Читать книгу Riley's Baby Boy - Karen Smith Rose - Страница 7

The first knock on Riley O’Rourke’s door was hesitant.

The second was stronger.

Riley opened the door to the May day, expecting to see a friend. Family never knocked when they visited his house in the woods. They barged in. However, when he saw Brenna McDougall, his heart skipped at least one beat and his chest tightened because …

She was holding a baby!

Riley’s marine training was the only thing keeping him standing while his head spun. The infant looked to be about six weeks old. Six weeks old.

Keep your head on straight. Listen to her before you make a giant leap to the wrong conclusion.

“Hi, Riley,” Brenna said brightly. Then her confidence seemed to fade. “Maybe I should have called first, but I thought this was the best way to do it.”

“Do what?” He was proud his voice remained even as he remembered their fifteenth-year high school reunion, their passionate night in his bed, then her departure without a word or a goodbye or a note.

“I had a baby. Derek is … your son.”

Seeing Brenna again had knocked him for a loop, but her statement of his paternity felt like a sucker punch.

A former marine, he never lost his composure—not in the field, not in his post-military life. Raking his fingers through the black hair that had grown out over the past year, he recovered quickly. Yet he couldn’t take his gaze off of the little boy in Brenna’s arms.

“I guess you’d better come in,” he said, wishing he’d taken a shower, wishing he and Brenna didn’t have a past between them full of regrets.

Brenna held on to Derek as if he was the most precious bundle on earth. She rubbed her cheek against the baby’s and murmured something soft … something Riley didn’t understand.

“He’s just waking up,” she explained. “He was so good on the plane. And he fell asleep again on the drive from Flagstaff to Miners Bluff. I came straight here.”

Another surprise. Why hadn’t she driven to her parents’ first? After all, Brenna was the obedient, loyal daughter. Okay. He was still cynical about that.

Although she’d been in his house the night of their reunion last summer, her gaze wandered over it as if she were seeing it for the first time. One word could describe his place—comfortable. After living in the desert, in barracks, huts and bunkers, he’d wanted comfortable as well as enough furniture to seat a good portion of his family. With his dad, two brothers and a sister who sometimes dropped in unexpectedly, he needed a place for them to land.

With Derek in her arms Brenna turned around, assessing the long sofa and Western-patterned earth tones, the native-stone hearth, the recliner. There were two cushy chairs angled to watch the large-screen TV. Outside the dining area’s sliding glass doors, she could glimpse a patio with its brick wall and outdoor fireplace.

Still, Riley wasn’t concerned about her opinion of his house.

Anger created a slow burn through his blood. “Why didn’t you tell me you were pregnant?”

When she looked up at him with her sea-green eyes and pushed her long blond hair over her shoulder in a nervous gesture that had been a habit since high school, he almost forgot to listen.

“It’s complicated.”

“It’s complicated?” he snapped. When he realized his voice was a little too rough with a baby present, even though that baby had his blue eyes, he vowed to stay calm.

His gruffness didn’t seem to intimidate Brenna. After she stole a glance at him, she went to sit on the long sofa, settling the baby, who was dressed in a blue-and-white-striped onesie, in the crook of her arm. Derek waved his arms and smiled, if a six-week-old could smile. Brenna obviously thought he could because she smiled back and tickled his tummy.

But her smile slid away as her gaze met Riley’s. “I couldn’t get back to Miners Bluff before now.”

“Cell phone service might be a little spotty out here, but I do have a landline. I’m listed in the Miners Bluff directory.”

She ran her thumb over the embroidered puppy on Derek’s outfit. “I needed time, Riley, to figure out what I wanted to do. I was in the middle of designing a new bridal gown collection. I had orders for custom gowns. I had a show in March and then I went into labor early—”

He crossed his arms over his chest. “So?”

“So … I just didn’t know how I was going to handle all of it … any of it … you.”

“You wanted to handle me?”

Now her temper flared. “You know what I mean. I live in New York. You live here. I didn’t know how you’d feel about me being pregnant. It wasn’t as if we … we …”

“Picked up where we left off the summer after high school?”

“The night of the reunion, we knew we were having a fling for old times’ sake.”

Old times’ sake. She’d hit that nail on its proverbial head.

The night of the reunion they’d fallen into the past and hadn’t cared about the future. But now here she was, sitting on his sofa with his son.

His son.

Some of the shock was wearing off now, and as he approached the sofa and sat beside Brenna, the scent of her perfume, the curves of her body, the glossiness of her blond hair aroused him, just as they had when they’d danced the night of the reunion.

He steeled himself against the attraction that had begun when they were teenagers. “Can I hold him?”

Her eyes widened as if she hadn’t expected that. A reluctance seemed to come over her and he wondered what that was about. If he didn’t put her at ease, she could walk out that door and fly back to New York.

“I won’t drop him,” he said, with his own attempt at a smile, although it didn’t come easy. “Whenever I was home on leave, I handled my brothers’ and sister’s kids.”

Brenna smoothed Derek’s wavy black hair, then lifted him, warning, “You have to support his head.”

“I know.”

Those two words, I know, had an underlying message. As their gazes met, video flashed through his mind of himself and Brenna exploring each other. Their cravings when they were teenagers had defied their families’ hostility. Rebellion and defiance at work?

How stupid they’d been as teenagers. How reckless as adults.

As he took his son into his arms, Riley’s heart almost stopped. A protective urge he’d never felt before washed over him as he supported Derek’s head and then cradled his son in his arms.

He was a father!

Or was he? He had to ask the question, especially since Brenna had said she’d gone into labor early.

“Are you sure he’s mine?”

There was a look on Brenna’s face that he couldn’t decipher. He wasn’t sure if it was indignation or hurt. When she blinked, it disappeared and she lifted her chin. He knew that gesture. She was going to defend herself for all she was worth.

“I gave birth to Derek two weeks before my due date. I haven’t slept with anyone but you for a very long time.”

A very long time. Exactly what did she mean by that? Months? A year? Two? And why not? Brenna was even more beautiful now than she’d been in high school, with long golden hair, green eyes, a face that could have rivaled Helen of Troy’s. Oh, Lord, he was turning poetic. Brenna had always done that to him and he’d felt like a fool because of it. Yet as he sat next to her, realized her breasts were a little fuller, her hips a little rounder, an instinctive primal reaction he’d always had to her threatened to override any good thoughts or sense.

“But if you want a DNA test, no problem.” She glanced at him again and then added, “Maybe you don’t want a DNA test. Maybe you don’t want any part of …” She took a breath then motioned to her son. “Derek.”

Brenna had come from money, was beautiful, intelligent and always self-assured. But today there was an air of uncertainty about her. Because she hadn’t known what his reaction would be?

“I haven’t heard the roof blow off your parents’ house. Did you tell them who you think the father is?”

“I don’t think. I know.” She reached over and touched Derek’s little hand. Her arm grazed his and the awareness between them was instantaneous and potent, as it had been from the beginning.

His gaze drifted from her eyes to the pulse at her throat and it was fluttering rapidly. So was his. He waited.

“They don’t know about Derek.”

Riley felt suddenly confused. “They don’t know he’s a boy? They don’t know you’ve had him? They don’t know I’m the father?”

“All of the above.” Her voice faltered and he saw that she was tired from the trip and filled with anxiety.

“You didn’t tell them you were pregnant? How could they not know? Didn’t you see them at Christmas?” After all, the McDougalls were a close-knit family. They celebrated holidays. They kept traditions. They did everything right. Except Angus McDougall wasn’t always so right when it came to business.

“I didn’t really start showing until my sixth month. When they came to New York for Christmas, I wore heavy sweaters. They didn’t notice and I didn’t let on.”

“Because?” he prompted.

“Because I didn’t want any interference. When I left Miners Bluff, it was for a reason. You know that. I had trunk shows planned for winter and a collection to get out.”

“Trunk shows?”

He hadn’t been able to keep the real amusement from his voice. She gave in and shot him a half-smile. That smile was like a kick to the gut.

“I bring other designers’ gowns into my store and they show mine. It’s a great sales tool.”

She’d learned all about sales from wandering after her father in his department store downtown. The idea of that department store and of what Angus McDougall had done to his father could always make Riley see red.

As if Brenna knew that and didn’t want to get in to it, she hurried on. “I wasn’t sure what I was going to do, if I was going to come back here.”

“If you were going to tell me?”

Derek suddenly became restless, fretful, and Riley knew his son had probably caught that edge of anger in his voice. Careful once again to support the baby’s head, Riley picked him up, his hand practically spanning from Derek’s hair to midway down his back. He spoke to him softly and then nestled him in his arm once again. The baby quieted under his care.

“You’re good with him.” Brenna seemed really surprised.

“Brenna, you’re going to have to start trusting me.” He saw the look in her eyes that said she didn’t, the look that told him old insecurities die hard. She’d never really known if he’d dated her and bedded her in high school to get revenge on her father. It might have started that way, but in the end, he’d been tied up in knots over her. And what had she done? She’d been loyal to her family and she’d left.

How could they ever raise a child together when they didn’t trust each other?

“Trust goes two ways, Riley,” she said. “We’ll get that DNA test.”

“I know a good pediatrician my sister uses. I can probably make an appointment for tomorrow.”

“Next day maybe?”

He was about to make a comment about postponing the inevitable when she held up her hand. “I don’t think I can face my parents tonight. I called The Purple Pansy Bed and Breakfast and Mikala’s aunt, Anna Conti, has a suite free. I’m going to take Derek there for tonight. I’ll go to see my parents in the morning.” Mikala had been one of their high school classmates.

“Wait a minute.” Riley held the baby a little tighter. “You just got here. I don’t know how long you’re going to stay, and I deserve a chance to be with my son. You don’t even have the supplies you need, do you? Diapers? Formula?”

“I packed enough diapers and I’m breastfeeding. I do have some formula, too. I came prepared.”

Brenna was that type, usually always prepared. He could see how that would be a good trait as a mom. “All right, so you have what you need. But I need time with him. Stay here tonight until we figure things out.”

She went completely still and he could see she was trying to gauge his level of sincerity. “You want to change diapers, too?”

“That’s part of being a dad, isn’t it?”

“It is, though a part a lot of parents like to skip.”

“Some parents skip out altogether. We both know that. That’s not going to happen here.” There was a very good reason he didn’t trust women. His mother had left Miners Bluff for the “good” life. Essentially Brenna had done the same. She wouldn’t go public with what they’d felt when they were young. She wouldn’t defy her parents and admit her feelings about him. She’d felt leaving was better than staying. He wondered if she knew that’s what had eventually led to him joining the marines.

This time, without any hesitation at all, she reached over and touched his thigh. Her fingers on his skin were a searing heat. “Riley, I didn’t mean to suggest—”

To his relief, Derek started fussing again. This time he was grateful and didn’t croon or rock. He wasn’t going to revisit his broken-up family life with Brenna. He wasn’t going to let her touch turn him inside out.

When she reached for Derek, Riley let her lift the baby from his arms to walk with him.

He was gripped by longing he didn’t begin to understand. He rose to his feet and with his best military voice, asked, “So will you stay here tonight? Stay here while you’re in Miners Bluff?”

Brenna seemed to weigh all of her options. Finally she responded, “I’ll stay tonight, then we’ll go from there.”

One night. He had one night to convince her he could be a proper father … one night to convince her he wasn’t and would never be like his dad.

Brenna had just finished fastening Derek’s diaper, when a tingle ran up her spine. Keeping one hand on Derek, she glanced over her shoulder and there was Riley, all tall and brawny and broad-shouldered … watching her. She felt hotter than she should have for May in Miners Bluff.

He came into the room and she saw he was carrying what looked to be a dresser drawer.

“What’s that?” She was still nervous about coming, still uncertain she’d done the right thing. The bad feelings between her family and Riley’s had caused their breakup in the past and could complicate their decisions now.

“Derek needs a bed. You can’t just put him beside you and roll over on him.”

“I would never—” She stopped, seeing the glint of humor in Riley’s eyes. He was trying to lighten the situation and she really did appreciate that. Why she was questioning her decision to come here, she didn’t know. Her life had been full of decisions. Leaving Riley had been heartbreaking, but it had been the right decision. Her career had been solid. One bad decision still haunted her, though. She’d become romantically involved with the wrong man—Thad Johnson—and had ended up emotionally bruised. But Thad had taught her men couldn’t be trusted … not any more than Riley, whose motives had always been in question.

“For a bed, it’s kind of hard, don’t you think?” she asked, trying to forget the past … at least, for the moment.

“Oh ye of little faith,” Riley said with a shake of his head. “Just watch.”

When he exited the room again, she watched all right. She watched the straightness of his spine and the play of his muscles under his T-shirt. His jeans fit him really well. She knew what he looked like without those jeans. That was the problem with staying here.

By the time she’d scooped Derek off the bed, Riley had returned with an armful of linens. First he took what looked like a mattress pad and folded it in half. Next he tucked a sheet around it and smoothed it out in the drawer, ensuring the surface was tight.

“What do you think?”

With Derek on her shoulder, she crossed to his side of the bed and stood next to him. Way too close, she decided, but that’s where the drawer was so she had no choice.

She pushed down on the makeshift mattress. “You’re inventive.”

“I was a marine.”

He hadn’t said much about being in the service, but at the reunion, she’d heard chatter before he’d arrived about his tours of duty, about his Purple Heart and Bronze Star. As they’d danced he’d explained about how he’d become Clay Sullivan’s partner in his wilderness guided tour business, about how he was glad to be home with his family. But their conversation hadn’t delved deeper than the surface of their lives. His dad had been an alcoholic. Had that changed?

She’d never really gotten to know Riley’s brothers and sister because their high school affair had been a secret. That summer after their high school graduation, Riley had wanted to go public with their relationship. But her dad and Riley’s dad had felt nothing but bitterness toward each other. She’d been torn by her feelings for Riley and her desire to leave Miners Bluff and become the independent woman she wanted to be—by her sense of loyalty to her family and her love for Riley.

Family and independence had won and she’d gone to the Fashion Institute of Technology in New York with her heart aching, her appetite gone, her nights filled with dreams of Riley and what they’d had. Yet she doubted what they’d had, too. Had Riley really fallen for her? Or had he just wanted revenge on her father for what her father had done to his?

“Did you learn to cook in the marines?” He’d made them a quick supper of grilled burgers, oven fries and fresh green beans.

“I learned almost everything I know as an adult in the marines.”

That sentence carried a lot of weight and she wasn’t going to ignore its importance. She patted Derek’s back as she rocked back and forth a little, more for her sake than his.

“When did you enlist?”

“The November after we graduated.”

“What made you decide? You’d never mentioned wanting to serve.”

He smoothed the padding in the drawer again, straightened, looking uneasy. “It’s not important.”

“It changed the course of your life and made you who you are. I think it is.”

“I got into trouble.”

That wouldn’t have been the first time Riley had been in trouble. Before she’d met him, before she’d dated him, she’d known he was wild. Liam O’Rourke’s kids had never had restrictions, and Riley had taken advantage of that. Sure, after his mom had left, he’d had to help with his brothers and his sister. But when he wasn’t doing that, he was raising Cain. She’d been told to stay away from him for more than one reason. But this raven-haired bad boy, with eyes as blue as the winter sky, had been temptation personified when he’d seemed interested in her.

He and some friends had been caught stealing another school’s mascot. He’d also been caught binge drinking with those same buddies in a neighbor’s barn.

“This time it was worse than school suspension,” he admitted finally, guessing what she was thinking. “I had a few beers. I drove Dad’s truck and crashed it into a fire hydrant.”

He’d had no plans for the future when they’d dated. He’d had no goals as she’d had. “What happened?”

“My case was assigned to a judge who did more than look at me as a number. He told me to shape up or die young. He advised me to visit the offices of recruiters. He told me if they accepted me and I signed up, he’d forget the fire hydrant and the damages. So I signed up.”

“You were a marine until last year?”

“Until a few months before the reunion. Since I’m skilled at computer intel, I did consulting work when I got back. But I was looking for something different. When I heard Clay was searching for a partner, guiding work seemed perfect. And it is. I know this area as well as he does and my training just adds skills that I can use when I take tours fishing or riding out to Horsethief Canyon or rock climbing near Sedona. The marines made me a man of many talents.”

“I don’t think it was just the marines. You must have been willing to learn.”

Their gazes connected and something like old feelings zipped between them. Not only old feelings—an attraction that had lasted over fifteen years. How could that possibly be?

“What time do you turn in?” he asked, his voice gruff.

“Soon. I’m beat. Traveling with a little one can be a bit exhausting.” She gave Derek a tiny kiss on his ear. “I didn’t know what I was going to do if he’d cried on the plane. But he only fussed a little and no one seemed to mind. There’s just so much paraphernalia to bring along with a baby.”

Riley glanced at the stack of diapers tipping out of her suitcase, at the box of powdered formula on her dresser, at all the little outfits and booties that were toppling over on the bedroom chair.

“Did you fit in any of your clothes?”

She laughed. “A few. I figured I could pick up something here. It was more important I had everything I needed for Derek, just in case I got stuck in an airport or stalled in a car or something. Being a mom has changed the way I think about everything.”

She saw the questions in Riley’s eyes but she didn’t have any answers.

He must have known that because he hefted up the drawer, took it to the side of the bed nearest the wall and set it on the floor. “Is that going to be all right?”

“It will be fine. He’ll sleep for me in his car seat, but this is good until I can buy a portable crib tomorrow.”

“I have a bath attached to my bedroom so feel free to use the hall bathroom. It has a shower.”

“I know.”

His cheeks grew a little ruddy and she knew he was just making conversation, trying to dispel awkwardness between them. But it was there and nothing they could say would change that. They’d broken up as teenagers, had a one night stand as adults, and now here they were … with a baby. How much more awkward could it get?

She knew she shouldn’t ask.

Suddenly more tired from the long day than she’d wanted to admit, she sank down onto the bed holding her son close.

Abruptly Riley said, “I’m going out for a run.”

“In the dark?”

“I was a marine,” he said again.

She suspected he just didn’t want to be in the house with her. “I’ll see you in the morning then. I’m going to drive to my parents’ after breakfast.”

He was silent for a few moments, then offered, “If you need anything during the night … for the baby—” He added quickly, “Just give a yell. I’m a light sleeper.”

A light sleeper? He hadn’t awakened the night of the reunion when she’d slipped out of his bed, dressed and driven away. But she didn’t bring that up. She didn’t ask him why he’d slept so soundly after they’d made love.

But they hadn’t made love. They’d had sex, and she’d better remember that.

When Riley left the room, she closed her eyes and held her baby even closer.