Читать книгу Daniels Song - Katherine Dobney - Страница 6

“Hope… Hope, what are you looking at?”

“What?”

“I said, what you are looking at?”

I looked around me, coming back to reality. I was standing in the middle of the hall, slowing down the flow of traffic, and starring out one of the skylights.

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.”

And I definitely wasn’t. Was the sky always this blue? The clouds looked like spun white cotton candy. Anna looked at me with that puzzled look that I’d seen so many times before. Anna and I had known each other since we were in the third grade. Anna was tall, standing next to me, all five-foot-nine. She was a blue-eyed blond. We teased her about her blondness a lot, even though Anna was one of the smartest girls I knew. I was delighted she was one of my best friends.

My other dear friend was Toby: Tobias Winters named after his grandfather. He had threatened me when I was five, that if I ever called him Tobias he would make me eat a worm. And I still believed he would. I had known Toby all my life. He lived next door to us with his two sisters. It was Toby and I who had wanted to see the world in our hot air balloon. Okay… it was really just my tree house. We spent hours dreaming of places we would go and the marvels we would see looking down from the sky above.

We were the three musketeers, Toby, Anna, and I, until last summer. That’s when Kayla moved into the neighborhood and we became the four musketeers. It always seemed natural that the four of us had more in common than just our friendship. We all wanted to see the world together. To see the places people sent post cards from. And I wanted to see the great wonders of the world; at least what was left of them. All the places my dad told me stories about. To make those travels come true we all agreed you need a good job… a very good job, that pays good money. You needed a college degree, from a good school. And you needed good grades to get that. So we all enrolled in a program at high school called Stepping-up. We spend a half-day at the high school and evening classes at the college across the river. With our plan, we would graduate in June with a high school diploma in hand and one year of college finished as well. Plan [A] was coming together. All the hard work was paying off.

“Hope, after class we were going to stop at the mall, want to go?” Anna had that puppy dog look, the one I usually gave my dad.

“Sounds like fun, you driving?”

“Don’t I always?” she said with a smirk.

Anna had an old car that was her grandmother’s. It was a big white four-door sedan we called the ‘Boat’. Don’t get me wrong; we loved it. It fit all of our junk and the four of us with ease. To top it off it had a very large trunk for our shopping trips. What more did you want in a car? And like Anna always said, ‘It was free’.

You could tell what the plan of action was when we got to the mall. We stood by the car all facing in different directions.

Anna had a date with the dress shop. Kayla yearned to get to the bookstore. Toby sought out the technology. Yes, Toby was a techno geek. I was always on the hunt for some new music. We all stared at each other, with the, “okay, you win” look. Like always we would go as a group. I always felt sorry for Toby with girl stuff, but he didn’t seem to care. I guess with two sisters he got used to it.

The first store was “Bargain Books” for Kayla. She knew what she was looking for, even had a list. Her room at home had so many books it resembled a small bookstore. Books were stacked on shelves and some in piles in the corners like little towers.

We wandered between the aisles of books together. Observing the sign above his head, Toby giggled when he remarked, “Young Romance”?

Kayla gave him that ‘think about it’ gaze. “I spend most of my free time studying, or hanging out with you, I don’t date, and this” shaking a book in his face, “is as close to a boyfriend as I’m going to get.”

I gave Toby that ‘you started it’ look, putting my hand over my mouth and I started giggling.

The next stop was Toby’s hi-tech electronics store where he was in geek heaven. Okay I liked the store too. I liked the iPods and anything else I could listen to my music on.

The music shop was next. This was my domain. We all went to our neutral corners. Our taste in music was as different as the four of us. We even looked like we belonged in each place. Kayla, in her long skirts, wild colored tops, with her perfect cornrows. She blended into the Reggae corner with ease. Her music always seemed upbeat like her. Anna was country all the way. Even down to her pointed toe boots and snug jeans, though she ditched the cowboy hat in the eighth grade. Toby was all rock: concert tees was his statement. I didn’t have to look at him to know that. I could always hear the heavy metal beat from his bedroom since only eight feet distance and one six-foot fence, separated our bedroom windows. You heard everything. For me, I guess, I was new age. I liked all kinds of music. The music just had to make you feel something, happy, sadness, love, anything but a headache. If I wanted that I would just open my bedroom window more often.

Our last stop was a dress shop. Anna needed a fancy dress for a dinner dance she planned to go to with her parents. It wasn’t often we got to play dress-up since we spent most of our time in classes of some kind. Anna was searching for the perfect dress. She wanted to feel beautiful, to look like a Hollywood starlet. Taking the three of us with her was a big mistake, with a capital B. What was she thinking? We followed her in like we were her entourage.

“I like the blue one.”

“Do you like red?”

“Black goes with everything.”

“Straps or strapless?”

“The ‘girls’ would look great in this one.”

“What girls?”

And in unison, “Never mind Toby.”

We were like an army. They didn’t know what hit them, in and out with a dress in thirty minutes.

Carrying our bags to the car Toby had to ask, “Will some one please tell me what all that ‘girls’ stuff meant back there?”

It was Kayla who whispered in his ear making Toby turn bright red. She gestured and held her chest, “the girls” and smiled.

Toby just shook his head, “I give up”. On the drive home, every now and then, one of us would look at Toby and smile. He would turn red again, so the game was on.

As we pulled up to my house Anna said, “Hope, there won’t be any morning classes, so when do you want me to pick you up?”

“I’m having some Dad time tomorrow… How about, after dinner, say five? We’ll still have plenty of time.”

“That sounds like a plan to me.”

“Thanks Anna.” Anna was always on good terms with my dad, so it wouldn’t bother her hanging around the house with us.

As I walked up to the front door, the house seemed covered over in shadows. Dad was teaching an evening class tonight but as always he left the front porch light on for me. I turned on the lights and the music as I headed into the kitchen to find something for dinner.

After having something to eat and doing my homework, I decided to watch TV until Dad came home. In the background I could hear the rhythmic pounding of drums, over and over. I muted the TV only to discover the noise was coming from my purse. I pulled out my phone and recognized Toby’s face looking back at me. I pushed the ‘Accept’ without another thought.

“Well, it’s about time you answered.”

“Toby, what did you do to my phone?”

“Hope… can we…. talk?” Toby’s voice seemed so distant; I knew there was something wrong.

“Yes, you want to come over?”

“Tree house in five minutes?”

“Be there.” No other words were needed. I would be there for Toby, because Toby was always there for me.

I remember once when I was ten and Toby was eleven. We were walking in the woods across from our houses. By the time we started for home, it was dark. I was afraid to be in the woods in the dark but Toby kept telling me that there wasn’t anything to be afraid of. Even at that age Toby made me feel protected. That was until we were out in the open, and I saw my house. There were cops everywhere but the worst part was seeing Dad’s face. He was mad… beyond mad.

“Where have you been young lady?” he stammered.

I didn’t know what to say, but it was Toby who answered for us. “We were thinking of running away and joining the circus but we forgot our rubber noses.” I had to laugh and so did Dad. I was still in trouble but like always Toby made me feel better. Yes that’s what friends were for.

I grabbed my sweatshirt as I headed out the back door remembering when Toby’s dad and mine built the tree house. I must have been around seven.

The tree house was a special place. It sat in the small grove of pines in the backyard. It took our dads a month to build it, and every year, they would repair or upgrade it. It was a place where dreams and fantasies came true. But as I opened the door and walked in I only felt sadness. In the corner sat Toby with his head down, his arms wrapped around his knees.

“Are you okay?” I asked as I sat down beside him. Of course he wasn’t okay, I knew that much, just looking at him. But I didn’t know what else to say. “What’s wrong Toby?”

“Just caught a little off guard, I guess. Just unprepared… for some old feelings.”

It took me a few minutes to put together what he had just said. I leaned my head against Toby’s shoulder and noticed his eyes were about to tear up.

“Toby what happened?”

“I had everything ready for senior pictures. New T-shirt, jeans, even shoes, everything was ready, until Mom saw what I had picked out.”

“Your mom likes your style.” Toby’s mom always liked the idea of him being an individual. She always said there was something special about him.

“It’s not that, she liked the new T-shirt. She even liked my checkerboard shoes. She was talking about how things had changed from when she was my age. Girls always wore dresses, guys wore suits.” He paused, “Hope… I wanted to surprise her.”

As he spoke I saw the sadness in his eyes.

“I’ve always seen the pictures of the two of them, before they met each other. They were dressed up in prom pictures and senior pictures. I wanted to do something special for her. Did you know, when my Dad passed away, she had most of his things packed up in boxes in the attic?”

“No… ” I said softly, as I touched his face and he looked back at me. “Maybe it’s her way of hanging onto a little part of him.”

“I wanted to surprise her by dressing up a little. I thought it would look cool to wear a suit jacket, like in one of Dad’s photos. Something special for my Mom, and my grandfather. I went through the boxes, until I found one. It was jet black, with satin lapels, and looked great.”

“Then why do you look so sad?”

“It was when I was standing in front of the mirror. For a split second, it was as if my Dad was standing in front of me. I miss him so much. I used to dread the father-son talks. Now there are so many things I wish I could ask him.”

As I sat beside Toby with my head on his shoulder there were so many memories of his father still here in the tree house. The benches he built wide enough to sit on or even stretch out our feet as we read books. A funny little table was part of the trap door and the crooked windows. Our dad’s had spent a lot of their time off building it for us.

“I’m sorry Toby,” I said quietly.

“Don’t be… at least I had fifteen years of memories. I wish you had memories of your mom.”

My mom died when I was born and didn’t have any memories of her. Like Toby I had photographs and a few of her things in boxes that Dad thought I might want when I got older. But I couldn’t close my eyes and remember her laugh or smile.

“Thanks for listening to me.”

With a smile I looked at him, “What are best friends for?”

“Hope you’ve been more than a best friend. You’ve been around for every part of my life, the good and the bad. If it weren’t for you I’d still be laying in bed, with the blinds down, not thinking about tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow, I have a test.”

“I wasn’t talking about that. Hope when my dad died, you were there for me. When I wanted to lock myself in my bedroom, you literally dragged me out of it.”

“Kicking and screaming, the whole way,” I added.

“Maybe… okay quite a bit. But still you were there determined as usual. Sometimes I don’t know how you do it.”

“Do what?” I wondered.

“Be there for everyone. You’ve been like a leader to us. You’re one of the strongest willed person I know.”

“I am?”

“You make us feel important, you always do. You got us to dream of what we could be, and one day what we may become.”

“I did?”

“I know you can say more than two words at a time.”

“I know I can.” I said sarcastically. “Honestly Toby, I never thought of myself that way.”

“I know and that’s what makes you special.”

As I thought about it, I didn’t feel special. Weren’t people always supposed to be like this? I looked around our tree house as I continued to reflect. So many things seem to change, or maybe I was just growing up. I noticed the paint underneath our pictures and posters was starting to peel away from the walls. I remembered a few years ago when Toby and I painted them. We couldn`t decide on a color, so the walls were painted half one color for him, and another for me. I could recall all the adventures we had and all the practical jokes we played on each other. Which reminded me.

“Toby, what did you do to my phone?”

“I customized it.” he said with a smile, as he tried not to laugh.

“When?”

“Now you’re only speaking one word at a time.”

“When?”

“The other day, you handed me your purse and all your other stuff to hang onto while you talked to one of the teachers. It was vibrating in your purse. It was quite annoying, so I answered it.”

“You what!” shock streaked across my face as I wondered what he could have said.

“Don`t worry, it was a salesperson but I did have a little fun.”

With a smug smile on his face, I began to feel sorry for the salesperson.

“You were taking so long, I got bored. And your ring tone was boring enough. So I decided to change it. A good drum solo is like a heartbeat.”

We stayed in the tree house like that joking and laughing at each other until it was so dark that the only light that illuminated the tree house was from the back porch.

“So, how is the boyfriend thing going?”

“Dad!!! ”

“You know the look on your face always makes me laugh.”

Great, my ‘deer in the headlights’ look amused him. And there are certain things you don’t talk to your dad about. Even if I did have a boyfriend, I don’t know if I would talk to him about it. But I did trust him. He was always honest with me, but I definitely would get teased about it.

“I don’t have time for boys.”

“Okay, okay, just had to tease you a little. How was your shopping trip yesterday?”

“Fine.” It didn’t come out as lighthearted as I wanted. As I thought of the trip home I couldn’t help but start giggling.

“Now what have you girls done?”

“Dad I didn’t start it.” Now I was laughing so hard I was crying. Remembering the look on Toby’s face didn’t help. I could barely get out “Toby started it, he was told not to go there.”

“And the three of you are innocent, I doubt that.” I had that ‘who me’ look, and my dad saw right through it like always. “You girls better be nice to that boy before you permanently damage him.”

“Toby was the one who asked the wrong question. He wanted to know what we meant by ‘the girls’ at the dress shop”.

You would think, with two older sisters he would’ve already figured this out. I was laughing so hard I barely heard him. “Like I said damage,” and we were both laughing. It was nice to be able to talk to him about almost everything. I could only guess how hard it was for him to raise me all by himself.

The sound of the doorbell made me jump. “I’ll get it, its probably Anna picking me up.” Before I could open the door, the bell went off again.

I opened the door and Anna stood there with her arms across her chest. “And for your info your cell is turned off,” then she turned to my dad, “Hi Daddy-Two.”

A little surprised it reminded me that I had turned my phone off when I was talking with Toby in the tree house. I guess I forgot to turn it back on.

“Hello Anna.” Dad was smiling and shook his head.

“Hope, I tried to call to see if Toby was ready for class. I swear he is slower than most girls I know, and we get the bad rep.”

“No, I’m not.” Anna jumped and looked shocked. She was caught and she knew it.

“And I’m right behind you, smart ass.” Toby stood there, book bag in hand. Giggling, I went to get my things when my dad handed me some money.

“You’ll need to eat some time, and better feed the rest” as he tilted his head toward the door where Anna and Toby waited. It wasn’t until that moment when I realized we had been having such a good time laughing and teasing each other; we forgot to even think about making dinner.

“Thanks Dad.” As I walked out the door I turned again, “Love you,” I smiled broadly.

“Love you too,” was his quick response as always.

We piled into Anna’s car in our usual spots with Kayla riding shotgun and Toby and I in the backseat as we headed off for our night classes at the college.

I found the little community college charming. It was nestled in the hillside surrounded by trees. It reminded me of a miniature Ivy League college, with its bricks and cut stones, and little pathways twisting around the buildings. In the wintertime the trees were a convenient shelter, since it rained most of the time. I could walk from one end of the campus to the other using the trees as my umbrella. They always seemed to smell like Christmas. In the winter evenings, you could look down on the lights of the town as they gave off a light glow. The water of the river beyond would glisten with the reflection of the moonlight. You could often see one moon in the night sky and another image of it rippled on the water.

In the spring like now, the campus setting was just as beautiful. There were rhododendron and azalea blooming everywhere. Even the daffodils and tulips were poking their little heads above the ground to welcome me. As I walked across the campus, I enjoyed seeing the bright colors and the air smelled sweet and clean. It was almost a daily walk for me. I enjoyed mixing with the students at the college. I guess mainly because they didn't judge me on my age. How many 18-year-olds go to college and high school at the same time? But we had something in common. We each wanted an education, to do something better with our lives.

There didn't seem to be many people around for the evening classes so most of the common areas, which the students used, were closed. We had discovered a little courtyard in between some of the classrooms. It was covered, perfect for when it rained, and it even had a few benches and was well lit. It sat between our biology classes and the history classes. This semester Toby and Anna had biology and Kayla had history. I had history, and English lit as my last class of the evening but of course it was on the other side of the campus. The courtyard was our meeting place after our classes were over. We had it down to an art. Toby and Anna got out of class first. Kayla would sit and talk to her tutor, or some of her friends instead of leaving class right away. Since I had to walk around the back of Kayla’s classroom to get to the courtyard, I had a habit of banging on the back window as I passed by heading to our rendezvous at the courtyard. That would signal Kayla to get her bags packed, her things together and get moving as we raced to meet the others. But today they were all waiting for me, as I came around the corner.

“Sorry I’m late, got caught up in English lit. I’ve been trying to get extra work to turn my B to a solid A.” I had been pushing hard to keep my grades up. It was so important to me I found myself late for a lot of things recently. Even so I could still see that this was the best way to get where I wanted to be in life.

Kayla’s crooked little smile told me she wasn’t worried. “That’s ok, I don’t mind the extra tutor time.”

“What tutor?” Toby asked.

Kayla was giving him that look again, the one that said he should know better, when she answered. “Mr. Starr, and he is some nice eye candy.” That was Kayla’s way of saying he is very good looking. “He’s one of the under grads that do tutoring on the side. I see him twice a week if you must know.”

I had only seen him from a distance. He was taller than my dad, maybe six-three with dark brown wavy hair to his shoulders and he had a lean build with broad shoulders. He looked too young to be a professor, but he dressed like one, dark slacks and button down shirts. Something my dad would wear to work.

Kayla turned to Anna and I. “He’s helping me in history, Professor Noland asked him. And I need the help.”

Toby quietly asked, “With history, or guys?”

“Toby,” Kayla and I yelled in unison.

“Both.” I couldn’t believe Anna said what we were all thinking.

I felt like I had to say something to head this off. “I’m hungry anyone want to get some thing to eat?” In a very sheepish voice, “I’ll pay.”

“Sure thing I’m starving too,” Toby blurted out.

I couldn’t help but think why are guys always hungry? I swear Toby could eat 24/7.

As we piled into the ‘Boat’, I thought about the money Dad had given me and started to panic. “Where’s my wallet, I can’t find it?” Ten minutes later and a clean car we found it under the front seat. Now finally we could get something to eat. Fast food was calling our names and after a quick stop we were all set. We shoved the food in our faces as we drove home. Anna and Kayla had the stereo on singing to some country song. Toby and I sitting in back were listening to some of the new music I had just downloaded on my I-pod. I had one ear bud and Toby had the other. We were poking and making funny faces at each other. Toby and I could always make fun of each other and it never bothered us. That`s what best friends were for.

Then time stood still. The moment felt like forever, without end. I was watching Toby’s face as the laughter had turned to shock then horror. Then I heard a scream, “Anna!”. I was still watching Toby’s face. My eyes couldn’t look away from him. Then he screamed, “No!!!” I never heard his voice so angry and frightened in my life. I didn’t want to, but I looked away from his eyes and out the windshield. It was coming straight at us.

A logging truck was coming at us. I didn’t see a driver, just the grill. Why wasn’t he getting back in his lane? Why couldn’t he see us? Anna hit the brakes and the car started to slide sideways. The tires were making a high pitch sound that was deafening. I closed my eyes and it felt like my heart had stopped. I didn’t have time to do anything else, not even scream. Then I flew into the back of Anna’s seat. I could hear the screaming of metal being ripped apart. There was the sound of glass exploding. I knew it was only seconds, but it felt like a lifetime. I was halfway on the floorboard and the seatbelt made me feel like I was being cut in two. Something was pushing me down. Someone was laying on me. It was Toby. I could hear his soft moans. It was hard to breath, I felt as if I was being crushed. And I couldn’t see, there was something wet in my eyes. Not tears but blood, it was warm and sticky, running down my face. “Toby,” it was all I had in me, just a whisper. “Toby,” the pain in my head was unbearable. Everything felt as if it were spinning. My mind was blurry, out of focus, foggy. Where was I, how, who, I didn’t know if I remembered my name. Everything was slipping away. I must be dying.

“Hope. Hope you’re going to be alright.” A voice… no music… it seemed like both. One deep perfect note like a bow was being pulled across the strings of a cello. It was haunting and beautiful at the same time. It gave me a strange sensation, one I had never felt before.

“Hope, you’re going to be alright, but I need you need to keep fighting.” Fighting? I didn’t understand, what was I fighting? My mind couldn’t focus and the fog was turning into night, getting darker.

Then, blue, the darkness was turning blue. I thought I could see the most beautiful big ice blue eyes staring at me. They were filling me with love.

“You need to keep fighting Hope.”

I felt two hands encase mine. Someone was holding my hand, giving me strength, but who? I began to shiver, but I didn’t feel chilled. I just felt pain, unbearable pain. Then someone was wrapping me in a blanket. Holding me close to them.

“Hope, please hear me, believe me.”

I forced my eyes open with everything I had left in me. Then, I was looking into that dreamy set of big beautiful ice blue eyes, surrounded with dark lashes. Someone was holding me in their arms and holding my hand. I could see, I could see my hand. But I wasn’t wrapped in a blanket. It was a white glow, a white light, in the shape of wings? Wings that gave comfort, made me feel protected. I was wrapped in wings! I must be dead.

“Hope, you’re going to be alright,” the white glow, the white light, in the shape of wings, kept saying. And my mind was getting foggy again. My thoughts, my memories were slipping away, I was slipping away piece by piece.

“Hope, you’re going to be okay.” Someone squeezed my hand gently.

“Hope, please open your eyes for me”. It wasn’t the music talking to me. Where was the beautiful music?

“Hope, I love you.” I knew that voice.

“Daddy,” I sounded so small.

“Thank God you’re alright, Hope, I thought I’d lost you.”

“Daddy, where am I?”

“Just rest.”

As I closed my eyes, he rested his head on my hand. The hand he was holding and there were tears falling on it. My dad was crying.