Читать книгу Taking the Stage - Judith Humphrey - Страница 6

In January 2001, I sat down to prepare a speech that I would deliver to 350 women managers and executives. Though I had enthusiastically accepted this opportunity to promote my firm, I felt a pang of regret after agreeing to speak.

The prospect was daunting. Although I had spoken to smaller groups of forty or fifty people, I had never addressed such a large business audience. I wouldn't be able to “chat” with them as I did with more intimate gatherings; I might not even be able to see them, with the stage lights in my eyes. To add to the pressure, my company – The Humphrey Group – had spent the past decade teaching others how to speak. Many of the women in my audience were executives who recently had received speech coaching from us – or from me personally. They'd likely expect flawless execution from me as head of the firm. Despite the fact that I'd prepared and rehearsed several times, I took the podium with some trepidation.

No wonder my opening words were: “Talk about pressure!” I added that now “the shoe – or the high heel – was on the other foot,” because I was the one being scrutinized. That moment of honesty grounded me and made them laugh. I went on to tell the women in the room that “this is what it means to take the stage.” I continued, “Every time you walk up to that podium, or stand in front of an audience, or meet with a client or a boss, there are expectations that you'll influence and inspire your listeners.” I then introduced my main message: “While we women all too often are reluctant to take the stage, we can and must do so if we want to realize our capacity for leadership.”1

The speech was an awakening for me – a realization that I did have it in me to take the stage in front of such a large group. The speech was transformational for my audience because so many in the room had never heard this message before. The concept of “taking the stage” had come to me as a result of all the coaching I and my colleagues had provided to women. Initially, we had trained mostly men – C-suite executives who wanted to be superb speakers. Gradually, as more and more women entered the picture, it became obvious that – unlike many of the men we'd trained – women were uncomfortable in the spotlight. We realized that they needed special encouragement to overcome their sense of inadequacy, put themselves out there, and speak as strong, confident leaders.

This was the first time I had delivered that message, and there was stillness in the room as I spoke. I had never seen such rapt attention. Afterward, the attendees approached me and urged me to create a seminar that would show them and the women reporting to them how to take the stage. We now offer that seminar both publicly and in-house to our client companies.

I am grateful to the women who were in that room that day and for the tens of thousands of women around the world who have attended our Taking the Stage program since then. They have taught me about the deep desire so many women have to express themselves more fully and more confidently. They have shown me the power of this book's message: women must come out from the wings and take the stage if they want to have a greater impact on their organizations and their own careers.

Overview of the Book

I've written this book so women can find their own strong voices, seize new opportunities to lead, and advance their careers. If women lack confidence, as Katty Kay and Claire Shipman make clear in their superb book, The Confidence Code, then it's time for women to take action on their own behalf.2 Taking the Stage puts forth a compelling strategy for reversing traditional female socialization, thereby helping us become more comfortable in the spotlight. It will show you how to take your rightful place on the corporate stage to advance yourself and your ideas. The Humphrey Group's work with tens of thousands of women for more than twenty-five years has given us a powerful source of insight that has shaped our assumptions about how women communicate in business and beyond.

The book has four parts.

Part 1 discusses how you can “Choose to Take the Stage.” Here you will learn how to take the stage mentally. It all begins with the conscious choice to come out from the wings and be fearless in your desire to be heard, every day – even when others may not agree with you. It means finding the confidence to accept that others want to see, hear, and be led by you. You'll discover how to silence that inner voice that says “You shouldn't speak up now,” or “You can't add any value to this discussion.” You will learn how to feel comfortable speaking up, discussing your accomplishments, showing courage, and holding your ground when others seek to undercut you or dissuade you from taking the stage.

Part 2 shows readers how to “Create a Strong Script” – either one that's written or one that's simply in your mind. Here you will discover how to take the stage verbally. Every time we speak – whether at the podium, at meetings, in one-on-one encounters, or on the phone – we create scripts. Sometimes we only have time to create a brief mental outline of what we want to say; in other instances we can put pen to paper. Whatever the format, your script should portray you and your ideas in the best light. Unfortunately, many women undermine their leadership by crafting weak scripts that call attention to their perceived inadequacies, or present them as perpetually busy, always sorry, often worried, confused, or stressed. A woman might say, “I'm sorry, it was my fault,” “Don't mind me, I'm having a bad day,” “I'm buried in work.” This part of the book will show you how to script yourself as a confident leader, not only with strong language, but also with a clear message, a persuasive structure, an opening grabber that gets the audience's attention, and a closing call to action. You will learn how to craft compelling scripts for all situations – from formal meetings and career discussions to elevator conversations.

Part 3 explains how to “Unlock the Power of Your Voice.” Here you will discover how to take the stage vocally. We should use our voices as instruments of leadership; yet many women reduce this power by softening or sweetening their tones, or rushing so no one can interrupt them. They also often lift their voices at the end of sentences, which makes them sound as though they are asking a question rather than speaking decisively. Such “upspeak” makes women sound unsure of themselves. This part will teach you to overcome such minimizing vocal patterns and reclaim the true power of your voice.

Part 4 shows you how to “Stand Out on Stage.” Here you will learn how to take the stage physically. Having a strong physical presence is important for leaders and shows others that you are confident and capable. Women often project a less than confident physical presence. Their minimizing body language can involve everything from poor posture, small gestures, and furtive or weak eye contact to ingratiating facial expressions and clothing that distracts from their leadership. This part of the book shows you how to project a strong, self-affirming physical presence.

In sum, the four parts of the book will make clear how to take the stage mentally, verbally, vocally, and physically.

This book does not advocate that women try to become men or simply agree to play by men's rules. Rather, Taking the Stage calls on women to develop a more forceful approach to leadership and to make certain that their voices and ideas are heard. Self-confidence and assertiveness do not belong to men alone, although these qualities are often associated with the “male” style of leadership. Such strengths are a woman's birthright, too.

Nor does arguing that women need to become bolder and more assertive suggest that we should dismiss the special qualities women bring to their leadership. Dr. Judy Rosener writes in a Harvard Business Review article, “Ways Women Lead,” that “effective leaders don't come from one mold…[Women's] nontraditional leadership style is well suited to the conditions of some work environments and can increase an organization's chances of surviving in an uncertain world.”3 Indeed, women's collaborative style of leadership is critical to today's organizations. Women listen well, demonstrate empathy, work well together, and can be extremely supportive. Women are also more likely to develop other women.4 In their book The Athena Doctrine, John Gerzema and Michael D'Antonio aptly conclude that “the world would be a better place if men thought more like women.”5

But by themselves, the “female” qualities of leadership can produce an overemphasis on others and an underemphasis on ourselves. With such a focus, many women lose out on jobs, promotions, kudos, air time, and power. Women need to supplement their “female” approach with the self-assertiveness that men display. If women follow the path recommended in this book, they will be embracing both what we think of as “male” and “female” qualities and achieving a holistic leadership style.

How difficult will it be for women to develop this new style of leadership, which combines “male” and “female” qualities? And to put the issue more broadly, how difficult will it be for corporate cultures to change? Some assert that there are “social norms that are so gendered and so stereotyped that even though we think we've gone past them, we really haven't.”6 But in the firms that want to make progress in this area, much has been accomplished. Changing the course of history – or corporate history – is not easy. It's time now for women to move beyond negative assumptions and look to themselves for the courage and determination needed to rise through the ranks and create a new model for female leadership.

Male leaders also have a vested interest in this positive transformation of female leadership. John Montalbano, chief executive officer of RBC Global Asset Management, told me in an interview, “If you have a strong culture, the professionals in your organization have a keen interest in winning. Winning ultimately means having the best talent around the table. And when you identify great talent regardless of gender or race, you must foster it and allow it to have a meaningful contribution within the organization.”

Our Time Is Now!

Why is the need for this book so pressing? In some respects women have made great strides. Women today are more educated and professionally ready than they have ever been. Young women are now more likely than young men to enroll in and graduate from higher education.7 Women receive nearly 60 percent of college degrees, up from one-third in 1960.8 Some have called this the “feminization of higher education.”9

But despite those gains in education and the increasing number of women in professional programs, study after study shows that very few females reach the higher echelons of leadership and power. Women's progress up the corporate ladder – in America and around the world – by all accounts has been painfully slow.10 The New York Times sums it up: “Men still control the most important industries, especially technology, occupy most of the positions on the lists of the richest Americans, and continue to make more money than women who have similar skills and education.”11

This lack of progress hurts companies as well as individual women. Studies by the research firm Catalyst show that corporations in which more women are on the board and in the top executive ranks have higher earnings and better returns on investment.12 Women are not only important consumers, their values shape our society in ways that differ from their male counterparts. They are also an extraordinary source of talent. Companies ignore them at great risk to the bottom line.

In a Fortune magazine article, Warren Buffet emphasizes his belief that promoting women makes for good business. He writes, “Women are a major reason we will do so well…We've seen what can be accomplished when we use 50 % of our human capacity. If you visualize what 100 % can do, you'll join me as an unbridled optimist about America's future.” He concludes, “Fellow males, get on board.”13

The implications of Taking the Stage extend far beyond personal development. We in The Humphrey Group have seen a huge groundswell in corporate commitment to this program. It's no longer just women who see this need. Male executives champion this program because they want their organizations to perform at the highest possible levels. One male head of an investment banking division was the first in his organization to introduce our program to two hundred women and, coupled with other initiatives and development programs, the results have been remarkable. His talent pool has grown and women are increasingly being promoted into the executive ranks. More women at the firm are making it clear to their managers that they believe their performance warrants consideration for a promotion. As part of the selection process, the women used all their Taking the Stage skills to impress the committee and get promoted into the executive suite. So the future lies in our own hands.

How Women Will Advance

Steps by corporations, governments, and other groups are key in helping women advance. Still, the philosophy that underlies this book is that women themselves must accelerate their upward climb. They need to show others they are confident, capable leaders who believe in themselves and can inspire that belief in others. They must act on their own behalf by taking the stage.

Taking the stage involves speaking up, being forthright, expressing your viewpoint in meetings. It means not pulling back when challenged or when your inner voice seeks to undermine you. It means accepting praise for a job well done, rather than saying, “It was nothing” or “My team did it.” It means stepping up to whatever opportunity presents itself, and having the strength to say, “Here's what I believe.” It also means putting yourself forward for leadership roles or more senior positions, even though you may feel you're not fully qualified. In large and small ways, it involves showing the world (and yourself) that you are a person to be reckoned with and that you believe in yourself and can inspire others to believe in you too. This path involves risk, but the rewards of having your voice heard and being respected for speaking up far outweigh the uncertainties you may feel as you step forward.

This process of taking the stage is indeed the most important thing women can do for themselves if they want to advance. The stage provides a positive, motivational metaphor for women who wish to succeed in the business world. The “glass ceiling” suggests a limitation on what women can achieve – that they will eventually bang their heads against a hidden barrier that will keep them from reaching their companies' top echelons. In contrast, the stage is a rich and positive metaphor for women's advancement. Every day provides women with new opportunities to shine on some sort of stage – in boardrooms, meeting rooms, offices, conference and lecture halls, and in chance encounters in corridors and elevators.

As founder and past president of a global consulting firm, I have seen that women's communication style comprises their greatest challenge. This is true regardless of rank, culture, or industry. Too often women are reluctant to speak up in meetings; to apply for new positions; to pose new ideas or challenge someone else who has spoken. They are hesitant to discuss their accomplishments. They undersell themselves in job interviews and business interactions. They minimize themselves mentally, verbally, vocally, and physically when they speak. Their style is weaker and less compelling than is needed for them to lead others. The result is that many women sideline themselves, rather than standing in the spotlight and telling others confidently what they think.

On a daily basis we receive feedback and written testimonials making clear that the program that has inspired this book helps women succeed. One manager observed, “Your program has changed my life. The impact at first was subtle: I stopped nodding my head, as though agreeing with everything everybody said. I also stopped apologizing and I began to stand up straighter. I started dressing differently – more professionally. I volunteered to lead safety meetings in our Hydro office. I am more focused on where I am going because I now set career goals whereas before I had never really set goals. People perceive me as more of a leader.”

Another woman told us, “I'm in a male-dominated industry and petite. What I've learned is that I have to be able to stand up to men that are three times my size and say, ‘Look, I'm serious. I know what I'm talking about and this is how it's going to be.’ ‘Yes, Ma'am’ is their response when I talk that way.”

Taking the stage doesn't always involve major, career-changing events; it might simply mean raising one's hand in a meeting, offering to lead a project, providing a dissenting opinion. The starting point is to realize that you are always on stage —whether you are in your firm's cafeteria or at a networking event with senior executives, customers, or peers.

This learning applies in your personal and community life as well as the business world. One woman explained, “I'm a member of the board of governors of a private golf club, along with twelve men. I had always sat quietly and let the men discuss the finances and other topics; I was reluctant to say, ‘Well, hang on a minute; this is what we need to do.’ Since completing Taking the Stage I have definitely spoken up and the men have paid attention. I have gotten a lot of positive comments and was recently elected to be the president of our association!”

Such opportunities make up the life of any business woman. The success you have in these situations will depend on your ability to recognize these as leadership moments, and to know how to seize these opportunities to influence and inspire. Now, more than ever, it's time for women to take the stage. This book will give you a new way of looking at yourself, a new center-stage mind-set and skills, and a stronger resolve to move beyond whatever external barriers you face and seize every opportunity to shine and succeed in your career and in life.