Читать книгу A Grateful Dragon - Karla Schuurs - Страница 4

Sunny called as Mira was pulling into the carport.

“Hey girrrrl,” Mira trilled, with her phone jammed in her neck as she turned the car off.

“Watcha doin’ this weekend?” Sunny’s vibrant tone beamed back through the phone, shooting Mira with a warm zing that instantly took the ice off her mood.

“Watching Netflix and livin’ the dream,” Mira chuckled into the phone, extracting it carefully from between her neck and her shoulder, “Why baby?”

“Wellllll, those jeans we spent three hours wrestling up over my bum in that change room were worth it! I was thinking now you and David are a thing we could do like a double-date?”

“You’re still seeing the same guy? Geez, you guys must be up to like your third date! Now who’s going the chapel and dreaming of picket fences and babies and puppies?”

Sunny laughed heartily, but for once she didn’t fight it. “I think this guy might be the one,” she gushed down the phone.

Mira had never heard Sunny talk like this, with such a softness in her tone. Mira could feel the content, honey-warm energy pouring down the phone to her.

“Ohhh baby I’m so happy for you,” Mira beamed back.

“So you in?” Sunny persisted.

It didn’t make any sense, but for some reason Mira got a lump like a stone coughed in her throat for a moment.

“Yeah, I’ll just have to check with David if he’s free,” Mira stumbled out, mentally reefing a grip on herself.

“Awwww please girl. That man’s so smitten it’s like you’ve got your own personal puppy.”

“Yeah always sniffing around my arse,” Mira shot back then pulled herself up. That sounded bitchy.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” she tried to retract.

“Oh come on! You love it. He’s surely got to be the most attentive fuccer in the universe.”

“I wouldn’t know. Honestly Sunny, we haven’t yet. I’m over rushing shit.”

“Yeah me too,” Sunny almost sung back through the phone, “When it’s special, it’s worth savouring every step.”

Who is this??!

“Yeah,” Mira blurted back, but that wasn’t what she’d meant at all.

“So how ‘bout that bar Flying Phoenix? You said it was mad.”

“Yeah but…”

“Mira! You can’t let one dick keep you from going places for fuccs sakes, like you’re on a restraining order with life.”

Sunny was right. If Mira let her painful memories of Rex dictate her existence she may as well be a hermit.

“You’re right, and it’s an awesome place. Let’s do it.”

“Cool, about 8?”

“Perfect.”

But as Mira hung up a shiver tingled down her spine. She was sure she heard Miracle Man chortling, as he sat in the cosmos in his deck chair. And he never turned up unless the Universe had its ladle out ready to stir your pot.

Mira sniffed out trying to dismiss her premonition jitters.

The rest of the week went along pretty much as per normal.

Mira met with David for dinner after work on Wednesday. It was a really fancy restaurant that David had picked in the city. He always took Mira to super expensive, fancy restaurants; as casually as Mira might suggest fish and chips on the beach. It honestly made Mira feel nauseous. She detested to her bones not paying her own way and there was no way she could afford to eat at these places every week. David paid every time and didn’t blink over it, like he couldn’t comprehend her point-of-view. And besides not paying, which irked Mira’s soul to no end, she could just never relax in those places. She felt beady eyes on her the whole time, judging her budget shoes and frizzy hair. Mira was always neat and clean, obsessively so; but she wasn’t money, and money could sniff out broke-ass a mile away, like someone had stepped in dog shit.

And on gawd! If Mira had thought Jen was loaded. David’s family money made Jen’s 18th birthday party of faced-painted Indian elephants, flocking the grounds near the pavilion; look like a drunk clown at a one year old’s backyard birthday barbecue.

It made Mira feel sick just thinking about it.

She’d gone over for dinner at David’s one time. Mira had honestly put in so much effort, which was out of character. Jen lent her a dress, she spent over an hour on her hair and make-up; and even took over the most beautiful, huge bunch of peonies.

But the minute those grand, double doors opened; Mira had just felt like a scrub who’d picked some flowers out of the neighbours garden on the way.

David’s parents acted very politely, but when you can see energy, you can see people’s judgement and disappointment radiating out of them like a thick cloud. Mira wasn’t good enough for David, she felt it. Regardless, she wore a bright steel smile the whole night, because they weren’t to know that she knew the truth.

Mira sat fidgeting uncomfortably in the restaurant and picking paint self-consciously out of her nails as David complained about upcoming exams. He was at the end of his masters in economics, and was going into the family business full time as soon as he was finished at the end of the year. That’s why his family tolerated Mira for now. She was just a stop-gap in their eyes.

…and maybe they had a point.

Although David complained to no end about his parents not understanding him, and not listening to what he wanted; Mira also saw the lack of conviction in his heart. He wasn’t ready to rock the family boat, maybe he never would be, and he wasn’t half as discontent as he made out - she could feel it. He had a family heart and staying loyal to his family was apart of his happiness. She didn’t exactly need to be a mind reader to see that, but it didn’t hurt either.

So David was complaining about exams coming up, and apologising to Mira that he would be busy for a few weeks.

“That’t ok,” Mira said too brightly, then she back-peddled seeing the disheartened ash flurries in his energy shift.

“I mean, don’t feel bad,” Mira reached across and took his hand, “I’m busy too. I’ve got the court case coming up.”

Mira’s guts churned.

“I thought you weren’t going to testify?” David rebutted, getting protective rhinoceros-like horns surging up through his aura.

Mira shrugged, “With me as witness it’s an open and close case. I’m still not 100% about it to be honest, but if it means it’s over. Anyway, there’s some preparation involved. So by the time it’s done and dusted then your exams will be finished. Perfect timing,” Mira smiled.

It was strained, like those smiles you see on kids’ faces in Santa pictures when they’re terrified for their life but trying their darnedest to suck it up while their parents assure them from a good two metres away.

“We should go away afterwards!” David beamed with sparkling new epiphany enveloping him.

Mira grimaced, retracting her hand.

“I know you wanna see your Mum and Lai settled and don’t want to be too far from them yet. Even a long weekend. To celebrate. Where do you wanna go?”

Mira shrugged.

She didn’t feel ready for that. But they’d been dating two months already, how much longer could she expect to fend him off for?

“It’s just near Christmas, that’ll be expensive,” Mira tried.

David looked at Mira completely blankly.

She rolled her eyes inside, he didn’t get it.

“Pop’s got a beach house down the coast? We could stay there if it’s free,” Mira conceded.

David shook his head “Nah, how ‘bout the Maldives? It’s perfect for a short trip. Nothing to do but stay in bed.”

Mira swallowed down bile.

“I can’t afford it,” She blurted out truthfully.

“How many times do I have to tell you?” David asked, but not unkindly, “You’re my girl. You don’t have to worry about money.”

Just then they both looked up to the waiter, standing over them looking down his nose at Mira’s paint-splattered hair.

Mira’s guts churned. She hated the way she had no hope of ever keeping up with David.

He didn’t see it, but Mira wasn’t anyone’s charity. Never had been and never would be.

Everything she had she earned. It was important to her.

Not that David didn’t understand work ethic. He got perfect marks in all his subjects at university. That’s not easy, no matter how much money or brains God gave you. He worked in his family business part time, as his dad was training him to take over the reigns more seriously next year. David also coached kids tennis. And he didn’t chase coin with coaching. He coached the underdog kids that otherwise would never get a shot. That’s how Lai was discovered, because David gave his precious little time to keeping kids off the street through the sport he loved.

Lai’ll have a shot at a real future in competitive tennis that she never could have if it wasn’t for David.

He charged minimal for his coaching sessions, just enough so the kids and parents appreciate the value of his time; and donated huge amounts of money to kids’ sport.

And you didn’t pick David as a coach, he poached you from the broke-ass, local public schools.

He played tennis competitively as well, just the regional and state stuff. He could further, but stayed loyal to his parents wishes. And they didn’t want him to be an athlete.

The guy worked hard and was honourable. He was just in a different situation. He saw money as a way through life, a means to an end. But Mira took money, and her pride in providing, more emotionally.

David waited for Mira to order.

As usual she didn’t understand the menu. Mira was already feeling flustered just sitting in this pretentious place with its crystal water glasses and soft piano music in the background, so the menu just blurred around the edges.

“Is there anything close to a chicken schnitzel?” She almost begged at the waiter, who pulled his lip down in a grimace.

“It’s Japanese baby, here I’ll order.”

David casually and fluidly rattled off to the waiter, who nodded approvingly with a soft “excellent choices sir.”

Mira was washed with relief that she didn’t have to try and fumble humiliatingly through an order.

“You look beautiful,” David said, and Mira’s eyes popped. Then she chuckled “I think I have paint in my hair.”

“You’re still beautiful. I’m batting way above my average.”

He said that quite a bit, which was entirely untrue even though Mira could see he believed it.

She was a broke, potty-mouthed, frizzy haired nobody who worked at a deli and spent all her spare time paining up a storm that no-one else was very interested in.

David was hot. Mira couldn’t deny it. And athletic, and smart, and rich, and had a bright future, and was really kind; and always worn nice clothes and smelt good.

The best Mira ever smelt of was turpentine. And usually she smelt like smoked meat as well.

Mira couldn’t explain exactly why she was holding out on him, keeping herself at a strict physical and emotional distance.

Maybe it was just too much too soon?

It hadn’t been that long since Dad…

Then there was Mr Reed…

And she had this blasted court case looming over head head like a noose.

And Rex…

Urrrr…

They barely did more than hold hands, Mira and David. David had tried to kiss Mira a couple of times, and she’d pulled away from each one. He was being patient to the point of ridiculous with her and she didn’t understand why.

“Oh! This Saturday night. Are you free?”

“Sure,” David’s eyes glistened and little volcanic burst of energy piped from him. Usually he initiated all their contact.

“K, Sunny’s been dating a guy, more than like twice,” Mira giggled, “And wants to do a double date dinner.”

“Cool, I’ve gotta tag along to Dad’s golf day. What time?”

“Eight o’clock, at a bar called Flying Phoenix,” Mira mumbled over the name.

“Oh sweet! I love that place!”

Yeah, exactly Mira. Settle the fucc down, heaps of people go there, Mira scorned herself for being so stupidly reactive over a freakin’ bar.

“I’ll meet you there then?” Mira continued, straining for a casual tone. David didn’t seem to notice the current of tension running just under her surface.

The food came and it was amazing!

Mira realised that, although she loved food and cooking, she was really sheltered when it came to different cuisine. It couldn’t hurt her to get out more and try new things.

She gushed all over dinner, unable to contain her enthusiasm for culinary mastery.

“Ohhhh m’gawd, this is delicious!”

“It’s good yeah,” David nodded.

His phone buzzed. He looked at it then pushed it aside.

“You can answer it,” Mira beamed; a happy, food-appreciating mood enveloping her.

“Sure? It’s Dad. He’s been pushing to get me more involved in the business, since I’ll be full-time swallowed by obligation… I mean, proudly stepping into an active role in the family business next year.”

“That soon? “ Mira mused through mouthfuls.

“Yep,” David sighed.

“You know, you can still play tennis, and coach. It’s not like the world stops.”

“I honestly don’t see how. Dad’s expecting me to put in the long hours. He’s ready to semi-retire, or at least take a back step.”

“I think you’re just stuck in the mind set you can’t,” Mira blurted out. An instant pang hit Mira’s heart, as her brain registered the memory from virtually weeks ago of Rex saying those exact words to her.

Mira felt herself concave. She retreated into herself, on instinct, like a hermit crab folding back on itself to hide inside a shell that no longer fitted. Mira physically hunched over her plate as David excused himself and went outside to take the call.

Stop it Mira! She grilled herself, blinking back the burning tears prickling at her eyes.

Why was forgetting about Rex so goddamn hard??!

It was just the bloody hospital on Monday, Mira rationalised to herself. It had just stirred up memories. That was all.

A young girl in a white, flowing energy dress, with dazzling golden hair drifted over and sat next to Mira. Her hair beamed so bright that golden, electric currents sparked off her head like a halo.

“I have a wonderful surprise for you,” The young girl’s voice tinkled to Mira’s ears like wind chimes in a soft, spring breeze.

“Who are you?” Mira hissed, feeling self-conscious of anyone seeing her having a conversation with David’s dinner plate.

“I am Love,” The young apparition declared with adoration and enthusiasm saturating her tone.

“You? A kid playing dress-ups in your Mumma’s wedding gown is the Great force Love?” Mira scoffed, “I don’t buy it. Way too cliché.”

“I though you, of all people Little Squirrel, would appreciate that sometimes, something seemingly slight can hold an underestimated amount of power.”

Mira had to concede to that point.

“Ok show me quickly. My date’s coming back and I don’t want him baring witness to me hissing at his sushi.”

She tinkled a giggle and gestured into the distance behind Mira.

Mira was gobsmacked.

The restaurant dissolved in enveloping fog. Mira got up and walked a little way. She was in a wood. Dew droplets adorned leafless, black tree branches in tiny, glistening diamonds.

The bare tree skeletons told Mira it was winter here in this place. Misty rain shrouded the scene in a delicate natural veil.

Mira was now draped in the white flowing energy.

There was someone over the other side of the woods waiting for her, but Mira could only see a silhouette through the fog. She felt an energy pull though, like a magnet drawing her closer.

She knew it was a him.

Mira moved her head around, trying to see him, but the fog was too thick. He turned around and she felt he might of smiled…

Mira gasped!

“Where are you going?” David said catching her ‘round the shoulders.

Mira's mind raced, clutching for a logical lie.

“Oh, to. the. ladies,” Mira stuttered out in broken English.

“K, see you back at the table,” David chuckled.

Mira nodded to the floor.

How embarrassing.

For the rest of the evening Mira kept an even lower profile than usual, just nodding and smiling at all the right moments to David’s chatter.

But her soul was distracted.

She couldn’t shake the feeling from her vision.

It had felt compelling, and right.

Uhhhhhh…

Gawdy, she had to get out of her own head.

David continued to talk amiably as he walked Mira to her car, and she continued to half-listen as her mind raced with possibilities for a painting of a child-bride in a misty winter wood.

As Mira blipped her key at her car in auto-pilot, David reached over. He took her forearms in his hands gently and kissed her forehead with tenderness.

It stung her subconscious back to reality.

“Oh! What was that for?” Mira blurted out.

Geez, he’s your boyfriend for fucc’s sake girl. Mira chastised herself inside.

“I just can’t wait ‘till we get some real time together. I know I’ve been super busy, and you’ve had a hell of a time.”

As David spoke to her, Mira brushed a fly-away lock out of her eyes. Her hair wasn’t bothering her, she just couldn’t look at that intense stare in his eyes a moment longer, feeling like it was pulling on something in her that wasn’t there.

“I know the timing for us getting together is shit-house Mira, but I’m just so damn grateful you’re mine.”

Mira’s guts flinched and she tried not to wince.

“I’ll never forgive myself for not being braver earlier. I can’t help but think if we had of already been together, that you would never have been in that situation with your cunt of a boss. It wouldn’t of happened. It’s my fault and I could have saved you. I’m sorry, you’ll never know how much…”

“Hey,” Mira cut David off, “It’s not your fault.”

Mira took his downcast head in her hands and lifted his golden-brown eyes up to hers “It’s not your fault.”

David lent in and kissed Mira, and she let him.

But truth be told his touch didn’t penetrate past her skin; didn’t touch her mind, her heart, her soul, not like… well that was over so no point comparing.

Mira slammed her mind shut.

Stop it! Stop comparing them, she hissed at herself inside.

David’s lips softly released Mira’s and she blurted out “I’m sorry too.”

“What for?” David looked questioningly down at her, still holding her gently but firmly around the shoulders.

“For not being a very good girlfriend.”

David smiled. It was a bright, grateful smile; and it reached all the way to his sparkling, mocha eyes.

It was the first time Mira had felt something passed the surface for David. That smile gripped her inside somewhere for a moment, and held her attention.

“I get it. You’ve had a hell of a year and then some, and I wish I had of been there, been closer… I could have protected you,” Mira started shaking her head, but David went on, “But I’m here now and I’ll be damned if I let anything ever hurt you again. I promise you Mira, I’ll make sure this year ends better for you than it began - it’ll be the best end to the most fucced up year.”

Mira blurted out a spurt of laughter and David chuckled too.

“Ok,” Mira smiled, nodding between giggles, “Lets start with Saturday night then eh?”

“I love it! Flying Phoenix is seriously awesome. Can’t believe I never thought to take you before.”

“It’s ok,” Mira brushed a sweeping, dismissive hand as David leant over and opened the car door for her.

“There’s only three things on the menu…” Davide began.

“But they’re all amazing,” Mira finished his sentence, and that bright spark to her heart had morphed to a sick thud in her guts, remembering Rex telling her the same thing.

“Yeah,” David replied, a bit startled.

Mira nodded, retreating in on herself again, for protection from those painful…

On Gawwwwd, motha-fuccin’ beautiful memories of that night with Rex.

“I’ve been there before too,” Mira said to her steering wheel and she ducked under David’s arm into the car. All Mira wanted to do now in blind, irrational desperation was drive far, far away from the conversation; and from herself.

“There’s a dance floor, well sort of. Maybe I can get you up on your twinkle toes,” David continued to prattle brightly.

Mira groaned inside.

Uhhhhh David, you always just push me too far.

“No way,” Mira said finally, with a charity smile up at him.

“That’s not exactly a no,” David gave her a wide, cheesy grin.

“It’s a no and a half,” Mira shot back smiling, but she meant it.

Even if she was Anna fuccin Pavlova, nobody would ever get her dancing at Flying Phoenix again. Irrational as it was Mira didn’t care.

Line drawn.

Nobody.