Читать книгу The Forever Husband - Kathryn Alexander - Страница 9

“Eric? What are you doing here?” Hope had walked around the corner of a French-fry stand, surprised to find her dark-haired husband. She hadn’t expected him at this annual hospital fund-raiser.

“I came to see my girl.” With a smile, he reached down to pick up their six-year-old daughter, Beth, who had grinned broadly as she rushed into her father’s arms.

“Hi, Daddy. I’m glad you’re here. Maybe you could win me a goldfish.”

“No goldfish, sweetheart. They never live long, and it breaks your heart when they die,” Eric replied before returning his attention to Hope. “I was upstairs visiting Cassie, and she told me that you were down here at this carnival, so I thought I’d stop by to see Beth.” He paused. “You don’t mind, do you? I mean, I realize it’s not my regularly scheduled day to see her.”

“No,” Hope said with a shake of her head. The wind caught her blond hair, blowing it around her face; she pushed it back. “I don’t mind. I’m just surprised to see you.”

She was very surprised, in fact, considering she and Eric had barely spoken since their separation six months ago. Exchanging children for visitation had been the extent of their involvement with each other until recently, when their older daughter, Cassie, had been hospitalized with pneumonia. Since then they’d seen each other more often, but their encounters remained brief, consisting mostly of passing each other coming and going from the hospital room, and discussing Cassie’s improving condition when necessary. Basically, they avoided each other as much as possible. Actually, Hope had to admit, Eric was the one doing most of the avoiding, which was probably for the best if she was to have any chance of getting him out of her heart.

“What are you doing here, anyway? Trying to keep this daughter of ours entertained?” he asked with a teasing pull on Beth’s blond ponytail.

“Something like that,” Hope replied. “I thought this little carnival would be fun for her.”

Eric nodded. “And are you having fun yet?” he asked the little girl wearing a yellow blouse and matching jumper with decorative sunflowers on the front pockets. Beth was a beautiful child, Eric thought for the millionth time. She looked just like her mother.

“Yeah! Look at those stuffed animals over there, Dad.” Beth pointed to a row of booths offering various games and prizes. “The one where you throw darts at the balloons can win a fat green frog.”

“Living or stuffed?” Hope asked immediately. She didn’t like the idea of a backyard funeral for a deceased frog later in the week. Or worse yet, the thing might actually live.

“Stuffed, Mom. Why would I want a real frog? They’re too yucky to have for a pet.”

“Good. I’ve trained you well,” Hope remarked, and saw the flash of amusement in her husband’s dark gaze.

“Let’s go see if we can win one, Beth,” Eric suggested. Then he looked directly into his wife’s blue eyes, something he had resisted doing whenever possible since they’d separated. “Maybe your mother would like to come with us.” He spoke to Beth while searching Hope’s face for the response.

She hesitated, then nodded in uncertain agreement Spending time with Eric would not be easy. She might enjoy it—too much.

But Hope walked with them to the blue booth with bright green frogs painted all over its walls. It took five dollars and ten darts, but Beth came away from the game a happy little girl with a fat frog tucked under each arm. They’d won an extra one for Cassie.

Then the three of them walked together, with Eric and Beth engaged in conversation. The two were discussing something about school when Hope realized she hadn’t been listening closely to what they were saying. She’d been walking along silently, thinking too much about her life with Eric. If the Lord had brought them together, how had they managed to go so far astray?

“You ready to go home, babe?” Eric inquired. Beth nodded her head slowly, as though tired.

“Mom? You ready to go, too?” her daughter asked.

“Yes, hon. I’m ready,” Hope replied.

Eric picked Beth up again, and she rested her head on his shoulder as he walked with Hope the short distance to where her red van was parked.

“Daddy? Can’t I ride home with you in your truck?” she asked. “Please?”

Eric’s black pickup was about a dozen spaces away in the next row over. He looked from the vehicle to Hope. “If it’s okay with your mother.”

She smiled. “Go ahead. I’ll see you at home.”

“Okay, Mom. See you later!” Beth responded. Eric reached to open the door of the van for Hope while holding their daughter in his other arm.

Hope moved past him and climbed into the vehicle. Then she slid her key into the ignition.

“Thank you,” she said quietly, looking back into Eric’s dark gaze.

He nodded without speaking, and closed the door for her. Then he and Beth headed toward the truck. Hope watched them go as she started her van and drove out of the lot.

The “home” Hope was headed toward was the house owned by Ed and Grace Granston, her mother- and father-in-law. They had invited Hope and the girls to stay with them during Cassie’s bout with pneumonia. Hope was dividing her time among the necessities: teaching, looking after Beth, and being with eight-year-old Cassie at the hospital every night. Staying with Eric’s parents had seemed like the best solution at the time she’d agreed to it. But now, as she neared the two-story white home, she wondered if she’d made the right decision. She’d known she would be around Eric, now and then, if she stayed with his mother and father. But it hadn’t happened—until today.

She parked her van in the driveway and turned off the ignition just as Eric pulled in beside her. Hope took a deep breath. “Lord, please help me get through this,” she whispered in the silence of her vehicle.

Maybe she and Beth could go upstairs and find something to do. That way, Eric could visit his parents, and Hope could keep her distance from him. She needed to do that, if she was going to let him go. Being near Eric again only reminded her of how much she loved him. And she’d found no provision for dealing with that in the separation agreement she’d refused to sign.

Eric and Beth were halfway to the front steps when Hope got out of her vehicle and walked past Eric’s truck. There was a stack of clothes on the seat of the pickup, she noticed. Could he be bringing laundry for his mother to wash? Possibly—but she didn’t really think so. It didn’t seem like something Eric would do.

Hope walked around the rear of the van. She pulled off her sunglasses and pushed wispy blond bangs from her forehead, just as she saw Beth run into the house ahead of her father. But Eric stopped and waited while Hope walked up the concrete steps to the porch. He held the front door open, glancing in her direction with curiosity. She rarely had been so subdued in their “together” days, she recalled. He was probably wondering why she was so quiet now.

Hope moved past him into the large house. His parents’ home, she reminded herself. She suddenly felt almost as though she were trespassing. Maybe living here temporarily wasn’t such a great idea. Still, even if just for the children’s sake, it seemed to be her best option right now. And sometimes, for no explicable reason, it felt to Hope as though the Lord wanted her there.

“I’m sorry, Hope. I haven’t even asked how you are,” Eric said.

“I’m fine,” she replied.

“Did you teach today?”

“No.” Hope turned to look at him. She knew that she should attempt to carry on this discussion with him, if only she could think of something neutral they could talk about. And asking about the clothes in the truck didn’t seem appropriate. “How’s the world of real estate?” she asked.

“It could be better,” Eric answered with a slight shrug, “but business will pick up again one of these days. It’s nothing for you to worry about.”

“I’m not worried,” she said quickly. “I was… only trying to make conversation.”

One corner of Eric’s mouth curved into a halfhearted smile. “That’s difficult to do with someone you’re accustomed to just talking to.”

She nodded in agreement and looked away from him toward their daughter. Eric had always been easy to talk to. That was one of the things she loved about him. That and his gentle nature. And his dark eyes, and the way time had etched featherlike laugh lines at the corners of them…There were so many things about Eric that she would always love, whether he belonged to her or not. Seeing him again today only reaffirmed what her heart already knew. She was in so deep, she’d probably never get out.

“Beth,” she said to her daughter, wanting to change her flow of thought, “If you do your homework and change your clothes, I’ll take you over to the hospital to see your sister again before bed-time.”

“Come on, Dad—” the child started up the staircase in a hurry “—you can help me go over my spelling words. I have ten to learn.”

“I’ll be there in a minute,” he called after Beth as she scampered away from him. Then he and Hope both glanced toward the sound of Ed and Grace Granston’s voices coming from the kitchen. Eric returned his gaze to his wife. “Hope…Mom and Dad want to talk to you about something.”

She didn’t reply right away; she was too busy noticing the hesitancy she saw in his eyes as he spoke. “It’s not about the divorce, is it, Eric? I don’t want to sign those papers—”

“It’s not,” he promised. “You don’t have to sign anything you don’t want to sign. Just hear them out while I help Beth with her homework.” Then he turned to go up the stairs toward his daughter’s room.

Hope stood silently at the foot of the staircase, remembering her feelings from the night they had parted—her sense of being right She hadn’t realized being “right” could feel so wrong, and she’d missed him almost before he’d walked out the door.

“Hope, dear, is that you?” Grace stuck her head around the kitchen door to see her daughter-in-law standing there, looking at the empty staircase. She adjusted her silver-frame glasses. “Could Ed and I speak with you for a moment?”

Hope followed Grace into the next room. “How are you feeling?” Hope asked her father-in-law when she noticed he looked even paler than he had in recent days.

“Well, that’s part of what we want to talk to you about,” Grace began. “He’s not been feeling as well as he could, and we’ve decided to take a little vacation for a couple of weeks.”

Hope’s heart sank. Staying here the past two weeks during Cassie’s illness had worked out so well for Hope and Beth that she hadn’t given much consideration to the strain it might put on the girls’ grandparents. “I’m sorry, Grace. You don’t need to leave your own home. Beth and I will find an apartment somewhere close by so you and Ed can—”

“No.” Grace and Ed were both shaking their heads in disagreement. “That’s just what we don’t want—you feeling that you need to move out. Ed and I haven’t been away from home since that autumn trip to New England over three years ago. It’s time for a change of scenery, wouldn’t you say? We want you and Beth to stay right here. But while we are away for those two weeks, you’ll still need someone around to help when you’re at the hospital…so we’ve asked Eric to move in.”

“No,” Hope said, shaking her head. “I’ll find someone else to help me—”

“If Ed and I are going to relax and enjoy this vacation, we need to know you’re here with someone we can count on. That someone is Eric. If you won’t let him be the one that stays here in our absence, then we’re not going.”

Hope sighed. She needed help from someone, at least during the nights she stayed with Cassie. She knew that. But, Eric? “Grace, let me ask some of the teachers I work with. Maybe one of them could let Beth sleep at their house while you’re gone.”

“No,” Grace responded flatly. “It’s going to be Eric. Cassie and Beth are his children, and this is his responsibility.”

“It would be awkward for us,” Hope said as casually as she could manage. Awkward? Having Eric around again? Day after day? It would be impossible.

“Call a truce for fourteen days. The arguing can resume once Ed and I come home.” Grace glanced toward her silent husband. “Ed, help me out with this.”

“She’s right, Hope. As we’ve said, we want you and the girls to stay with us as long as you need to. But you and Eric will have to get along together for a couple of weeks without us. You have children together—you’ll have to make this work.”

“But you don’t understand what you’re asking. Eric and I…” she began and then paused. How could she explain this? “Nothing’s been the same since Cassie hurt her back in that dive at the pool.”

“But Cassie recovered beautifully from that injury, thank the Lord,” Grace reminded. “She’s walking again, and all she needs now is to get over this pneumonia. Soon, she’ll be well, she’ll be home and life can get back to normal.”

But what was normal? Hope wondered. Life with Eric, or life without him? After all the years of loving him, she wasn’t sure anymore.

It was with quiet resignation that she assented to her in-laws’ decision. Then she walked slowly up the staircase toward Beth’s room. So, that explained the clothes in Eric’s truck. He was bringing them here, moving them into a room upstairs. Probably the one across the hall from hers. Hope sighed. She needed help during Ed and Grace’s absence. That was true. But she didn’t want to need Eric.

“Mom, I’m going back with you to see Cassie again tonight. Right?” Beth came running out of her room when she heard her mother’s footsteps in the hallway. “I’ve already printed each of my spelling words twice.”

“Good girl,” Hope said, and gave the child a hug. “Change your clothes, and we’ll go.” Beth ran back into her bedroom to change, out of hearing range, just as Eric stepped out of the room where he had been helping with homework. A sense of inadequacy swept over Hope as she met his serious gaze. Did she really need to accept his help? Couldn’t she work this out on her own without relying on this man?

“I have some things to bring in from the truck,” Eric said. He hesitated, studying her guarded expression before continuing. “Did Mom and Dad talk to you?”

“Yes,” she answered. “They told me you’re moving in.”

“It’s the logical thing to do, Hope. No matter how awkward it may be. The girls are my responsibility, too.”

Hope nodded her head in agreement, then looked away from Eric. Responsibility. Doing what he should do. Those were the things that would motivate Eric, and Hope wished it could be more.

Then she looked up at him and asked the question that had nagged at her for days. “Are you angry with me for being here?”

“I’d rather have you and the girls living here with my parents than five hundred miles away in Missouri with yours,” he replied quietly. “You know that, don’t you?”

“No, I—I guess I just needed to be sure,” she answered. Sure? She wasn’t sure about much of anything involving Eric Granston.

“If you take Beth with you, I’ll come by the hospital and pick her up in about an hour,” Eric stated. “That way she can have dinner, a bath and get to bed on time.”

Hope said simply, “Thank you,” and turned toward the guest room she was using during her stay. What an unpleasant two weeks this could turn out to be. Five hundred miles distance between them suddenly sounded good compared to six feet of hallway.

“Come on, hon,” Hope said as she gathered up a couple of books from the dresser. “Let’s go say good night to Cassie. Dad will pick you up later and bring you home.” She took a quick look down the hallway. No Eric in sight.

“Mom, do you have to stay at the hospital every night?” Beth asked with a sigh.

Hope felt torn. She knew it was hard sometimes for Beth, who needed attention and comforting now as much as did her sister. “Maybe not every night,” she responded before touching her little girl’s soft blond curls, the same shade as her own. “But until she tells me that herself, I’ll stay with her. Eight years old is still rather young to be left alone in a hospital. She’s nearly well, anyway, and soon she’ll be home. Then things will get back to the way you like them.”

“And you’ll be home more,” Beth added.

“Definitely,” she agreed, and kissed her daughter on the top of her little blond head. “Then we’ll find a new place to live.”

“With Dad?”

“No, Beth. Not with Dad.” Hope reached for her sweater and purse and glanced at her watch. “Grab your jacket—we’ve got to go.”

“I don’t want to move away. I like it here with Grandma and Grandpa,” Beth insisted.

Hope nodded. “I know you do. We’ll talk about it later. Now, go tell Grandma and Grandpa we’re leaving. She’s fixing fried chicken for you and Dad to have later.”

“Yum! My favorite!” Beth exclaimed as she headed down the staircase away from her mother. She had become more and more independent of Hope since Cassie’s accident. Self-preservation, Hope thought a little sadly. In a way, she missed being needed more by her youngest daughter. At least Eric would be around to give Beth more attention. Once again Hope felt herself panic at the thought of sharing the house for two solid weeks. But Cassie was waiting, and it was time to go.

Hope and Beth entered the pastel blue of the hospital room. “Hi, sweetheart. How are you feeling?” Hope gave two children’s books and a kiss to her girl.

“Daddy and I won you this!” Beth exclaimed as she placed the friendly looking frog beside her sister. “I have one just like it at home.”

“Cool. Thanks, Beth. And I’m doing okay, Mom. I just ate my dinner.” Cassie sat up a little straighter in the bed. “I’ve been watching television.”

“I brought the books you asked for. Beth had to help me find them. They were buried in your box of stuffed animals.”

“They were way down in the bottom,” Beth added. “Down below Brown Bear, Papa Bear and Bob.”

Hope grinned. “Bob” was their oldest teddy bear, and he wore a floppy blue hat and red pants with yellow suspenders. How they had decided on the name, she had no idea, but he’d been “Bob” for as long as anyone could remember.

“Thanks, guys,” Cassie said. “I’ve been missing these books. I’ll read one to you tonight, Mom.”

“Good,” Hope pulled a chair up beside the bed and sat down. “If you feel like it.”

“I feel okay. My fever is down—almost gone, Nurse Trudy said.”

“Great!” Hope responded. “Maybe, by tomorrow, it will be all gone.” She knew that Cassie’s doctor was reluctant to let her go home—despite her continuing improvement—until he was certain she was well. Completely. The last time she came home after being hospitalized with a lung infection, she suddenly became worse and much to every-one’s dismay had to be readmitted. No one wanted that to happen again. “I’ll talk to your doctor in the morning. Then I’ll find out how you’re doing.”

“Are you teaching tomorrow?” Cassie asked.

“Yes,” Hope answered. “Second grade.” She had reduced her workload to substitute teaching after Cassie’s diving accident almost two years ago. But Hope taught whenever she could. Since her separation from Eric six months ago, whatever money she earned proved useful. When they had sold their house earlier in the year, they’d split the equity evenly, and Hope was saving her share with the thought of buying a small house of her own when the time was right.

“Guess what?” Beth asked as she climbed up on the bed to sit by Cassie’s feet. “Daddy’s picking me up in a little while, and we’re going home to eat fried chicken with Grandma and Grandpa.”

“Lucky you,” Cassie remarked.

Her daughter’s complexion looked much brighter than it had yesterday, Hope noticed. She leaned forward to touch the girl’s cheek. “That sounds good to me, too, hon. We’ll have fried chicken to celebrate when you come home, if the doctor says it’s okay,” Hope added.

And until Cassie came home from the hospital or until her grandparents’ vacation ended, Eric would be there, she reminded herself. How could Hope explain to the girls that he would be living with them again, and yet not let them expect too much? Especially, when she was having difficulty keeping her own wants and wishes in line.

“Cassie, Beth. Do you know Grandma and Grandpa are going to be gone for a while? They’re taking a little vacation.”

“Grandma told me they’re going on a cruise,” Cassie confirmed. “She’s always wanted to do that. She told me this morning.”

Hope nodded her head. “Right, well, while they are gone, they think I need someone to help out around the house.”

“Like a housekeeper? Like some of the families on TV have?” Beth asked.

“No,” Hope answered, suddenly feeling thankful that her life wasn’t as mixed up as some of the sitcoms she’d seen. “No, they asked your father to move in while they’re away. So…Dad will be living there. With us. Temporarily.”

The girls’ faces lit up like fireworks. Just the response Hope had feared.

“Yeah! Dad’s coming home! When?” Beth squealed. Cassie was a little more reserved, smiling broadly, but not asking any questions.

“He’s moving some of his clothes and belongings from his apartment—”

“I never did like that apartment he had over the office, anyway,” Cassie remarked. “I’d rather have him at Grandma’s with us.”

“Me, too!” Beth chimed in.

“But, remember, it’s only for a short period of time,” Hope reminded. “Just a couple of weeks or less.”

“Or more,” Beth replied.

“No,” Hope stated firmly, and gathered Beth into her arms. “This is just for a little while.”

“But this is exactly what we were praying for, isn’t it, Cassie? Ever since Dad left—”

“Beth, honey, Dad and I aren’t getting back together. We’re just going to be staying in the same house for a while,” Hope explained as a sudden pang of loneliness hit her. How she wished it did mean more. She and Eric had known many happy years together.

Beth still sounded optimistic. “Maybe he’ll start going to church again. Wouldn’t that be good? He could teach Sunday School like he used to do. I know the kids miss him. And he could be trusted again.”

“You mean a ‘trustee,’” Cassie corrected.

A flash of humor crossed Hope’s face. Then it was gone. Maybe Beth was right. Hope had stopped trusting him. Lord knows, Eric had given her enough reason to do so.

“Girls, this is exactly what I was afraid of. Don’t get excited over this. Nothing has changed between your father and me.”

“But prayer changes things,” Cassie said with sincerity. “You said so yourself.”

“Yes, it can change things,” Hope responded, “but God doesn’t answer every prayer with a ‘yes.’”

“But some of them, He does,” Beth argued.

Some of them, He does. Hope couldn’t argue with that. She’d seen many prayers answered in her lifetime, one of the greatest being Cassie’s complete recovery from serious injuries she’d sustained at a pool two summers ago. The girl had regained her ability to walk again and returned to a normal life, although it had taken time and therapy. Too much of both, according to Eric. And that was only part of what had driven him away from the Lord, from church and from his family.

But through it all, he had never blamed Hope. Not for anything. Sometimes she wondered if she’d have felt less guilty if he had.

“Hi, girls. How ya doin’?”

Eric’s voice sounded pleasant, almost soothing as he greeted the children. Hope glanced up from fluffing Cassie’s pillow to see him enter the room with a smile. A nice smile. The kind she could almost believe was meant for her.

“Ready for some chicken? I’m starving,” Beth said as she picked up her pink jacket and ran to give her big sister a hug.

“’Bye, Beth. Save some of that food for me!” Cassie called as Beth headed toward the door.

Eric kissed Cassie and mussed up her hair a little before he walked away. “I’ll see you again tomorrow, sweetie.” Then he looked directly at Hope. “I’d be glad to stay here if you’re tired. You could use a good night’s rest at home, you know.”

Home. Exactly where was that? It used to be wherever Eric was. She shook her head. “Thanks, anyway, but I’m fine tonight. Maybe some other time.”

Eric nodded in reluctant agreement. “Then, we’ll see you in the morning,” he responded quietly.

Hope saw a flicker of uncertainty, almost a ten-derness, in Eric’s gaze before he took Beth’s hand and turned to go. His dark brown hair was cut short and silky straight in complete contrast to the blond curls of the little girl who gazed up at him as they walked away. Eric hadn’t changed his clothes since she’d seen him earlier. His gray slacks and white shirt were slightly rumpled, and his dark blue tie was loosened but still present. He had that weary look about him that Hope wanted to soothe away with the right words or a soft touch. She lowered her clear blue gaze to the pillow she still held in her hands. She missed him. Deeply. She didn’t want to, but she did.

“Mom, ready for me to read to you?”

She returned her gaze and attention to her brighteyed daughter. “Of course, I am, hon. Just let me move these cushions around and turn this cot into a bed.” Hope picked up the extra folded blanket she had brought from home so she could make herself comfortable on the makeshift bed. Nights of unsettled sleep sometimes brought an achiness into Hope’s shoulders that she couldn’t quite overcome, and she knew she would miss Grace’s occasional backrubs. They’d been almost as good as the ones Eric had given over the years. No, on second thought, Hope considered as she remembered her husband’s strong, warm touch, they weren’t that good.

“Cassie, hon,” she said, wanting to think of something else—anything else—but Eric, “I think it’s time for you to read.”

As Eric led Beth through the maze of hospital corridors and out to the parking lot, he was thoughtful. He wanted to help Hope in whatever ways she would allow, and he knew there might not be many. He’d avoided her for too long, but only in an attempt to protect his own heart. Maybe she wouldn’t forgive him. Maybe he was too late. And maybe asking his parents to go away on an unscheduled vacation wouldn’t prove to be the perfect solution he hoped it might be. He guessed the next two weeks would give him the answers he needed.