Читать книгу The Forever Husband - Kathryn Alexander - Страница 10

“C’mon, Carrie Elizabeth. We’re gonna be late,” Hope said, grabbing the car keys early the next morning. She had returned to the house to pick Beth up for school. “Let’s go.”

“If you’re in a hurry to leave, I can take her to school,” Eric offered as he entered the kitchen. Streams of sunshine through the window lit up the room. “I have a few extra minutes this morning.”

“You’re sure?” she asked hesitantly. Having Eric walk through a doorway at any moment was something she had to get used to. And, could, too easily.

“I’m sure,” he answered, reaching for Beth as she ran into the room directly toward her father. “‘Mornin’, babe.”

“Dad! You really are still here!”

“That, I am.” Eric hugged her small frame to him, then released her. “Your grandparents must be sleeping late. C’mon, let’s eat a quick breakfast so you can make it to school on time.”

He glanced up at Hope, surprised to see her still standing there in the doorway, watching them. “If you see Cassie before I do this afternoon, tell her I’ll be there later today,” he said, looking into her fathomless blue eyes a moment longer than he should have.

“Give me a kiss, honey. I’ll see you at school later.” She kissed her daughter, then glanced at Eric again. “Thank you. I need to get there early to look over the lesson plans,” she said before leaving through the back door.

Eric’s presence, his helpfulness and kindness, could be difficult to accept, she knew, but it could also be the Lord’s way of showing them His will for their lives…something Hope hadn’t felt very certain of lately. For years she’d believed that she was following the right course, living in the center of God’s will, and that the love He’d blessed Eric and her with would go on forever. She’d given her heart to the Lord at the conclusion of a Sunday School class one day when she was only six years old. The teacher had asked if anyone wanted to pray for salvation, and Hope had raised her hand. So her heart had belonged to God even before it belonged to Eric Granston.

She climbed into her van and started toward Beechmore Elementary, still lost in thought. Eric was now with her again, but only because he didn’t think she was capable of handling everything by herself while Ed and Grace were away. And he was probably right, she lamented. She needed his help to get Beth to school on time and to be there with her at night while Hope slept at the hospital. She stopped for a red light. Yes, he was being helpful and considerate, almost friendly. But where was the Eric she’d married and loved? He certainly wasn’t the man who was at this moment sharing breakfast with their six-year-old daughter. The Eric she used to know would have kissed her good morning, said a prayer over their breakfast and shared a cup of coffee with her.

The blaring horn of the automobile behind her returned Hope’s attention to the traffic light, which had changed to green. She continued on her way as her thoughts went in another direction. Eric wasn’t the only one who’d changed since Cassie’s accident, she realized. She’d never kept secrets from him before, not until that summer day at the pool.

Entering the familiar school parking lot, she carefully pulled into the first available space. She’d been convinced years ago that the Lord had brought Eric into her life. And He had blessed their union in many ways. Could He have done all that—given them such happiness for so many years—only to let them mess things up like this? Now that Cassie was better and life held such promise? Hope didn’t have all the answers, but somehow, some way, there had to be more in her future with Eric Granston than a divorce decree—if only they could find their way to it.

“How did you meet Mom?” Cassie asked between bites of cherry-red gelatin from her lunch tray later that day. Eric had finished up earlier than expected at a closing and had stopped in to see how his daughter was feeling.

He leaned back in his chair. Meet her? He could barely remember a time when he hadn’t known Hope Ryan Granston. “We met in kindergarten, I guess. We went through school together, graduated from high school and then college together.”

Cassie grinned from ear to ear. “So you were childhood sweethearts?”

“Yes, you could say that,” he responded quietly, reflecting on earlier days. “We were friends for a long time before it became a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship during high school. Your mother was very popular in school, you know. She was pretty and smart, and fun to be with.”

“Don’t you think she’s all those things anymore, Dad?”

“Yes, I do.” He answered her question before his mind went back, momentarily, to envision the teenager he had fallen in love with. Hope’s blond hair had been short then, in an almost boyish cut, but the style had looked good on her. She was thin and athletic, an excellent student and a sports fan.

“So, it wasn’t like they say in the movies? Love at first sight?”

Eric smiled. “You’re very nosy today,” he remarked. “But I guess with your mother and me, it was more like friendship at first sight. The love part kind of caught us by surprise.” Very much by surprise, he recalled as he thought of that long walk home from the high school one day.

It was years ago. Several inches of snow had fallen during the afternoon. After school, he and Hope had trudged through the fresh snow, both of them loaded down with books and gym bags. Eric was carrying Hope’s clarinet case. They were cutting across the field that adjoined the property owned by Hope’s parents when Eric tripped over something in his path, falling facedown in the snow. The books flew to one side and the gym bag and clarinet case to the other as he hit the ground hard. And although the fall hurt his shoulder a little bit, nothing hurt as badly as his fourteen-year-old pride.

But Hope hadn’t laughed. She certainly could have been amused by the sight of him clumsily plunging into the white depths. But she hadn’t. “Eric!” Hope had called out his name, in a typically feminine, almost maternal, manner. “Are you all right? Did you hurt yourself?” She dropped her belongings on the ground and knelt beside him as he sat up, slightly stunned by the incident.

Eric wiped snow from his face. “I’m okay—just embarrassed,” he replied, as Hope pulled off her red gloves and brushed more snow from his face with warm hands.

“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” she’d responded, pushing strands of hair away from her friend’s forehead in a tender touch. Friends. That’s all they were, wasn’t it? In that moment, it didn’t feel that way to Eric. Hope knelt only inches from him in that field, with her jeans getting wet from the snow, while she looked for a long moment into the dark eyes that viewed her with new interest. “A fall like that—” she hesitated before lowering her luminous blue gaze to look away from him “—could happen…to anyone.” She stumbled through the sentence. Then, she cautiously looked back at him to find that his eyes hadn’t strayed from her face. She smiled a little, and Eric thought for the first time how beautiful she was. Awash in unfamiliar thoughts, he slowly leaned forward, his mouth brushing hers in a soft kiss that she returned, tentatively at first, then, gradually, with a little more confidence. They finally broke apart abruptly, each of them settling back into the snow and gasping for breath—

“Dad,” Cassie interrupted the private memory, “tell me about how you fell in love.”

The straight line of Eric’s mouth showed no hint of the emotion behind his memories. “It’s difficult to tell anyone about the precise moment you know you’re in love, Cass. You’ll understand that when you’re older.” But in fact, Eric knew exactly when it had been for him: that afternoon in the snow. During that warm kiss that caused him to forget about his fall, his sore shoulder and the books lying where they had dropped. After that kiss, Eric and Hope had belonged to each other.

He cleared his throat. “Did you know your mother was the only girl on the high school golf team in those days? There wasn’t a girls’ team yet, and she played well enough that she was invited to join the boys.” He laughed quietly at the memory he always had whenever he thought about her golfing days—Hope surrounded by males.

“Weren’t you jealous?” Cassie asked as she took another bite of the meal she’d been picking at. It was as though she could read his mind. “Mom being around all those other guys?”

“You bet I was. I didn’t like it at all, and I wasn’t a good enough golfer to make the team, so she was on her own.” Just like now, he thought briefly.

“What if she gets married again someday? It won’t matter to you?”

“Married? You don’t need to worry about that happening soon,” Eric remarked, wanting to bring an end to this topic. Unless Cassie knew something he didn’t. He hadn’t been around enough lately to be aware of what was going on in Hope’s life, but his daughter was usually good at telling everything she knew about a subject without being prodded. So, he waited.

Cassie coughed several times. “Well, maybe not real soon, I guess.”

“What does that mean?” Eric asked. He reached for a nearby pitcher of water and poured some of it into the plastic cup on her lunch tray.

“Nothing. It’s just that Mr. Shelton, the principal, has been talking to her about the future, and they have eaten lunch together at school. Does that count as anything?” she asked in between sips.

It counted. But Eric wouldn’t let any emotion register there in front of his daughter. Not even surprise, and that wasn’t all he was feeling.

“Dad, you didn’t answer me.”

“Lunch in a school cafeteria with dozens of other people wouldn’t be much of a date now, would it?” Eric said.

“I guess not,” she replied.

But it was enough to bother Eric. Shelton. He didn’t recall anyone by that name at Cassie’s school, and he’d been there quite a few times. “I thought you had a female principal. Mrs. White, wasn’t it?”

“That was last year, Dad. Mrs. White had a baby, and she wanted to take some time off.”

“So Mr. Shelton replaced Mrs. White?”

“Yes, and he’s a—what’s the word? His wife died, and he’s a—”

“Widower?” Eric finished.

“Yes, that’s it. He has a son and a daughter, younger than me. Grandma says he needs a wife. I heard her and Mom talking about it.”

Eric watched Cassie push her food away, only half-eaten. “Why don’t you at least eat that applesauce, Cass. You love applesauce.”

“I used to love it. Now, it tastes gross.”

Something else he hadn’t known. Suddenly, Eric felt very alone. He wasn’t around enough to keep up with the changes that were happening with his children—or with Hope, apparently. Was she really interested in this Shelton guy who supposedly “needed” a wife? Or could it possibly be some kind of potential “arrangement”? No, she would never settle for something like that. Not Hope. Not after having known how good a real marriage could be. He glanced out the window. And theirs had been good, for a very long time.

“Dad, what’s wrong?” Cassie’s question drew his attention back to her, and he studied her pretty blue eyes so similar in color to her mother’s.

“Nothing, hon. What were we talking about earlier? Mom being on the golf team, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah,” Cassie replied. “I wonder if those boys teased her about being the only girl?”

“In the beginning they did. But then she hit a three wood two hundred yards down the fairway to help them win a championship. That brought an end to the teasing.” Eric thought of the strong-willed attitude his wife often displayed. Hope wouldn’t have stopped playing on that team even if the teasing had continued. If she wanted something, she went after it. At least, she used to. Surely, life hadn’t changed her so much that she’d consider a relationship of convenience with a widower she barely knew. Had it?

“Can’t you and Mom stop being mad at each other? I know it was all because of me that you—”

“Cassie,” Eric gently interrupted her. “You know we’ve talked about this before. And your mom has talked about it with you, too. The problems between your mother and me have nothing to do with you. And we’re not really mad at each other. Not anymore.” At least, he wasn’t. But he knew it might take a little time to learn Hope’s feelings.

“Finished with your lunch?” a nurse asked as she entered the room. “How are you doin’ today, Mr. Granston?” she added when she noticed Eric sitting in the chair beside the bed.

“Fine, Trudy. Thanks,” Eric answered while watching her take away Cassie’s plate, still half-full of her noon meal. The dinner roll and the gelatin were all that had interested her.

“Now, look here, Cassie. You’re going to have to do better eating these meals or I’ll have to come in here and feed you. You got that?” Trudy threatened with a friendly grin.

“Are you going to be here tonight?” Cassie asked. “I like it best when you’re here.”

“I’ll be here for sure, hon. I’m working a double shift today. Now, you lie down and rest for a while. I’ll be back to check your temperature.” Then she turned to Eric. “Mr. Granston, why don’t you go on down to the cafeteria? I’ll keep an eye on your daughter for you for a while.”

Eric stood up and stretched his long legs. “I could use a sandwich and a cup of coffee. Cassie, maybe you can get to sleep if I’m not in here talking to you.” He ran a hand through his dark hair before leaning down to kiss Cassie. “I’ll be back in about twenty minutes, princess.”

Then he slipped out the door, stepped into an empty elevator and pushed the button for the lobby. Happy memories of wintry days and warm kisses in the snow had momentarily taken the edge off reality. He’d lost Hope, and getting her back was going to be difficult. If not impossible.

The elevator stopped, the doors came open and Eric came face to face with the very object of his thoughts.

“Hello,” he said and stepped out.

“Hi. I didn’t realize you were coming here,” Hope replied, looking startled to see him.

“This morning’s closing finished quickly, so I stopped by,” Eric replied. “Where’s Beth?”

“She’s still at school,” Hope answered as she tucked some hair behind an ear. “I only had to teach until noon today.”

Eric nodded. Then there was awkward silence between them. Now what? Eric wondered. Lunch, he suddenly remembered. “I’m going to get some lunch. Cassie is finished eating, and she’s resting right now.”

“Oh, well, maybe I’ll wait a while before I go up.” Hope readjusted the slipping shoulder strap of her canvas tote bag before it could slide down her arm. “She won’t rest at all if I walk in right now.”

“That’s probably true,” Eric said. “I’m on my way to the cafeteria for something to eat. Want to come along?”

Hope looked at him in what she knew was probably an amusing combination of surprise and skepticism. She couldn’t quite believe he was making the offer.

“You can go on up if you’d rather. I won’t be offended,” he added, then paused.

Hope smiled. “Actually, I’d like to talk to you about something. Maybe this would be a good time.”

Oh, no, Eric thought, what did she want to discuss? Did it involve a guy named Shelton? He pointed toward the nearby cafeteria. “Let’s go,” he said, and they walked down the hallway together in an uncomfortable silence until they entered the à la carte line.

“Coffee, please,” Eric requested of the waitress behind the counter. Then he ordered the special of the day: grilled cheese with a bowl of tomato soup, and coffee. Hope asked for the same, but with decaf instead of regular coffee.

Soon they were seated at one end of a long cafeteria table, eating together for the first time in months. “I don’t know, but I’m wondering if maybe we should have ordered something else,” Hope remarked after sampling a bite of her sandwich. “Grilled cheese in a restaurant is hardly ever as good as homemade.”

Eric watched a frown crease her forehead. “You’re probably right. But it looked better than the other choices.”

“That’s true,” Hope replied with a brief smile. “Maybe we should have chosen another place to eat.” Then her smile faded. Maybe she shouldn’t have said something that hinted at more than he’d offered. She hadn’t thought how it might sound until the words were out.

“Maybe so,” Eric agreed, easing the moment of tension he’d seen on her face. “You wanted to talk to me?” he asked. His curiosity was increasing.

“Yes,” she agreed, “I do need to discuss something about Beth with you.”

“She’s not sick—”

“No, no, Eric, it’s nothing like that. I didn’t mean to scare you,” Hope responded. “It’s just that, she’s becoming something of a discipline problem at school. I’ve been with Cassie so much lately, I didn’t notice Beth’s behavior. When I picked her up at school the other day, Greg Shelton, the principal, took me aside and filled me in on some facts I wasn’t aware of.”

Eric took a sip of his coffee. “And did Greg have some ideas on how to solve the problems?” Like spend the rest of your life with him, maybe? he thought unkindly.

Hope frowned in response to his question. “Do you know him?”

“No,” Eric said with a shake of his head. “But I’ve heard about him.” And about his needs as perceived by Grandma, Eric thought. “So, what did he tell you?”

“Beth has been sent to his office twice this month.”

“For what?”

“At first, she was repeatedly talking when she wasn’t supposed to, then she was disrespectful to another child. But then it progressed quickly to intentional disobedience when she started refusing to do what her teacher told her to do. She lost her recess every day last week without telling me, and the notes her teacher has sent home to me—Beth’s destroyed them! Greg is really worried about what this is going to turn into if we don’t take some action. Soon. And so am I.”

“I’ll talk to her,” Eric assured her. “But Beth is good at hiding her feelings, so it might not be easy to get to the bottom of this matter, even though I think we both know the root of it.”

“Her sister’s illness,” Hope said. “But Beth is more like you in temperament than she’s ever been like me. I’m hoping you can help her in some way I can’t.” Hope looked down at what remained of her lunch as she gathered her thoughts. “Grace told me about her plans for the cruise when I saw her a little while ago. She said they’re leaving tonight for Florida.” She looked up. Now for the difficult part. “I appreciate your willingness to stay with us while they’re gone.”

Eric stared into the gentle blue eyes that seemed even prettier now than in the years that had passed. “You don’t mind my being there?” he asked.

“Eric, it’s not easy for me to admit this, but I really need your help,” Hope replied.

He nodded. It wasn’t the answer he’d wanted, but it was an acceptable one—a place to begin. “I’ll do what I can, Hope. You know that.”

“I know, but…I must be doing something wrong with Beth. She seems to want to be independent of me, and yet, honestly, I think she needs more of me than she gets.” Hope blinked hard, and Eric knew she was fighting back tears. “Being here for Cassie, substitute teaching and taking care of the basics at your parents’ home is about all I can deal with these days, Eric. Beth turning into a disciplinary problem wasn’t something I’d thought would ever happen, but it has. And, I feel like I’m not doing a good job as a mother.”

“You’re exactly the mother she needs, Hope,” Eric stated quietly. He knew how hard she could be on herself. “But if she needs extra attention right now, then I’ll be there for her.”

Hope wiped her mouth on her paper napkin. “Just spend time with her, maybe help with her homework like you did yesterday, watch her play ball…anything like that would mean a lot.” She studied Eric’s face without smiling, and wondered how he could have stopped loving her. After all they’d shared together? Then she realized she’d been silent too long. “I—I want to thank you.”

“You don’t need to thank me for helping out with my own children—” he began.

“No,” she interrupted. “I mean, I really want to thank you. Since our separation, you’ve not neglected the girls at all. I was afraid that—” She stopped, knowing she might be entering territory better left alone.

“You were afraid that what? I’d not want to see my kids?” Eric prodded, his instinctive defenses kicking in.

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “Maybe I thought your new life-style would occupy too much of your time to allow room for the girls. I was very wrong.”

“You were,” he stated with a hint of a smile. “And thanks. It’s generous of you to admit it.” His words were spoken gently and prompted no more than a slight smile from Hope.

“Maybe we should go up to see if Cassie’s sleeping,” she suggested.

“Okay,” Eric agreed. “I’ve had about all of this grilled cheese I can handle anyway.”

“It definitely looked better than it tasted,” Hope commented as they both carried their trays to the trash can.

A walk through the lobby and an elevator ride up to the fourth floor were all that stood between them and their daughter. Soon they were back in her room where they found Cassie sleeping soundly.

Nurse Trudy appeared at the door. “She’s doing fine today. No fever at all.”

Hope nodded. “That’s great. Thanks, Trudy.”

“No problem, Mrs. Granston. I just like to keep the parents informed how the little ones are doing. Did you enjoy your lunch?” she asked, glancing toward Eric with a questioning look.

“The coffee was much better than the food,” he responded, laughing. Then he turned to Hope. “If you need me, try calling the office.”

“I will,” replied Hope. Eric leaned down to kiss Cassie’s forehead, then left for the real estate office to finish up the day’s business. He entered the hospital parking lot and he quickly located his truck. He’d have to find a way to work this out with Hope, he thought. And he’d have to do so on his own, he knew. After all, he hadn’t allowed God into his life for a very long time.

Some days, though, the idea of having a Heavenly Father to turn to again sounded good. Very good.

“It isn’t my fault if the teacher isn’t fair to me,” Beth complained. “She just doesn’t like me.”

Eric repositioned his arm around Beth as they sat at the head of her bed, talking. Discussing the discipline issues with her was going as Eric had thought it would. Not easily. Beth snuggled up close to him, and he kissed the top of her blond curls. “Mrs. Lindstrom likes you very much, Beth, and I’ve heard you talk about what a great teacher she is.”

“But now it’s different.”

“How?” he asked.

“Just different. You know, because Cassie is sick again,” Beth replied, fidgeting with the blue-satin bow on the teddy bear that sat next to her on the bed. “Do you think I’m too old to keep Brown Bear around?” she asked as she gave the stuffed animal a fierce hug.

“No, not if you still want him, sweetheart.” Eric sat quietly, pondering what he should say next. The problem seemed to be less about what was taking place at school than what was taking place in the rest of Beth’s life. “Honey, Cassie is sick again, that’s true. But it shouldn’t change how you feel about your teacher, how your teacher feels about you…or your behavior in the classroom.”

“But it’s just that—Cassie was Mrs. Lindstrom’s favorite student ever,” Beth emphasized. “I might as well not exist.”

“But Mrs. Lindstrom has kept you after school to go for ice cream, you’ve been to her apartment to meet her husband and see their aquarium. She hasn’t spent time with all the children like that, has she?”

“I don’t know,” Beth answered. “I just know it’s ‘Cassie, this’ and ‘Cassie, that.’ ‘How is your sister feeling, Beth? Will she be coming home soon? Tell us how she’s doing today.’ Cassie, Cassie, Cassie!” She burst into tears and buried her face in her father’s side.

Eric’s arms closed around her a little more tightly. “And it makes you angry because sometimes you want it to be Beth she asks about.” He spoke softly, and she nodded her head while continuing to sob. He sighed. “Mrs. Lindstrom may really be trying to make you feel important by letting you share with the class about your sister’s hospital experiences. It doesn’t mean she loves Cassie more than she loves you, honey.”

“Oh, yes, it does!” Beth cried. “Stuff about Cassie is always more important than stuff about me. Always!”

How was he going to help her find her way through this situation? Maybe he needed a different approach. “It’s hard being the youngest kid in the family, isn’t it?” he remarked. This was something he could identify with. “I was the youngest in my family, too, only I had a sister and a brother older than me. Sometimes that wasn’t any fun at all.”

Beth’s crying began to ease a bit, and she raised her head to study her father’s face through eyes reddened from rubbing. Then the hiccups started; they quite often followed one of her crying spells. Eric smiled as he thought of Hope. Sometimes, the same thing happened with her.

“Really? You were—the—youngest?” Beth hiccuped.

Eric nodded. “Still am. Always will be,” he added. “Of course, neither one of them was seriously ill when we were growing up, so it’s not quite the same as your relationship with Cassie.”

“But, did some of the teachers like Uncle Rob or Aunt Angela better?”

“Yes,” he answered. “My brother and sister were both better students than I was. And much less of a discipline problem, too.”

“You mean, you got into more trouble?”

“Sure did. I’d hate to think how many times your grandmother was called to school over something I’d done.”

Beth laughed between hiccups. “Did she spank you?”

“Sometimes. But as I got older, the punishment changed to being grounded.”

“Like not being allowed to have a friend over to play?”

“Yes, something like that. You see, Rob and Angela were the ones the teachers always liked. By the time I came along, they’d already assumed I was going to be a problem.”

“Did that make you mad?”

Eric shrugged. “Kind of, I guess. But I got used to it over the years. Then, one day, a teacher I really liked—”

“What was her name?”

“Mrs. Flowers.” Eric could still picture that dark-haired older teacher in his mind. “I accused her of liking Rob and Angela better, and she informed me that wasn’t true at all. That she’d always liked me the best, and if I felt that she didn’t like me, that was my own fault for thinking that way. Sometimes we set ourselves up for disappointment by expecting disappointment.”

“Since you thought the teacher liked them more than she liked you, you felt real bad. Even if she didn’t really like them one bit better.”

He nodded his head and squeezed his little girl affectionately. “Exactly. You’re as special and unique as Cassie is. It’s just that, since she’s sick, she gets the most attention sometimes. Not just from Mom or me, but from teachers and neighbors and friends, too. None of that means you are loved any less than your sister.”

Beth’s young face clouded over again as more tears rose to the surface. “I love Cassie so much, Daddy, but sometimes…I just get so mad at her.”

Eric reached for a couple of tissues and tenderly wiped some trickling tears away. “Because sometimes she seems like the only important person around here?”

Beth nodded and melted into her father’s embrace as the sobbing returned. “She is, sometimes, isn’t she? Because she got hurt and sick and stuff?”

“No,” Eric said emphatically. “She’s never more important than you, hon. Never. It’s just that, sometimes she needs us more at the moment than you do. I know all of this is difficult for you to sort out because you’re so young, but your mother and I love you just as much as we love Cassie. Every bit as much. We always will.”

“Even when I get so mad at her? She can’t help that she’s sick and everybody asks about her.”

“It’s okay to feel that way sometimes. Everyone does,” he explained.

Just then, Eric heard a noise. Glancing up, he saw Hope standing in the doorway with windblown hair and her jacket still on, having just returned from the hospital. She sent Eric a slight frown and a worried look, but he shook his head. He mouthed the words “She’s okay” to relieve her concern.

“If Cassie. dies, I’ll never forgive her,” Beth blurted out between sobs, surprising both of her parents with her words. “Never!”

Eric hugged her snugly against him and rocked back and forth in a soothing motion, wanting to calm her fears. “Cassie’s nearly well, honey. She’ll be home soon, and things will be back to normal. She’s not leaving us.”

“But I want her home now. Nothing’s the same without her. There’s a place in my heart where she fits,” Beth said.

Hope’s hand flew to cover her mouth and silence the cry that threatened to slip out, and Eric’s eyes stung with hot, unshed tears. He kissed the top of Beth’s head and cleared his throat roughly before he could speak again. “Beth, sweetheart, it’ll be okay. I promise.”

Hope blinked several times, fighting the tears welling up in her own eyes. Then she entered the room. “Beth?”

The little girl raised her head to see Hope smiling at her. “Mom,” was all she said as she moved from her father’s arms into her mother’s. Their fierce, clinging hug left Eric with an odd twinge of emptiness. Beth loved him deeply—he knew that. But for the girls, at times, there was no place like the comfort of Hope’s arms. Eric understood that. Sometimes, he felt that way, too.

“You okay?” Hope asked in a whisper against Beth’s soft hair as she closed her eyes and held her daughter close to her heart.

“Yes,” Beth answered. “Daddy and I were just talking about Cassie and Mrs. Lindstrom and stuff.”

“Stuff,’ huh?” Hope teased. “Sounds important.”

“Very,” Eric commented. He stood up, suddenly feeling out of place. “But now that you’re here—”

“No, Daddy. Don’t go. Stay with us for a while,” Beth pleaded. “He doesn’t have to go, does he, Mom?”

“No, he doesn’t have to go.” She turned her gaze to Eric. “Maybe he could come downstairs with us and have some hot chocolate. Okay?” she added.

“Okay, Mom.”

Hope allowed Beth to slide out of her arms, and they started toward the stairs.

“Marshmallows?” Hope asked as she rummaged through a kitchen cabinet. “Where would Grandma keep the marshmallows?”

“Right beside the honey on the top shelf. See it, up high?” Beth was pointing to the package.

“Ah, yes, I do,” Hope responded, stretching to try to grab the cellophane bag.

Eric reached past her, easily retrieved it, then placed it on the counter in front of her.

“Thank you,” she said.

“You’re welcome,” he answered, reaching for cups in the cupboard above the sink. He glanced over at her, wondering if she would drink hot chocolate with them. She had always been the healthy eater in the family, avoiding too much of anything —including chocolate and milk. But he didn’t need to ask. Hope had guessed his question.

“Yes, I’ll have some, too,” she said with a playful smile. “I’m not the picky eater I used to be. I’ve changed some over the last year.”

“We probably both have,” Eric remarked. But he lost his train of thought while studying her delicately carved features and those pretty eyes of cornflower blue. Being around Hope, he knew, wouldn’t be easy. That’s why he’d avoided her for much too long. Because of difficult moments just like this when her mouth curved into one of those gentle smiles he remembered so well. Being near her and not touching her was quite a balancing act. He placed three mugs on the counter and moved away from her to join Beth at the table. “Did Cassie feel better tonight?” he asked to break the silence.

“Yes,” Hope responded. “She really had a lot more energy.” Hope poured milk into the cups and placed them in Grace’s microwave. “Believe it or not, she asked if she could stay alone tonight—first time ever. I told her I’d come home to see Beth, then go back over to the hospital to say good-night and to see if she’d changed her mind.”

She reached out to tug on a lock of her daughter’s light hair, prompting a halfhearted complaint.

“Mom! Stop!”

“All right,” Hope replied. “You really should be asleep, you know? Maybe Dad will tuck you in tonight.” Hope raised her eyes to meet Eric’s gaze—a gaze that seemed to linger on her. “That way I can get back over to the hospital quicker.”

“You stay home with Beth,” he offered. “I’ll go back to the hospital to check on Cass.”

Hope’s expression looked…grateful, he finally decided. She was probably relieved at the thought of enjoying the luxury of a good night’s rest. Not that it was anyone’s fault but Hope’s that she was staying at the hospital too much. Eric stayed whenever Hope agreed to it, which was seldom.

“Thank you,” she said quietly. “I could use the time here at home.” Then she looked away from Eric and into the cups she had retrieved from the microwave. She then added chocolate to the milk. Home. That word kept popping up in her mind. Why? Probably because Eric was around so much. She set a cup in front of each of them and joined them at the table. Staying here with Ed and Grace could not last long. No, she knew that was out of the question. Ed’s health wasn’t good enough for them to stay here indefinitely. And these were Eric’s parents, not her own—although there were times she nearly forgot that fact. Sometimes she almost wished she didn’t love them quite so much, didn’t feel as comfortable as she always did in their company. Eric’s family had become her family over the years. And that would be difficult to let go of.

“Hope? Are you okay?” Eric asked, his words suddenly cutting through her thoughts and returning her to the present.

“Yes, sorry. I guess I let my mind wander. What were you saying?” She met Eric’s eyes, dark with concern.

“I was asking if the doctor said he might release Cassie soon?”

“Yes, this morning he said that she might get out in a couple of days.” She took a sip of her drink and silently wished she had added a few marshmallows to her own cup. “Beth, would you hand that bag to me?”

Beth complied, and Eric watched in obvious amusement as Hope added a handful of the white fluffy sweetness to her cocoa.

“There couldn’t be much nutritional value in there, Hope,” he remarked to the wife who throughout their marriage had preached the hazards of too much sugar.

Hope shrugged. “The hot chocolate in the vending machines at the hospital has marshmallows in it, and I’ve gotten used to it. Hot chocolate doesn’t taste right without them now.” Kind of like life without Eric, she mused.

Eric excused himself from the table and stood up, delivering his empty cup to the sink. He kissed Beth on the temple. “I’m going to the hospital to see my other little blondie,” he said with a smile that faded as he looked from Beth to Hope. He saw the weariness in her eyes, and it worried him more than he’d say. “Get some rest, hon—” he began, then stopped. But it was too late. He turned his head to look away from the awkward surprise he’d glimpsed in her wide-eyed expression. The mistake had surprised him, too. “‘Hope,’ I mean,” he corrected, trying to bring a quick end to the embarrassing moment. “I’ll be back in a little while.”

“Thank you,” she said, and nothing else. But one corner of her mouth tipped up into a half smile as she watched him leave. “And thank you, Lord,” she whispered. Maybe things weren’t as hopeless as they sometimes seemed.

Eric shook his head in frustration after he walked out of the room. How could he let a term of endearment like that slip out so easily? But he already knew the answer. He still thought of her in that way—that’s how. Eric grabbed a jacket from the coatrack near the door, and stepped out into the chilly night air. She was the mother of his children, the best friend he’d ever had…and the woman he loved and wanted. They’d been happy before; all they needed was the chance to begin again. They both deserved to be happy, didn’t they? Surely, God wouldn’t deny them that. Eric glanced up at the black sky as though he could see straight through to God Himself. No, Eric corrected himself, he would never again speculate on what God would or wouldn’t do. He’d seen where that had taken him once before in life. Once was enough.

* * *

“Hi, princess,” Eric greeted Cassie as he entered the familiar hospital room. He gently grabbed a small foot through the soft yellow blanket covering her legs.

“Dad, hi!” Her face lit up when she saw him, and nothing pleased him more.

“So you want to spend a night by yourself, huh?” he asked, pulling her into a brief, but warm embrace. Then he reached for the old green chair he’d grown accustomed to sitting in during this hospital stay.

“Isn’t Trudy here now? I can’t believe you want to stay all night alone if your favorite nurse isn’t on duty.”

“She’s here. She just went to get me some cookies and juice for a bedtime snack. Go home, Dad. I’m ready to try it alone.” Cassie’s smile had a guilty edge to it.

“What’s up with you?” he asked.

“It will be good for you and Mom to both be home tonight. Together. In the same house. Don’t you think?” She giggled.

“So, that’s the motive,” he responded, grabbing her foot and tickling it while she laughed. “I knew there was something going on in that smart little brain of yours. You think your mother and I need help with our relationship?”

“Dad, I think you need all the help you can get.”

Then it was Eric’s turn to laugh. Mostly in surprise. “Thanks a lot for your confidence in dear old Dad,” he remarked, then took more serious note of what Cassie was implying. “I can’t promise things will work out with us. Be patient. We’ll see how it goes.”

“Do you still love Mom?”

“Yes, Cassie. I’ll always love your mother.” He leaned forward to kiss her forehead. “Always.”

Now, all he needed was a way to prove it—to the girls, and to Hope.