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In his book The Thank You Economy, Gary Vaynerchuk describes this shift from broadcast to social media by drawing upon an important distinction between caring and selling.

Vaynerchuk tells the story of how he helped grow his traditional family-owned wine shop, Wine Library, through an active digital social media presence. The story begins with Twitter.

Vaynerchuk began by following conversations on Twitter about wine, specifically chardonnay, and answering questions and giving recommendations. But he made a point never to link to his own website. He wanted to make a human connection, not just a sale. He writes:

To find conversations on particular topics on Twitter, enter a term at twitter. com/search and the latest tweets with that keyword will appear:

For example, you can look for your denomination or more general terms like “spirituality,” “prayer,” “Christianity,” and so on.

Eventually, people started to see my comments and think, “Oh, hey, it’s that Vaynerchuk guy; he knows Chardonnay. Oh cool, he does a wine show—let’s take a look. Hey, he’s funny. I like him; I trust him. And check it out: he sells wine, too. Free shipping? Let’s try a bottle of that. . . .” That’s what caring first, not selling first, looks like, and that’s how I built my brand.

Now, at the end the day, Vayner chuk does want to sell something. He wants people to order some wine. And he knows that engaged and happy customers make for good revenue streams and, thus, profits. In some respects, it is not about relationships themselves, but about monetizing relationships. In business, relationships are typically a means to an end. This is certainly not necessarily evil. People need and want lots of things, and it is more pleasant to go about obtaining these things from people who are able to connect with you on a personal level, who are attending to something of your authentic self. For digital ministers, however, the meaningful relationships we create and nurture should be ends in themselves, not the means to increasing our membership or giving levels.

Occasionally review your list of friends on Facebook or followers on Twitter as a reminder of who you are speaking to when you post.

This is a subtle but quite powerful distinction that often makes much of the very good advice on using social media for business marketing not particularly adaptable to church settings. We are ministers, not marketers, so our presence in digital spaces must be very clearly defined in terms of authentic ministry—an authentic connection with others that focuses on the sharing of love, wisdom, and gifts rather than monetary or other transactional exchanges.

That said, Vaynerchuk is right about this: people need to know that you care—and they need to care about you before they will ever care about your institution. They must be invested in your mission and ministry before they will be invested in the success of your congregation or organization in achieving that mission. Being human, authentic, and caring is the entry point for engagement with you and your congregation.

So, don’t just share information about your church. Don’t sell your church or yourself. Move beyond “creating buzz” by promoting others, making connections, making introductions, encouraging others, and sharing your story, experiences, and life of faith. Perhaps most importantly, telling your church’s story should always be preceded by sharing your story. In social media, the personal is primary. As Elizabeth has argued, “Institutions don’t do social. People do social.”²

Part of being personal is not trying to speak to everybody at once. This often happens naturally, but try to address small groups among your friends and followers. Your tone will be personal, but it allows others to overhear.

People want to connect with people. That’s the whole point of social media. Effective social media ministry invites and nurtures these personal connections.