Читать книгу The By Request Collection - Kate Hardy - Страница 34

Four

“The first few months after my rescue were almost unbearable,” Roman told her. “I couldn’t stop thinking about the men who didn’t make it out alive. The ones who were killed in front of me, in cold blood. The survivor guilt was worse than the actual torture. I would have given my life for any one of those men. The scars will never go away, but I’ve made peace with myself. It wasn’t easy, though.”

She gazed over at him, her eyes filled with pain and regret. “I used to feel as though, because of everything that happened between us, if it hadn’t been for me, you would have never joined the military in the first place. Like, maybe if I wasn’t so hard on you...if I could have forgiven you...” She shrugged. “It doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, I know.”

The idea that she felt guilt over his leaving both surprised and disturbed him. “Gracie, my joining up had nothing to do with you. I screwed up. I was arrogant and cocky and I messed with the wrong people. Even if you had forgiven me I wouldn’t have stayed because then your life would have been in danger, too. Besides, the military is in my blood. I fought it for a long time, but it’s where I was meant to be.”

What she didn’t realize was that if it hadn’t been for her, he may not have even survived the torture. Picturing her face, believing that if he endured he might see her again, had given him a reason to live as he watched his fellow soldiers die, picked off one by one as the rest had been forced to watch. One of those men had been his closest friend. A husband and father of three. To this day Roman would still give anything to switch places with him. But all he could do now was make sure that the man’s family was taken care of financially. He’d set up a trust for them in their father’s name. Even that hadn’t assuaged the guilt, but it made it easier to live with the pain.

He leaned forward, closing the gap between them, and took Gracie’s hand. It was so small and delicate compared to his own. And she didn’t even try to pull away. “Trust me when I say you were better off staying away from me. And you hold no responsibility for my mistakes. I was the one who turned my back on you. I didn’t trust you. I was young and stupid and arrogant. It was my fault.”

The limo pulled up to the Metropol hotel where the fund-raiser was being held but she didn’t let go of his hand or break eye contact. The driver steered the car into the parking structure to the VIP entrance underground. When they stopped, an attendant opened the door but Gracie just sat there looking at Roman, then she squeezed his hand.

“Roman, when I heard the false reports that you were killed, I thought I couldn’t feel any worse. Then I learned of your capture, and the torture...” She paused and took a deep breath. “I know that it was nothing compared to what you were going through, but I want you to know that I thought about you and prayed for you every day.”

Deep down he knew that. Maybe that was why he still felt such a strong bond to her. “Gracie, that means more to me than you could ever know.”

* * *

Gracie had helped plan more charity functions than she could count, and she had to admit that the Welcome Home decorating committee had seriously outdone themselves this time. Red, white and blue tulle swirled tastefully overhead, garnished with American flag balloons and crepe streamers. The tables had been draped in white linen with blue cloth napkins and red rose centerpieces. The decor screamed patriotism and valor. And in the center of it all against the back wall a slideshow of the wounded warriors and their families the foundation had assisted played on a huge screen.

The crowd was a who’s who of Chicago, with a handful of Hollywood personalities mixed in. From where she stood she could see Roman mingling with the other guests. He looked damned fine in a tux, and the slightly rumpled hair coupled with the battle scars made him look rugged and a little dangerous. Yet somehow he fit right in.

One of the tallest and biggest men there, Roman had turned heads the minute they walked through the door. She felt an odd sense of pride to be there with a man whom she considered to be by far the sexiest, most gorgeous in the room. Only they weren’t there together, she reminded herself. Not in a romantic way. She had no claim to him, nor did she want one. Though she couldn’t deny that a tiny part of her, deep down inside, wished she did.

Okay, maybe it wasn’t so tiny. And she hated herself for it. For being so weak. And irrational. For wanting a man who did her and her family so wrong. But her body kept betraying her.

Roman glanced her way, saw her watching him, and a sly grin curled his lips. He said something to the man he’d been speaking with then headed her way, and her heart shifted wildly in her chest.

When he took her hand in the limo she’d just about melted into a puddle on the leather seat. She’d wanted to pull away, and scold him for being so personal, but she just couldn’t make herself do it. It was hard enough to fight the desire to launch herself into his arms and hold him.

But he wasn’t hers to hold.

Though as he came up next to her, sliding her hand back into his would have felt as natural as breathing.

Damn him.

“See something you like?” he asked, a suggestive lilt in his tone. One that she was sure was meant to rattle her cage. And it worked.

She gestured randomly in the direction he’d come from, sighed wistfully and said, “Yes, but I think he’s married.”

Roman threw his head back and laughed. “You’re a terrible liar.”

Yes, she was, and he knew her too well. She had to fight the irrational urge to lean in close, so that their arms touched.

Back in the old days Roman had never been shy about physical affection in public. He’d always held her hand, no matter where they were.

When she started college she hadn’t had a whole lot of sexual experience. Too many times she’d been deceived by men who were only interested in her money and family name. Trust had been a difficult concept to grasp back then. And though she had sacrificed her innocence to one of the men before Roman, she had never surrendered her heart. Sex had been something fun to do, but not emotionally satisfying. She had never come close to connecting emotionally to anyone the way she had with Roman. When they’d finally crossed the line from friends to lovers, she’d been so ready, and so desperately in love with him, making love had been truly magical.

And she had the sneaking suspicion that it still would be, not that she would ever find out.

“Are you having a good time?” she asked him.

“Better than I thought I would. I’m not big on large crowds.”

“Then why did you come?”

“I couldn’t let the most beautiful woman here show up without a date.”

She glared at him, though a smile hovered just below the surface. “This is not a date.”

He shrugged. “So you keep saying.”

She heard someone call her name and looked away from Roman to see Dax Caufield, the newest addition to the state senate, making a beeline for them, flashing that renowned campaign smile. Dax was a typical politician, but a decent guy. She had no doubt that with his good looks and charm he would eventually work his way up the Washington food chain. Though she didn’t agree with all of his politics, in a world where lies and half-truths were almost expected, he seemed to be a genuinely good and honest man who believed in his positions. He could be a little overbearing, and a touch arrogant, but that usually went along with the territory. He always struck her as honest and morally sound, so much so that for a short time, for his current state senate seat, she had been an assistant campaign manager. Working behind the scenes, using her experience as an event planner, she’d arranged most of his local speaking engagements and fund-raising events, though it had been the volunteers who did the majority of the work. If there was one thing she excelled at, it was delegation. And because Dax was so popular and well liked, finding people to help had never been an issue.

Still, though he was very attractive and charismatic, he couldn’t hold a candle to Roman.

“Grace!” he said, beaming as he gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek. “I’m so glad you could be here!”

“I wouldn’t have missed it,” she said, and turned to Roman. “Roman, this is State Senator Dax Caufield. He sponsored this event.”

“Roman Slater,” Dax said, vigorously shaking Roman’s hand. “It’s an honor to meet you. I’ve heard good things about you. And let me say thank you for your service.”

Roman nodded, but didn’t smile. He was typically rather gregarious but something in his eyes said Dax had rubbed him the wrong way. She was curious to know why, since Roman didn’t even know him.

Dax hooked an arm around Gracie’s shoulders and told Roman, “This woman is a godsend. She was indispensable during my campaign and she helped to plan this event. I don’t know what I would have done without her.”

“I think you may be exaggerating a little,” Grace said with a smile. “But I did what I could to help.”

“It’s a privilege to have a true war hero with us tonight,” Dax told Roman.

“Every soldier is a hero,” Roman said sharply. “And deserves the same honor.”

His tone took Gracie aback, but before the situation could get awkward, or escalate, someone called to Dax and he turned his attention to Gracie, his smile never wavering. “I’d like to speak with you later about a few ideas I had for the foundation. In the meantime work your magic.”

Gracie smiled. “You know I will.”

He winked, then said to Roman, “Have a good time.”

When he was gone, Roman said, “I don’t like that guy.”

Puzzled, Gracie asked, “Why?”

Frowning, he shrugged. “Just a feeling. And what did he mean by work your magic?”

“Let’s just say that I have a gift for fund-raising.”

Roman looked around. “Then you’ve got your work cut out for you. This is quite the guest list. Is there anyone here who isn’t rich and famous?”

“Not at ten grand a ticket.”

His brows tipped upward. “Is that what I’m paying to be here?”

“Not exactly. I pulled some strings.”

For the next half hour or so Gracie introduced Roman around and word spread fast of the “genuine” war hero in their midst. At one point she completely lost track of him, only to see him later on the dance floor with a very popular and very young Hollywood starlet. They were talking and laughing, and she was looking as if she wanted to eat Roman up as a midnight snack.

A wave of jealousy gripped Gracie so intensely she felt like throwing up.

What was wrong with her? She had no right to be jealous. She had no right to feel anything at all. She knew for a fact that Roman was single, so it only made sense that he would socialize and flirt. And it wasn’t as if he was there as her real date. She’d said it herself: they were only there as acquaintances.

But knowing that didn’t make her feel any better. In fact, it only made her feel worse.

Roman glanced over and caught her watching before she could avert her eyes. So when she did look away, it appeared as if she was trying not to get caught staring. Which of course was exactly the case.

She just couldn’t seem to win tonight.

“Hey, you!”

She turned to find her sister Eve approaching with a dazzling smile filled with so much love and affection it warmed Gracie’s heart. While Gracie favored their mother’s side of the family, Eve was a Winchester through and through. Tall, athletic and elegantly beautiful, Eve had the trademark Winchester green eyes and a dazzling smile. Her hair was perfect, her makeup flawless, and her dress sleek and stylish. No one who didn’t know her would guess that underneath the glamorous facade lurked a ruthless businesswoman. Nor would they know that despite her svelte figure, she would soon be trading her sleek size-zero wardrobe for maternity clothes, which had inspired Gracie to consider a designer maternity line of her own. “Hey back, beautiful! You’re positively glowing.”

Eve hugged her and air-kissed her on each cheek. “And you look lovely as always. Is that dress one of your designs?”

Grace shook her head. “It’s Armani.”

As much as she loved her own fashions, to wear them to a function for charity felt arrogant and tacky, as though she was a walking billboard for herself. She was proud of her accomplishments, but too humble to be so forward and flashy.

“How have you been feeling?” she asked Eve.

“Pretty good. A little queasy in the mornings, and I’ve been tired, but I can’t complain.”

Gracie gazed around the room looking for her soon-to-be brother-in-law. Though he and Eve had been through a rough time, it had only brought them closer together, and made their love for each other and their commitment to their relationship that much stronger. In a way she envied her sisters for finding the loves of their lives. Had it not been for Roman’s deceit, she might be married with a family of her own. She’d dated casually over the years, but always made building her business her main priority. She’d always just assumed that when the right one came along, she would know. She would feel that spark of excitement and attraction. The one she’d felt the first time she laid eyes on Roman all those years ago.

But she hadn’t even come close.

“Is Brooks here?” she asked her sister.

“He was called out of town on business. But he’ll be back for the party at the children’s hospital site Sunday. Everyone’s excited to see the progress being made on the construction.”

“I really hoped that Nora and Reid would be here, so I could thank him.” Reid Chamberlain, her future brother-in-law, owned the hotel and had graciously donated the ballroom for the night, as well as posh rooms to the foundation’s most generous out-of-town guests.

Eve put a hand on Gracie’s shoulder and then asked in a hushed voice, “How are you holding up, baby? Are you all right?”

Holding up? The question struck her as odd, since Eve knew that Gracie loved formal functions. Especially fund-raisers. Schmoozing with the wealthy and divesting them of their inheritances and trust fund money were skills she excelled at. “Fine, why?”

“It must be difficult seeing Roman here. I didn’t even know he was on the guest list.”

Oh, that. She winced a little. How was she supposed to explain this one?

“I suppose it’s fitting considering his military status. And his financial success. He’s certainly made a name for himself in the past two years. It’s hard not to be impressed.”

It was very impressive, but for Gracie not at all surprising. She’d always known that someday he would be an incredible success. He had been as driven and dedicated to his studies and his career as Gracie. It was one of the reasons they had connected so instantly in college.

“He actually wasn’t on the guest list,” she said.

Eve’s brow wrinkled with confusion. “Oh. He came as someone’s guest?”

“Um, yeah.” Gracie hoped she would leave it at that.

But of course she didn’t. “Whose?”

“Well...”

Eve folded her arms, narrowed her eyes and flashed that don’t-screw-with-me look Gracie had seen countless times growing up, and said in a motherly voice, “Gracie...?”

She had no choice but to fess up. “Me. He came here with me.”

Her outrage made Gracie wince. “Why?”

“It’s not what you think. It’s not a date. We aren’t back together, or getting back together. It’s just business.”

“Considering the way he’s looking at you right now, I find that a little hard to believe.”

Gracie looked over to where Roman was now speaking with one of Hollywood’s most well-known power couples and an Illinois state representative. But his eyes were on her. He smiled and winked.

Oh hell. Why did he have to go and do that? Especially in front of her sister.

“I rest my case,” Eve said.

Gracie turned back to her sister. “The truth is, Daddy asked me to bring him.”

Eve closed her eyes and sighed deeply. “Oh, honey, what is he making you do now?”

Apparently even her sister thought their father’s overreaching was inappropriate. “He thinks Roman is up to something and he asked me to...well...”

Eve regarded her pensively. “To what?”

“He was hoping I might be able to find out what Roman is up to. Since he and I were so close before.”

Eve was not happy. “Who the hell does he think you are? James Bond?”

“That’s exactly what I thought, but he guilted me into it.” As usual. “He said he can’t take another scandal.”

Eve took her hands. “Honey, I know Daddy is very sick, and his time is limited, but you don’t have to do this. Not if it’s upsetting to you. There are other ways he can get what he needs. After everything Roman put you through...”

“It’s really okay,” Gracie said, and realized that she meant it. “He and I have unresolved issues. Maybe it’s time we clear the air. And let go of the past.”

“So do you think Roman is up to something?”

That question had been hounding her all night. “I don’t know. He takes full responsibility for the problems he caused us seven years ago, but says that he had nothing to do with spreading the rumors about Daddy’s alleged illegitimate children in the media this time around. That Brooks acted on his own with information that Roman warned him hadn’t been verified. Has Graham mentioned anything?”

Eve frowned. “We don’t talk about Brooks. And they don’t talk to each other right now. Graham is still furious with him. But if you want my personal opinion...”

Boy, did she ever. “Please.”

“Be careful.”

Her sister was right, but as Gracie glanced Roman’s way and their eyes met, and she felt that tingly anticipation, she wondered if she was already in way over her head.