Читать книгу His Brother's Bride - Judith Bowen - Страница 8

CHAPTER ONE

Carlisle, Minnesota

November

WHAT IN HEAVEN’S NAME had happened to her friend? She’d gone to the ladies’ room nearly fifteen minutes ago.

Abby played with her empty glass and tried to ignore the curls of cigarette smoke that floated lazily in the overheated air. The atmosphere in the bar was thick with sweat and sawdust and booze and hormones belonging to both sexes. Plus the music. She could hardly hear herself think.

She wasn’t used to this. The one gin and tonic she’d had was making her feel dizzy. That, and the music. As soon as Marguerite returned from the ladies’ she was going to ask if they could leave.

Abby felt thoroughly uncomfortable sitting by herself at a table along the wall. She hoped no one would think she was looking for company. From time to time she glanced around quickly, trying not to meet anyone’s eyes. If her father could see her now. If the good folks in Wicoigon. South Dakota, could see her now. Mavis and Perry and the well-meaning Viola Palmerston, the town librarian, the widow who’d had been so helpful to her when Frank died.

Damn. There was a big cowboy at the bar who she swore kept watching her. It gave her the creeps. She didn’t dare look any closer. Besides, without her glasses on, what could she see, anyway? That had been an exercise in vanity, leaving her glasses at the motel room, thinking she looked better without them. Who would care?

“Another one, ma’am?” The waiter paused briefly, his tray loaded with beer glasses, pitchers and a stack of flimsy foil ashtrays.

“No, thanks.” She shook her head, not sure the waiter could hear her in the din. She was getting out of here. If her so-called friend didn’t show in another two. minutes-Abby glanced at her watch—she was leaving without her. Trust Marguerite to go off with someone else, or sit down at another table.

Abby would just take a taxi to the motel. Tomorrow was a busy day for Wicoigon Jersey Farm at the stock show, and she could use the sleep. Her father would never forgive her if she blew this fair. He lived and breathed Wicoigon Jerseys, and if he hadn’t had a bad fall last week, he’d be here at the agricultural exhibition himself, showing the family company’s top young bulls and heifers with Pepper and Will.

But he wasn’t. Abby was in charge on her own. Pepper and Will, both eighteen, her niece and nephew, twins, weren’t around much except to fulfill their duties of mucking out the stalls and feeding the cattle. They were supposed to be her assistants, but Abby did most of the showing and grooming herself.

Not that she minded. She loved cows. She’d grown up with the gentle doe-eyed Jerseys and they were still her favorite breed, although she hadn’t worked on the farm for quite a few years, since before she’d married Frank. The Carlisle exhibition brought cattle of all breeds, both dairy and beef. It was one of the big stock fairs of the year, and Carlisle blue ribbons were valuable additions to any breeder’s showroom wall. Wicoigon Jerseys already had nearly a dozen.

Everything had changed. Frank was dead now, nearly two years ago. And then last year... when her baby daughter had been born dead—

Abby released her empty glass from nerveless fingers. She still couldn’t bear to think of it. People said things happened for a reason. People said you’d get over it. People said it wasn’t as though you’d gotten to know the child.... That was the stupidest of all the things people said. She’d so hoped she’d have the baby at least-something of Frank, to keep with her always. She’d longed for that baby, as she’d longed for nothing else on earth. And then? An accident of birth, they said. Couldn’t be helped.

And now Abby Steen had no one and nothing.

Frank had been killed in a traffic accident when the rig he was driving smashed into another rig on an interstate in Georgia. Her husband of just over three years had been working extra time to supplement her teaching salary, in the hopes that they’d be able to buy a house of their own, now that they had a family on the way. Abby had been three months pregnant when Frank was killed.

How could such terrible things happen to one person? Her mother had told her that everything happens for a purpose. How could that be true? What horrible purpose was there in two gentle, innocent souls like her husband and her infant daughter dying like that? She’d named the baby, over the objections of her doctor and her parents, who’d said it would only make the pain worse. Mary Francesca, for Frank. How could the pain be any worse?

Sometimes Abby didn’t think she had anything to live for anymore. She had nothing to hope for. But she stopped that thought as soon as it hatched, as she’d done so often, out of habit There were her parents, approaching retirement age. They needed her, in their way. And her older sister, Meg. Abby wasn’t especially close to her family, but she’d had to lean on them in the past few years. She’d always be grateful that they’d been there for her.

Still, the grief had withered her soul until she sometimes thought she was more like a dried-up sixty-year-old spinster than a young woman. Just twenty-eight. Her friend Marguerite had had to cajole her even to agree to come out this evening. She’d have preferred to stay in the motel and watch something on television and go to bed early.

Which was what she should have done, obviously. Now she had to haul herself out of this den of iniquity, as her mother probably would have called it. She’d had her gin, she’d lost her friend, and now it was time to get out of there and get some sleep.

“Ma’am?”

The rich baritone at her left shoulder had her spinning. She reached up to push aside the blond lock that had snapped across her nose as she turned. “Yes?”

She sounded almost angry. Schoolmarmish. She hadn’t meant to. Nor had she been in a classroom for quite a while.

“I’d like to buy you a drink, if I may?” It was the cowboy she’d been sure was examining her from across the dance floor, from his position at the bar. He was big, as she’d thought. Tall and handsome and friendly looking.

Of course, what would she know? She hadn’t dated since Frank’s death. She had very little interest in men, although she dreaded the loneliness that seemed to surround her.

This man had a mustache. A thick, luxuriant brown mustache. Otherwise he was neatly shaved and his hair was freshly bartered. He wore standard-issue Western-type clothing, right down to the string tie and plaid shirt, the brand-new Wranglers and fancy belt buckle. He didn’t wear a hat, which she supposed was a departure from the norm.

“Y-yes. I suppose so.” Abby realized how ungracious she must sound. She’d noticed his name tag—Jesse Winslow, Winslow Herefords, Glory, Alberta-pinned to his shirt pocket. He must have forgotten to remove it when he left the show barn. So he was at least associated with the stock exhibition.

He introduced himself, reaching up to tip his nonexistent hat. She supposed it was a habit. She felt self-conscious suddenly when he pulled out the chair Marguerite had occupied. The waiter had already taken her friend’s empty glass away.

“Mind if I sit here?”

“Er, no.” Abby abruptly sat back down in the chair she’d just vacated. Where was Marguerite?

“And you’re—?” The cowboy smiled.

For a moment Abby wondered what he was smiling at, then realized she hadn’t introduced herself.

“Abby Steen.” She reached across the table on impulse and shook his hand. Be normal. Businesslike. His hand was large and warm. Callused. The hand of a working man. “I’m, uh, here with a friend. She’s just, urn, left for a moment—” Abby cast worried eyes in the direction of the ladies’ room. Still no Marguerite. Par for the course.

“Are you here with the stock show?”

“Yes. Wicoigon Jerseys. In South Dakota.”

“Ah. A farmer.” The cowboy smiled again. He had a gorgeous smile, Abby decided despite herself. And he really was a very handsome man. Healthy-looking, virile—she glanced quickly at his hands on the table—and single.

“You could say that. My father’s the farmer, actually. I’m just helping him out this year, showing the stock.”

“Your dad here?”

“No. He had an accident last week and wasn’t able to come. I’m here with a couple of assistants. My niece and nephew.”

“I see.” The cowboy caught the attention of the waiter and ordered another gin for her and a beer for himself. “A family affair,” he finished, with a glance toward her after the waiter left. His eyes were very blue.

“What about you?” Did this qualify as social chitchat?

“I’m here with one helper. My neighbor’s boy. My brother and I raise Herefords up in Alberta. Glory. Don’t suppose you’ve ever heard of the place.”

Abby smiled and shook her head. “Can’t say as I have,” she replied, unconsciously imitating the stranger’s speech patterns.

“We’ve just got a few young bulls in the show this year. Normally my brother comes with me and we drive a couple of stock trucks down, but this fall he decided to stay home.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. He’s an ornery son of a gun. Not much for shows. He prefers the back-home stuff. Cutting hay and pulling calves. Minding the books. Which is just fine by me.” Jesse Winslow smiled again and his eyes crinkled and a pulse bobbled low in Abby’s midriff. She realized with horror that she found him attractive—as a man. This hadn’t happened, this feeling, since she’d first met Frank at a college track meet years ago. Maybe she’d better leave while she was ahead-

“G and T for the lady?” The waiter put down the glasses with a flourish and Abby watched as Jesse paid for the drinks and gave the waiter a sizable tip. Too late, she realized she should have of fered to pay for her own drink. Although he had asked....

“Where’s your friend?” The cowboy raised his beer glass slightly, then took a leisurely draft.

“Oh, heck.” Abby frowned, remembering. “She went to the bathroom and didn’t come back. She probably met someone on the way there and took off.”

Jesse met her annoyed gaze with a look of surprise. “Some friend. She. do that often?”

“That’s Marguerite, I’m afraid.” Abby tried a shaky laugh, as though she was used to people treating her like that. “I’ve known her for years, off and on. Her people farm in southern Minnesota somewhere. Shorthorns. I’ve met her at a lot of the same shows. You know how it is.”

“Uh-huh.” The cowboy took another drink of his beer and made a quick survey of the room. Abby followed his glance. The band, almost indistinguishable in the corner behind a haze of smoke, had started up an old-fashioned swing tune, and couples were moving onto the sawdust-covered dance floor.

Abby felt comfortable with the handsome stranger, all of a sudden. Maybe it was the second gin. Maybe it was the realization that he’d known exactly what she meant—regulars on the show circuit met people from year to year at the same events. You became friends with someone you saw for only a day or two, two or three times a year. Friendships were struck quickly when there was no time to waste in preliminaries. It was easy to make a mistake that way, but then a few days later, you pulled out of town and left your mistakes behind you. You had a few months, maybe a year to think things over. Generally, by the time you saw the person again, if there’d been any problems, they were all forgotten.

“Dance?” The cowboy was smiling at her and holding out his hand.

Impulsively, Abby took it. Why not? She hadn’t danced in ages, and the music was catchy.

The floor was crowded by now, and Jesse Winslow held her close. Abby’s head was reeling. She breathed in his masculine scent, so near-leather and sweat and a faint, pleasant manufactured scent of some kind, probably aftershave. His hand on her waist was firm and decisive. He steered her clear of any collisions with the other dancers, a few of whom weren’t all that sober. Her hand in his felt very protected, very safe. He was an excellent dancer.

Trouble was, she couldn’t think of a thing to say.

Neither could he, it seemed. The silence became heavier and heavier, and Abby’s imagination ran wild. One instant she pictured this man, the man she’d met all of twenty minutes ago, naked, all muscle and brawn and hairy broad chest. Then, horrified, she clamped down on her thoughts and the next thing she knew she imagined him kissing her, unsnapping her bra....

Omigoodness. What kind of lonely, sex-starved creature was she?

“Oh, there you are, Abigail!” Marguerite yelled, as though it were Abby who’d done the deserting. Marguerite was in the arms of a tall, thin blond man wearing an expensive-looking gray Western-cut suit. Abby recognized one of the organizers of the stock show. Marguerite obviously had her eye on the main chance....

“I see you’ve met someone—good! Take your mind off your troubles, hon, just like I told you—” Then, when Marguerite met her again a few seconds later, after the man in the suit had spun her, she continued, “I’ll be going to a party with Stan here-” She winked at Abby. “Maybe you could take a cab to the motel? Or drive my car?”

She was being ditched. Abby nodded, embarrassed, and was glad when Jesse steered her discreetly in a different direction.

“Your friend, I presume?” he said, gazing down at her.

He was so close. Abby caught her breath. “Yes.” She was determined to offer no excuses, either for her choice of friends or for Marguerite’s rude behavior.

“You want to drive her car home?”

“No. I’ll take a cab.” Abby looked up as he held her a little closer. “I don’t like to drive when I’ve been drinking, especially someone else’s car.”

“Drinking!” Jesse laughed. “How many?”

“That’s my second, the one you bought,” Abby replied. What was so funny?

“Your second, eh? Well, you aren’t exactly drunk, Abby Steen.”

“No. But I’m not used to it, either. I feel a little, uh—”

“You okay?” He looked concerned.

“I’m fine. I just feel a little queasy, that’s all.”

They danced one more number, then returned to their table and Abby finished her drink. Her head was foggy. She was more than ready to go back to the motel. She dug in her purse for change, coming up with everything but a quarter. Jesse Winslow watched her for a few moments, then stood and held her chair.

“Here. Let me take you home. I’m about ready to leave, anyway.”

“Heavens, no! I’ll take a cab. Can you give me change for a dollar?” She smiled, feeling extraordinarily foolish.

“Forget it.” He sounded very firm. “I’ll drive you.”

Abby closed her purse and got to her feet. Jesse put his arm casually around her shoulders, to guide her through the dancers, now thickly crowding the dance floor. Abby couldn’t see Marguerite. Oh well, she’d more or less said goodbye already.

The evening was crisp and cold, and Abby pulled her jacket more tightly around her. She took a deep breath, which cleared the smoke from her lungs. Early November in northern Minnesota could be colder than this. At least, there wasn’t any snow on the ground yet.

Jesse led the way to a late-model pickup truck with dual rear wheels, probably the vehicle that had pulled the Winslow stock trailer to Minnesota from Alberta. He handed her into the passenger side, not speaking until he’d climbed into the vehicle and shut the door.

He paused, his hand on the ignition. “Where you staying?”

“The Spruce Valley Inn.”

“That’s the one right near the exhibition grounds?”

“Yes.” The town’s motels and hotels were pretty well full this week with the out-of-towners visiting the stock show. Her niece and nephew were staying with some friends they’d met on previous trips to Carlisle with Abby’s father, their grandfather. Abby wasn’t keen on that situation, as she couldn’t keep an eye on them the way she was sure her sister would want her to, but on the other hand, she was able to get the early nights she preferred.

“I’m just down the street. At the Alta Vista.”

“Oh.” Abby felt like a fool. She was no conversationalist. Why hadn’t she taken a cab? They were strangers, although they’d danced and he’d bought her a drink and she supposed he must be interested in her. They had nothing to say to each other, nothing in common except that they both knew the difference between a Black Angus and a Holstein. They weren’t even in the same area there--he was beef and she was dairy.

He drove to her motel through the empty streets, not more than a five-minute drive. He didn’t say anything. She supposed that was another thing they , had in common-neither of them was much for chitchat. Abby looked out the window. The shops were dark, of course, but so were most of the cafés and restaurants. Even the movie theater was deserted. Not even midnight yet, but it seemed the good folks of Carlisle went to bed with the chickens, as her father said. Abby smiled to herself wryly. A live wire like her would fit right into this kind of town.

Abby had often wondered about the kind of town she’d fit into. She’d grown up in Wicoigon. She’d gone to school there, then lived in Grand Falls during her college years. She’d moved back to Wicoigon to teach elementary school. She and Frank had honeymooned in Hawaii, a big splurge that had taken all their meager savings, but that was about as far as she’d traveled. She’d only been out of state a handful of times besides her honeymoon. Twice to a 4-H meet and once to a friend’s wedding in Nebraska. The occasional stock fair back when she traveled with her father. Sometimes she recalled the days she’d yearned to see the world, meet other people, go to the places she’d read about in books. All that had changed when she married Frank, and then when both Frank and the baby they’d wanted so much passed out of her life. Everything was different now. She’d gone to earth like an injured fox; she’d turned to her family and the town she’d always known. She had nothing else to turn to. Neither arrangement was perfect, but then life so rarely was.

They were at her motel. She’d have to say something....

She had her hand on the door of the truck. “Well, thanks—”

“Wait a minute. You going to be all right?”

“Me?” Abby was slightly bewildered.

“Yeah. You said you weren’t used to drinking.”

“Oh, I’ll be fine,” she said, laughing weakly. “I’m not drunk, you know.”

“I’ll walk you to your room. Make sure you get in all right. Stay there.” He came around and opened the truck door for her and she scrambled out, in a fairly unladylike manner, she was sure.

He took her arm as they walked toward her door on the lower level, number 101. The sidewalk was frosty, and she was grateful for the support as the leather soles of her shoes slid a little.

“I’m fine now,” she said nervously. Did he expect a good-night kiss? What did a person a woman—do in a situation like this? Abby glanced toward the well-lighted front office of the inn. At least there were plenty of people around.

“Your friend, the one who never came back for you, she said you needed to take your mind off something. Are you in some kind of trouble? Is there anything I can do? Any way I can help?”

This Canadian cowboy, this stranger, seemed genuinely concerned.

Abby stared at him, his eyes looking black under the artificial light of the streetlamp, and to her horror, she felt hot tears running down her cheeks. Something crumpled beneath her breastbone, something she’d clung to like life itself for nearly two years.

“Not unless you can undo the hand of God,” she whispered rawly. “Can you? My little girl was born dead. My husband died two years ago, before our baby was born,” she rasped, barely recognizing her voice. “That’s what Marguerite was talking about when—” Her voice ran out. It just stopped.

Abby swiped at her wet cheeks, suddenly angry that. this man had mentioned the one subject that belonged to her alone. She tried to jam the key into the lock.

“Oh, damn. Honey, I’m so sorry-” She felt his hand on her shoulder. He sounded shocked. “I had no idea-I’d never have mentioned it if I had. I thought it was some problem with your stock—”

Abby actually managed a strangled laugh. She jabbed at the lock again—damn this stupid key!—and then Jesse took it from her and unlocked the door himself. The door swung open, the room faintly redolent of air freshener and travelers’ shoes and damp carpet. If only it was a problem with the damn cows. If only it was something like a missing show halter or a lame foot or a digestive problem one of the heifers was having. Dysentery. Heaves. Hoof-and-mouth. Brucellosis. Mad cow disease. She felt hysteria rise within her. The quicker she could get rid of this cowboy, the better.

But he was right behind her. “You sit down, Abby,” he said, flicking on the lights and shutting the door. “I’ll make you some coffee.”

Abby sat heavily on the bed, dropping her handbag to the floor. She wiped her eyes with the backs of her hands. She stared at the unfamiliar sight of the tall, handsome stranger, bustling about her motel room, ripping open the package of complimentary coffee, dumping it into the filter, filling the reservoir with water, turning on the miniature coffee machine, then assembling two mugs by fitting cone-shaped plastic inserts into the plastic receptacles provided. Disposable. Discardable. Sterile.

A dam burst in Abby. She sobbed, bolt upright on the bed, her hands in front of her face. She felt the bed sag as Jesse sat down beside her. She felt him put his arm around her, heard the helpless mutterings of manly comfort as he tried to calm her. What a situation for him to be in!

“Please go,” she said, pushing him away. “Please leave me alone. There’s nothing you can do. It’s over, it’s past. There’s nothing anyone can do—”

“I’ll leave. But I want to see you settle down a little first. Drink some coffee. Here, just get it all out, honey.” He put both arms forcibly around her and suddenly Abby collapsed into them. It felt good to lean on someone. Finally. She laid her cheek against his shirt and wept He stroked her hair awkwardly and kept muttering to her.

The relief. The terrible loneliness of weeping by herself... She was not alone now. She was with a strong, handsome stranger. A stranger who, oddly, cared what was happening to her. Of course, anyone would be flummoxed to have a woman collapse on him, the way she had....

“Look, honey. Let me get up and get you a cof fee. I think it’s ready.”

Abby sat upright again, stiff as starch, shocked at how she’d welcomed his arms around her. Briefly. She watched as he poured two cups—“Cream—this whitener stuff? Sugar?”

She nodded. “Cream.” She blew her nose loudly on the tissue she’d taken out of her handbag.

He stirred the coffee and brought it to her. He handed her one cup, then sat in an armchair beside the bed and carefully pulled the small bedside table toward her so they could share it. She set her cup down, too.

She tried to smile. “Thank you.”

“Hell.” He looked ill at ease. He took a sip of his coffee and made a face. “Whew!”

She laughed. “That bad?”

“Pretty bad.”

They sat in silence again, as though the emotional storm of the past ten minutes hadn’t happened. Abby realized he wasn’t comfortable discussing it. She realized that, like so many men, he’d just as soon stick to the present, to the action possible in any situation. The coffee. The news. She thought she’d seen him glance longingly at the silent television in the corner. No way she was turning it on; he wasn’t a guest. He’d be on his way the instant he finished his coffee. She was fine now. She’d be okay. She didn’t know what had come over her.

Anyway. It was done. It was past. She felt a little better now.

Suddenly Jesse put his cup down and stood. “I’d, uh, I’d better be on my way now.”

Abby got up, too. She was only a short distance from him. She had to look up to meet his gaze. “I—I want to thank you—” she began.

He stepped forward and put his arms gently around her. He pushed back a strand of hair that stuck damply to the side of her cheek. His eyes didn’t meet hers. He seemed to be studying her, as though committing her features to memory. “You’re a fine woman, Abby Steen. A fine beautiful woman.” His voice was rich and deep.

“Oh—”

“Listen to me. It’ll come out all right in the end. Believe me. I know you’ve heard that kind of thing before, but it’s true. You’ll, uh-” He met her gaze then and stared at her for a second or two. It seemed like a very long time to Abby’s overstretched nerves. “Troubles are bad but uh, you’ll—” he began again. He stopped and swallowed.

“Oh, damn,” he whispered, then leaned down and brought his mouth to hers and Abby took a long, deep, shaky breath and kissed him back. It felt good, it felt right. It had been so very long since she’d had a man’s arms around her, pressing her against him, as though imprinting every curve of her body on his, as though he ached for her as she ached for him. For someone.

He kissed her deeply, and she felt the vibrations of what was happening right down to her calves, along her thighs, the inside of her thighs, her breasts.... She clung to him, eager to meet his kisses, to taste all of him.

Then she felt his fingers, strong and expert, on the hook of her bra, through her blouse, pinching, succeeding... yes, she exulted silently as she felt her bra loosen and her breasts spring free. Just as I dreamed, just as I imagined...

Just as I so desperately need to wipe the pain away. For a few hours. A night, a day. Maybe forever.

“Don’t leave me,” she heard herself whisper. “Stay with me. Please.”