Читать книгу Get Out of Your Own Way Guide to Life - Justin Loeber - Страница 11

Let me start you off with a big bang (and not the kind I saw at Club 1018).

Draw the curtain up and listen closely:

Dream big, my friends. Do it. Go higher than high.

Don’t listen to the doubters, and don’t fall in with the “Negative Nellie” crowds that don’t want you to succeed. Knock those doubting, bobble-headed booby traps you call “friends” off their spring, and get focused on you. It takes as much energy to dream as small as a pea as it does to dream as big as Mount Everest. Dreaming big gives you the gas to drive your emotional car up out of the pitfalls of your own way—it’s also a roadmap to rise up, get over yourself, and stop the doubt that has held you in suspended animation.

#Dream big and let the sun finally shine

on the person you were born to be.

Take a breath, look up, and, without apology, dream really big and bold. I promise I’ll make this step and exercise as entertaining and thoughtful as I have the capacity to: you will not only rise above the road to nowhere on which you’ve been stalled, but you’ll also learn a lot about yourself—good and bad—along the way. This is all about living in the now, at your maximum creative and thoughtful threshold. This is all about making every precious day matter—getting out of your own way, because you never know when today might be the last day you’ll have the freedom to start fresh and try again tomorrow.

Speaking of freedom...I live in America, “the land of the free, and home of the brave,” to quote “The Star-Spangled Banner.” Over the course of my life, I’ve grown to be brave enough to celebrate my freedom to follow my passions and survival instinct, from acting, dancing, and music, to “Wang’ing” office work at the MTA, slinging hash in restaurants, working in publishing, and now, to being my own boss.

#It’s not hard, but it takes a lot of work to go from

Point A (working as a temp) to Point B (owning a company).

If you’re lucky enough to live in a free society with a boundless ceiling for success, why not work that luck to your advantage? Are you squandering your freedom and losing an opportunity to dream big and act bold because the idea of taking a risk is too painful to contemplate? OK, so you might have had a rotten childhood and a wasted adolescence. Stop blaming your parents, your teachers, or the government. Get over the obstacles in your path, and start taking the leaps to make your ideas matter now. If you want something here and now, put on your adult diapers and stop dribbling. And if you’re a Millennial, for God’s sake, stop playing the entitled victim—that role has already been filled with the hippie-dippy set who never were able to fit into society because they smoked way too much weed. Defy your generation and act older (and bolder) than your age so that you can get out of your own way and aspire to greatness. Hang in there! If your bright ideas have merit, you’re gonna do really, really well because people will take notice.

Here’s a thought: so what if your big dream tanks? So what if you fall flat on your face? Remember my washed-up recording career? I had the guts to miss those flying beer bottles in the UK—use that visual as a way to keep your ass on the straight and narrow. If you can visualize glass flying towards you, I promise that all of a sudden you’ll be awake, alive, and animated enough to get out of the way! If you’re in a situation you know is used up—let’s say living at home with a lot of unnecessary control over you, or sitting there later in life on the unemployment line—the first step to getting out of your own way is really to just get up, get cracking and rekindle your inner zhuzh! Yes, it is as easy as that. Get up. Get out. Sing another song, for Christ’s sake! I don’t want you to be strapped into a wheelchair at eighty, wondering “what if” you had done this or that when you were younger—or, worse, regretting that you didn’t try something simply out of fear. Do you?

#Go cold turkey and change your attitude immediately.

Yes, it’s easy.

A few years ago, I was naked, doubled over in tears (in the shower!), afraid that my business was tanking. At the time of this personal implosion, my company was more than six years old, and it was the first time that not just one, but four clients reneged on their payments, and the first time I sent customers to “collections.” Talk about fear: I entered into the first quarter of the next year with only a four thousand dollar float and four employees to pay. Trust me when I tell you, it’s not that attractive for a guy with a shaved head to cry in the shower—but it can be very cathartic. At that guttural moment, I was forced to come to terms with my fear: What would be the worst thing that could happen if my business crumbled? As my pity party subsided, I came to realize there was absolutely nothing to worry about. Really.

It’s not that my business isn’t vulnerable to suffering down years. Nearly every business is. But my waterworks of panic got in the way of thinking clearly, which paid off big time. To get a grip on this ground zero moment, all I needed to do was “stop,” take a breath,” and visualize rock bottom and come to grips with whether or not it’s as bad as it could be.

#If the bottom of the barrel isn’t so bad,

why spend unnecessary minutes waddling down yonder?

Yes, my business could indeed close down without notice (you’ve gotta have a huge dose of humility when you own a digital and PR company), but I realized that what could potentially be a catastrophe for others wasn’t, for me, that horrible after all. If my company crashed, I came to the lightbulb moment of clarity: the worst thing that could happen is that I would have to sell my home, rent a studio apartment (perhaps with a roommate or two), and become a waiter again—something I actually loved doing from time to time before my work in publishing.

#Boo-hoo. I might have to sell my home in favor of renting.

Why isn’t this fallback career as bad as it sounds? The bottom line: exercise and cold, hard cash! When you wait on tables, you literally work your ass off running a marathon during your shift. It’s no secret that the good waiters leave every day with a wad of tips—as opposed to accumulating cellulite sitting in an office waiting for a headhunter to call. Realizing that my rock bottom wasn’t so rocky after all, I was able to squelch a fear that had been holding me hostage—for years. I tricked my brain into thinking that fear of failure was an impetus to do a better job.

#Bawling over the fear of having to

kiss my business goodbye was a time-suck.

#Landlords and banks don’t care where the

mortgage or rent comes from—it just needs to be paid.

Sophia was a friend who moved from the Dominican Republic to the US, trying to rebuild the same career she had in her homeland in her new land. She spent a lot of time mourning the fact that she had lived the high life back home but had nothing to show for it now. What Sophia didn’t grasp at first was that, thanks to the Internet, she could indeed keep some of her fancy clients from her hinterland and still work with them virtually while founding a new frontier. Her rock bottom moment forced her to realize:

#Instead of mourning that one door was closing,

with the Internet she could open BOTH doors and

let clients come in from all over.

To get to that realization, she needed to talk through the fear—out loud—with a trusted friend: me. As a supportive and objective listener, I helped my friend determine what her fear was all about and what the creative alternatives could be. After a few back-and-forths, bantering ideas and strategies with each other, Sophia came to understand that what might seem like a scary storyline in her head was really a bare-bones plot she hadn’t thought through.

#Empty, fearful noises in the brain are deafening.

Getting back to America’s national anthem...on many levels, we really do live freely in a country that’s home to smart, strong, and pretty damn brave people who get ahead, mainly because they are passionate and want to be successful without hurting others on their rise up the ladder. True, some people are snakes who will do anything to stomp on you, squelch your spirit, and hijack the limelight away from you—you all know who you are. With all the websites, cameras, and telemarketers sucking our personal information away from us, it’s really hard to protect your personal and emotional deck of cards without someone wanting to steal your identity. We’re all in a catch-22, because we have to put ourselves out there in order to get something back. When it comes to your dream, my advice would be to let the flood gates open strategically, without sharing your life story with every “nice” person who comes your way.

#It’s time for you to create your own success story to tell!

To raise awareness for your dream, you’ve got to cast a wide net out there, across all platforms. Since there are so many brands, products, corporations, etc. vying for people’s attention, you have to go big to get a return. And no one needs to know you only have a four thousand dollar float or a budget for ramen noodles. At this stage of the game, do you want to feel “less than,” simply because someone has more money in the bank, more college degrees from a stable of Ivy League schools, more ideas to boast about, and more designer shoes in their closet? Who cares? Again, the broken record in me says, “Who has time to worry about The Friggen’ Joneses?” There will always be someone who is richer and hotter, someone who is smarter and taller, and someone who has found the secret to a great invention. (BTW, check out www.CarCane.com for an example. What a great idea for those who need a lift! Haha.)

Let those who are successful have their moment, would you please? And stop feeling sorry for yourself while you vicariously experience someone else’s lottery win. Their moment is theirs. It’s great karma to congratulate others because positive energy is infectious—it opens the door to you. Visualize your dream. If you’ve ever gone to a psychic, they’ll tell your spiritual team, “Come out, come out, wherever you are!”—and when they do, don’t be shy. Ask your ghostly cheerleaders for what you want. See it. Feel it. It’s going to happen if you believe that you’re worthy of the request. You can—and you will—have your own moment. So, dream big! Then, strategize and rehearse until it’s lean and mean, focused and clear. Sum up your dream in a few lines so that prospective supporters can understand it, right on the spot. Once you have your story down pat, all you need to do is find the best and most appropriate audience to listen to your life’s anthem.

#Applaud someone else’s success. Get cracking with yours.

#Rehearse your ass off before you go out there and pitch.

If you’re a playwright, work out the synopsis of your story before pitching producers. If you’re an aspiring English teacher, make sure you fill out everything on the job application (without any typos) before speaking with the principal. Work out all the pertinent stuff about you (“Who” are you? “What” are you presenting? “Why” are you the one to get this big order?) Rehearse what you’d say, how you’d say it and to whom—before you break down the doors and ask for something. The “rehearsal” period is very important because it’s the prep time you need to home in on what I call your “nightclub act.” We all have one. It’s the elevator pitch we tell people when they ask us who we are, and all that goes with it. Rehearsal is the time when you can really be honest with yourself to see what does and doesn’t work in your presentation. You will be amazed at how much more confident you’ll be when you are prepared.

#Preparation = confidence.

Why not emulate at least one real trait celebrities possess? I’m not one who thinks that celebs are the be-all and end-all of everything that represents success; however, because I’ve repped plenty of them, there are a few things that go with the territory of being a celebrity that I would like to share with you. They love to hobnob with other successful people and pitch their ideas to the top of the ladder, rather than keep pitching the person who doesn’t make the decisions. Genuine celebs take the elevator straight to the penthouse; they do not wallow in the lobby and stuff themselves into an over-packed elevator to get an answer. In the movies, it takes as much energy to talk to the Wizard as it does to the Munchkins. If you’re afraid to look behind the curtain and come face-to-face with whoever holds the power, you are simply setting yourself up for failure. Agree? (BTW, if you have no idea who the Wizard is, watch The Wizard of Oz—the original Judy Garland classic.) Seriously though, fear of going to the top is a form of self-sabotage. The top decision-makers might not actually be the ones you need to convince; however, if they are, avoiding them chips away at your self-confidence. That cowardly action shows that you don’t think you deserve to spend time with people in power. Unless you can breathe in and taste the notion of hobnobbing with the successful, you’re wasting precious tick-tock time.

I call this the “Madonna” factor. You remember Madonna, the original “Material Girl?” (God bless her. We’re the same age.) That phenomenally successful recording artist was never afraid of putting her dream into drive—and she still isn’t. Knowing that even though she might not be the most talented singer, songwriter, or dancer, she understood her worth and went straight for the jackpot, regardless of whether or not The Friggen’ Joneses believed in her. Madonna understands the definition of “opportunist” and always goes for it. She doesn’t care what Millennials think about her age. Madonna remains focused on living in her spotlight.

#Madonna defies ageism. What can you defy?

As you read in the intro, I left NYU for a “chance” of becoming a recording artist in London, primarily because I was tired of being around so many people who found comfort in failure. Other people might have viewed my ditching an education from NYU as catastrophic for my future, but the last time I checked, NYU didn’t have a class for being a pop recording artist as big as the late, great Prince. (The moment I met George Michael in London was the moment I was going into a movie theater in Leicester Square to see Prince’s Purple Rain. What an inspirational day, I’d say.) Before the plane touched down at Heathrow, I knew I wanted to be a pop star—not pretend to be one, but really take a chance to live as one (to me, the definition of stardom was to be able to create, sing and perform for a living—it wasn’t only having the opportunity to have a hoard of money); and I knew I had something that was worthy enough for the category. That was my big dream, and I decided to embark on a trip across the pond to try my best to make it all come true.

I was ready for the opportunity and didn’t put up any psychological roadblocks to sabotage myself. And I got the deal, the record, the tour, and the fans (all five of them!). Mission accomplished. Even though I left music, I didn’t exit through the back door solely because I was afraid to dream about being successful in it. With an inner voice as loud as the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, I had no other choice but to find the courage to leave music, which was as bold as choosing to dive into it in the first place. Trust me, you probably have never heard of me before this book, but as I hinted in the Intro, if you do a little Googling, you’ll find all that “Larry Loeber” recorded—when I was thirty-two years younger.

#Before your plane takes off, dream big.

My hope for you is as follows:

If you are lucky enough to live past eighty, I want you to sit in that rocking chair with a smile, satisfied that you gave it your all, not wondering, “What if?” To get you started, here’s my first “TAKE-A-QUIZ” to make sure you’re ready to embark on the road to your big dream: