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Chapter Twenty-Three

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‘Come on, Sam,’ said Joel. ‘Here’s Nanny. We’re going to take her out for the day.’

His mother was waiting outside her flat, leaning on her stick. He always told her not to do that, but she nearly always insisted on being ready at least half an hour before he arrived, ‘just in case’. She never explained in case of what, and in vain Joel tried to persuade her it wouldn’t be much good if she tripped over, but she dismissed him with a ‘Don’t be daft, I can still get out of the house on my own, you know.’

‘Nana!’ said Sam, clapping his hands as Joel helped his mother to the car.

‘Who’s my beautiful boy?’ Joel’s mum kissed her grandson.

‘You do realize he’s actually saying banana, don’t you, Mum?’ teased Joel. ‘It’s his favourite fruit.’

‘Shh,’ said his mother. ‘He knows his beautiful nana when he sees her, don’t you, darling?’

‘Nana, Nana!’ Sam said again.

‘See,’ said his mum with a smug smile, ‘he does know it’s me.’

When they’d got to the old country pub Joel had chosen for lunch, he produced a folder with some of the documents he and Kezzie had found.

‘Oh, Mum, I thought you might be interested in looking at some of the stuff Kezzie and I have found out about Edward Handford,’ said Joel. ‘We’re going to put together an exhibition for the Heartsease Summer Fete. Or rather Kezzie is. She seems to be pretty good at that kind of thing.’

‘That’s wonderful,’ said his mum. ‘And how’s the garden getting on?’

‘Brilliant,’ said Joel. ‘Kezzie’s done a great job. Next time, I’ll bring you over to have a look. Anyway, we’re a bit stuck with some of the photos, I’m not sure who everyone is and I wondered if you’d know.’

‘Show me,’ said his mother, as she put her reading glasses on.

‘Ah, now, that,’ she said, pointing out a picture of the family in the garden, ‘that picture I remember. My grandmother had a copy on her wall. She was Lily’s youngest daughter, you know. Her name was Tilly. That’s her, there,’ Joel’s mother pointed to a young woman who looked very sombre, ‘and that’s Connie, the eldest, and Harry the son. Very sad, that. He’s the one who died in the First World War. Edward and Lily are sitting down.’

‘Do you know who this is?’ Joel pointed to a young man in military uniform, standing next to Connie.

‘Oh, that must be Connie’s fiancé,’ said Mum.

‘I thought Connie married a bank manager,’ said Joel.

‘Oh, she did eventually. Uncle Phillip,’ said Mum. ‘But she lost her first fiancé at the Somme. Very tragic.’

‘Why didn’t we have anything to do with them and the house?’ said Joel.

‘I’m not really sure, to be honest,’ said Mum. ‘Connie and Tilly fell out. Something to do with Tilly’s husband, my granddad – whether Connie was in love with him or not, I don’t know. But anyway, Connie stayed looking after Edward here, on her own, and later when she married, Uncle Phillip moved in too. We only came to visit Edward a couple of times when I was small, and both times Connie was out.’

Her face looked dreamy. ‘I remember going as a child once, and meeting Edward for the first time. I thought he’d be very stern and old, but he was sweet and rather sad. He could never get my name right. He always called me Lily.’

‘Maybe you reminded him of her,’ said Joel. ‘That’s sad in a way.’

‘Yes,’ said Mum. ‘My mother always said he never got over Lily’s death. They were very much in love I believe. Look here, you can see it from their wedding photos.’

It was true. Mum had found a very faded sepia photo in the folder, of Lily and Edward in formal wedding garb. Despite the severity of the photo style, you could see the sense of fun in Lily’s eyes, and the pleasure in Edward’s face, bubbling out of the photo.

‘The last time I saw Edward, I’ll never forget it. He was confined to his bedroom by then, and Connie had locked up the garden. I broke into it once – it was like a secret garden, but so sad and neglected. Only Edward used to ask after it, and no one would tell him how ruined it was. So I promised him I’d look after it. Hark at me. Only five, I was.’ She patted Joel’s hand. ‘I’m so glad you’re restoring the garden,’ she said. ‘It’s good for you to have a focus again. Give you something to think about.’

‘Yes,’ said Joel, acknowledging the unexpected truth of this. ‘It is.’

Lauren found she couldn’t feel irritated with Troy for long. He’d provided salmon and champagne as his contribution to the picnic. An extravagant, but not unwelcome gesture. It was such a novelty to have him spend any money on her, she couldn’t help but be pleased.

‘You clearly haven’t done picnics with small people before,’ she laughed, as she produced sandwiches, grapes, tomatoes, cucumbers, mini sausages and crisps for the girls.

They’d come to a high spot on the Downs where there was a glorious view of the county. It looked stunning on this wonderfully sunny April day. The grass was high already and waving in the breeze, the fields were full of gorse and heather, and there were catkins on the chestnut trees. Swallows were swooping in the azure blue sky and chaffinches were chirping in the hedgerows.

The girls were having a great time running around, picking daisies, playing with a bat and ball, and imagining fairies in the undergrowth.

Troy turned out to be particularly adept at going along with that game, somewhat to Lauren’s surprise. She was doubly impressed, knowing how rough he must be feeling. But she was finding it restful watching them running and playing around together. It was as if she’d had a glimpse of an alternative life – one where they were a proper family.

‘Enough. Enough. You two have worn me out,’ said Troy laughing, as he came down and flopped next to her. The girls were still happily catching fairies.

‘How’s the hangover?’ said Lauren.

‘All the better for running around with my daughters,’ he said. ‘And one glass of champagne has done wonders to clear my head.’

‘So long as you make it just the one glass,’ said Lauren.

‘Of course,’ said Troy. ‘I’d never drink and drive with the girls in the car. You know I’d never do anything to hurt them.’

‘I know,’ said Lauren. And she did know. Troy may have made mistakes in his past, but he was making up for it now.

‘And what about you?’ said Troy. He gently laced his fingers round hers, and she didn’t pull away. ‘Do you still think I would hurt you?’

Lauren swallowed. The champagne had gone to her head, giving her a pleasant fizzing feeling. The setting and the moment felt suitably romantic, and she felt herself weaken. But then she thought about Joel, and how confused he’d made her feel. And what a mess Troy had been only that morning. Was she ready to trust him again? Could they really let go of their past and give it another go?

‘I don’t know,’ she said. ‘I want to believe you won’t, but you let me down so badly before.’

‘I know,’ he said, and tucked a stray bit of hair behind her ear. ‘I was wrong. Very wrong. I’m so afraid of the responsibility, you see. I’ve realized now I shouldn’t run away. Seeing some of those kids in Southampton, and how much it affects them not having their dads about was another thing that made me see I had to be here for the girls. I won’t let them down again. I promise you. You do know that, don’t you?’

She looked into his eyes and saw only sincerity. Lauren hated herself for doubting him. Troy clearly thought he’d changed, and at least he was trying. Perhaps she should give him another chance. Throwing caution to the wind she leant over and kissed him full on the lips.

‘The past is the past,’ she said. ‘Let’s drink to the future.’

By the end of the day, the majority of the paths had been cleaned and cleared away and all the bedding plants were in. Kezzie was really pleased with the result. The gardens looked fabulous, the beds were bursting with colour, the lawn had been cut, and thanks to Tony, the paths were going to be relaid by the Parish Council during the week. It was a vast improvement on the way they had looked. Tony had turned up with a gardening friend, who’d packed all the rubbish which wouldn’t fit in the skips, into his van and taken it to the tip for recycling. Kezzie winked at Eileen, who’d come with them. Eileen blushed and looked away.

‘You’ve done a fantastic job,’ said Tony. ‘All of you. Eileen and I can’t thank you enough.’

‘No problem,’ said Flick. ‘It’s been great fun.’

‘This is the moment in Ground Force when they always brought in the champagne,’ said Kezzie. ‘Sadly, I don’t have any, but there is still some beer at mine if anyone can face it. I am, of course, exempting myself from this.’

Kezzie’s hangover and sense of paranoia had worsened as the day went on. She knew Troy and Lauren weren’t an item, and Lauren had been very clear that she wasn’t planning for them to be, but she felt she’d unwittingly strayed into Lauren’s territory, and she didn’t like it. Neither did she enjoy being secretive. She’d toyed with the idea of what to do all day, before coming to the conclusion that she should go round with a bottle of wine and fess up to Lauren. That way, they could (she hoped) have a good laugh about it, and get it out of the way, before gossip reached Lauren about what had happened. She liked Lauren, and the last thing she wanted was for there to be secrets between them.

Thus resolved, Kezzie tried to put her worries about Lauren and Troy aside, and enjoy the rest of the weekend with her friends. She was helped in this aim by a nice surprise on her return home. Not only had Troy gone (Kezzie had been worried he might have hung around), but Flo and June had put the time to good use and cleaned up.

‘Oh, thanks you two,’ said Kezzie. ‘You really didn’t need to.’

‘Nonsense,’ said Flo. ‘We haven’t had such a laugh in ages, have we, June? It was the least we could do.’

Everyone hung around till the late afternoon, before reluctantly packing up their things and clambering into Gavin’s minibus, which had always been used for gardening jobs.

‘You will come again soon, won’t you?’ said Kezzie wistfully. ‘I’ve missed you guys.’

‘Come back to London,’ urged Flick. ‘You can’t go burying yourself in the countryside forever.’

‘Maybe,’ said Kezzie, noncommittally. Part of her would love her old life back, but she had to admit she was putting roots down here. Living in Heartsease was doing her soul good. Leaving, if she ever did – Jo having emailed to say that she was having such a great time she was likely to be away for more than a year – would be a wrench.

Sloughing off the end of weekend melancholy feeling that overtook her once everyone had gone, Kezzie grabbed a bottle of wine. She felt she was just about well enough now to tackle the hair of the dog, and went round to Lauren’s to confess all.

The sun was setting as she went up the path, and she saw instantly through the window that Lauren wasn’t alone. She was with a man. Oh. Troy was round. That was embarrassing. Kezzie hesitated. Maybe Troy had had the same idea. It probably wasn’t the best time to call.

Kezzie could see Lauren turn to face Troy, laughing. And then to Kezzie’s astonishment, he pulled her towards him and kissed her on the lips.

Oh my God. The sneaky sod. Straight from trying to seduce her, right into Lauren’s arms. He really was the worst kind of shit. No wonder Lauren had been so down on him. But what had made her change her mind? Now what to do?

Paralysed by indecision, Kezzie eventually chose retreat as the best option. She’d come back tomorrow and try and find a way of telling Lauren then, when Troy wasn’t around. She took a final look up the path, to see Lauren drawing the curtains, still laughing. She looked so happy. How on earth was Kezzie going to be able to tell her the truth now?

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