Читать книгу Don't Forget the Pepper Spray (Second Edition) - Kristen Marie - Страница 7

Fate can be cruel.

My best friend Mike and I were big club hoppers back in the day. Mike was a cool cat: 6’4”, 215-pounds, dark as midnight, and smoother than James Bond on his best day. Before attacking the nightlife, I’d always wait on Mike because he’d never leave his apartment until his high-top fade was perfect and designer gear spotless.

As usual on our nights out, Mike scooped up a female’s phone number in minutes after some hardcore “booty-shakin’. She was fine, too--a near dime piece, as they say. Full lips, dark eyes, skin the color of Cappuccino. It must have been Mike’s lucky night because she was from Texas—a long horn just like him. That put the cherry on top.

I’ll call her Dana.

I hooked up with her okay-looking friend, and have to admit I was a little jealous of Mike. Then as the night wound down and it was time to go our separate ways, Dana gave Mike a sloppy goodnight kiss. Lucky bastard. I got nothing.

We made plans to meet at TGIF’s the next Friday. As usual, I was ready, but “Billy Dee Williams” still had to touch himself up before transforming into a freak of the night. We later picked up the women at Dana’s apartment and headed to TGIF’s. We found seats, ordered food, and conversed, just having a good ol’ time. Out of nowhere, Dana asked Mike his last name.

Mike replied. His name is unique. I’d never known anybody with it besides him.

Dana’s mouth dropped. Before Mike said another word,

Dana said, “What’s up, cuz?”

She repeated the same name. For the first time, Mike’s cool composure crumbled. He went from Billy Dee to “Silly Me” because fate definitely slapped the joke on him. I’d never laughed so hard.

Mike and Dana quickly made phone calls. We later found out Mike had a new second cousin.

Crazy to think of all the conversations Mike and I had after meeting the ladies the first night, spilling our machismo, talking about what we would like to do with the ladies when the mood was right. Not anymore…well at least, not for Mike and Dana. Incest is so not cool.

Good thing Mike didn’t tongue-kiss her.