Читать книгу The Friday Night Debrief - Kylie Jane Asmus - Страница 10
ОглавлениеHave A Go
Part of Kylie’s job was to pick up bread and milk for the team at the Port Office. She normally fit it in with her lunch break and the regular mail pickups from Head Office which was located four kilometres away in the Townsville CBD. After the loneliest weekend she had ever experienced, Kylie was determined to do something proactive. The first step was to check the notice boards at Woolworths when she dropped in for bread and milk. As she scanned the board, a short lady with short coppery hair, reached up to pin a new flyer on the noticeboard.
“Are you interested in coming down for a practice session?” asked the woman, who was wearing a Woolworths uniform.
“Oh, maybe?” Kylie answered, taking note of the woman’s fit and athletic build.
“Here, take some flyers, I have a couple spare, take them to work, see if anyone is interested in coming down?”
“Okay thanks. What is it exactly, this...Out Rigging?”
“Oh, it’s a Hawaiian style canoe that has six people in it, all sitting behind each other, and it has an armour which is a side arm that stabilises the canoe. It’s heaps of fun and very, very social!”
“Social hey? Now I’m interested!” Kylie said smiling.
“Oh yeah, when you compete in Outrigging Regattas during Racing Season we go away for the weekend, once a month for about 6–8 months. We have the best time!”
“Sounds great, but I’m not very athletic, I mean, when it comes to sport I have low expectations and I meet those expectations!” Kylie said.
The lady laughed at Kylie’s candidness. “Look we don’t play for sheep stations, there are people with various skill levels so we cater for everyone.”
“Well, that’s good. Because I have a mantra which is: Sleep in, Turn Up, See What Happens,” Kylie said.
The lady burst out laughing. “That’s classic but you may need to change the sleep in bit because as well as training in the afternoons after work, we also train on Sunday Mornings.....on the water at 5.30 am.”
“Flamin’ WHEN?” Kylie said.
“5.30 am on the water, so we meet at 5.15 am. You might need to invest in an alarm clock but believe me, it will be worth it!”
“Righto. Wow, that’s rude! I know I can get up that early, I get up for work at 4.30 am sometimes.” While Kylie was learning how to operate the Ship loader, her additional shifts started at 5.30 for 6:00 am dirt on board the vessel.
“There you go! This is way more enjoyable! Plus you get to see the sunrise over the water. It’s absolutely magic!” she said emphasising the glory of watching the ocean sunrise with her hands.
“Righto. Thanks, I’ll have a good think about it.”
“Oh, I nearly forgot. I’m Shooters.”
“Pow Pow,” Kylie said with her fingers imitating pistols. “I’m just Kylie.”
“I’m sure there’s more to you than Just Kylie. Hopefully we’ll see you at training and find out Just, what it is!” she said. “I’ve got to get back to work but come down after work by 5.15 pm on a Monday or a Wednesday. On the beach out the front of the Watermark on the Strand. Okay?” she said walking off backwards to remain in eye contact.
“Righto,” Kylie replied. “I’ll have a go, see what happens!”
“Yeah, That’s the spirit, come down and have a go,” Shooters said as she slipped back behind her counter.
“Rogerhhh,” Kylie said to herself, folding up the flyers and putting them in her handbag. She grabbed a trolley and quickly stacked it with the items she needed for work, paid for them using the company card and then headed towards the Town Office to pick up the mail.
As there were no other females working at the Port Office, Kylie took every opportunity to get to know the people in the Town office. She would walk around the open plan set up to say hello to the other employees, crack jokes and ask them how their day was going, what they had planned for the weekend and general questions that showed she was interested in finding out more about them. She found that people always enjoyed talking about themselves and even if it was a short chat that only focused on them she always left feeling energised after engaging with other people. She was also hoping to find a female friend she could call on after the work day was over to share a coffee or a movie with. Unfortunately she hadn’t cracked the friend market as yet and was still heavily reliant on the E.T. stance of religiously desiring to ‘phone home’ each night to stay connected to her lifelong mates and her family.
“Ah Kylie, when you are free, I’d like to see you for a moment please,” her boss said as he walked past.
“Uh-oh,” said Kylie playfully.
“Oh it’s nothing bad, I would like to introduce you to someone.”
“Is it a good looking man who is single and looking for a Capricorn who likes walks on the beach, romantic dinners, holding hands and girls who talk ALOT!”
“Noooo. She is not.”
“She?” Kylie said. “I’m looking for a husband, not a wife!”
He laughed. “I’ll be at my desk. Come over when you’re ready!”
Kylie looked at the people she was talking to and said, “I’ve gotta act like a banana.....and spuh-lit! Toodles” and she walked off following her boss.
As she walked into his office she saw a lady sitting down with her back to her. She had lovely thick shiny brown hair that rested in the middle of her back and she looked like a very tidy little package from where Kylie was standing. Kylie was one trillion percent heterosexual but her lack of ability to engage brain before opening mouth resulted in filter-less and blatantly honest commentary when she encountered beautiful people – male or female. She worked on the principle that any compliment toward another person would always be welcomed. It never occurred to her that others might question her preference of schlong versus skirt after a simple verbal observation.
“Kylie, I would like to introduce you to Mila, our new Marketing Assistant,” her boss said, extending his arm towards the lady sitting in the chair, who then stood up and spun around to face Kylie and him.
“Far out, how hot are you?” Kylie said without thinking. “I mean, in a non-sexual way, you know, womano to womano” Kylie was now blushing.
Mila – pronounced Mill-lah – was startled by the comment and a little embarrassed. She outstretched her lovely tanned right arm to gently shake Kylie’s right hand.
“Thanks, I think. Kylie is it?” Mila said.
“Yep. Or you can just call me by my Indian name “One with Foot In Mouth.” Kylie laughed at her own joke. So did her boss.
It was a lot for Mila to take in. Clearly, she wasn’t sure how to take Kylie and managed a half-hearted smile in response.
Kylie hadn’t seen anyone like Mila before in her life. This bird was magnificent. She had the most gorgeous brown eyes Kylie had ever seen, a body so smokin’ the fire brigade should have been called to put it out and she stood taller than Kylie, who was no shorty herself.
“So baby, How’d you get your name? Like from the Cheese or what?” Kylie asked.
“What do you mean from the cheese?” Mila asked dumbfounded.
“Milla Milla Cheese from the town on the Atherton Tablelands, Milla Milla? M-I-L-L-A. It’s a brand of dairy products. I’m not taking the piss. Don’t mind me.”
“Oh, my name has only one “L” in it, and we don’t have that brand in Mackay, we have Coooooon,” she said like they do in the television advertisement when they pose for the camera, instead of saying cheese.
“Ha ha , that’s funny. I like that. So are you from Mackay then? How old are you? How tall are you?”
“Yes, like I said, I am from Mackay, I’m 25 and I’m 175 cm tall. What about you?” she asked turning the interrogation back on Kylie.
“I’m 172 cm, 27 and I’m from Mount Isa!” Kylie replied.
“Mount Isa!” Mila repeated with a knowing tone in her voice, her eyebrows lifting a bit.
“Yep,” Kylie said waiting for the tag and pointing each hand with pistol fingers at her but not firing them.
“That explains a lot!” her boss jumped in.
Kylie shot him with her imaginary pistols instead, and then went straight into imitating a drummer. “Ba-boom-chish.”
Kylie could not stop staring at Mila. “Ain’t no-one as purdy as you out in Mount Isa baby!” Kylie said to Mila in a hillbilly voice.
“I doubt that, you look alright,” she said.
Kylie laughed an “I don’t think so” laugh and asked, “So are you fresh out of Uni or what?”
“No, I’ve been working for BMA in Mackay. I transferred up here for a change of scenery.”
“Oh. Right. Yeah I moved over for my job here as well, so do you have any mates in Townsville?” Kylie asked.
“Nope,” she said.
“Cool! Wanna hang out with me? I’ll look up to you! Not just coz you’re taller and everything!”
“Mmmm,” she said indecisively, not committing to anything.
“Oh, okay, fair enough. Ahhh, well… Righto, well, I just picked up this flyer from Woolies and I was thinking about going down and having a go at it,” she said handing the spare flyer to Mila.
“Outrigging?” she said, “I’ve never heard of that.”
“Google it baby, let me know if you’re keen. For that, or anything, you know? Kor-fee? Tea? Me?”
Mila seemed uninterested in committing to anything further and Kylie could see there was no love coming from her so she didn’t force the issue and let Mila get back to work.
“Okay, Nice to meet you Mila,” Kylie said.
“I’ll bring Mila down to meet the crew tomorrow, Kylie. We’ll head down at 10 am if you could assemble the troops,” said Kylie’s boss.
“Oh, don’t worry, every part of them will be standing to attention,” Kylie said unashamedly waving goodbye. She wasn’t trying to be a bitch, she just knew that if she got a non-romantic woody from meeting Mila the guys she worked with would be ecstatic. Kylie walked out the back door of the office, got in the car and drove off.
Mila’s face did not hide her feelings. She looked at her boss and said, “Wow, you’d never have to wonder what she was thinking would you?”
“Kylie? Yeah, she’s very honest and vocal but she’s harmless. I thought you two might be friends?” he said.
“I don’t remember reading that in my position description” she said implying a big negatory on that.
“Oh, okay. Well you both work in the same department so give it some time and see what happens. Kylie is a lovely person. She goes out of her way for people. I just thought that since you are similar ages and both from small country towns that you would get along famously. But it’s up to you, just don’t let how you end up feeling personally about her impact your professional approach to your job,” he said.
“Oh, absolutely,” she said. After he walked away, she read the flyer in her hand and remembered what Kylie had said about having a go and decided not to make any hard and fast decisions about someone she just met. Mila put the flyer on her table and she did google it later out of curiosity but was not willing to make any commitment.
Kylie drove back to Woolies and as she walked past the noticeboard, she told herself that it was up to her to change her current friendless situation. The three simple words she had said to Shooters “Have a go”, repeatedly played in her head.
“Why don’t you, commit to doing something you wouldn’t normally do, at least once a week!” she said to herself. “Doesn’t matter if you fail at it at first, just.....Have a go! You’re on your own, you need to grow, this could help you. Have a go!”
“Hey, I’m a poet, and didn’t know it!” her inner voice said, making her outer presence smile. “Starting with this. You didn’t even think about it, but you’ve come in here, prepared to buy stuff so you can have a go at baking. That, is a tremendous start, because we both know, you suck at cooking.”
“Yep,” she answered her own inner voice out loud.
“But you’re having a go. And you’re doing it for someone else, which is a nice gesture,” her inner voice continued.
“Yep, right up until I burn the crap out of them,” she advised her inner voice out loud.
“Stay positive. You’ll be right. Read the instructions. Keep watch. Have a go. See what happens.”
“Righto. Righto. Have a go. I get it. Now buggar off, I’m busy,” she told off her inner voice, sick of the continual noise happening between her ears.
“Right, sorry. We’ll chat again later. I’ll be right here. If you need me. To talk to. Or if you’re lonely, or bored. Right here. Waiting. Whenever you’re ready.” Kylie stopped walking mid way down the cupcake aisle and said sternly aloud to her inner self, “Shut up.” It was by pure chance she was alone in the aisle because she hadn’t bothered to look around in advance to see if she had company. She stood and waited and heard silence. It worked. Carrying on, she selected several packets of cupcake mix and frosting and all the ingredients required to bake them. Finding the letters in the decorating section of the aisle, she got enough to spell out WELCOME MILA then she raced around to grab a cupcake tin, as she owned hardly any baking items. A packet of Smarties also went into the basket. The cupcakes came in a batch of twelve and the words ‘Welcome Mila’ added up to only eleven, so the last cupcake would have a smiley face on it.
When Kylie arrived back at work, the guys were in the smoko room having lunch.
“Hey, Milk lady! Do you need a hand with any more bags?” they asked.
“No, this is it thanks. Boy do I have a surprise for you lot!” she said emptying the contents into the fridge and closing the door.
“What? What’s going on? Did we win Footy tickets?” Shonky asked grinning like a little kid.
“Nope, MUCH better than that. Footy only lasts a couple of hours. This gift is ongoing!”
“What could be better than Footy?” Shonky was a staunch Cowboys fan.
“The new chick in our department. She is piping HOT!” Kylie said.
“Awesome!” they all cheered. “When are we meeting her?”
“Yeah, When, when, when, when?” Shonky said panting like a kid wanting to unwrap a Christmas present early.
“Tomorrow at 10 am. I strongly suggest ya’ll shower twice in the morning and do a double check that your fly is up we don’t want any uninvited guests turning up. She’s coming down for morning tea with the Boss.”
“Woohoo! So are we getting some donuts or a cake?” a crew member asked.
“Nope, I’m making cupcakes!” Kylie said proudly.
“You? You’re.....gonna.....cook?” Shonky said.
“Yeah Shonky, I’m gonna cook!” Kylie said walking up to him and talking directly in his face “What are you trying to say?”
“Well I hope it turns out better than your ‘no chewing required’ cheesecake!” He laughed and the other men joined in.
“Oh, yeah, that cheesecake was ordinary, Kylie,” another crew member agreed.
“Hey, I had the right product, I just didn’t have the right demographic. That cheesecake would be great for pensioners, or anyone else who no longer has teeth and has to drink their food!” Kylie said seriously then caught herself laughing. Her disastrous attempt at cooking a lemon cheesecake was only realised after she had prepared it and taken it to a welcome crew Barbeque. Everyone had brought a plate, and by that, every crew member’s wife had prepared a dish of restaurant quality. When Kylie presented her cake it looked fantastic, but when she cut it, it had the consistency of yoghurt. It hadn’t set and it required a spoon to dish it onto a plate. When it was cut, the line of the knife dissolved back into the white gooey mess and after a section had been spooned out onto a plate, the cake filled in on itself and the level dropped but it looked like a full cake again. Kylie was the only one game enough to try a ‘piece’ and despite the consistency she thoroughly enjoyed it. Shonky did test out a spoonful but no one else wanted to sample any and they all insisted she take it with her when she left. They also suggested she never bring another one like it ever again.
“It was a high viscosity dessert and I enjoyed every spoonful,” she said proudly.
“It was pretty sweet. Sickly sweet from what I can remember,” Shonky said.
“Oh yeah, it was all scha-weet, but it was all my-en!” Kylie replied.
“So you still think it’s a good idea to cook cupcakes?” Shonky asked.
“Yeah, I’ll have a go, see what happens,” Kylie said optimistically.
“Righto!” they echoed then finished their meals silently.
“Remember, 10 am tomorrow lads!” Kylie said walking out of the kitchen and back to her desk.
“Rogerhhh,” they answered in unison.
Kylie couldn’t wait to get home that afternoon. She had a purpose and it excited her to do something for someone else, especially a potential friend.
Kylie’s cupcakes were a complete success. She had paid extra attention to the instructions on the cupcake packet and made sure every measurement was true and correct. Then she had stalked the oven continually so that she would not get distracted and let them burn. The pink icing looked fantastic and after she finished decorating them with the Welcome Mila message, she put them in a Tupperware container in the fridge. She hoped that Mila would be just as impressed as she was with her efforts.
Kylie wore her favourite pink sundress and heels to work the next day instead of jeans. She wanted to celebrate another girl coming to the office and thought it would be a great opportunity to get a photo of the new team to send in to the company newsletter Candid Talk, plus also have an enlarged photo framed for their Port Office Wall. The previous evening she had booked into a hairdresser for a professional finish blow dry and had woken early in the morning, showered and accented her blue eyes with a pale pink palette and black eye shadow and highlighted her cheeks with a brush of blush. She was looking her very best. When she arrived at work even the guys were impressed.
“Wow look at you? Do you have to go to court today or something?” Shonky asked as he eyed her up and down.
“Nah, Just thought I’d frock up since we have a special guest coming today,” she said.
“Who’s that?” he asked.
“Mila – the new girl! Remember she is coming down here at 10 am? Look at my cupcakes!” she said without opening the Tupperware container in her hand.
“Is that what you call them,” Shonky said blushing and looking at her chest.
“You grub,” she said. “Look! I successfully baked cupcakes.” She held up the container and took off the lid so he could see her masterpiece!
“Wow, they look great! Nice work. I’m sure Mila will be very impressed,” he said.
“Thank you,” Kylie said, chuffed at her efforts.
“Even if they do taste like shit!” he added jokingly.
“You don’t have to have one Shonky, you won’t starve,” she said.
“No need to get personal,” he said with a frown.
“Oh, what, you can say my cupcakes taste like shit but I can’t say you look like it?”
“No, that’s mean. And it may result in me making a comment about the size of your arse.”
“Listen here, apparently my arse has been on an expansion project since I left home, since I hate cooking and may have been over indulging on takeaway, but don’t you worry about it getting any bigger coz I’m going to join a sport this week and go from Nottie to Hottie again real soon.”
“Good for you Miss Mick Man-Arse.”
She softly punched him on the shoulder then put the cupcakes in the fridge.
At 9.30 am Kylie made a reminder call on the two-way radio in a voice that sounded like a peg had been clipped on her nose, “Attention Please, this is a reminder for all those smelling of ferral-mones to have a tub and respray their desired choice of stink pretty for the arrival of the insatiable Miss Mila at 10 am. I repeat. If you are a stinken arse, get your skates on to the shower and sort yourself out! You will not be disappointed. Over.”
It was a private channel and only the six people based onsite had access to it so the banter across the airwaves could at times be very playful.
“Rogerhhhhhh,” Shonky replied over his hand-held radio, walking out from his office to Kylie’s desk as he said it. “Everyone is in the shower as we speak,” he said into the radio again, despite now standing directly in front of Kylie’s desk and eyeballing her.
“Rogerhhhhhhhhh,” she replied into the base mounted radio without breaking eye contact.
Kylie started clapping. “I hope Mila likes my cupcakes!” she said.
“I’m sure she will, they look great,” he said genuinely.
“Far out Shonk, this bird is so hot, even I got a woody when I met her!” Kylie said.
“You what?” he said putting his hand up to his mouth covering his laugh.
“I’m tellin’ ya, she is gorgeous. I can’t remember eyeballing anyone as stunning as that hot little biscuit, ever before, in mine life!”
“True! Well you’re certainly talking her up.”
“Yeah, but I don’t think she likes me. She’s not a snob or anything, I think I just might have scared her off a bit. You know? And I think she thought I called her a piece of cheese?”
“Why would you call her a piece of cheese?”
“Coz her name’s Mila? Like Milla Milla – where they make cheese up in The Atherton Tablelands. I was just name associating and I could have said Mila Gorilla but I didn’t know if she had a sense of humour and I didn’t want her goin’ Ape Shit on me if she didn’t!”
“Mila Gorilla, that’s funny.”
“That may be so, but she’s no gorilla, she’s more of a bird of paradise.”
“Don’t be too hard on yourself. I’m sure you will get along famously. In fact, I predict it!”
“Righto, Oh-seer of things into the futurer!!” Kylie said, wanting to believe.
At 10 am the crew all assembled in the kitchen and made themselves a cup of coffee and awaited the prompt arrival of their boss and the new girl. Kylie greeted their visitors at the office door with a happy hello and Mila commented on Kylie’s overnight transformation from a scrappy jeans and T-shirt houso to hair schmick, makeup done and frock on.
“Wow you look lovely,” she said.
“Well, you are our special guest so I dolled up for both of us,” Kylie replied.
“Thank you! Special guest. Wow!” Mila said. “That’s a big wrap!”
“Hi Kylie, you look nice today,” her boss said. “I don’t think I’ve seen you wear a skirt since your job interview!”
“Thanks, I don’t think it will be a habit though, I’m doing more training in the afternoons and spending a few hours in the front end loader and the ship loader.”
“Oh yeah, that’s great. How is all the training going?” he asked.
“Really good. I’m feeling more comfortable with everything. The guys have been really patient with me and are great teachers. Each person teaches me something different so I’m getting a broad look at every one’s techniques and meshing together what works best for me.”
“Good. That’s great news! Keep it up,” he said.
“Would you like to come into the smoko room Mila, the rest of the crew are in there and I can make you a cuppa if you like?” Kylie offered.
“Sure,” she said.
“Would you like tea, coffee or Milo, and how many sugars?” Kylie asked.
“White coffee please, no sugar.”
“What about milk? Leaded or unleaded?”
“Sorry?”
“Oh, it’s a work joke, since we sell Lead Concentrate, you know, full cream or light milk?”
“Oh I get it, Unleaded thanks,” Mila replied.
“Just the way I have it,” Kylie said as she walked into the smoko room.
“Guys, I’d like to introduce you to Mila, our newest team member based at Town Office. Mila these are the guys,” Kylie said and walked forward to stand next to her boss at the kitchen sink. She kept a close eye on Shonky’s face as Mila stepped through the doorway.
Mila looked confidently at the room full of adoring eyes and casually said, “G’day, I’m Mila! Not the cheese but!”
Kylie laughed, recalling the previous day’s conversation.
Shonky’s jaw dropped, his eyes widened and his hands went from his hips to cover his crotch. He was in awe. He walked towards Mila, his right hand outstretched to shake her hand, and the other hand turned her shoulder around and marched her out of the kitchen. “G’day Mila, I’m Hamilton, Why don’t we go somewhere quiet and you can tell me all about yourself?”
Everyone burst out laughing as Mila was led out of the kitchen. But Mila wasn’t having a bar of solo time with this Hamilton bloke. She did a 360-degree turn and wandered back into the kitchen in time to catch the unguarded reaction of the crew. Tongues were hanging out, hands were on faces, mouths were wide open. It was hilarious, especially when Mila walked in to witness it all for herself.
“Shonky!” the boss called out. “Take your hands off her and leave her alone.”
“I didn’t touch her inappropriately, I only shook her hand and led her out of the kitchen by her shoulder,” he said protesting his innocence and concealing himself and his crotch behind the safety of the doorframe.
“He’s alright, just don’t leave me alone with him,” Mila said to her boss, playing along.
“Okay, no worries.”
“No I mean, like, ever! Don’t leave me alone with that man, everhhhhhh,” she said laughing. She looked at Shonky and said, “Did you say your name was Hamilton or did someone call you Shonky?”
“BOTH!” the entire crew yelled out.
“How did you get a name like Hamilton?” she asked calmly.
“My folks are English and they said it’s something like ‘Born in a Town on a Mountain’.”
One of the guys jumped in and said, “Yeah, you’re lucky you escaped his clutches because he loves mountain women.”
Everyone burst out laughing and Shonky blushed.
“So how did you get the name Shonky?” she asked him, looking straight into his red face.
The boss answered for him, “He has a habit of being able to get things done, safely, but not in the traditional way and the name stuck at his last place of work on Groote Eylandt.”
“Yep. Shonky by name, shonky by nature,” he said still red faced. “But enough about me, let’s talk about you. What do you think about me?”
“I don’t think you can be trusted!” she replied.
“Ohhhhhhh!” the crew said in unison, as if Shonky had just been kicked in the balls in front of them.
“This is a rare occasion. Shonky rarely says his first name to anyone unless he is trying to impress them. Hey Shonky, do you have a middle name? I can’t remember if I asked you before?” Kylie asked as she filled the jug with water.
“Yes I have a middle name.”
“What is it?” Mila asked.
“It’s Roderick. Hamilton Roderick.”
“What the?” Kylie said. “Were your folks poshe noshe or something? Didn’t you grow up outside of Gympie?”
“It’s not Gympie, it’s Jim- Pie, makes it sound more refined. And Roderick means The Ruler, so maybe they wanted me to be the Ruler from the Mountain Town,” he said with a laugh.
Everyone else joined in and the acoustics in the kitchen nearly made the walls shake.
“Gee you kept that to yourself Hamilton.....Roderick,” one of the guys said.
“No wonder you call yourself Shonky, it’s way less dodgy than Hamilton Roderick,” Mila said.
“Wait!” Kylie said then burst out laughing. With her knees giving way as she unsuccessfully tried to contain her laughter and after shrieking and gasping for breath, she continued, “Do you know what your nickname could be from your two given names?” Still giggling, she clapped her hands with glee.
Everyone stopped talking at the sight of Kylie cackling. They couldn’t wait to hear what she had just come up with.
“No Kylie, what could my nickname be from Hamilton Roderick?” Shonky asked calmly.
“Pfft, well if you take,” she could not keep a straight face and kept having to stop herself from another thunder bolt of hooting laughter, “If you take, the first three letters of each name... ha ha ha ha, you get.......pfft, he he he”, and all she could do was clap and whisper, “Ham Rod.”
“You get Ham Rod” she tried to say again, with tears running down her face.
“What did she say?” one of the guys asked the boss.
“Ham Rod,” her boss answered loudly.
The entire room erupted into belly deep laughter, Ham Rod was the way haemorrhoid sounded when someone with a German accent said the word in English.
“No wonder you always seem to be brown nosing to the Boss Shonky! You’re a HamRod!” one of the guys said.
“Oh that’s bloody lovely isn’t it? What does the name Kylie mean?” Shonky retaliated.
“Boomerang baby, so you won’t be getting rid of me EVER, I’ll always come back around to call you by the first three letters of your Christian and Middle names!”
“Really, does you name mean boomerang? Really?” Mila asked.
“Yep. Kylie is Aboriginal for boomerang. I guess if you used the name literally and picked me up and threw me and I didn’t come back, then maybe my name would mean Stick!”
Mila laughed at Kylie’s interpretation of an old boomerang joke.
Eventually, the room quietened down and the table thumping stopped.
“Righto, the jug’s boiled, can we get the lady a drink?” Shonky said.
“It’s already happening.” Kylie made Mila a cup of coffee frothing up the milk with her battery operated whizzer and added a Milo smiley face on the top. “Here you go Mila.”
When Mila saw the smiley face, she smiled at it and then at Kylie. “Thank you.”
“Hamrod! I mean, Shonky can you get the Tupperware dish out of the fridge please?” Kylie requested.
“Sure, Shonky would love to help out. Shonky’s very helpful,” he said in the third person. “Tadaahhhhhh!” he said opening up the lid for Mila to see it.
“Oh Wow! Did you make them for me Shonky?” Mila asked impressed.
“Nope, Kylie did and she HATES cooking!” he replied.
“Oh thank you, they look awesome!” Mila said to Kylie.
“Do you mind if I get a photo of you with them? So we can keep it as a souvenir of your first time at the Port.”
“Oh this day will be etched in my mind for EVER, but sure let’s get a photo to go with the story,” Mila obliged. Kylie grabbed the camera from on top of the microwave and took a photo straight away and then asked Mila to hand out the cupcakes.
“Can I get a photo with you please?” Kylie asked.
“Sure,” Mila said, so Kylie handed the camera over to the boss.
“So how are you liking the office up there? It’s quieter than here hey!” Kylie said.
“Oh yeah, that’s for sure!” Mila said giggling as she handed out the cupcakes to the crew.
“So, what have you learnt since starting the new role?” Shonky asked.
“Well,” Mila started, and tilted her head to the side as she thought about his question. Then her eyes widened and she started to laugh. “I have learnt that what I thought was mirrored glass on the outside of the town office building, and where just prior to walking in for my job interview a few months back I took the opportunity to adjust myself and do one last check on my overall look, lipstick, legs and ladies (meaning her breasts), and adjusted all to suit, was in fact NOT mirrored glass but one-way glass. And I learnt that my future boss was on the inside of the room, watching ‘my show’ and waiting for me to come in and be interviewed. Yeah. That’s what I learnt yesterday, on my first day, at work.”
“What he told you he was perving on you? Boss! Really?” Kylie asked.
“No, I didn’t tell her I was perving on her,” the boss replied as he turned beetroot red.
“No, on my introductory tour of the building, I went in to the conference room and I could see straight through to the laneway, where I knew I had been standing. During the interview I had sat with my back to the wall so I hadn’t noticed at the time. So I hit him up about it and he just caved, didn’t you?” Mila said giving the boss’s arm a light punch.
“Yep, I told her that it didn’t lessen her chances of obtaining employment,” the boss stated.
“How come you didn’t ask me to help you interview Mila, Boss?” Shonky asked.
“Because although it was unprofessional of me not to look away from the window dressing, I thought it would be far more inappropriate to introduce a lovely young lady to a man named HamRod,” he said and so ensured the continued hijinks and laughter in the room.
The boss and Mila stayed for an hour and every person in the room was at some stage in fits of laughter. Before they departed for the Town Office, Kylie set up the camera to take a timed photo of the whole team. The girls stood at either end of the six males and no one had to yell out Cheese, Mila or Coon because the natural high they had in the smoko room translated into the best photo they had ever taken.
“So Mila, that was the Port! What did you think?” the boss asked as they drove back to the Town office.
“Wow, what a funny bunch of people,” she said. “They sound like they have a lot of fun at work.”
“Yes, yes they do. They are a mixed bag of nuts but they gel really well together and despite the carry on, they work really hard and are probably the best team I’ve ever worked with.”
“Wow, that’s quite a wrap!”
“Did you like the cupcakes?” he asked.
“Yeah they were beautiful and so yummy!”
“Kylie really, really, really hates cooking. You’re lucky she didn’t bring in a cheesecake!”
“Oh I heard about the liquid cheesecake. I am lucky. Even what she wore, she looked so different from yesterday. She went to a lot of effort.”
“I told you she would.”
“Yeah.” Mila’s voice faded and she smiled out the car window. She hadn’t experienced anything like that before in her life. The atmosphere, the honesty, the laughter, everyone taking the piss out of each other in front of each other in good natured fun. She already knew she fitted in and that this was the right job for her. Now all she needed was to make some friends. She just wasn’t convinced that one of them was going to be Kylie.
