Читать книгу Josephine Cox Sunday Times Bestsellers Collection - Josephine Cox - Страница 54

FEELING ANXIOUS NOW that her journey from Boston to Salford was over, Vicky had lingered on the train a moment longer. She still harboured a measure of resentment towards Lucy, because if she had not sent the letter, then everything would have stayed the same. Now though, her life had changed and there was no going back, and it was a shattering thing.

Pulling herself together, she gathered up her suitcase and got off the train. In the chill night air she caught a glimpse of them, Adam and Lucy, waiting for her as they had promised. She could not mistake them, for those familiar features – though now older like her own – were etched in her memories of the past.

As she walked towards them it was almost as though she had turned back the years and that somewhere nearby, Barney would be waiting to take her in his arms and hold her as before. But no! That wasn’t to be. Her heart was like a lead weight inside her. It was all too much … too much! She gave an involuntary sob. Never again would Barney embrace her, his heartbeat close to hers.

From the other end of the platform, Lucy watched her approach. Strange, she thought, how she knew it was Vicky straight off. The walk was the same, the petite figure and the way of holding herself – that was the Vicky she knew and remembered.

As Vicky came closer, she passed beneath a platform lamp, and Lucy could see the tears glinting in her old friend’s eyes. Her heart leaped, and when she turned round to speak to Adam, he was gone. She glanced about, and there he was, standing over by the gate, sending her strength, sending her love, watching over her like a guardian angel.

Now Vicky was standing before her, and the emotions that ran through Lucy were overwhelming. ‘I’m so glad you came,’ she said, choked.

Vicky did not – could not – answer. Instead, she stood motionless, her suitcase still clutched in her hand, tears rolling freely down her face as she began to realise at last that she was here, in the company of someone who had been part of her, part of Barney and the family. ‘Lucy.’ Her voice broke. ‘My God, it’s Lucy Baker.’

The two widows fell into each other’s open arms.

All those long years between, from that fateful day when Vicky and the children sailed away, to this, long-awaited moment, were as nothing now.

When the embraces were over there remained a certain awkwardness. ‘There are so many questions,’ Vicky said huskily. ‘So much I need to know.’

Lucy nodded. ‘I understand.’ Of course there would be questions, about herself and Barney, about how it was between them. Questions asking why Lucy had not told her earlier; why now, after all this time?

The prospect of all those questions made Lucy deep-down nervous.

But so too was Vicky, who walked beside Lucy as they made for where Adam waited. By then, they were chatting and smiling, but he sensed the undercurrent between them, and wondered if too much had happened for them ever to be friends again.

‘Hello, Vicky, my love,’ he said warmly, and his arms opened and she went to him.

‘It’s so good to see you again,’ she said, and the barriers between them were no more.

They talked for a few moments, and then they were in the car, driving back to Knudsden House. ‘You might want to rest and freshen up before dinner,’ Lucy offered. ‘I’ve organised it for eight thirty. You’ll meet Ben and Mary then.’

‘I’m looking forward to that very much.’ Vicky was anxious about the meeting with Mary, but curious all the same. However, before that, there was something else she must do. With no further ado she blurted out: ‘Will you take me to see where Barney is?’

Lucy had half-expected this to be Vicky’s first request. ‘I’ve already arranged it with Adam,’ she explained. ‘The churchyard is too far to walk from the house, yet it’s only a matter of ten minutes in the car. First though, I thought you might like to catch your breath, offload your suitcase and give us a chance to talk. I thought tomorrow morning might be a good time to go there, but we’ll go straight to Barney, if that’s what you prefer?’

That had been Vicky’s plan, to arrive and go straight to Barney. Now though, she did feel the need to catch her breath, as Lucy suggested. She wanted to see where Barney was laid to rest, and yet she wanted to pretend it had not happened, that somewhere, somehow, he was still alive. ‘You’re right,’ she told Lucy. ‘After that long journey, a few hours here or there don’t matter.’

‘Good! Then that’s settled.’

And the two women exchanged a deep look – of shared sorrow and an acknowledgment of the very special bond that united them.

‘It will be wonderful, to meet your Mary,’ Vicky told Lucy as they settled themselves into the comfortable back seat of the car. ‘Although, funnily enough, I’m nervous, too. You said in your letter that she lived with you. Is that still the case?’

Lucy nodded. ‘Not for much longer though. She and her fella, Ben Morris, are to be married soon. Mary’s had such bad luck with men in the past, but now it seems she’s found the right one.’ She waved her hand, as though to bring the conversation to a halt. ‘Now then, I hope you’re hungry. Our Elsie has really gone to town on our supper tonight.’

‘Who’s your Elsie?’ Vicky asked.

‘Elsie Langton is the wife of our local blacksmith. She lives in the village and comes to me every day,’ Lucy explained. ‘It’s too big a house for me to manage on my own these days and well, what with Mary’s flower-shop being so successful and all, we can just about afford dear Elsie. To be honest, we’d all be lost without her.’ Lucy knew she was gabbling on but Vicky seemed genuinely interested.

‘She takes care of the household things – cleaning and cooking and suchlike. She’s an almighty chatterbox, she’s even bossier than me, and at times she can be so infuriating you could happily strangle her,’ Lucy chuckled. ‘But she’s the salt of the earth, honest and hard-working, and totally reliable. She has a heart of gold and excels at everything she does.’

Vicky was impressed. ‘She sounds wonderful.’

‘Oh, she is! In fact, she’s an absolute treasure. You will just love her, I know you will.’

‘Does she look after the grounds as well?’ Vicky was beginning to wish she had such a paragon back home in Boston.

‘She would, if she could get her hands on them. But no, the grounds are Mary’s domain. She grows all of our flowers, fruit and veg, plants them herself, digs and hoes, and spends hours out there, weeding and working in all weathers. The lass sells most of it in her shop or at market, and there’s still enough left over for the local charities.’

Vicky was thrilled. ‘She really must take after her daddy, with such love for the land. Yes, I can tell that she must have green fingers, just like Barney, because even in this wretched weather, it’s easy to see how beautifully kept it all is here.’

They were pulling into the drive of Knudsden House by then.

Lucy was delighted by the compliment to her daughter. ‘Mary’s also got a couple of cows, which she milks by hand,’ she added proudly, ‘and a dozen hens that lay enough eggs to feed a whole congregation.’

‘So, your Elsie is never short of milk or eggs then?’

‘Not so’s you’d notice, no – though if she’s not complaining that she’s got too many, she’s moaning that she’s never got enough. You can’t please our Elsie no matter how hard you try.’

As it happened, the very person herself was waiting for them as Adam helped them out of the car.

‘You’ll be the old friend that Miss Lucy’s been going on about from morning to night,’ she said, rushing forward, the hand of friendship outstretched. ‘I’m Elsie, general dogsbody and hard done by. How d’yer do?’

Before Vicky could get a word in, Elsie was rushing on; ‘I expect that one’s already blackened me name, saying as how I’m a lazy good-for-nothing who can’t cook, can’t make a bed without leaving lumpy bits, and doesn’t know one end of a yard-broom from the other!’

‘Can’t keep quiet for a minute at a time, more like!’ Lucy laughed. ‘Behave yourself. Our guest is starving hungry and tired from the long journey, so be off and keep an eye on our dinner, please.’

Elsie tutted. ‘See how she treats me?’ she enquired of Vicky. ‘Bossing and bullying. Do this, do that.’ Rolling her eyes to the clouds, she went inside and locked herself in the kitchen.

Vicky laughed heartily. ‘You were right,’ she said. ‘She is an absolute treasure.’

Adam went on ahead of them. ‘I’ll put this suitcase in your room,’ he told Vicky, ‘then I’ll make myself scarce for an hour.’

‘You don’t have to,’ Vicky told him.

‘I think it might be best,’ he answered. Knowing how these two had a lot of catching up to do, he insisted, ‘I’ll see you both in an hour or so.’ And before they could argue, he was quickly gone.

As they walked into the hallway, Vicky looked around at the wood-panelled walls and long casement windows. ‘Oh Lucy, this is so lovely!’ she exclaimed. ‘So full of character. Is this where you and Barney lived together?’ There was a wonderfully warm, inviting atmosphere in this house, she thought.

‘We lived here, yes,’ Lucy replied thoughtfully, ‘for the short time we had. Poor Barney was in the last stages of his illness then. I sold the cottage that Mr Maitland kindly gave to me and … and Jamie – thanks to you and Barney – and we managed between us to buy this place, as it was very rundown and going cheap. Dear Adam has put his back into restoring it, over the past twenty years.’

‘And were you happy, the two of you?’

‘As much as we could be, under the circumstances.’ Lucy thought that a difficult question to answer.

Resentment rose in Vicky. ‘It must have been very hard for you both.’ But her voice sounded tight.

‘It was. But we lived one day at a time, and somehow we managed to find a deal of joy in every moment.’

Vicky’s thoughts were with Barney, and her heart ached. ‘I should have been here,’ she burst out. ‘I should have been with him!’

Unsure how to deal with the situation, Lucy spoke her mind. ‘I wouldn’t blame you if you felt bitter … about me and Barney, I mean.’

Vicky’s features hardened. ‘I am bitter,’ she replied hoarsely. ‘I’m angry because you didn’t think to bring me back earlier.’ Her voice rose in a cry of anguish. ‘You can have no idea of the heartache and regrets that haunted me … haunted all of us and still do!’ Turning away, she began pacing the floor. ‘And now when it’s all too late, I discover that Barney was ill when he sent us away – that he turned to you instead of keeping me by his side.’ Her eyes alive with suspicion, she swung round. ‘It makes me wonder how long the affair had been going on. Tell me, Lucy. Were you lovers right under my nose … all the time making a fool of me? Is that it? He had come to need you more than he needed me … even when he was dying?’ The last words came out as a howl.

Horrified, Lucy took a step forward. ‘No, Vicky, you’re wrong! It was never like that!’

As she reached out to touch her old friend, Vicky began sobbing, all the pent-up emotions let loose in a vehement tirade. ‘How can I believe you? You! A woman who took my husband to herself and bore him a child, when all the time none of us knew why he sent us away.’ She was almost screaming now. ‘You knew, though, and still you didn’t think fit to bring me back. I missed him so much … Oh dear God! My Barney, so desperately ill, and me so far away on the other side of the world!’

Burying her face in her hands, she sobbed like a child. And when Lucy reached out, this time she did not flinch. Instead she fell into Lucy’s arms and clung to her, until the sobbing eased and her pain was bearable.

Deeply saddened, Lucy continued to hold her. The tears ran freely down her own face and her heart was heavy with sadness.

Eventually, Vicky raised her head and whispered, ‘Oh Lucy, I was just hitting out … I didn’t mean it.’

Lucy nodded. ‘I know.’

Vicky took a deep breath. ‘It’s just that … oh, I have so many regrets.’

After a time, when the two of them were seated and quiet, Lucy had a question. ‘Did you find at least some measure of contentment with Leonard?’

Vicky did not hesitate. ‘Yes, I did. But it was a strange contentment. It took a long time for me to regard him as anything other than a friend. Even then, it was as though there was something else, someone else, always there, between us.’

She looked away, her thoughts going deep. ‘Even when I was with Leonard, laughing, working, building a home for the children, Barney was always there. Leonard knew it and I knew it, but it was all right, because Barney had sent me away, and Leonard had taken me under his wing … taken all of us under his wing.’ She paused, her thoughts going back over the years she shared with Leonard.

‘We never had a child,’ she murmured softly. ‘I suppose it was never meant to be.’

Sensing a deeper sadness, Lucy gently reminded her, ‘Leonard was a good man and a good and loyal friend to Barney.’

‘I know that. But I still can’t forgive him for lying to me.’

‘It isn’t as if he lied outright,’ Lucy suggested lamely. ‘He just never told you.’

‘But don’t you see – it’s the same thing!’

Lucy hesitated. ‘Will you ever forgive him?’

Vicky shook her head. ‘Never! I will never forgive or forget, until the day that I die.’

And Lucy bowed her head in shame for her part in Barney’s secret sacrifice.