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A Kiss So Sweet

Phyllis Hotchkiss

Florida

AngelPM7@aol.com

http://duane-hotchkiss.memory-of.com/About.aspx

http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/park/4746/brian.html

In October of 2005, my husband Duane, who was my friend, lover, and life, was diagnosed with Stage 3 lung cancer. We were all very devastated when we heard the news. Duane was always so full of life, and to see him having to go through all of this was terrible. He remained positive, however, and was bound and determined to beat this. (He had already beaten both prostate and colon cancer.)

After various tests we found out that surgery was out of the question as the tumor was too close to the heart and bronchial tube, so the only option was to go through chemotherapy. He went through rounds of chemo; his last round was in January of 2006. He had a PET (Positron Emission Tomography) Scan which showed that the cancer had spread to his bones and to his brain. I took him to Muffett Cancer Center to see if there were anything else that they could do, but there was nothing. His only choice was to go through another three rounds of chemo. After one round he ended up in the hospital. The cancer was spreading rapidly

I promised him that he would not die in the hospital so he came home and hospice came in. He passed away in my arms with his family at his bedside. He was always skeptical but knew that I believed in “visits from heaven.” Soon after our son Brian was murdered, my children and I began receiving many messages from him. So Duane promised that, if it were possible, he would come to us.

After Duane passed away, I started seeing butterflies, always two together. One day I was out in the golf cart getting ready to go to the pool. Two of the most beautiful butterflies were flying around the front yard together. I said out loud to myself, “Brian and Duane, if that's you, please give me a sign.” All of a sudden they both flew over to the golf cart and flew three times around it and then flew off. I knew that it was Brian and Duane.

One afternoon I was lying back in my lounge chair watching a movie on TV. I shut my eyes to rest them. All of a sudden I could feel a presence over to the side of the chair. I knew someone was there, but I was not afraid at all. I tried to open my eyes because I knew it was my husband, but I could not get them to open. I wasn't sleeping as I could hear the television and people mowing their lawns. All of a sudden I felt Duane take my hand in his; I squeezed his hand, and it was so real. He picked my hand up, brought it to his lips, and kissed my fingers. I felt his kiss and wanted so badly to open my eyes to see him, but they wouldn't open. All of a sudden I felt myself rising from the chair going towards a light. That's when my eyes flew open, and I looked around for Duane.

It was the most wonderful “visit” as I knew my husband had been there even if it were only for a few minutes. Another time I was half awake and half asleep, and I felt him lying in bed with me holding my hand. I put my arm around him and fell into a deep sleep. When I woke up, of course, he wasn't there.

One night I was in a dead sleep and woke up sensing that someone was in the bedroom with me. It was very dark, but I could feel that someone was standing at the foot of my bed. I had no fear, though; as I knew it was a good presence. Then I heard someone saying in my ear, “Check the doors.” I got up in the dark and checked the garage door which I had left up; the sliding screen doors were not locked, and the door leading from the garage to the inside laundry room was unlocked also. I forgot to check them before I went to bed. I locked them all and went back to bed. I knew that it was Duane telling me to check the doors.

I still feel his presence; no matter where I am, I know he wants me to be happy so I live my life to the fullest and am the happiest person I can be every day. I miss him so much, but I know that someday, when God calls me home, I will once again be in his arms.