Читать книгу The Son He Never Knew - KRISTI GOLD - Страница 8

HE WAS THE LAST PERSON she expected to see at her dorm room doorstep.

As soon as the initial shock disappeared, Jessica Keller squealed with delight, hurled herself into Chase Reed’s arms and hugged him hard. But when his frame went stiff as steel, she stepped back to assess her best friend’s mood.

In the eight months since she’d seen him, he hadn’t changed at all, at least when it came to his appearance. He still wore his golden hair in close-cropped military style, still wore sand-colored camouflage fatigues and heavy boots. Six-feet-three-inches of prime fourth-generation soldier, exactly what he’d always wanted to be and now was. Yet something in his brown eyes seemed different, maybe a little more intense, but definitely different. Then again, after the Towers fell three months ago, the whole world had changed forever.

“What are you doing here this time of night?” she asked when he failed to speak or smile.

“We have to talk.”

Chase sounded so serious, Jess’s anxiety took a major leap right behind her imagination. “Is something wrong with Mom and Dad? Your mom and dad? Or is it—”

“Calm down, Jess,” he said in the reassuring tone she’d grown to expect and sometimes resent. “Everyone’s fine. If you’ll let me in, I’ll explain.” He leaned to his right and looked behind her. “Unless I’m interrupting.”

She frowned at his assumption. “My roommate’s already gone home for the holidays, so there’s no one here but little old me.”

“Are you sure you’re not hiding your boyfriend in the closet?” Chase followed the query with a visual sweep down her body and back up again, much the same as she’d done to him a few minutes earlier.

A second passed before Jess realized why he might think he’d intruded on an intimate interlude. She’d answered the door wearing a tattered white terry robe, her favorite furry pink slippers and not much else.

She twisted her damp hair in a knot at her neck and sent him a dirty look. “I finished a shift at the coffee shop an hour ago and I just took a shower, so get your mind out of the sewer. Besides, the university doesn’t take too kindly to boys visiting girls in their rooms after 9:00 p.m.”

He looked totally skeptical. “You mean to tell me Dalton hasn’t been up here after hours?”

Her long-time boyfriend happened to be a sore subject she didn’t care to discuss with Chase, especially under the current circumstances. “Let’s leave him out of this, okay?”

“Not a problem. He’s my least favorite topic of conversation anyway. And if you’re worried about breaking the rules, we can go somewhere else to talk.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Chase,” she said. “It’s almost eleven, it’s cold outside and my hair’s wet. Besides, the place is pretty much cleared out. However, if you’d called me in advance, I could have saved you the trip. I planned to be back in Placid tomorrow after work.”

“This couldn’t wait until tomorrow.”

In order to unravel the mystery, Jess stepped aside and made a sweeping gesture with one arm. “Welcome to my humble abode, heavy emphasis on humble.”

Chase breezed past her and after Jess closed the door, she turned to find that he made her tiny room seem even tinier. She tightened the robe’s sash, feeling somewhat naked even though she was sufficiently covered. “Now tell me what couldn’t wait until tomorrow, Mr. Army Man.”

Chase strolled between the two twin beds and picked up a photo of Dalton from the nightstand. “Where’s the demon tonight?”

The “pet” name Chase had given her high school sweetheart grated on Jess’s nerves. “I have no idea where he is because right now we’re taking a break.”

His gaze snapped to hers. “Permanent break, I hope.”

She wasn’t the least bit surprised by his comment. Chase and Dalton had been embroiled in one-upmanship since elementary school. “Right now I don’t know what’s going to happen.”

His scowl returned. “So you didn’t get engaged?”

Suddenly it became all too clear to her why Chase had shown up unannounced. “You’ve been talking to Rachel.”

He set the frame down carefully though he looked as if he wanted to hurl it. “Yeah. I ran into her yesterday at the diner. She told me the Big D proposed and I figured since she’s his sister, she should know.”

Dalton had done more than simply propose. He’d offered to whisk her away to Vegas over the Christmas holidays for a quickie wedding. She opted to keep that little tidbit to herself. “I told him I wasn’t sure I was ready to get married, and he said to let him know when I made up my mind. In the meantime, he doesn’t want to see me.”

Chase gave her a champion smirk. “You mean he’s blackmailing you into saying yes.”

Jess gritted her teeth and spoke through them. “Would you cut him some slack, Chase? We’re not kids anymore and this whole competition thing between you and Dalton is getting old.”

“Maybe we aren’t kids, but my guess is Dalton hasn’t changed, Jess. You haven’t always seen the side of him that we have.”

We as in him. Same song, fiftieth verse. “I know Dalton better than anyone. I also know he’d never do anything to hurt me.”

He stared at the ceiling for a moment before bringing his attention back to her. “Fine. I’ll drop it for now. But I need you to promise me something.”

Jess hugged her arms close to her middle. “That depends on the promise.”

“First, I want you to sit.” He dropped down on the edge of her bed and patted the space beside him.

Jess claimed the spot and prepared for a promise she wasn’t certain she wanted to hear, much less make, especially if it involved Dalton. “I’m all ears, so talk.”

Chase studied the industrial tile beneath his boots. “Promise me you won’t do anything stupid. I can’t leave here tonight unless I know you’re going to be okay.”

She found his sullen attitude disturbing. “I’m not going to do anything stupid.”

Finally he looked at her. “Are you sure? You’ve always been a jumper first and a thinker later.”

She rolled her eyes at his dig over her impulsive nature. “Yes, I’m sure. If you don’t believe me, then I guess you’ll just have to wait and see if I have a ring on my finger Christmas morning.”

His gaze slid away again. “I won’t be here on Christmas.”

“Let me guess. You and the guys are going on your annual hunting trip, leaving the women home for the holidays to fend for themselves. That must thrill your mother—”

“I received my orders today to head back to the base in the morning.”

Jess swallowed hard to clear the fear from her throat. “Why so soon?”

He took her hands into his and shifted to face her. “I’m shipping out tomorrow night.”

“To where?” She worried she already knew the answer.

“Afghanistan.”

The word sounded like a gunshot in the small space and Jess felt it land straight in her heart. She yanked away from his grasp and came to her feet to face him. “You can’t go, Chase. You have to find some way not to go.”

“I have to go, Jess,” he said. “I don’t have a choice, and even if I did, I’d still go.”

She was caught somewhere between panic and fury. “What are you going to do over there?”

“That’s classified.”

“You mean dangerous,” she said as she sat on the opposite bed.

“Look, Jess, I’ve been training for almost three years to serve my country, just like my father and his father—”

“And your great-grandfather,” she interjected. “I know the story.” And she did—that story and several others pertaining to war. She recalled how her dad used to speak in an almost reverent tone about the boys who went to Vietnam and never came back. About how he’d been lucky to survive. Still, she’d never really understood the sacrifice her father and so many others had made…until now.

Chase raked a hand over his jaw and sighed. “You don’t have to worry about me, Jess. I’m a damn good soldier.”

Of course he was. He’d always been good at everything, from sports to school and reportedly sex—if she chose to put stock in the rumors spread over at least three counties. All that aside, when they were growing up, he’d been consumed by video games involving battles and espionage. But this wasn’t a game. Not even close.

She couldn’t seem to control the need to lash out. “Great. Go be a soldier. Forget about your family and all the people who love you.”

“I won’t forget you,” he said quietly. “And I can’t forget that it’s my duty to keep you and my family safe.”

Jess wanted to scream, to bargain, to beg him to stay. But all the pleading in the world would be futile. She couldn’t change his mind and in reality, she wouldn’t want him to be anything less than he was—her hero. He always had been.

As her anger began to dissolve and the sorrow set in, Jess lowered her face in her hands and sobbed from abject fear. Fear for him. Fear for herself.

Chase joined her and pulled her close to his side, holding her tightly while she dampened the front of his field jacket with her tears. They stayed that way for a time until she felt composed enough to speak. “What am I going to do while you’re off battling the bad guys, Chase?”

He thumbed away a tear from her cheek. “You’re going to go on with your life as usual, just like you have since I signed up for this gig after graduation.”

She leaned over and grabbed a tissue from the box on the nightstand. “Just so you know, if you die, I’m going to have to kill you. You have to come back and get married and make a bunch of little Chases.”

He released a cynical laugh. “You know I’m not the settling down kind, Jess.”

She’d heard him say that more than once. “You might change your mind when you get over there, Chase. You might even wish you had a girlfriend back home waiting for you.”

He took her right hand and laced their fingers together. “Just knowing I have your support is enough. You can send me an email every now and then.”

She tried to smile but it fell flat. “I’m going to write you the old-fashioned way, with a pen and paper. I’ll make sure you know all the trashy gossip from home. Heaven knows someone’s bound to do something newsworthy sooner or later.”

“As long as it’s not you.”

“I’ll try not to run naked through the town square.”

He grinned, flashing his to-die-for dimples that had dropped many a woman in their tracks. “I’ll get you an address as soon as I have it. Feel free to send me some of your mom’s oatmeal raisin cookies, too.”

“I’ll make the cookies.”

“I thought you didn’t want me to die.”

She sent him her best sneer. “I take back every nice thing I’ve ever said about you, Chase Reed.”

“You know you love me, Gertrude.” He followed the use of her horrid middle name with a winning grin.

She’d forgive him anything tonight. She’d also carry the image of that smile close to her heart until he came back home again. “And you’re going to miss me.”

His features turned somber again. “Yeah, I am. Just don’t forget me while I’m gone.”

How could she ever forget him or what they’d meant to each other for most of their lives?

Chase pulled her into a bear hug and when he released her, Jess resisted the urge to cling to him. “What time does your bus leave?”

He took a glance at his watch. “6:00 a.m. sharp.”

She saw an opportunity and went for it. “Do you mind staying a little while longer? Just another hour or two. We can watch some corny sitcom and make up our own lines, which no doubt will be much funnier.” Anything to spend a little more time in his presence, until Jess was ready to let him go. Like she’d ever be ready to let him go.

Chase hesitated a moment. “I have to get Dad’s truck back to him and I really need some sleep. Haven’t had a whole lot of that lately.”

Jess suspected she’d be in the same boat after he left. “You can take a nap before you head back.”

“I don’t know, Jess. If I fell asleep, I might not wake up in time to catch the bus.”

All the more reason for him to stay. “I’ll make sure you don’t sleep that long. Besides, you can’t march in here, announce you’re about to head off to a war zone and then just leave me all by myself to deal with it.”

Jess could tell by his expression she’d worn him down. She confirmed that when he said, “Okay, but only an hour or so.”

“Great.” She hopped onto her bed, scooted as close to the wall as she could to reserve a place for him. “Take off your shoes and stay a while, sailor.”

“I’m not a sailor,” he grumbled as he unlaced his boots and then toed out of them. “U.S. Army, Special Forces, and don’t forget it.”

Not much chance in that, thanks to the obvious reminders.

After Chase settled in beside her, Jess flipped on the TV with the remote and chose an ancient rerun. He slid his arm beneath her shoulder, she rested her cheek against his chest, like they’d done a thousand times before.

A span of silence passed before Jess said, “I wish we could go back to those summers when we used to hang out at the pond. We had some great times.”

“Before you started dating the jerk,” he muttered.

“He’s really a good guy, Chase.”

He kept his gaze fixed on the ceiling. “Being born to a father who owns half the state of Mississippi doesn’t make him a good guy.”

“And being rich doesn’t make him bad, either.”

He nailed her with a serious stare. “Are you going to marry him, Jess?”

She’d asked herself that question many times during the month she and Dalton had been apart. So far, no solid answer. “I could do worse.”

“You could do better.”

“He’s going to take good care of me, Chase. He’ll make sure I have a great life.”

“Sounds to me like you’ve made up your mind.”

Not exactly. “If I do decide to go through with it, I’ll wait until you’re home so you can be my man of honor.”

His frown returned. “Thanks, but no thanks. I don’t see myself being front and center when I believe you’ll be making the biggest mistake of your life.”

That stung Jess to the core. “I wish you’d give me some credit. I’m not a complete airhead.”

He shifted to his side and surveyed her face. “I just want you to be happy, Jess. I want to leave here knowing you’re going to have a solid future with someone who deserves you.” He sounded and looked so sincere, so sweet, that Jess started to cry again.

Chase held her securely in his strong arms. “It’s going to be okay,” he told her in a soft, even tone.

“Nothing’s okay,” she said. “It won’t ever be okay if you go.”

He pressed a kiss on her forehead, brushed a kiss across one cheek, then the other. “I’ll be back. I promise.”

“You better.”

As the time ticked away, they simply stared at each other, caught in a place they’d never been before. And then in one unexpected, defining moment, Chase kissed Jess on the lips. Not an innocent kiss. A deep, insistent kiss that made her head spin out of control.

In all the years they’d known each other—practically since birth—not once had they ever ventured beyond a platonic bond. Not once had Chase ever made a move on her. For years Jess had told herself she’d never wanted more from him. She’d rejected the fantasies that crept in on occasion as she wondered what it would be like to kiss him. What it would be like if he saw her as a woman, not a surrogate sister.

Chase tipped his forehead against hers. “Tell me to leave, Jess.”

That was the last thing she planned to tell him. “I want you to stay.” And she did, right or wrong.

He framed her face in his palms, forced her to look right into his eyes. “If I don’t go, I don’t know what might happen. Right now I just need…”

“To be with someone,” she finished for him, knowing she risked becoming only another of his meaningless hook-ups if she let this continue. But she couldn’t—wouldn’t—let the chance go by, consequences be damned. “You need to feel alive, Chase, and I need that, too. Whatever happens from this point forward, nothing will change between us. We’ll still be friends and no one will have to know.”

“But I’ll know, Jess. And I can’t give you—”

Jess pressed a fingertip against his lips to silence him. “You’ve given me more than you know.” She lifted her finger and pressed her lips against his. “Now no more talk.” She took his hand and slid it beneath the robe’s opening above her breasts. “Just touch.”

That seemed to unleash something in Chase, something uncontrolled but unbelievably sexy as he skimmed his palms down her body. Somehow she’d managed to bring them past the turn-back point, but she honestly didn’t care. She only cared about the prospect of being with him completely.

Maybe this was the reason she’d held back committing to Dalton. Maybe subconsciously she’d always loved Chase a little more than she’d cared to admit. More than the way he loved her as a friend.

Regardless, this could be the last opportunity to know what she’d been missing. The last chance to explore the feelings for Chase that had suddenly surfaced. Possibly the last time she ever saw him again.

She’d been caught between two men for years—the one who treated her like a queen, and the one who’d viewed her as only a best friend. The one who could give her the world, and the other who could only give her this one night.

She wanted this one night…even if it proved to be a life-altering mistake.