Читать книгу Daniels Song - Katherine Dobney - Страница 9

It was a quiet ride back to Hope’s house. As we got into the car, I turned the radio down low, waiting for Hope to ask me more questions but she just smiled at me closing her eyes. I drove out of the parking lot and down the twisting streets, waiting to hear the sound of her voice. When I didn’t, I turned to ask how she was feeling only to find Hope had fallen asleep. She looked so peaceful, just the soft sound of her breathing setting its own beat with the music.

“Hope, it’s time to wake up, you’re home.” I gently touched her hand, as she opened her eyes slowly and gave me a strange look. I got out of the car but her eyes never left me as I walked around to open her door. I offered her my hand, not sure how steady she was, and walked her to the front door.

“Will I really see you tomorrow night?” She asked as her eyes stared into mine. What more was there to say then the truth. “Yes… good night Hope, and have sweet dreams.” I bent forward and kissed her gently on the forehead. I don’t know why I did it, but it felt like the right thing to do.

After dropping off Hope I don’t remember driving home, I was so deep in thought. Was this the way it felt when someone you protected had the possibility of a full life? To me it felt like some strange kind of high beyond the goodness I normally felt helping the children. Is this how the rest of them felt? I knew I had to talk to Willy. There was a rollercoaster of emotion in me, which I didn’t understand. This was all so new to me. I felt a sudden wave of relief when I saw the house lights were on. I needed to speak to Willy, the thought making me chuckle to myself. Hell I would even talk to his hand, as he often said, if it would help me understand these feelings.

As I opened the front door there stood Willy. Waiting for me, knowing that I needed him, he always knew. Willy was wearing a red smoking jacket (Willy doesn’t smoke) and plaid pajama bottoms. His hair was tousled, I always wondered if it was natural or if he worked at making it look like that. Right now I didn’t care, I was just relieved to see him. Willy knew that I needed his council and his wisdom.

“Where would you like to talk?” His voice was calm. Willy always had a power to help me control my racing thoughts.

“Do you mind, my room?” As I walked to my room I could sense Willy following me. After stepping inside, I walked to the big glass double doors, which lead to the deck beyond, opening them as far as they would go. I needed some fresh air. I also needed to see the stars, noticing more now than I had in a long time. I collapsed onto the small settee near the patio doors where Willy joined me. I leaned my head back staring at the stars, hoping for strength.

“Willy, something strange happened to me today. For the first time, I don’t know what to do. I feel unsure of my duties.” I took a deep breath, willing myself to say the next words. “She knows what I am.”

“What, that you’re an angel. There are no rules that say they aren’t to know we exist. We’ve shown ourselves from the beginning of time and we will until the end of time. You’ve done this before. She will be your charge until…”

“Until, what do you mean, my charge… and where was her guardian? There wasn’t one at the accident. I haven’t … felt the presence of one near her. Willy what is going on?” I took a deep breath, pulling the calmness through me. Something was wrong. Hope, like all others, should have at least one guardian and I knew I didn’t rate that distinction.

“Daniel, she’s in your care. I will make sure that you will be given power to be… aware of her. Should she be in danger, you will know.”

What is it about this girl, Willy had not laughed or made a single joke? What was Willy so worried about? Then it came to me, the question I had not asked. “Willy, who… placed her in my care?”

Willy looked straight into my eyes. He was looking for something.

“Gabriella.” His voice soaked in concern. “Daniel, she is one of Gabriella’s children.”

“They’re all Gabriella’s children, what makes her different? And why didn’t Gabriella... give her guardians? Someone with the power to protect her, and not a bottom of the list angel.” I had nothing I could use to protect her with. I help the dying find peace, help free souls. I didn’t protect the living, not any more. I lost that privilege, a very long time ago.

“What do you want me to do?” I said in defeat.

“Tell her who you are, answer her questions. Help her, teach her, and be her guide. Daniel… Learn… from her. There is much she can teach you. Remember she is one of Gabriella’s children. I have faith in you.” With that Willy got up and walked out the door. I sat there, watching the stars, wondering what to do. Heaven only knew, and it seemed so did Willy. Willy… it wasn’t Willy who had talked to me, it was William. With a voice as old as time itself, and the wisdom of the ancient ones.

I was so exhausted; I couldn’t even remember a time when I had felt so drained. My mind was on overload. What was I going to do about tomorrow? I needed some sort of plan, but I was too tired to think. I looked at my bed, knowing I needed to get some sleep first but I didn’t have the energy to move. I just turned to the stars, waiting for them to answer me in some way. My decision was made. I closed my eyes and fell asleep on the small settee, under the stars, my stars, my heaven.

I could hear the pounding in my head, and I was running. I couldn’t remember if I was running toward someone or away from something. As I opened my eyes the realization came to me. Someone was knocking on the door. It was Rachael’s voice coming through the door. “Daniel, are you all right?”

“Yes, come in.” I sat up, stiff and sore from sleeping on the settee. Rachael gave me a puzzled look as she glanced around the room.

“You slept there?” As she looked from my bed, which hadn’t been slept in, to the settee.

“Yes… I was too tired, and I think better when I’m watching the stars.”

Rachael walked over to the settee where I had slept. Sitting beside me, she took my hand in hers. Her hands were so small. As she looked into my eyes, I wondered what she saw and I wondered how someone so small, held so much power.

“Daniel… Willy told me what happened last night. If I can help you in any way, please, ask.”

I looked into Rachael’s sparkling periwinkle eyes noting how they shined. They had the colors of the universe in them.

“I don’t know what to do Rachael. I prayed that Father would give me an answer, but I didn’t get one. Sometimes, I wonder if he even hears me. Have I displeased him so much!

Rachael had pulled me to her in a tight hug. “Daniel… He loves you… never doubt that. You are his hope.” I still didn’t understand. Suddenly there was a smile on Rachael’s face, like a child on Christmas morning. “Don’t you have a date with some stars?”

“I have time,” smiling back at her.

“Daniel, its six P.M., you’ve slept most of the day.”

Six, I was supposed to pick Hope up at eight. Seeing my distress, Rachael got up and left the room. Not before telling me that everything will be fine. Two hours to shower and get ready. Good, there wouldn’t be enough time to think. Maybe that was my answer.

Two hours later, I was presentable and knocking on Hope’s door. The door opened and all I saw were a pair of green eyes, emerald green, observing me.

“You came… you really came?” Hope seemed surprised to see me, as if I might have disappeared in the night.

“I told you that I would take you to see the stars. Do you still want to see them?” I was one of the stars in her nightmares. Maybe she didn’t want to be near me though the smile on her face told me otherwise. “Are you ready to go?”

“Dad, Daniel’s here,” she yelled through the open door. “Why are we leaving so early, its not dark yet?” I could hear the footsteps of Hope’s father, Robert, as he came to the door.

“We need to be at a place called the cove, before high tide. Otherwise we’ll have to hike in and its tricky hiking the bluffs in the dark.”

“Daniel, I don’t mean to be rude, but where is the cove and how are you getting there?” Hope’s father wanted to know where Hope would be and with whom. I had seen so many fathers who didn’t care. I had to respect him for that, for caring so much for her.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Hope’s face, staring down the sidewalk, just now noticing my car was missing. I nodded toward the driveway.

“My motorcycle, its easier to drive down the beach and park it in the cove before the tide comes in. The cove is at the end of the beach at the rocky bluffs.”

“What time do you plan to bring Hope home? I don’t want her out all night.” Every young lady should have a father like Robert. He was noble and I liked that.

“It would be about two. We’ll need to wait till the tide is ebbing. I didn’t check on how high the tides would be tonight. We’ll leave as soon as the cove is clear to get around, sir. My word.” Looking down at Hope, “You ready?”

As we walked to the bike, Robert asked. “Is that a Norton? I haven’t seen one of those in a long time. How in the world did you find it or did you restore it? Must have taken you years, the parts look in mint condition, are they original?” I didn’t say a word. He didn’t know the truth about my bike, how could he? Actually with a little care and attention it looks the same as the day I bought it, New. I just answered back politely, “It’s one I’ve had for a while.”

I gave Hope one of the helmets from the back of the bike. She put it on her head fumbling with the strap. I had to laugh, “Here let me help.” I hooked the strap under her chin making sure it was snug. Then I knocked on the top of the helmet. “You okay in there?” She just rolled her eyes at me. Being around Hope like this felt… easy and natural.

I got on the Norton and with only two kicks brought it to life. Then I motioned for Hope to get on. As she sat behind me, I took her hands wrapping them around my waist and told her to “Hang on”. It was easy to ride with Hope on the back of my bike. She naturally leaned with me as we took the curves. She seemed to enjoy the feel of the fresh air on her face; the salty smell of the seawater, even the cry of the gulls as much as I did. I loved the ride to the cove but most of all it was the feeling of Hope’s arms around my waist, holding me tight, and the feel of her head between my shoulder blades. Hope was bringing out all kinds of feelings in me. Some I had never known. They overjoyed me and terrified me at the same time.

When we arrived the wind in the cove was calm. The bluffs seemed to whirl it around like a soft breath. I parked the bike near the rocks of the bluff well away from the water’s edge. Then I unpacked the saddlebags, removing my quilt, an old blanket, and my charts laying them on the sand near the bluffs rocky foot. I sat down on the old blanket, leaned my back against a rock and watched Hope.

Her socks and shoes were on dry sand up the beach. She was barefoot with her pant legs rolled-up and was standing in the gentle ripples as the sea met the shore. She began running up and down the waters edge, laughing every time the small waves washed over her feet. Hope was having so much fun laughing I had to laugh too. Hope gave me a strange little smile. I couldn’t tell if it was one of a memory, or a personal little joke. She quickly started running up the beach, grabbing her socks and shoes on the way. As she stopped in front of me she didn’t say a word, just smiled.

“Aren’t your feet cold?” I knew the water may be tolerable in August but it was especially cold this time of the year, early summer.

“Yes, but worth it.” A little giggle escaped her lips, “I’ve missed the sand people.”

“Sand people?”

“You’ll just think I’m… nuts.” Her smile softened as her eyes starred into mine, as if she saw something no one else could see.

“The sand people, something my dad taught me when I was little. They are hiding all through the beach and they need the water. It gives them love, and they need that love to be truly happy. They love the water with all of their being. When you walk on the dry sand it squeaks, that’s because they’re crying. They miss the water so much. When the water is near they chase after it. That’s why the sand is always moving in the waves. When you stand at the waters edge, you can feel them running after her, Mother Earth, working to get out from under you. And I just love the way they tickle my feet.”

I didn’t know what to say about her story. I was amazed and drawn to her innocent view on a wondrous world.

“Here,” I held out my quilt to her. Hope took it and wrapped it around herself as she sat between my knees and leaned her back against my chest. As she lay against me, it made me wonder what she was thinking… and what was I feeling?

“O.K. I told you a story, now can you tell me one?” her voice, a whisper, softly pleading.

There it was, Willy’s voice in my head. “Tell her who you are, answer her questions. Help her, teach her, and be her guide. Daniel… Learn… from her. There is much she can teach you. Remember she is one of Gabriella’s children. I have faith in you.” I wish I had faith in myself.

Hope broke through my thoughts. “You said, you were an angel… what kind? I don’t think I have ever met an angel before. Why are you in my dreams?” Hope’s voice was still, just a soft whisper, questioning. Yes, I owed her the truth. I was part of her nightmares. Willy was right. I should know by now, Willy was always right. He was one of the blessed ones.

Hope took a deep breath, impatient, or just waiting. I was just glad she had her back against my chest, watching the sunset. I was relieved that we weren’t facing each other. I wouldn’t be able to handle the disappointment in her eyes when she finally knew the truth about me.

“My name is Daniel, my creator, or Father, as we call him, gave it to me long ago. When I came to live on earth, I choose the name Starr. It was the emblem on my breastplate that I once wore. I wear the same on a pendant, the one you saw around my neck. It’s called the Genesis star. It has no beginning, nor end. The six points represent the domain I was to protect: North, South, East, West, the heavens above, and the earth below. The sword was the power used to protect the weak from evil. I was one of Michael’s first lieutenants. Together with others like me, we were called the Powers, heavens army.”

Hope’s voice was soft asking, “Why are you here and how long have you been here?” It was only a simple question for her. It filled me with sorrow and remorse for what I had done. I couldn’t see how I could protect her and watch over her. I was sure Hope would be appalled at what I had done even if it was so long ago. But I had to keep going, telling her the truth, always the truth.

The sunset had quickly given way to darkness in our isolated spot on the beach. The stars were already sparkling as if they were jewels floating in the sky above. Perhaps they weren’t all stars, but angels who knew my disgrace. I closed my eyes in shame as I continued.

“Hope, I don’t know how to explain this to you. I just pray you can understand. My duty was to protect the children of Adam. I had fought many battles against the evils, which threatened heaven and earth. An archangel, named Michael, was our commander and I always stood by his side.”

“I spent two and a half millennia watching over the children of Adam. Watching them destroy the gifts that were given to them. I watched as they destroyed each other in someone else's name. I watched as men seized lands, they did not need or use. They only wanted more power. Lifetime after lifetime I watched, until I could watch no more. I began to feel like men were parasites upon the earth destroying its beauty and forsaking its wonders.”

“Until one day! A day I will always… regret. We were just so filled with anger. Myself and two other lieutenants with our legions decided the only way to protect the earth and Father’s wonders were to rid it of mankind. But we would not be fighting with… our commander, Michael.”

I felt Hope shiver against me. Was she cold, or just frightened? “Are you alright?”

“Just a little chilly.” She tucked her feet a little farther under the quilt. I pulled her closer to me wrapping my arms around her, hoping it would warm her. Hope always seemed to warm me, with her presence. I’d say she warmed my soul, if I had one. Then I started again.

“Of all the wondrous things Father had created, both in heaven and on earth, He treasured and loved the children of Adam above all. You were the jewels in his crown. In that last battle we didn’t fight to protect, but to destroy… to destroy the children of Adam.”

I felt Hope shiver in my arms, she understood. Was this the lesson that I would learn from her?

“I didn’t understand what He saw in mankind. All I could see was the hate, greed, and the senseless violence men did to each other, and I was angry. I was an angel, one of the Powers. I was the one who fought for heaven… and you… were His beloved?”

“We gathered our legions and headed towards earth. Our commander Michael met us. He had the rest of the legions with him, the Warriors of Heaven. We stood face to face in our battle gear with our Angel Blades of fire. The battle itself sounded of thunder. The sparks filled the universe, one angels blade against another. It was hard to keep my balance with the wind from so many wings. I saw the deaths of many of the angels in my legions. So many of my brothers and sisters died that day. I wonder if you can still hear their cries in heaven? Even after all this time. I know that I can still hear them. So many angels were lost that day. It was a massacre! And I… I was a part of it. The Archangel Michael advanced on me. Raising his sword, a sword of flames, blue flames. I could feel the heat burning me. The power it held was unimaginable. He was ready to strike me down. I just watched Michael; I didn’t raise my sword in defense. I would not fight Michael! I would rather cease to exist, to become nothing.”

“Michael watched me in astonishment, as I laid my sword at his feet. I don’t know what happened to the rest of what was left… of my legions. Myself, and one other lieutenant, Alexander, were put before the High Choir. It’s like a court, or counsel where you are judged.”

“Alexander?” Hope replied. “The same Alexander at the college? He called you brother… Is he your brother, an angel too?”

“Once…. But not now, there is only evil now.” Now all Alexander did was leave me with a disgusting taste that still lingered. Alexander fouled whatever he touched even my senses as I recall our last encounter. What did he want?

“What happened?” Hope whispered with a voice filled with sorrow.

“Michael stood beside me, as the Choir discussed my punishment. Before my sentence was passed down, Michael stopped them and asked me why I had laid down my sword. I told him, ‘what was the use in fighting’. Given enough time, I was sure the children of Adam would destroy themselves! Then my transgressions were read and my punishment delivered.”

I could hear Hope’s quick intake of breath. “Daniel… what did they do?” The truth, always the truth, I told myself.

“I was stripped of my titles. I was no longer one of the Powers. On that day I felt that I had lost everything. I was given this body, more human than divine. Michael sent me into the world of those I had wanted to destroy. I was charged with the task of giving assistance to the children who were dying without hope and alone, to help guide their souls.” I opened my eyes and saw the stars above me, heaven. “Until atonement.”

Hope’s breathing was soft and her head was still resting on my chest. She gave another little shiver and I still wondered if she was cold. I kept watching the small waves, as they built, fell and then retreated back to the sea. I knew we had about thirty minutes until we would be able to leave the cove. I brought forth my wings and wrapped them around me, around Hope, as I had once before.

I thought Hope had fallen asleep until I felt her fingers moving along the feathers of one of my wings. The feeling was almost indescribable. There were no words just strange sensations. It was as if a mild electric current was going through me. It was pleasure and torture at the same time. I tried as hard as I could not to move, trying to understand the sensation. When I could no longer endure it I shivered and started to snicker. The vision of Hope running in the small waves, laughing, filled my head. She laughed because the sand people tickled her feet. That was this feeling. It tickled! My wings trembled as Hope ran her fingers through my feathers; but now I knew what the feelings were.

Hope stopped moving and with a soft voice, “Sorry.”

“Sorry, for what?”

“You were shaking. I didn’t want to hurt your wings.”

“Hope, it doesn’t hurt,” as I chuckled, “it tickles.”

“They’re different than what I thought, soft and sheer, like gossamer. There are even light shades of color, like oil on water. And they smell like… air after a light rain. The glow reminds me of when I was younger, out on a friend’s boat. I would jump up and down to see the luminescence of the water glow with each bounce.” I had to smile at the way Hope saw the world around her. It was so simple and so beautiful. “When they glow they’re warmer!”

Hope ran her fingers around each feather, tugging lightly, trying to find one that had fallen out. I knew what was coming, so when Hope tugged on the next. “Owe!” She jumped and I tried not to laugh.

“Sorry…I didn’t mean to hurt you!” Hope tilted her face toward mine looking a little shocked. “I just wanted one.” Now she looked guilty. I reached over grabbing one about eight inches long and pulled. I was trying to understand her expression as I handed the feather to her. This was so new to me.

“Didn’t that hurt?”

“No. We lose them all the time.”

As Hope glanced at the feather her expression turned sad. She gazed into my eyes. “What happened to it? It was so beautiful. Where did the glow and all the colors go? Now it looks like a real feather. Not an angel’s.”

“It is a real feather, a feather from an angel. My wings look like this because of divine spirit. That power is lost when the feather is removed. If it didn’t, the world would be full of glowing multi-colored feathers, gold in Michael’s case!” I smiled at that vision. I didn’t even want to try to explain Willy yet.

“Can you fly?”

“What?” It was so straightforward that it caught me off guard.

“Can you fly? I’ve seen pictures of angels flying. Is that how you got to me.”

“I’m not a bird! We don’t fly in the way you think, it’s much like…” I tried to think of an example. “Teleporting. I can shimmer into tiny fragments of light then reappear, shimmering again. I know where I need to be and I’m there. I was told where you were and to deliver a message. That it wasn’t your time and to keep fighting.”

“So why the wings?” Hope looked down with that funny little smile of hers at my wings that were wrapped protectively around her. My wings.

“They are for balance, I can hover, almost float. But it’s hard to fight with a sword and keep your balance at the same time. When angels hover our wings move somewhat like a birds. But we don’t fly with them, like I said balance.”

Looking between the waves and the bluff, I noticed that there was enough space to get out without getting us, or the bike wet. “It’s late, I need to get you home. I told your father you would be home as soon as the tide was ebbing.” I retracted my wings, helped Hope up so I could stand. As I folded the blankets and put them in the saddlebags, Hope brushed the sand off of her. I handed Hope the helmet while I started the bike. This time she had no problem with the strap. She laughed as she climbed on the back. We took off on the wet smooth sand. Hope was getting braver. Every time I slowed the bike down she would hold on tighter with only one hand while patting my back with the other. I was glad she couldn’t hear me chuckle. I knew what she was searching for! She was trying to find my wings.

Finally Hope knocked her knuckles on my helmet as she asked, “Where are your wings?” I ignored her but kept smiling the rest of the ride home.

When we finally arrived at Hope’s house, I walked her to the door but she turned around suddenly before she went inside. “Can we go stargazing again tomorrow night?” She asked.

“As long as your father says yes and you’ll have to learn the names of at least a few stars.” I told her sweet dreams and kissed her forehead before turning and walking to my bike. When I turned again to look toward the house, the door was closed. Hope was home and safely inside.

There was a plate of cookies on the kitchen counter. Rachael must have spent the evening cooking. Pulling up a stool I grabbed a handful. Monster cookies were my favorite. They had everything in them. With all kinds of chocolates and nuts, they were pretty hard to resist.

Suddenly there was a glass of milk in front of me, and Willy smiling ear to ear. It was a little creepy. “Did you enjoy your evening?”

“Thanks, I needed something to wash the cookies down with.” I knew that wasn’t the answer he wanted. I sat there like any other night. I guess the pressure was getting to him because suddenly Willy threw his hands in the air.

“I can’t get any respect around here.”

“Willy, that line has already been used.” Willy loved to use lines from some obscure show or music. “The evening went fine.” I knew Willy would want a report.

“I told Hope everything, well almost everything. I told her as much as I could in one night. We might be going out tomorrow, if her father agrees. I’ll tell her more then. I thought it might be easier to just answer her questions. You know… the things I wouldn’t even think of telling her. She asks for such odd small details, why my wings glowed for heavens sake. I did get around to telling her why I was sent here and what I did in heaven.” I put down the cookie losing my appetite.

“Willy, how do I do this? I feel disgrace and liberation in the same moment. I told her of my transgressions, the hatred I had of her kind. Yet she stayed with me and listened. Willy… why my story… why Hope, and what does this have to do with Gabriella. You know I don’t have the power to protect Hope.”

I looked at Willy pleading for an answer. “I wish…”

But before I could say more, Willy interrupted me with his favorite quote: “If wishes were horses”

“Willy, I don't understand, how do I find the answers?”

“There are things beyond the bounds of your knowledge. Things that were set in motion long ago. Hope and her father are just some of the keys. All I can tell you is… learn from her and protect her. She will show you the way.” Willy eyed the cookie on my plate asking, “You going to eat that?”

“No.” Willy took the cookie and marched away. All I could think of was he better eat it before Rachael finds crumbs in their bed.

I didn’t sleep very well. It was as if my mind was racing with thoughts, and visions, but none of it was familiar to me. As if I had a thousand questions, and no answers for them. It wasn’t until the early morning that I finally fell asleep.

Again I awoke to someone knocking on the door. “Daniel, are you alright?” It was Rachael again.

“Yes, come in.” I sat up in bed with my head between my hands, hoping the pounding would stop.

“You don’t look well.”

“Thanks.”

“I mean it Daniel, what’s wrong?”

“My head won’t stop pounding and the light’s a little bright. What time is it?”

“It’s after three.” She put her hand against my forehead. “Your warm, like you’re running a fever.”

“I can’t run a fever… angel, remember?”

Then her mind seemed to register something. I could hear her mentally call out to Willy. A second later, there he stood looking at Rachael and myself. I knew that expression. Willy knew something. What was it? He looked as if he was wondering just how much he should actually say.

“Yes, you’re running a fever. Your body is trying to adjust. I don’t think it will last much longer than a week or so.”

“Adjust! Willy what’s wrong with me?” Was this the moment? I knew one day it would come. The day I would cease to exist? Now would my debt be paid in full?

“Daniel, you’ll be alright. I told you, you’d be given a power to know if Hope was in danger. That you would be able to feel her fear.”

“William, then why is he sick!” Rachael only called him William when she was upset or worried.

Willy’s voice was tranquil and calm, just what I needed right now. He looked at Rachael then me. “Daniel… has been in human form longer than any one of us that I know of. Unlike the way we move between divine spirit in heaven and our life here with mankind, Daniel has been limited to this earth. Though none of us age or have ailments Daniel is… different than us. He’ll need time to adjust to the new power. It will need to bond with his spirit.” Just then we all jumped as the quiet, hushed surrounding of my room was broken by my annoying ring tone. My cell phone was ringing and vibrating off the night table.

“You should probably answer that. It’s Hope.” Willy said as he and Rachael walked out the door, closing it gently behind them. Picking up my phone, sure enough, it was Hope.

“Good afternoon, Hope.”

“How did you… never mind, angel thing right?”

I had to laugh sometimes she was so innocent. “No, caller I.D.” Then I could hear her laugh in the background. The extra sensitive hearing was an angel thing, but I didn’t tell her that.

“Dad said I could go stargazing tonight. If you still want to.”

“Hope, that would be perfect. Same time and place and I’ll show you the Genesis star.”

Again, I found myself leaning against a rock with my wings wrapped around Hope, protecting her. I pointed toward a cluster of stars.

“See that bright one?” as I pointed toward the north. “It’s called Polaris, the north star.”

“The Little Dipper, Dad taught me that one. I got lost once and Dad said I would always know which way was north if I found that star. So I would always be able find my way home.”

Find my way home, I never thought of it that way. I longed for home. Sometimes I questioned my memories. I knew that some of the beauty of heaven was slipping away from me.

“It’s more than that to me. The Little Dipper, as you call it. To the powers it’s called the Genesis Star, the beginning. A reminder of what we were created for.” What I once was long ago, I thought to myself.

“I don’t see a star, just a dipper.” Hope was tilting her head back and forth. I guess she was trying to see my star. Suddenly a wave of intense emotion surged through my body and the fever was starting to return. This time it was just a slight warm feeling. I pulled my necklace over my head, holding it out in front of me. I positioned it to the stars.

“The top of the sword is the North star. The next one on the handle is the hilt of the sword. The next star down from there is Heaven star. Then there’s the center star followed by the South star and the corner star is the Earth star.”

“What about the last one. What do you call it?”

“That star is the tip of the swords blade, its called… Justice.” Now, I questioned the justice I gave to the end of my sword. I knew right from wrong. It was as clear as black and white, or was it?

“What does it mean, your star?” Hope’s voice was just a whisper again. She probably felt my body tense up, not understanding why.

“It’s a symbol, a reminder. The four points on the side of the star represent North, South, East, and West. The top star points toward the heavens. The bottom star points toward earth. It’s one piece folded over then under. It has no beginning and no end. It’s to remind us why we were created, to protect all, in all directions, the heavens above and the earth below. The sword was Father’s gift, the power to do so.”

“Any other stars up there that have any meaning to you like your Genesis star?” Hope had her finger pointing upward.

“No Hope, only that one.”

“There's so many out there, they're all beautiful.” In a whispered voice, that sounded so sad. “Daniel how long… have you been here on earth. Living like the rest of us.”

“I have seen too many wars. I have seen places in this world built, and rebuilt, many times.”

“So you're not going to tell me how old you are?”

I was trying to think of a way to tell Hope that I've walked on this earth almost two thousand years. The truth, always the truth, would she understand? “Hope, I've been here for almost two thousand of your years.”

In her small voice, “Daniel… how long has it been, since you’ve been home?”

“I haven't seen heaven since I've been here. Sometimes it feels that I have spent more time walking this earth than I have in heaven.” I had no way to explain how it felt, how much I missed home. All I had was this hollow ache, a yearning to see my home. Heaven.

“Daniel look! A falling star, make a wish.”

“Hope, why don't you make a wish for both of us?”

“Daniel, why do I see you as an angel.”

“I don't know. I asked Willy. He knows the answer but he's not telling me. Actually, I’m sure that if I asked him once more, he would just tell me to talk to the hand again.”

“Talk to the hand, what does that mean?”

“Long story, I’ll explain it to you later.” All of a sudden, I felt off balance, out of sorts as if I wasn't in tune with the world around me. Then Hope gave out a little sigh and shivered.

“Hope, are you okay, are you feeling right?”

“I'm fine. I haven't been sleeping very well, just a little bit more confused than normal.”

Then it occurred to me, the restless night, the emotions I couldn't understand. It was the power Willy said I would be given, the power to understand Hope. But I thought I would feel when she was in danger, not all these other emotions. Willy also said I would learn from her. One thing I would have to learn quickly would be the difference between Hope’s emotions and her fear!

Tonight, I’ll have an interesting talk with Willy. I will have to find a way to control the emotional part of this power if I am going to protect Hope.

“Daniel, why did your “Father” take the people I loved away from me? Why did he leave me like this, for what reason? I don’t understand. I’m just so tired of being me! And don’t you dare tell me that when one door closes, another one will open!”

I didn’t know what to say to her at that moment. Hope was crying so hard she could hardly breath. Her body was trembling violently so I held her as tightly as I could. Wrapping her in my wings I softly whispered in the ear.

“Hope, I wish I could turn back the hands of time for you but I can’t.” Her crying eased into soft sobs, holding onto my arms with more strength than I thought she had, afraid to let go as if I might vanish.

“Daniel, can I stay tucked in your wings until I turn into a butterfly?”

With a little chuckle, “Why would you want to do that?”

“I feel like a caterpillar, just inching along through life. I want to stay here until I become a beautiful butterfly. I want to feel whole, to be new again, maybe then I could find myself.”

“Hope… I don't think it works that way.”

“I just want to stop feeling confused. I want to find the puzzle pieces of my life.” I prayed for her, it was a soft hum. I just held Hope in my arms. She was quiet for a long time. The only sounds were the waves gently breaking, and my prayer.

“Daniel, what are you singing? It’s beautiful. Did you know your voice always makes me feel peaceful and calm.”

“It's not a song, it's a prayer. We send prayers to heaven as songs. Music, from the beginning of time.”

“What kind of prayers?” She sounded so guilty.

“A prayer, hoping you’ll find peace and contentment.” I watched as Hope’s smile turned into a pout.

“Or turn into a butterfly?” Her words were soft and delicate.

“I think you might get the peace and contentment before you’ll become a butterfly.”

“Can I have wings too?” Her voice pleaded.

“I don't think that will happen.”

“One can always wish.” her voice barely audible.