Читать книгу Defiant. Tome 1. Defiant - - Страница 8

She awoke with a sharp inhale, immediately gritting her teeth from the pain piercing her spine.

In frenzy she reached out to the bedside table, feeling for one of the syringes, her fingers slipping off the capsules and devices, dropping them to the floor.

Gasping for air, Serena tried to push herself up to see the medicine, but the pain was so overwhelming that she fell down on the bed again. A medical helper bot whirled up to her side and she felt it administering some painkillers that almost immediately relieved the pain.

«Would you like me to call your medic?» the bot asked, running a quick scan.

«No…» Serena pushed out of herself, slowly relaxing on the bed again and feeling the position being a little awkward for her.

She rarely slept on her stomach before, but now it was the only pose she could fall asleep in without disturbing the back that still gave her a hard time.

«Scans show you have awakened from what appears to be a nightmare. I would advise you to speak about this with Alpha level medic Kareem Dorn Thilidin. He might be able to help you with any psychological trauma…»

«Shut up.» Serena growled, pressing her face to the pillow.

The bot didn’t reply and lowered to the floor to collect and disinfect everything that Serena dropped when trying to give herself an injection.

The woman lay there, unmoving, for a bit, until she could finally slip away into her dreams again, grateful for the helper bots being there.

Two days passed since she awakened in the Imperial Hospital and got up, and with every passing day she felt more and more unnerved being stuck in the room.

It didn’t help that she still felt extremely weak and heavy every time she tried to walk. And when she did and went out into the gardens – her room had a direct access to a small private part, from which she could venture into the main area – she hated seeing other patients staring at her and whispering all the time.

All this – together with the overwhelming care her medic always showed towards her – made her feel like she was a cornered animal held in captivity.

When morning came and Serena woke up, she lay on the bed for a bit, before pushing herself up. It still caused her great pain, but she endured, hoping that Kareem would see that she was doing better and would be able to leave soon.

«Call Kareem to my room!» she ordered to the helper bot that offered her the usual morning water packet.

She snatched the packet and drank it, feeling angry for no reason.

«Would you like your breakfast delivered to your room?» the bot asked. «Or will you prefer it to be taken out into the garden?»

Serena grimaced, knowing very well that she wouldn’t be able to get out of having a meal, even though she felt nauseated every morning:

«I’ll eat in the room.»

The meal was served quickly – a filling portion of balanced proteins and healthy vegetables and fruits. Serena pecked at the food, not really feeling herself in the mood to eat – or, for that matter, even to speak to Kareem.

She wanted to get out.

Finally, the door to her room opened and the woman glanced at Kareem walking inside with his usual polite smile:

«You wished to see me, Lady Serena?» he tilted his head.

«I need to get out of here.» the woman said. «Today.»

«You are free to go out into the gardens…»

«No, Kareem. I need to get out of this hospital and these robes…»

«Unfortunately, this is impossible until you are fully healed.»

«You don’t understand! I feel cornered here, Kareem! I have nothing to do, no one to talk to, every single patient and visitor that sees me outside my room is always whispering with whomever they are near…»

«Ah, well, that is the result of you being a famous patient. After all, you’ve saved the Empress, risking your life.» Kareem smiled.

«I don’t care!» Serena forced herself to calm down. «I don’t care what they think or assume. I just want to get out of here.»

«I cannot allow this, Lady Serena. I am under direct orders from Empress Alathea to make sure you are healed properly…»

«Let me out of here, Kareem!» Serena jumped up and bared her teeth. «I feel like a cornered animal!»

«I’m afraid it is impossible until your wounds heal.» the Alpha level medic stood his ground.

The woman growled and punched one of the glass doors that led outside. The tough glass cracked, giving under her punch, but didn’t shatter.

«That was unnecessary, Lady Serena.» Kareem said calmly, even though was genuinely surprised that the glass even cracked – it was made to sustain excessive force, and his patient was still going through recovery.

The woman clenched her fists and gritted her teeth once more, growling:

«I’ll heal just fine back on my ship, Kareem! Do what you need, but I have to leave. The sooner, the better!»

The Alpha level medic took a deep breath, considering his options and cautiously stepped closer to her, watching her furious face:

«Lady Serena, you must understand the pressure on my shoulders, having had direct orders from the Empress to make sure you have recovered.» he said. «And while I understand your wish to return to somewhere you feel more comfortable, I am bound by my loyalty to the Empress.»

Serena felt her hands beginning to tremble:

«And what are you suggesting I do? I can’t remain here, like…» her voice cracked and she fell silent.

«Allow me to do my job to the best of my abilities.» Kareem noticed her body shivering. «And while the medications help your body heal, I do need to address one thing that’s bothering me, Lady Serena…»

«And what’s that?» the woman grimaced.

«With all due respect, I see you are experiencing symptoms of psychological trauma that needs to be addressed before you can be discharged from my care.» Kareem nodded to her trembling hands. «Rest assured, this will stay between us, as I am bound by my oath…»

Serena swallowed hard, glancing down at her hands, and realised that even if he wouldn’t have had noticed her shivering, he definitely saw her lashing out, which too was somewhat of a symptom of her mental state.

«You won’t let this slide, will you?» Serena asked, feeling her legs becoming weak.

She stepped to the chair and slowly sat down, admitting defeat.

«I wish you only the best, Lady Serena. After all, you are the hero of all Velutha and the Laithorian Empire.» the man sat down next to her, catching her gaze. «If you wish to leave the Hospital as soon as possible, I must be sure that you are strong and healthy. While your injuries have somewhat healed, you are still far from being in your best shape. To let you go, I would need to be sure your body recovered at least 90% of the injuries you’ve sustained.»

«How much do I have now?»

«I’d say… by the current scans you are almost 70% healed.» Kareem smiled. «Which, in itself, is a miracle.»

«Is that why I’m still feeling bursts of pain in my back at night?» Serena saw the smile fading from his face and felt she touched the topic she didn’t want to.

«The helper bot reported you waking up at night several times…» the medic tilted his head aside. «Would you be willing to tell me if you had any dreams that preceded each awakening?»

Serena felt a painful shudder running down her back and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath to push down the aching.

«I wouldn’t say that…» she exhaled, looking at Kareem again. «I don’t exactly… see dreams before waking up. I just…»

The medic frowned a little:

«Don’t worry about telling me something you think might hinder my utmost respect for you, Lady Serena. I am a professional and understand that every soldier has their traumatic experiences.»

«I don’t see what happened, Kareem. I feel it. I just hear the explosion behind me and then… feel the immense pain hitting my back.» Serena swallowed hard again, lowering her eyes.

«Might I ask…» the medic watched her closely, noting her demeanour. «Do you feel anything else, except pain?»

«Like what?»

«Fear? Desperation?»

«I didn’t fear death, if that’s what you’re asking.» Serena shook her head slowly, still feeling a little stiffness and aching in the neck. «My only fear in that moment was that I wouldn’t be fast enough to shield Empress Alathea… And when I experience that moment in my… nightmares, I don’t feel fear. I don’t feel anything, but the pain that hit me.»

«Hmm…» Kareem looked aside. «Interesting…»

«I know very well I’m not right in the head, Kareem. I’ve been through enough shit and I know it impacted me a lot.» Serena grimaced.

«No, that’s not what I thought about, Lady Serena.» the medic glanced at his patient. «My thought was if your nightmares could be a result of rather the physical aspect, and not mental…»

«How so?»

«Well, your nerves are still recovering, and they might be misfiring, while your body keeps remembering the pain caused by that explosion. This doesn’t mean this won’t pass once your body fully heals.»

«Is there any way we could know for sure if this is… physical or mental?»

«I cannot allow you to go through memory extraction to see if the dreams you are having are causing it, but…» he raised his palm, silencing Serena, when she was about to object. «I can set up a thorough neurological scan tonight to see what comes first – the pain or the nightmare…»

Serena didn’t answer, but felt that it was the best option – given the opportunity to make sure what was the real cause of her waking up so much every night.

«Additionally…» Kareem smiled gently. «I would advise you to start some physical therapy to help your body in recovering. Will that be something you would be open to? This will help you get back into shape quicker and will be an additional plus on the list of your progress.»

«If this will help me get out of here faster, fine!» Serena sighed, trying hard not to snap at the medic again.

«Good.» the man seemed pleased. «I’ll organize everything.»