening came.

‘That’s funny!’ Adam was sure he’d seen someone up there. Cupping his mouth, he called against the wind. ‘BARNEY! Where the devil are you!’ but there was no answer.

Puzzled, he made his way back to Casey’s Farm. ‘I could have sworn …’ He shook his head. ‘Adam Chives, you must be losing your marbles.’ But then, he chided himself, was it surprising he’d begun to imagine things, when his best and only real friend in the world had told him he would probably not live to see another Christmas?

Further down the hill, the figure remained hidden until Adam had gone on his way, then furtively it emerged, to continue along the path in the direction of Overhill Farm.

The two Davidson boys were in the barn and had been for the past hour. ‘No, no!’ Barney rushed forward, just in time to stop Ronnie from laying the section too close to the corner. ‘You need to leave room for the dancing,’ he said. ‘If you take it too far into the corner, there’ll be no space for folks to swing about.’

Ronnie laughed at that. ‘Oh, so you do intend we’ll all be swinging about, do you?’

‘I hope so!’ Thomas brought forward another two sections. ‘I’m bringing the prettiest girl ever, and I’d be real disappointed if we weren’t able to dance!’ He winked at Ronnie who told him he was fortunate, because so far, he himself didn’t have a partner.

‘You’ve got Lucy,’ Barney reminded him. ‘And if you think she can’t dance then you’d best think again, because from what me and your mammy have seen, she can cut a rug along wi’ the best of ’em!’

In fact, he had often caught Lucy when she was playing the gramophone and dancing on her own across the parlour. ‘What’s more,’ he added, ‘she’s a fine-looking young woman. You should be proud she’s agreed to dance the evening away with you, my lad.’

‘How many more sections do you think I need to make?’ Thomas had been making wooden-slatted squares all morning, and now it seemed his father was right and there wouldn’t be enough of a dance-floor to cope with all the folks that were invited.

Barney walked the area with him. ‘We’ll need it right up to there,’ he said, pointing to the barn wall. ‘That’s where the food will be. Then it needs taking to within three feet of the far end. That’s where the benches will be set out, and folks can sit if they’re not dancing.’ He scratched his chin and mentally calculated. ‘I reckon if you could make another two, that should do it.’

As Thomas went back outside, Barney informed Ronnie, ‘That’s your job when once you’ve finished laying the floor. We’ll need at least four long benches for folks to sit on.’

‘I like the way you say “we”,’ Ronnie quipped. ‘I haven’t seen you lift a single thing yet, Dad!’

‘Cheeky young divil!’ Barney wagged a friendly finger. ‘Some of us have more to do than prepare for a barn-dance. There’s plenty of other work wants seeing to.’

Just lately, Barney had found it increasingly necessary to delegate the work he was physically incapable of doing. Thankfully, so far he had managed to hoodwink everybody. ‘Stop your moaning and get on with it, you young scoundrel. And be quick about it. Afore we know where we are, tomorrow will be here and so will all the folks.’

By the time evening came the barn was ready, with colourful trimmings hanging from the rafters, a long table set up to hold the food and a whole wall of benches to accommodate weary bottoms. Much to Barney’s delight, the makeshift dance-floor was not only a job to be proud of, but large enough for the dancing of many partygoers. ‘You’ve done a grand job,’ he told his sons. ‘I couldn’t have done better myself.’

Ronnie reminded him that the tables for the guests to eat at were not yet put up. ‘There’ll be time enough to root them out tomorrow,’ his father said. ‘If I remember rightly, the fold-up tables are buried under all kinds of rubbish at the back end of the wood-shed.’

It was gone nine by the time Barney and his sons returned to the house. ‘That’s us done for the night,’ he told Vicky who, together with Lucy, was still taking trays of pork pies out of the oven. ‘It’s over to you now, girls.’ He was concerned at the late hour. ‘It might be best if Lucy and the child stayed the night,’ he suggested to Vicky. ‘She looks fair worn out – you both do. Leave it all now, and get up early in the morning. The party doesn’t start till evening. There’ll be plenty of time to finish off whatever needs doing.’

‘I’ve already asked Lucy to stay.’ With the back of her flour-speckled hand, Vicky wiped away a wisp of hair. ‘Bless him, little Jamie’s fell asleep hours ago … Lucy’s just about to go up.’

Bone-tired and ready for her bed, Lucy washed her hands at the pot sink, said her good nights and climbed the stairs to be with her child.

After checking little Jamie she stood for a while at the window, looking at the night sky and thinking how strange life could be. One minute she was footloose and fancy free; then along came Edward Trent, who promised her the world, made her with child then cleared off; then back he strolled into her life, fooled her into thinking he’d mended his ways and was ready to make her his wife and give his son a name, when he ran away again – in the most cowardly fashion yet.

Somewhere along the way, her life had gone very wrong, and now here she was, without a husband and Jamie without a daddy, and in a couple of weeks’ time, her dear friends would sail away and she would be left here alone.

She worried about Barney. No matter how hard he tried to reassure her that things were fine with him, Lucy could not rid herself of a niggling doubt. Was he ill? Or was it, as he said, ‘summat and nowt’?

Too weary and weighed down with regrets to make sense of it all, she undressed and, climbing into bed, drew the child to her. It was only a matter of minutes before she, too, fell asleep.