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1 Recognize Life as a Gift

If you really want to lift your spirit, you must realize first and foremost that life is a gift. It is not something to be taken for granted. I know because I am very guilty of doing just that. We all do. We get so caught up in our day-to-day routines that we don't stop to realize how lucky we truly are.

For me, it took the idea of death to awaken my very spirit and make me realize how precious life really is. I was diagnosed with melanoma, the worst form of skin cancer, at the age of thirty-five. Up until then, I never took my time too seriously. Nowadays, I appreciate everything about my life: my family, my friends, my ability to write, the beautiful evergreens in my backyard, etc. Ironically, being diagnosed with a potentially fatal cancer taught me about the value of life.

2 Slow Down

There's a Taoist saying which states that the emptiness inside of a jug is what makes it useful. At first, I didn't understand what this meant. But then I equated the saying to the significance of making time for the important things in life.

If a jug is full, we can't put anything else in it. Likewise, if we speed through life going from one routine to the next, we won't have the time to realize what's in front of us; we can't just be content and enjoy life because we are constantly struggling to maintain it.

Have you ever noticed that when you are on vacation, time seems to slow down? The days seem a little longer. The reason for this is simple: when we slow down, our lives slow down too, and we have more time to appreciate life and just be happy.

3 Open Yourself to Intimacy

Most people think of sexual relations when they hear the word intimacy. And, in fact, being intimate with another individual can mean that you are sexually active with that person. However, it can also mean the closeness you feel to a friend.

Most people are afraid to seek intimacy because they are afraid of getting hurt. But the joy that you stand to gain from opening up to another person; the warmth that you will feel from that mutual bond is well worth the risk. After all, as Alfred Lord Tennyson said, “ 'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”

4 Stop Believing Money Will Buy You Happiness

Richard Friedman once said, “Money will buy you a fine dog, but it will not make it wag its tail.” Although many are quick to assume that having more money will make them feel happy, research has shown time and time again that the relationship between happiness and money is, in fact, very slim.

Sure, you may experience a feeling of joy after finding out you've won the lottery for example, but this moment of bliss is not long-term and does not contribute to your overall level of happiness. In fact, excessive wealth can cause depression for those who are not accustomed to it.

I'm not saying that I wouldn't mind a little extra cash. God knows I could use it! But let's say I had three million dollars and I didn't have my husband or my children to love me, the money might make my life easier, but it certainly would not make me happier.

5 Exercise Your Mood

Everyone knows that participating in some form of physical exercise is important for our physical well-being. Exercise has long been known to reduce the risk of heart disease, high blood pressure, and high cholesterol. It has even been noted to reduce the risk of certain forms of cancer

But what many people don't realize, however, is that exercise is important to our psychological well-being as well. It helps to reduce anxiety, stress, and depression. So make the time to exercise. You can benefit substantially by exercising thirty to sixty minutes, three to five times a week. For those of you, who are thinking that you just don't have the time, try taking the stairs at work instead of the elevator; walk as much as you can; do yard work at home, etc. As they say, “Anything is better than nothing.”

6 Laugh Out Loud

“Humor might not have saved my life, but it definitely made my life,” says Michael Aronin. “At various turns, it has made my life bearable; at others, remarkable; at still others, joyful, committed, and amazing.” Michael, a comedian and motivational speaker with cerebral palsy, definitely knows the benefits of laughter

Not only does laughter make you feel good, but it also reduces stress, lowers blood pressure, and boosts our immune system by raising levels of infection-fighting cells in our body. Studies have shown that laughter releases endorphins which are the body's natural painkillers. So laugh as much as you can. Laughter is contagious; you'll make other feel good too!

7 Organize Your House

You have a “junk” drawer in the kitchen that you've been meaning to clean and a closet jam-packed with clothes that you've wanted to organize for months. Your basement is cluttered with boxes filled with things you no longer need or want. Well, now's the time to finally take a moment to bring a little order to your life. You'll be surprised how good you feel.

I share my desk with my husband and two young daughters. It is absolutely impossible for my desk not to become piled high with everything from coloring books and bills to my work. Needless to say I am constantly cleaning my desk because I find it impossible to concentrate with clutter all around me. It drives me absolutely crazy

Someday I would love to hire a feng shui expert to help me organize my home. Feng shui is an ancient Chinese practice of arranging space and placing furniture to be in harmony with the environment. Some believe that this practice has an effect on everything from physical and mental health to wealth and material gain.

Figure out what has been bothering you and work on organizing it. I promise to do the same.

8 Don't be Afraid to Say “I Love You”

I've never been one to hold my feelings inside. After only three weeks of dating my husband, I blurted out, “John, I love you,” as tears streamed down my face. He looked at me overjoyed to hear those words yet disappointed that he wasn't the one to say them first. For months afterward, every time he told me that he loved me, I would reply, “Yes, but I said it first.” It would always make us laugh.

Like John, many people are afraid to say “I love you.” They are either afraid that it's either too soon to express this sentiment or perhaps that the other person will not say it back. Well, I can understand these fears, but I am going to argue that it is well worth the risk of getting hurt. However, I don't believe it is ever too soon to say “I love you.” If it were too soon, then you wouldn't be feeling these emotions in the first place. Let that special someone in your life know exactly how you feel. Pay close attention to your heart. Not only is it therapeutic, but it will also let you know exactly where you stand in the relationship.

9 Show How You Feel

As the old adage goes, “Actions speak louder than words.” I must say that I couldn't agree more. What good is telling someone that you care if you don't act like you do? It doesn't matter how long you've known someone, we all need reassurance from time to time. Reassurances can be as simple as sending a card or setting aside time to take your friend out to dinner.

One of my closest friends once blurted out, “You don't care.” Her words shocked me. After many years of friendship, I couldn't understand why and how she could possibly think that I didn't care about her. But then I realized that I had been so caught up in my work and spending time with my new friends in my hometown that I had neglected our friendship.

10 Light Some Candles

Did you know that smell is the most heightened of all our senses? Research has shown that what we smell has a tremendous impact on how we feel, both mentally and physically. Perhaps the smell of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies reminds you of your childhood. Or maybe the smell of the brisk ocean breeze helps you to relax as you take a stroll on the beach.

The scents from essential oils are believed to help relieve many stress-related ailments as well as promote recovery of others including colds, insomnia, migraines, and muscle pains. For example, lavender oil is said to help you sleep while rosemary is noted to promote muscle relaxation. There are several varieties of scented candles and oils on the market. So have fun finding the scents that work best for you!

11 Quiet Your Mind

The act of meditation comes with many benefits including stress and anxiety reduction. Relaxing and quieting the mind can even reduce the risk of heart disease and other illnesses. There are various ways to meditate, but I'd like to share a simple one with only three steps.

1. Find a relaxed and peaceful location. While some prefer absolute silence, others prefer soft background music. Whatever works for you is fine.

2. Next find a comfortable position that you will be able to sit in for an extended period of time without tiring. This could be on the floor or on the sofa.

3. Now, once you're comfortable, close your eyes and focus on something. Perhaps, you might focus on a memory shared with a loved one. Or you can repeat a positive phrase over and over in your mind such as, “I am loved.” Relax and take a deep breath each time you say it. Release negative energy (fear, worry, anger, sadness) with each exhalation and take in positive energy (joy, happiness, contentment) with each inhalation.

Try not to get discouraged if you don't feel the benefits immediately. It may take some time and trial-and-error to find the meditation technique that's right for you.

12 Ask Yourself Some Tough Questions

Sometimes in life, you not only have to ask yourself some tough questions but you also have to answer them honestly. Questions like: What do I really want out of life? What bothers me the most? What do I wish I could change? Am I truly happy with my marriage/relationship? What do I need to make my life happier?

The key here is to be totally honest with yourself. Your answers will help you better understand who you truly are. Hence, you will be able to make better choices that create happiness and contentment for you.

13 Draw on Your Strengths; Acknowledge Your Weaknesses

We all know what our strengths and weaknesses are. But far too often, instead of drawing on our strengths, we tend to concentrate on the things we cannot do. I grew up with cerebral palsy. As a result of my disability, I have many weaknesses. As a little girl, it bothered me to no end that I could never go ice skating with my friends. I tried several times, but I just could not maintain my balance on skates.

Then one day I said to myself, “You may not be able to do a lot of things, but you can also do a lot more than some people.” After all, I had a disability. Yet I could walk and even run on my own. I could ride my bike. And I was a good writer. Through my writing and my imagination, in fact, I was able to do anything that I wanted to do. Whenever you find yourself confronting one of your weaknesses, look beyond it and find happiness in your strengths.

Think of the things you can do and not the things you can't do. Similarly, look at the things you have done in your life and not the things you have yet to do. Remember, your attitude is what makes all the difference.

14 Temper Your Expectations of Others

I must admit that this concept has been extremely difficult for me. We all expect certain things from our family and friends. But what I've found over the years is the more I expect from others, the more I'm apt to be disappointed.

In 2000, when I was diagnosed with skin cancer, I felt like I had the weight of the Empire State Building on my shoulders. I was miserably depressed. When I got the news, I expected certain things from my friends. I wanted everyone to stop what they were doing and run over to lend me a shoulder to cry on.

Very few did what I expected. So I found myself mad and resentful of all my other friends. As time went on, however, I realized that just because my other friends did not respond the way I had expected them to didn't mean that they didn't care. Everyone has his own way of dealing with things.

I came to realize that it's not fair to expect my friends or family to drop everything they were doing and run to me. I learned not to expect too much. This way I can continue to appreciate them regardless of whatever happens in my life.

15 Believe in Yourself

Sometimes you believe in everything and everybody except the person who is the most important: you!

No one will believe in you if you don't believe in you. It has to start with you. Get reacquainted with yourself. Know who you are and why you are that way. Tell yourself that you can accomplish anything. Reflect on how far you've come in life and think about where you want to go from here. Know what you want and make a feasible plan to make it happen.

If you believe in yourself, life becomes so much easier because you will fear less and achieve more. You will be more open to see and to take advantage of opportunities when they come up.

16 Tune into Nature

Millions of years ago, Homo sapiens first walked about the earth's natural terrain barefoot. Their bodies were so in tune with nature that they could easily walk over stones and tree branches. Doing so not only helped them survive during those primitive times, but it helped them develop a deep connection to the earth and fostered spiritual well-being.

I love the feeling of calmness that I experience when I walk on the beach barefoot. The sand and pebbles caressing my toes, heighten my sense of awareness, and make me feel like I'm one with the earth. Try it. Of course, you don't have to walk on the beach. If you prefer, it can be the grass in your backyard or even the rocks and dirt at the local park.

17 Embrace Change

As they say, there are two things that are certain in life: death and taxes. Well, I think one more thing should be added to the equation and that is change. It is not only everywhere, it is inevitable. There's not a thing we can do about it.

For example, we are all growing older every day. Again, there's not a thing we can do about how many years we have on this earth. Yet, people spend billions of dollars on cosmetics and plastic surgery in a desperate attempt to turn back the clock. Ironically, the stress that this sometimes causes can actually have the opposite effect. So why waste your much-needed energy trying to resist change? Instead, embrace and accept it.

18 Know that Things Are Not Always What They Seem

Things are not always what they seem. It sounds pretty logical and easy to accept, right? Well, no, not exactly. Realizing and accepting the fact that things aren't always how we perceive them is a very difficult milestone to pass. Let me give you an example.

I was born with severe bilateral hearing loss. When my husband and I first moved into our current house, we were amazed at how wonderful our neighbors were. Everyone was very friendly and would frequently yell out greetings from their front lawns. The only problem was that I frequently had no idea they were speaking to me. I was perceived as snobbish because I seemed not to want to engage in conversation. But the truth was I was very anxious to get to know my new neighbors, I just couldn't always hear them.

When I finally got around to telling my neighbors that I was hearing impaired, they all gave me this look like “Oh, so that's why you ignored me the other day.” The lesson here is to always give people second chances. If a friend was rude to you the other day, maybe it had nothing at all to do with you. Maybe she was going through some tough times. Ask for an explanation. Don't just assume things are one way or the other.

19 Have a PMA—Positive Mental Attitude

As I was growing up, my big brother Michael would often tell me whenever I was down or upset about something, “Remember, Josie you have to have a PMA.” When I was a kid, I used to stare back at him like I thought he was crazy. Today as an adult, however, I realize how wise my brother's words were.

The fact of the matter is we can't control everything that happens in this life; however, we can control how we respond to what happens. We can choose to focus on the positive.

When we do so, we give our spirit a boost. And when our spirits are high, we are better able to deal with whatever adversities may come our way.

Studies have shown that those who are positive tend to live longer and better lives. So, as my brother always used to say, remember to have a PMA.

20 Be Spontaneous; Have Fun

As I write this, I am nine months shy of my forty-third birthday. The truth is, however, mentally I don't feel any different than I did when I was twenty-five. The difference is now I am a mother and have a lot more responsibility than I did in my younger days. I am definitely not as carefree as I once was. But there are times when I long for my carefree days. I just want to be a kid again.

On those days, I may call a few of my friends and arrange a girls' night out or do something fun and spontaneous with my husband. Or maybe I'll call Lisa or Adriana, two of my oldest childhood friends, and talk about the old times. The years never truly pass between old friends; they only sweeten and become more memorable.