Читать книгу Up In Flames - Kira Sinclair - Страница 10
ОглавлениеERIK HAD NO idea what the hell was going on. He’d been sound asleep one minute and had a warm, very willing woman pressed against him the next.
Used to going from zero to a thousand in the blink of an eye thanks to his job, Erik was absolutely, positively lucid as he rolled. Somewhere in the middle of the maneuver his brain kicked in and he knew the woman in his bed was Lola.
He recognized the feel of her. Her unique scent, something citrus with a spicy undertone. A brush of cinnamon now that had never been there before.
Even after six years, every detail about this woman was etched into his brain...right along with the ever present need for more of her.
So his body reacted, going stone hard in a split second. His burgeoning erection nestled between the soft heat of her thighs. Somehow he managed to bite back the groan climbing up his throat.
“What the hell?” he growled, his voice rough with sleep.
Even through the heavy darkness, Lola stared up at him with those rich brown eyes that had always had the ability to slam through him. Her face was so damn expressive.
And right now her expression was hazy and hot. She was as turned on as he was. Which wasn’t helping. Her chest rose and fell on short breaths and her skin... God, touching her burned.
Involuntarily, his hips pulsed against her, rubbing his throbbing flesh into the cradle of her thighs. And Erik realized she was almost completely naked.
Miles of her silky, honey-toned skin spread out, just begging for him to taste her.
He wanted her. Needed her. Had missed her so much. But he was also wary and still reeling from the things she’d said yesterday. All true, but still...
Fingers tangled in her long, dark hair, Erik said, “A day ago you were condemning me, and now you’re crawling into my bed half-naked? What gives, Lola?”
Her expression morphed, shuttered. Her gaze darted over his shoulder, focusing on something other than him. He didn’t like that at all.
Lola shifted, this time not to get closer, but to slip away.
“Oh, no you don’t.” His fingers tightened, pulling her gaze back on his. “You’re the one who climbed into my bed. I’m keeping you here until you explain what the hell is going on.”
Tension tightened her body for several seconds before everything inside her just...relaxed, and she sank deeper into the mattress beneath the weight of his body.
“Nothing, Erik. Let me go.”
He should. Deep down, Erik knew it. But the feel of her...having her in his bed again after all these years...
Softly his fingers untangled from her hair and trailed across the silky smooth skin of her cheek and jaw. Touching her was the most amazing form of torture. The kick of awareness and need would have brought him to his knees if he was upright.
This woman had always had the ability to cut straight through him. He’d wanted her since he was seventeen. It had taken him almost a year to convince her to go out with him. To look at him as something other than her big brother’s best friend.
In those months he’d done everything he could to show her he was serious and not just looking for something quick and easy. And the day she’d finally agreed to go out with him...he’d never forget the powerful, joyful feeling that had swept through him. Or the delight and wonder in her expression when she’d opened the box to find the camera he’d saved six months to buy her. The extra hours he’d worked had been totally worth it.
He hadn’t given her the gift just in the hopes of breaking through her defenses. He understood the reasons she’d resisted, but he’d always known they’d be amazing together.
At seventeen he’d been sure Lola Whittaker was the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. And up until the day he’d almost killed her brother, that had continued to be the plan.
So, yes, he should listen and let her go.
But he couldn’t. He might have left, but he’d never let her go in his heart. Not really. Lola had haunted him for six years. He’d done the right thing once. Apparently he wasn’t strong enough to do it again.
“I can’t,” he whispered right before his mouth claimed hers.
She stiffened, but the reaction lasted only a handful of seconds before she gripped his shoulders and pulled him closer. A sound leaked out of her throat, a cross between a groan and relief.
At a single swipe of his tongue across her lips, she parted her mouth and let him in. God, she tasted just like he remembered. Spearing his tongue deep inside her mouth, he stroked against her own silky tongue.
She sucked and nipped. Chased after him when he tried to pull away. “Easy, baby,” he murmured. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Her legs tangled with his, hands chasing urgently over hot skin. She was just as frantic for him, which settled something deep inside him.
Erik pulled back, needing to look at her. Take her in. See her again. His gaze scraped down her lush body, all golden skin and compact muscle. God, she was gorgeous. And he wasn’t just talking about the outside.
Lola had always intrigued him. Even as a kid, her confidence and determination were enviable and contagious. She knew who she was and what she wanted. From the outside looking in, he didn’t think she’d ever faltered or questioned her own path.
He was someone who always questioned who he was, where he was going and what his purpose was, so her attitude had been like a shining beacon, pulling him in.
Lola, eyes half-lidded and sparkling with promise, arched up. Reaching behind herself, she popped the clasp of her bra open. Shaking the straps down her arms, she tossed the thing to the floor.
Just as he’d remembered, even her breasts were that warm, golden tone. He wanted to run his tongue over every inch of her skin, breathe her in. Her dark, dusky nipples puckered hard, begging him to touch and taste.
She squirmed beneath his gaze, a flash of unease crossing her expression. “Don’t,” he whispered. Erik didn’t think he could take it if she changed her mind. Not now.
“I don’t do reckless,” she murmured. And Erik knew just how true that statement was. Losing her mom so suddenly, living with her remaining parent risking his life every night...and then falling for Erik even after he started living the same life. That fear she’d kept bottled up had made her cautious, not that he blamed her.
Colt’s accident had surely made her even more so.
His life, on the other hand, was nothing but reckless.
Erik shifted, ready to climb out of bed even though it was the last thing he really wanted.
But Lola’s grip on him tightened, holding him in place. “Tonight I’m stepping outside my comfort zone,” she whispered. “You walked away without giving me anything, Erik. Give me this.”
Her words lanced through him, mixing pain into the pleasure that swamped his body. But he couldn’t tell her no. Had never been able to tell her no. Which was why he’d texted that he was leaving—because he knew if he’d looked in her eyes and she’d asked him to stay, he would have.
The thought of watching the love she’d felt for him morph into accusation and loathing—blame he’d rightly deserved replacing everything they once shared—had nearly killed him.
Tomorrow they’d deal with whatever came next. Right now he just planned on loving her.
Her hips shifted beneath him, rubbing the moist heat of her sex over his throbbing erection. This time, Erik didn’t bother trying to bite back the groan that twisted through him. Although he did smother it when he wrapped his lips around the irresistible flesh of her breast.
He sucked hard and then smoothed the flat of his tongue against the tight peak. Scraping his teeth softly up, he stopped, gently holding her nipple prisoner...and then blew. She writhed beneath him, her leg wrapping high on his hip.
“You were always so responsive,” he growled, dragging his mouth, tongue and teeth over every inch he could reach.
“Only with you,” she breathed.
A possessive sense of wonder slammed through him. His. Lola had always been his. But that possessiveness came with a dark edge, because while her statement made him feel powerful, it also made it glaringly obvious that he hadn’t been the only man to touch her like this.
He had no right for that to piss him off. And yet it did. She’d been a virgin when they’d come together. That had meant something to both of them.
Dammit, this was not the time or place for those thoughts.
Scooting down the bed, he pushed the memories away with the need to put his mouth on her and make her whimper.
Kneeling between her spread thighs, Erik hooked his fingers into the waistband of her panties and slid them down her legs.
“Look how wet you are. For me,” he murmured, swiping a finger through the dripping evidence of her arousal. She moaned, her hips chasing after him.
“Please, Erik. Please.”
“You’re so pretty when you beg, Lola.”
Her feet flat on the bed, she bucked up. Her sex was pink and swollen. Pulsing with arousal. The scent of her made him dizzy.
Sweeping in, Erik ran his tongue up her slit, letting the taste of her burst through his mouth. Salty, with a tang he wanted more of.
Finding her clit, he circled around it over and over again, never quite touching it, until her body was strung so tight he thought she might break. And she whimpered again. Only then did he stroke across the tight bundle of nerves.
Her head thrashed back and forth against his pillow. Plunging two fingers deep inside her wet heat, Erik increased the onslaught, drowning in the need to feel her come apart against his mouth.
Her release came on a keening cry. He’d hear about that in the morning from the other guys, but at the moment he didn’t give a good goddamn. Not when her body was clamping hard around his fingers and the gush of her orgasm was filling his mouth.
He worked her through the release, pulling out every last moment of pleasure he could give her. Until she went lax, her body melting into a puddle.
He stroked a hand down her torso, enjoying the way she pushed up into his caress, even with her eyes screwed shut.
“Holy crap,” she whispered, her voice scratchy from screaming.
“I’m not nearly done with you, angel,” he promised, pushing her tangled hair from her face.
Grabbing his wallet off the top of the table beside them, he fished out the condom he kept in there. Shedding his sweats, he started to roll the condom over his throbbing erection, but she pulled his hands away.
“Let me.”
Taking the ring of latex from him, Lola placed it over his head and with slow, torturous movements pushed it down to cover his length. She stayed there once he was covered, stroking up and down in a way that had breath hissing through his clenched teeth.
“I am not going off in your hand, Lola. That’s not enough for me. I want all of you.”
Her eyes flashed. “You always have. Greedy man.”
Oh, she had no idea.
Hooking his arms beneath her knees, Erik moved between her thighs, positioned himself at her opening, and pressed forward.
He pulsed, pushing in a little at a time, both because he didn’t want to hurt her and because it felt so damn good. He wanted to savor this moment, draw it out as long as he could.
But Lola wasn’t content with that. Her body was already flushing with renewed arousal. Hips matching his. Fingers digging into his ass. She pulled him down to her at the same time she arched up, finally taking all of him.
God, they fit together so well. Always had. He’d never found this with anyone else, and God knew for the first few years he’d tried. But attempting to erase the need for her with other women had been stupid and disappointing.
Because no one could ever measure up.
That was his last coherent thought, because instinct and the red haze of lust took over. He found a rhythm, a familiar one they’d indulged in many times before.
Their mouths and hands raced across sweat-slicked skin. The orgasm built steadily, the pressure of release beckoning him just to let go. But after years of waking up from a sound sleep with memories of Lola leaving him sweaty and hard, he wasn’t ready for this to end.
This time, Erik smothered her cry with his mouth, taking even that for himself. The tight grip of her sex sent him careening over the edge. His own orgasm broke across him, consuming everything but the pleasure they’d always found together.
In that vulnerable moment, Erik couldn’t stop himself from letting the dam of emotion break free. Everything he’d locked away six years ago rolled over him, a tsunami full of debris and danger.
Realizing too late what a bad idea this was, Erik collapsed onto the bed beside her.
Their labored breaths mingled, harsh in the quiet night. Now that the need had been met, everything else was taking over. The anger and guilt he’d harbored earlier rushed in to steal the pleasure.
Beside him, Lola stirred. Not to roll into him like a lover, but to slip from his bed and reach for her panties on the floor.
And the whole damn mess just got better when he pushed out of bed and reached for the condom to dispose of it. The thing had broken.
With a giant curse, Erik slammed his hand down on the bedside table.
Lola jumped. “What the hell?”
Spinning to look at her, he snatched the busted sleeve of latex from his body and held it up for her to see.
Her eyes went wide with panic.
“Are you on the pill?”
“No.” He watched her eyes flash with trepidation. “The timing’s close, but I think we should be okay. Are you clean?”
That pissed him off even more. Not because she’d asked—it was a valid question. But because there was a time it wouldn’t have been a question at all. It reminded him that she had history he knew nothing about, too. “Why do you think the condom broke? I haven’t slept with anyone in over a year. I can’t remember how long the thing’s been in there.”
“And you’re just now thinking about this?” Her tone of incredulity scraped down his spine.
“I was a little preoccupied with other things at the time, Lola. I didn’t expect to wake up with a naked, willing woman in my bed tonight.”
Which reminded him, now that they weren’t distracted by hormones and history, to ask what had sent her to his bed.
“What changed, Lola? Why did you come to me tonight?”
A grimace twisted her face. She looked away, crossed her arms over her heavy breasts and then speared him with a level gaze. He knew he wasn’t going to like whatever she had to say.
“I wasn’t coming to see you, Erik. I was looking for someone else.”
* * *
“OH, I DEFINITELY got screwed.” In more ways than one.
For the second night in a row, Lola found herself at a bar table with her girls clustered around her for moral support.
Only this time she’d insisted on nothing but water. Those damn shots had gotten her into enough trouble already.
No, that wasn’t fair. She’d been tipsy, but she’d been fully aware of what she was doing. By the time she realized she’d crawled into Erik’s bed instead of Sean’s, her libido had taken control and started making the decisions.
Groaning, she said, “I just...couldn’t stop.” And then dropped her head onto that table. Because hiding would definitely make everything better.
Tatum snorted. Hope’s soothing hand rubbed down her spine. And some blessed soul plopped a brownie onto the table in front of her. The sweet scent of chocolate should have tempted her at least to look up. It didn’t.
“It was like no time had passed. Forget how reckless he is. How he nearly got my brother killed. Or the way he just left, breaking up with me by text.” She raised her head, looking around the table. “Text! After dating for five years.”
What was wrong with her? Six years later she was still so pissed at him. But that hadn’t stopped her from wanting him once she’d been in his bed...
She’d told him that she wanted closure. And maybe that was partly true, but there was more. Closure probably should have involved a conversation with words instead of their bodies.
She’d just wanted him.
Because she was weak. Once she’d touched him, it had all come flooding back. The first time he’d kissed her, on the front porch of her house with her dad peeking through the blinds. But Erik hadn’t cared. He’d wanted her father to know he was taking her seriously. The kiss had been so perfect and sweet, but the expression in his eyes when he’d pulled away...it had slayed her. Crumbled her defenses.
Or the first time they’d made love, late at night by the lake. He hadn’t pushed her or expected anything. He’d waited until she was ready and then gave her the most romantic, amazing experience. A hell of a lot better than the first time for most of her friends.
Or the endless, passionate nights they’d shared after. The way he could place his hand on the small of her back and make her feel protected and safe. The expression on his face when he was deep inside her, like she was the only thing on earth worth existing for.
The countless memories that had hurt for six years had suddenly flooded in again, only this time they weren’t tinged with pain. Just this wonderful sense of right that she couldn’t let go of.
Even if she knew it was temporary.
God, she was pathetic.
Sleeping with him had been a huge mistake. And when she’d told him she’d been looking for someone else, his devastation should have made her feel better. Like she’d given him a little piece of what he’d dished out to her. But it didn’t. It made her feel even worse. No matter what had happened between them, she didn’t want him to hurt.
Erik had been hurt enough in his life.
“Dammit,” she breathed out, rubbing her hands over her gritty eyes. She hadn’t slept much last night.
The door opened and raucous laughter followed. Baritone voices boomed above the general din of the place. It was a Wednesday night, but the bar was still plenty busy. Decorated like an Irish pub, it was the comfortable hangout for singles and couples alike in Sweetheart. Dark wood and mellow light gave it a warm, friendly feel even as the high-backed booths offered more privacy than the round table she and the girls occupied.
Lola rolled her head, taking in the group that had just walked in. And immediately straightened.
The last thing she needed was her brother and his phalanx of testosterone-laden friends to see her moping. She just knew word would somehow make it back to Erik. Hell, Colt would probably tell him...if he knew she’d slept with him.
Which she had no intention of ever telling her brother. This was one mistake she planned to keep to herself and her girls.
The group, Colt and Sean among them, pushed through the loitering patrons toward a table at the back of the bar, but they got waylaid when they reached the women.
Gage and Evan slipped up behind their wives, slinging arms around their shoulders or waists. Lola watched Hope and Tatum lean back into their men, a comfortable, familiar gesture that made something in the center of her chest ache.
She’d had that once. Familiarity and comfort. With Erik.
Nope, she wasn’t going there. She would not be jealous of her friends and the happiness they’d found.
Lola pushed out her chair, leaving a space for Colt to roll up beside her. “Hey, sis. Didn’t realize you were out tonight.”
The other guys pulled up chairs, filtering into their group and taking up conversation. Sean squeezed in on her other side, dropping his arm around her shoulders and tangling his fingers into her hair.
She turned and gave him a smile that felt sickly. After what happened last night—and what she’d intended to happen—she was a little uncomfortable with him touching her. It felt wrong for so many reasons. But he wouldn’t understand, so Lola left his hand where it was.
Their waitress came by and took orders. The opportunity for conversation with her girls was gone, but Lola didn’t mind the camaraderie that replaced it.
These were her people. The ones she could count on to be there for her when she needed them most. Inexplicably, she felt the sting of tears hit her eyes. And out of nowhere, Colt grabbed her hand and squeezed.
She glanced over at him, wishing she hadn’t when she realized he was watching her with his calm, steady gaze. For a split second she wondered if he knew. Even growing up, he’d somehow had a sixth sense about when she was headed straight for trouble.
Where’d that skill been last night when she’d needed it?
“You good?” he asked in a soft voice only for her ears.
“No.” Because she’d never lie to her brother. Maybe bend the truth or commit the sin of omission, but never outright lie. “I’m pissed at you. Why didn’t you tell me he was back?”
“Because I knew you’d just build your armor up that much higher. I don’t know what happened between you—I was a little preoccupied and you’ve never shared the details with me—but I do know it’s been holding you back for six years.”
“It has not.”
His level stare lasered through her. “Lola, you haven’t had a real relationship since he left.”
“I’ve dated,” she protested. Which was true. Even if none of those dates had led to more than a nice dinner, some pleasant conversation and occasionally a physical outlet. “And I’ve been busy. It’s hard work building a photography business from the ground up.”
“Try selling that snake oil somewhere else. I’m the one who books your appointments, sends out your invoices and pays your bills. Your business has been established and highly profitable for the last several years.”
She harrumphed.
“Stop using it as an excuse.”
She wasn’t! Or...crap, maybe she was.
“You guys need to talk things out. Take the opportunity while he’s home to get some closure, kid.” Colt squeezed her hand again. “So that you can move on with your life and find some happiness.”
“I’m happy.” She didn’t need a man in her life to be happy. Her gaze drifted across the table to Hope and Gage. His arm was around her shoulders as he bent down, murmuring into her ear. The way Hope leaned into him, the expression of bliss on her face... If she were honest with herself, she’d be stupid not to crave that for herself.
The two of them turned back to the conversation flowing around the table. Everyone else ordered another round of drinks, although Lola stuck with her water. Colt gave her a side eye but didn’t comment.
They were enjoying themselves. Sean was being charming and funny, telling a story that had the entire table laughing.
But the camaraderie was demolished when about a half hour later, the door slammed open again. Lola’s back was to the entrance, but somehow she knew who was coming in before she even turned around.
The shocked, panicked expression on Hope’s face was a dead giveaway. Not to mention the way Lola’s body reacted. Her muscles tightened with tension and anticipation. Energy crackled across her skin. And she could practically feel those gorgeous gray eyes boring into the back of her neck.
She turned anyway. Yep, he was staring right at her. No, wait, he was staring at Sean and the arm he had wrapped casually over the back of her chair.
Oh, shit.
Colt raised his voice in greeting—“Erik!”—and waved him over.
It was like watching a car accident in slow motion. She could do nothing to stop it, though a warning yelp burst through her lips anyway.
“Erik, don’t.”
He didn’t slow down, just barreled across the bar. Colt’s reaction changed, going from welcoming to wary in the space of a second. Unaware of Erik’s real target, he rolled his chair backward, effectively blocking Lola in and preventing her from intervening.
Erik’s gaze flicked to her for a split second, raking her with the heat of his anger, but bounding sideways to Sean.
“I’ve been looking for you,” he growled.
Sean, oblivious to the undercurrent, said, “Oh, yeah? What can I do for you?”
Panic seized Lola. She tried to leap over Colt to get to Erik, but only managed to go sprawling over the edge of his chair. Colt’s strong hands gripped her, preventing her from flipping headfirst onto the floor.
All she could do was watch in horror.
Fisting his hands into Sean’s shirt, Erik jerked him up from his chair. Sean didn’t even bother to defend against the first blow, maybe because he hadn’t realized it was coming.
But he definitely ducked the second.
