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A Comforting Hug

Karen Christopherson

Michigan

www.trilliumconsultants.com

TrilliumConsult@aol.com

My father-in-law Leonard had his first open-heart surgery when he was fifty-years-old. After ten years, the heart problems had recurred, and his cardiologist was strongly recommending repeat surgery.

Because his level of investment in his work was his primary source of stress at the time, he had decided on an early retirement. It was to be his sole year of retirement, because he died the following spring.

Leonard was a minister who had dedicated his life to spirituality and thus was completely unafraid of death. In retrospect, it became apparent to his family that he had “known” he would have only one winter in Florida and that he had made the most of every day there. Although he had always had close relationships with his sons, he had not previously taken the time to get to know his grandchildren well. This winter was an exception as he spent quality time with all of his grandchildren—taking each of them on special excursions and then developing individual photo albums of their time with Grandpa. He spent money on things he previously would have considered frivolous and unnecessary.

On the way home from Florida for spring break that year, all three of our sons remarked how they had never felt closer to Grandpa than they did at that time. One even expressed fear that his grandfather would die soon because he had really gotten to know him in a special way for the first time.

The following April, on his return to Michigan, Leonard stopped over for a few days' visit in Atlanta with his step-grandchildren. While there, he suffered further complications and had to undergo emergency open-heart surgery. Although the surgery itself was successful, he did not make it.

My husband Jim did not arrive at the hospital in time to see his father before he died. He phoned me around 9:00 p.m. to tell me of his father's death and of all the details he needed to take care of the following day.

At five minutes before midnight that evening, I was sitting on the edge of my bed reflecting on the day's events when I felt the presence of Jim's father with me. It did not surprise me since he and I had conversed many times regarding life after death and the differences between his traditional Christian views and my metaphysical ones. It seemed natural that he had chosen me as his venue to let us know that he was safe and secure on the Other Side.

I was aware of feeling slightly frightened at having Leonard present himself to me in spirit when I was alone in the house. Since I knew my husband would be open to and in need of his father's farewell visit, I spoke out loud, “Leonard, I know you want to let us know you're at peace and no longer in pain, but I would prefer that you go to Jim in Atlanta and in some way communicate this to him.” Instantly, I no longer felt his presence in the room.

I neglected to mention this event to my husband until he returned from his trip a few days later. As he was reporting the sequence of events over the last few days, I recalled Leonard's visit and asked Jim if anything had happened after 11:30 that evening. He hesitated and then said that at midnight he had had a profound spiritual experience. He related that he had gone to bed with his mind still flooded with concern for all the details he was responsible for taking care of the following day. As his mind was racing with concern for how he was going to accomplish everything, a general feeling of calm overtook him. He then physically experienced receiving a hug from his father along with the strong sense that he was not to worry and that everything would work out well.

Jim has no doubt that his father came to him in spirit as he so often had in life to comfort and reassure him and to tell him not to worry.

About Karen Christopherson, MSW, LMSW, CAAC

Karen is a relationship therapist and executive and personal life coach with extensive experience in corporate environments and private practice. For more information, visit her Web site at www.trilliumconsultants.com.