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Sign 6. Is not dependent on praise

The Essence

This is the ability to do what you think is right without needing constant approval and pats on the back from others. Praise is pleasant, but it doesn’t become the fuel without which you stall. You know your worth not because someone said “good job,” but because you define it yourself.

Dependence on praise is a trap, the flip side of dependence on judgment. If you chase every “good,” you’re just as sensitive to every “bad.” Freedom comes when you stop being a puppet of others’ evaluations — both negative and positive.

Why This Matters

— As long as you depend on praise, you become convenient: you’re easy to manipulate by promising approval or threatening to withhold it.

— You spend colossal energy trying to “earn” praise instead of doing what you need to do.

— You start avoiding actions that might not get approval, even if they’re important.

— Without external praise, you feel emptiness, insecurity, “I’m not good enough.”

— Freedom from praise is a sign that you’ve become an adult for yourself.

How to Apply It in Life

Step 1. Notice the moment “I’m waiting for praise”

Notice when you’ve done something and are waiting for someone to evaluate it. That’s normal, but it’s important to see: you’ve already done the deed. The action itself is already a result. If praise comes — nice. If not — your life doesn’t get worse.

Step 2. Separate “need” from “nice”

Praise is nice. But it’s not a necessity. You don’t need approval to live, breathe, do your work, love your family. Ask: “Am I doing this because I need it / it’s important / it interests me? Or because I want to be praised?”

Step 3. Become your own main audience

After you’ve done something (even a small thing), tell yourself: “I did it. It wasn’t easy. I’m proud of myself.” Don’t wait for someone else to say it. Praise yourself. That’s not arrogance, it’s mature self-support.

Step 4. Practice doing without announcing it

Try doing something useful, important, interesting — and not telling anyone about it. Don’t post it on social media, don’t wait for comments. Just you and your action. Feel what it’s like to be an author without an audience.

Step 5. Accept that the value of your actions isn’t equal to the number of likes

Your contribution, your work, your growth have value in themselves, regardless of whether others notice it or not.

Example

— Before: You cook dinner. You wait for your spouse/mom to praise you. You don’t get it — you get upset, ruin the evening for yourself and others. Or you post a photo of the food online, check likes, get upset if there are few.

— After: You cook dinner because you wanted to eat well and take care of your loved ones. You did a good job. Praised — nice, not — oh well. You know the dinner turned out well, and that’s enough.

What Regular Practice Will Give You

— You stop being a hostage to others’ approval.

— Your mood stops jumping in sync with praise and neglect.

— You start choosing activities based on your own interests and goals, not expected praise.

— You develop inner stability: it’s harder to derail you by a lack of applause.

The Main Point

Independence from praise isn’t about “not caring about anyone.” It’s about praise becoming a sweet addition, not the only food. You do what you think is right because it’s your choice, your life, your values. Others’ approval is a nice bonus, but not the fuel without which you stall.