Читать книгу Riley's Baby Boy - Karen Smith Rose - Страница 8

Brenna shouldn’t be nervous. She really shouldn’t. After all, these were her parents. They’d loved her, given her anything they could and protected her. She and her dad had a particularly special bond for reasons she’d never confided in Riley. When she was little, her dad had literally saved her life. However, she’d run from her parents’ protection to find out if she could stand on her own. Now here she was, with Riley beside her, standing at their door, hoping her father didn’t blow a gasket.

“Are you sure you want to come in with me? You don’t have to,” she told him.

“Brenna, this is my son. I’m not going to let your father dictate what’s going to happen next.”

“Do you think I can’t stand up to him?”

Riley just gave her a look that said it all. She hadn’t before. She’d forgotten about him and what they’d had in order to be loyal to her family. Maybe if she’d revealed the reasons for some of that loyalty … But she’d been afraid he wouldn’t understand so she’d kept those thoughts and feelings to herself. She hadn’t wanted to give him ammunition he could use to hurt her or her dad.

She snuggled Derek close to her shoulder, not wanting him to be a pawn, not wanting anything negative ever to touch him. In that moment, she realized why her parents had so fiercely wanted to protect her.

Riley had insisted on coming along and she’d let him. He had rights, too, and maybe she was afraid her father would steamroll her. He’d done it all her life until she’d decided to leave.

“Can you promise me you won’t lose your temper?” she asked, worried. Riley’s bitterness toward her father had never ebbed. She could see it in his eyes and hear it in his voice. It was simple, really. Her father had made a decision that had cost Liam O’Rourke his restaurant, his wife and his sobriety. But in defense of her father, he’d made a business decision. Rumors Liam had spread about her dad afterward had damaged her dad’s reputation. It had been an ugly situation for both families.

Brenna realized no one understood her father as she and her mother did. She knew details about his childhood her parents had never wanted her to know. She’d been about twelve when she’d overheard a conversation about how her dad’s own father had physically abused him. Maybe that’s one of the reasons her dad had always tried to give her the best life possible … had showered her with every advantage he could manage.

When the gray-haired housekeeper who had been handling household details for the past twenty-five years opened the door and saw Brenna, she burst into a grin. “Miss Brenna! How wonderful to see you. And who’s this you’re holding?”

Then Miriam caught sight of Riley just a step behind her. Her mouth rounded in a huge O as she recognized him.

“Are my parents home?” Since it was early, she was hoping her father hadn’t left for the department store yet, or her mother for errands.

“Your parents are having breakfast. Are they expecting you?” Miriam again gave Riley a look up and down as if surprised by the idea they might be. The McDougalls didn’t associate with the O’Rourkes.

“Actually, this is a surprise,” Brenna responded with high energy. “We’re just going to go right in. You don’t have to announce us.”

Before Miriam could object, Brenna glanced over her shoulder at Riley for the go-ahead, passed the housekeeper, strolled through the beautiful marble-floored foyer and into the dining room where her father had a paper propped in front of his face. Her mother was sipping a cup of coffee catty-corner from him at the mahogany dining room table.

Brenna’s mother looked up when she heard footsteps, but her father kept his eyes on his newspaper. Her mother’s green eyes, so like Brenna’s own, rounded in astonishment. She was a tall, slim woman with ash-blond hair that she kept perfectly maintained. Her makeup was always impeccable, too, but now her astonishment caused wrinkles on her forehead and around her eyes as she quickly pushed back her chair and hurried around the table.

“Oh my gosh, Brenna. Why didn’t you tell us you were coming? And who’s this little one?” Then she looked up at Riley. “And why is he here?”

Brenna transferred Derek to Riley to give her mother a hug. Her father folded his paper, laid it on the table and glanced up. His gaze first targeted Riley … then the baby … then Brenna. He slowly and stiffly stood, assessing the situation.

“You always call before you come,” he said gruffly. “You’ve never brought a baby before and you certainly never brought him. What’s going on, Brenna?”

A chill went up Brenna’s spine at the disapproval in her father’s voice. She felt her cheeks flush and she wanted to grab for Derek again. But she knew her son was better off in Riley’s arms. It made a point. It made a statement—one that her father obviously understood even before she explained.

“I didn’t call first because I wasn’t sure exactly when I could get away. I also wanted to tell you my news in person, not over the phone.” She reached for Derek again and Riley transferred the baby back to her. When she brushed her finger along his cheek, she was filled with that overwhelming love that had to spill over.

Her eyes met Riley’s and she almost shook from the charge that ran through her body. They had intimate knowledge of each other and that was potent. Then she turned to face her parents.

“Mom and Dad, this is your grandson, Derek. Riley is his father.”

Her mother gasped. Her father seemed to freeze before her eyes. His battle with hair loss had been going on for years. He was shorter than Riley, about five-ten, but he was husky and Brenna had always felt safe when he hugged her. She’d always felt safe because he could protect her. She’d always felt safe because he would give his life for her and she knew it.

Mainly, Riley didn’t know the story behind that because they’d tried to not discuss their parents.

“Oh my,” her mother said weakly, as if it were all too much for her. But then she rallied. “Why don’t we go into the living room and talk. Unless you’d like some breakfast? Miriam could make you scrambled eggs, toast, pancakes, anything you’d like.” She couldn’t seem to take her gaze from Derek.

Her father was still frozen, but his face was turning red.

“We ate before we came,” Brenna responded to keep the conversation going. “Derek had us up early, so we went with his schedule.”

Afraid her father might have a coronary, she watched him closely. He blew out a draft of air and his color receded a bit. His voice was steely when he said, “I can’t believe you didn’t tell us you were pregnant. And to bring him here. You know how we feel about him and his family. You’re flaunting it in our face. What were you thinking?”

Brenna’s throat grew thick as she saw the disappointment and betrayal on her father’s face.

Her dad picked up steam and his voice grew louder. “Babies change your life. This one’s surely going to change yours. How do you expect to keep the hours you do, the nonstop schedule, the traveling for the custom appointments? Are you going to tell me this was planned, Brenna? Did you and …” He stopped a moment, “Did you and O’Rourke want this to happen? Out of anybody in the whole world you could have chosen to have a baby with, I don’t understand why you chose him.”

This meeting would set the tone for everything that would happen from now on between her, Riley and her parents. And Derek would be in the thick of it. She had to stand her ground and somehow convince her parents that she knew what was best for their grandson or there would be constant bickering and arguing and her dad would try to cut Riley out of Derek’s life.

When Riley took a step closer to her as if to support her effort, she bumped her elbow against his for the contact. “Dad, isn’t it time you put any hard feelings you have to rest? What happened years ago shouldn’t still keep affecting us now. Can’t we move on?”

“What do you want to move on to, Brenna? O’Rourke?” Her father snorted as if that idea was beneath them all. He shook his head. “Why didn’t you tell us about your pregnancy at Christmas when we came to New York?”

Just why hadn’t she? “Riley didn’t know yet. I didn’t think it was right that you knew if he didn’t. I also needed time to get used to the idea of being pregnant, to figure out how it fit in with my career, to decide whether I wanted to move back to Miners Bluff.”

At that bit of news Riley gave her a sharp glance.

She quickly went on. “I decided I don’t want to move back here. My life is in New York now—my business, my friends, everything. That’s where I want to raise Derek. I knew you’d want to convince me to come back. I suspected Riley would, too. I had to be able to withstand the pressure and know exactly what I wanted. So I waited.”

Her father wasn’t pleased with that explanation. His scowl cut even deeper. “So exactly why are you here, Brenna? To tell us you had a baby and you’re going back to New York?”

She stepped closer to her father. “Daddy, I’m here to introduce you to your grandson. I want to stay awhile so you can get to know each other. And the same is true for Riley. He deserved to meet his son.”

Looking as if he wanted to argue with her, her dad obviously wasn’t giving Riley any standing … in his mind or in his house.

“Do you have your things with you?” he asked curtly. “We can move you into your old room, pull out your old cradle. You can have everything you need—”

“Mr. McDougall, that’s not going to happen.”

For the first time Riley broke the silence and Brenna heard the hard determination in his voice. His military demeanor was obvious in the straightness of his posture. He didn’t look ruffled or disturbed. He was just standing firm.

“What do you mean that’s not going to happen?” her dad demanded hotly. “She’s my daughter. This is my grandson. She needs a place where she’ll be comfortable and have everything she needs. This is her home.”

Brenna’s mom came up beside him and put her hand on his arm. He went quiet.

Riley didn’t raise his voice. He didn’t have to. Everything about him shouted controlled power. “What you say is true. Brenna and Derek need to be comfortable and have what they need. They will at my house. I’d like Brenna to stay with me while she’s here. We have a lot to settle. Under the same roof we can’t ignore the important questions. I’m going to get to know Derek and take care of him the way a father should.”

Brenna’s mother intervened in the highly charged atmosphere. “Brenna, what do you want to do? Stay with Riley? Or stay with us?”

Caught off guard by the question, Brenna knew she had to do what was best for Derek.

“Derek needs to know his dad, and Riley and I have details to iron out on how we’re going to manage parenting from two different sides of the country.”

When her father began to protest, she assured him, “Don’t worry, Daddy. I promise you’ll get to see Derek while I’m here. I rented a car and you’re only ten minutes away from Riley’s. I’m going to be working while I’m in Miners Bluff, but I’ll make sure you can see Derek as often as you want. I know this is a huge shock, but I hope a happy shock. I love this little boy with all my heart. I’m going to always try to do what’s best for him like you did for me.” Her gaze met her dad’s and held. “So if I make a decision you don’t agree with, please try to keep that in mind.”

“You made a decision I don’t agree with, all right,” her father muttered. “Just when did this happen?”

“Daddy!” Brenna was shocked that he’d ask this way.

“Angus, that’s none of our business,” his wife murmured.

“It was the night of the reunion, wasn’t it?” her dad decided. “You two got tangled up in talking about the past and—”

Riley cut in. “Mr. McDougall, what happened between Brenna and me is our business, not yours.”

Brenna had been about to say something like that, only not exactly in that way. Maybe not as bluntly. But she could easily see Riley wasn’t going to back down. She admired that but she also knew his attitude would make everything harder. She knew how to negotiate with her dad. Riley didn’t.

Brenna’s mom must have sensed the same thing because she came over to her daughter and broke the direction of the conversation. “Can I hold him?”

“Of course you can hold him.”

Her mother took Derek and gazed down at him with a grandmother’s love. “I guess you wouldn’t think about leaving him with us now.”

“I just got in last evening, Mom. Riley wants to spend some time with him and we also have to shop and buy supplies for him while I’m here. I’m breastfeeding for now so it’s better if Derek stays with me.”

Her mother looked deflated.

“I’m going to try using a bottle with him soon, though. I promise, I’ll bring him over for a few hours after we’re settled in.”

After her mother held Derek a few more minutes, she reluctantly handed him back. “Are you sure you can’t stay for breakfast … or something?”

“I think it’s better if we leave now, Mom.”

After a few more minutes of small talk where Riley became remote and her dad scowled, her mother said, “I’ll walk you to the door.”

Riley walked a few paces ahead.

Brenna’s mother came up to her left shoulder and said in a low voice, “Don’t hesitate to come back here if anything gets too hard. Some men don’t like babies around. Riley can think he wants to be a dad, but doing it is something else. This is your home, honey. Always remember that.”

“I will.”

She was sure Riley had overheard her mom.

Once outside he turned to her. “I’m going to be a dad, Brenna. Don’t doubt that. Whatever I don’t know how to do, I’ll learn. And as far as liking having babies around, I like my son already. That won’t be a problem.”

“Riley, she just wants me to know—”

“That you can come running home. I get that. I get it all too well.”

Then he walked to the SUV and opened the back door, ready to put Derek in his car seat. Brenna guessed he was ready to do whatever was necessary to claim his son. That scared her.

When they returned to Riley’s house, Brenna was rattled. She concentrated on Derek—changing him, feeding him, rocking him to sleep. Riley didn’t peek his head in to find out what she was doing. She heard him on the phone, though, his deep baritone carrying as he made an appointment for their DNA test the following day.

She knew why she felt shaken up. It was starting all over again, that torn-apart feeling. She loved her parents and they loved her, and she’d always tried to be the loyal daughter. She’d given up Riley back then, partly because of them, partly because she hadn’t known what to do. Now she understood that they wanted to spend time with their grandson, which was only natural. She wanted them to. She’d like nothing better than to have one big happy family. But she could still see the bitterness and resentment in Riley’s eyes when he looked at her dad, his standoffishness toward her mom. She could easily see her parents’ reaction to Riley, even though they didn’t know the man he’d become.

And here she was, staying in enemy camp.

With Derek asleep, Brenna went to look for Riley. They had to buy supplies. She found him in the kitchen, standing in front of the open refrigerator peering inside. Actually he seemed to be staring into space, but what did she know?

“Is he asleep?” Riley asked, closing the door without pulling anything out.

“Yes, he is. He’s really such a good baby.”

“I didn’t know if you needed help, but I didn’t want to disturb you.”

Did that mean he didn’t want to see her breastfeeding?

“You wouldn’t have disturbed us. Thanks for thinking about my need for privacy, but I don’t mind if you see. I mean, I cover up.”

The nerve in Riley’s jaw worked. She wondered what he was thinking, but she didn’t find out because he raked his hand through his hair and asked, “Grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch?”

“Grilled cheese is fine. I think I saw some carrots in there. That will take care of my vegetable. I’m going to need to go shopping this afternoon for everything I need for Derek.”

He eyed her with sudden intense concentration. “Do you want to do that alone, or do you want me to come along?”

“You’re welcome to come along.”

“That’s not what I asked. Do you want me to come along?”

Nothing had ever been easy between them. “If I buy a crib, I could probably use your help to get it in and out of my car. Handling Derek along with supplies—”

Suddenly Riley was there, right in front of her, close enough to touch. “Do you want me to come along?” he drawled slowly. “Anyone can lift a crib in and out of a car. I’m sure the store would be glad to have someone carry everything for you, especially if you go to McDougall’s.”

Of course she would go to McDougall’s for the crib. That was one reason she thought Riley might opt out of this.

“Do you want to set foot in McDougall’s?”

Riley blew out a breath. “No, I don’t want to set foot in McDougall’s. My family has gone the whole way to Flagstaff to avoid buying anything from your father’s store. But I will go there to pick out a crib for my son, or anything else he needs. And I want to make something clear, Brenna. I’m paying for it.”

“Riley—”

He clasped her shoulders and looked deep into her eyes. “I will provide for him, especially when we’re buying things he’s going to use in my house. So don’t argue with me.”

This was the Riley she’d known in high school, the stubborn, sometimes defiant, boy who was determined to get his own way. She had to choose her battles carefully. She knew pride was as important to the O’Rourkes as it was to the McDougalls.

“If you want to pay for the crib, that’s fine. But I’ll pay for the diapers and—”

As his hand left her shoulder and came up to stroke her hair away from her face, she lost every thought in her head. No man’s touch had ever affected her the way Riley’s had. His blue eyes didn’t waver from hers … didn’t give her any room for escape.

“Having you under my roof is damn difficult,” he muttered. “I remember the last time you were here, our clothes scattered on the living room floor, down the hall to the bedroom. I remember the way you wrapped your arms and legs around me—”

“Riley …” She wasn’t sure if saying his name was meant to warn him or encourage him. He must have taken it as encouragement because suddenly his hands slipped under her hair. Then he was holding her still, bending his head, kissing her hard.

Nothing about Riley O’Rourke was soft—not his attitude, not his sense of purpose, not the muscles in his shoulders or in his arms or in the rest of his body. Riley defined the word male and she’d always found that fact tempting and seductive and something she couldn’t resist. She found herself sinking into him, responding to the desire she tasted in his kiss. She took his tongue into her mouth and let him explore, let him teach her again what passion was all about.

Passion. Chemistry. Sex. That had never been their problem.

Trust was.

Breaking away, she took a few steps back, wrapped her arms around herself and caught her breath. She could not trust Riley to put her best interests or Derek’s first. Deep down, she still believed …

“What are you thinking?” he asked, his voice gruff as if the kiss had shaken him up, too.

“We can’t let that happen. We can’t! I have to keep Derek in mind. He could unite our families, or he could be a pawn between them.”

“Do you think I’d use him?”

“I don’t know,” she said honestly.

For a moment he looked as if he were going to erupt. But then he shook his head, took a walk across the kitchen and then back to her again. “You’re the one who left, Brenna. You’re the one who walked away when I wanted to go public and tell everybody you were my girlfriend. So why won’t you trust me?”

“Because I’ll never know if you started an affair with me in high school because you really wanted me, or because you wanted to get back at my father.”

Riley went completely still, and she could see defensive pride sliding over him once more. “If we’re going to be Derek’s parents, if we’re going to make decisions about him together and decide what’s best for his life, we have to figure out a way to trust each other.”

“That could take some time,” she pointed out.

The tension in the kitchen was thick enough to grab and break in two. The snap and crackle of their attraction was like a force field surrounding them. She’d always felt drawn to Riley and now was no exception. But she knew she couldn’t give in to that need to be held. She couldn’t give in to the desire to let him kiss her. Not if she wanted to keep a clear head. Not if she wanted to make the right decisions for her and her son.

“I have to think of Derek first.”

He must have seen that she meant it. He must have seen that everything was about their baby.

Rubbing his hand over his face, he decided, “We’re going to pick out everything Derek needs together.” Then he opened the refrigerator again, pulled out cheese and a quart of milk. “Let’s eat lunch. We’re both going to have to keep our strength up for whatever happens next.”

Did he mean possibly running into her father? Or did he mean living under the same roof with her?

Brenna sat in Riley’s guest bedroom and checked the alarm clock. It was after midnight and it wasn’t Derek’s soft baby sounds that were keeping her awake. She loved hearing those. She loved putting her hand on his little heart, making sure it was beating. No, what was keeping her awake was the way the whole afternoon had played out. Riley really didn’t trust her any more than she trusted him. When he’d made that appointment with the pediatrician for tomorrow, she had to ask herself—did he really think she’d slept around? Did he really think she’d gone home to New York after the reunion and slept with someone else?

He was already acting like a dad, so maybe he did believe Derek was his. After they’d gotten home with all the supplies, and Derek had been fussy because he was overtired, Riley had taken him into his arms, rocked him, walked him, talked to him like a dad would. Every time he did, her heart broke a little bit because she’d be going back to New York and he’d be staying here. They hadn’t talked about that in detail yet. That would be a humdinger of a conversation. It would be a few weeks until the DNA results came back, so maybe they’d put off the discussion until then.

With the windows open Brenna heard night sounds she’d forgotten. She was used to lights and sirens blaring, and horns honking and trucks rumbling even at night. She wasn’t used to the silence any more, the call of the owls, the rustling of branches, the sometimes utter stillness. Scents of sage and pine drifted in the window as she heard Riley moving about in his room, heard the creak of his bed, the sound of the light switching on and off. Was he as restless as she was?

Maybe a bowl of cereal would help. That is, if Riley had cereal. She could always just have a glass of milk. The small crib on wheels they’d bought was set up beside the bed now. A mobile dangled on one side. She stood by it, looking down at her sleeping son. He was practically her whole world. Overnight she’d gone from a self-absorbed career woman to a mom. Derek had changed everything about her life.

But the career woman in her still had a to-do list. She’d have to check in with her store manager tomorrow, then with her fabric supplier, not to mention her PR consultant.

Time to get that cereal, she decided, stopping the racing thoughts.

Rubbing her hand in a full circle over Derek’s back, she finally left him and went to the kitchen.

After opening two of the upper cupboards, she found what she was looking for and she had to smile. This was the same kind of cereal Riley liked in high school—sweet and sticky. Old times were the best times? Maybe that was true for her and Riley.

She was pouring cereal into a bowl when he entered the kitchen. She looked up and her breath practically stopped. He was shirtless and the waist button of his jeans was unsnapped. She couldn’t seem to pull her gaze from all that black hair running a route down his chest.

“Want some company?” he asked.

“Can’t sleep, either?” she might as well just ask.

“My head’s too full of everything that’s going on, about Derek and things I should do for him.”

“And about me being under your roof? My parents not liking that idea one little bit?”

When he approached her and stopped right beside her, she wished she’d stayed in her room. He was all man, all temptation, all Riley, and he was close enough to touch.

“Having you under my roof is keeping me awake, too. Add that to your list.” Desire was in his eyes and she could feel an answering response to it in her belly. So he wouldn’t see it, she turned away, went to the refrigerator and pulled out the milk.

“You’re running, Brenna.”

“I’m not running. I’m turning away from what shouldn’t happen. I’m getting a midnight snack. Do you want one or not?” She knew she was being defensive and that she wasn’t handling the attraction between them very well. But she had to put some kind of barrier between them or they wouldn’t only tumble into bed, they’d tumble into heartache.

He caught her arm and she stopped moving. Gazing up into his so-blue eyes, she felt her resistance melting away, and that wasn’t good.

“Exactly how long are you going to stay in Miners Bluff?”

So that’s what was bothering him. “A month. I have to get back to be ready for my fall show.”

He looked somewhat relieved as if he’d expected her to say she’d be leaving at the end of the week.

She asked a question that had been in her mind all afternoon. “When are you going to tell your dad and the rest of your family about Derek?”

“I have to figure out the best way to do it.”

“Best way?”

“My father’s sober now. He has been for the past five years. I don’t want to do anything that’s going to rock that boat.”

“My father never meant to destroy your dad’s life. You’ve got to know that.”

He appeared to measure his words carefully as he said, “No, I don’t know that. I know your father was a ruthless businessman. All he cared about was expanding his department store. When my dad couldn’t pay rent to him, your father took advantage of that. He stepped right in, and kicked him out.”

“It was a business decision!”

Now Riley’s composure cracked a little as bitterness seeped out. “Maybe he should have looked behind the business of it. My dad was already sinking financially and that made sure he sank. Then my mom didn’t stick around because she was tired of four kids pulling on her, tired of hardly making ends meet, tired of being with a man who couldn’t get back on his feet. After she left, Jack Daniels became Dad’s best friend. Sometimes, I swear, he didn’t even know we were around. If I hadn’t worked at the grocery store and gotten day-old bread and expired meat, I’m not sure what would have happened.”

Brenna had never known that things were that bad for the O’Rourkes. Oh, yes, she’d known her father had pushed Liam O’Rourke out of the restaurant so he could expand his department store. But she’d never known the rest.

“Riley, I’m sorry. I never knew. Even in high school, you never said.”

“Back then, I was afraid of your opinion. I was afraid of anyone’s opinion. The O’Rourkes stood on their own. They made do. They got by. Now we’re all on our feet, even Dad. I don’t want to do anything that might make him pick up that bottle again.”

Maybe so. But Riley was forgetting something. “We went to my father’s department store together and stopped for gas. Tomorrow we’re going to the pediatrician. You know Miners Bluff. If your dad doesn’t hear it from you, he’s going to hear it from someone else very soon.”

Riley’s gaze told her he’d already thought of that, and he was worried about it.

Brenna stepped back to the cupboard and took out another cereal bowl, but Riley shook his head.

“Never mind. I think I’m going to go outside on the porch for a bit. Enjoy your snack.”

She wanted to tell him he needed a shirt. She wanted to tell him the temperature had dipped like it always did at night here. But she didn’t get the chance to tell him anything because he left the kitchen and went out the front door.

Riley still didn’t want her pity. He still had his pride. He’d rather be cold than sit in the kitchen with her.

That thought tightened her throat.