Читать книгу The Dare Collection: June 2018 - Lauren Hawkeye - Страница 17

CHAPTER EIGHT

THE FOLLOWING SATURDAY night Ash emerged from The Yard’s offices to find the bar awash with smart, glamorous opening-night customers. Cocktails and good times flowed. Essie and Josh had organised a happy hour to bring in office workers, and the online social media buzz she’d created had ensured it was standing room only. Their brand-new cocktail menu was inscribed in elegant script on the oversized contemporary chalkboard behind the bar. Every glass sparkled. The bar’s state-of-the-art lighting created pockets of ambience, certain nooks and crannies of the chic space becoming intimate, dimly lit corners.

But instead of the satisfaction he’d anticipated, his body was strung taut, every muscle twitchy. Ash scanned the bar for Essie. He knew she wore the same slinky black dress she’d had on at La Voute a week ago, because just before they’d opened The Yard’s door for the first time, she’d strode into his office with that slightly feral gleam in her eyes, locked the door behind her and perched her delectable derrière on his desk.

When she’d slowly bared her thighs, revealing that she’d removed her underwear, he’d been powerless to resist what had followed—him fucking her on his desk, a new experience she’d requested with a cheeky, ‘For luck...?’

The restlessness dissipated as he recalled the past week of fantastic sex. They’d spent practically every spare minute screwing—starting with the flight back from Paris to London, where she’d ridden him in one of the wide leather seats at thirty-thousand feet, successfully earning herself a mile-high experience, and continuing at work, at his apartment and anywhere else they could get away with. The intense, couldn’t-keep-their-hands-off-each-other phase was lasting well beyond the arbitrary time limit he’d set. Any day now, he expected the bubble to burst, the novelty to wear off, the fun to end and his life to return to normality.

But the desire was far from abating and Ash found himself in new territory.

Perhaps the out-of-body feelings rattling him were a symptom of having allowed the insatiable, enthusiastic Essie too much time in the driving seat? Time to wrestle back some of the control, dictate the...fun, suggest the next experience. His mind whirred with endless pornographic possibilities. Yes, that was just the right tactic to steer things back on track.

He spotted her at the far end of the bar and discreetly adjusted himself. She still carried the radiant glow her earlier orgasm had delivered to her translucent skin. She’d retamed her hair, twisting it into some messy topknot that left only a few wisps tickling her elegant neck. Just knowing that the halter dress she wore prevented her wearing a bra, and that her perfect tits were bare under the scrap of silk, flooded his groin with fresh heat. Heat that should have dissipated after their quick but thoroughly satisfying desk session. But no. It was as if the more he had, the more he knew about her, the more he wanted.

A very dangerous combination.

Ash set off towards the object of his disgruntlement, weaving his way through the throng. She chatted with Josh, who smiled at her and touched her arm. Essie laughed at something he said as she leaned close to speak over the general din of a hundred conversations and the vibratingly loud music.

Ash pressed his lips together and swallowed down the taste of acid. ‘Fucking fantastic...’

A thump to his shoulder pitched him off balance.

‘Go easy on her, man,’ said Ben, who’d sneaked up behind him. Ben grinned at his friend and then looked at Essie, an indulgent smile playing on his mouth.

Ash slapped Ben’s shoulder in greeting, his own shoulders cramping with the tension of lusting after Ben’s sister. Add to that the very foreign stabbing pain under his ribs as he watched Josh and Essie together... He needed a lie-down and it was only eight thirty.

‘She can’t help helping people—it’s who she is.’ Ben stared at the couple chatting as if he was as enamoured as Ash, although likely in a different way.

He nodded as he flicked his gaze back to where she conversed with Josh. He could just imagine the kind of help the hipster barman wanted.

He’d developed quite an insight into Essie’s magnificent, multifaceted personality. She was so different—different from him, a cynical, cut-throat lawyer with a reputation of being just like his ruthless old man; from most people he knew—out for themselves, inward-looking, selfish; and from any other woman of his experience, which was probably why he struggled to put a stop to their sex spree.

She was too good for him. Too good for her spineless ex and her careless father, too.

She laughed with Josh, her head tilting towards him in that way that made a person feel she was truly listening.

Fuck. He would hurt her when this ended. Yes, she’d said what he’d wanted to hear, but his instincts about her had been correct—Essie was a relationship kind of girl. She’d just lost her confidence at the hands of the worthless men in her life.

Ben loosened his tie. ‘Josh is having boyfriend trouble,’ he said. ‘Essie can’t resist a distress signal.’

Ash grinned, his head now so light it practically lifted off his shoulders.

Josh was gay.

As soon as he’d registered the relief pouring through him, it morphed into something else, something not unlike the itch of head-to-toe poison oak. What place did jealousy have in his orderly, controlled life? What place did any feelings have where Essie was concerned? She wasn’t his—because that was the way he wanted it. Insisted on it. Made crystal clear from the outset. Why, then, did his insistence sound entirely self-directed?

‘Hey, can you grab her? I have something I want to say to both of you.’ Ben tilted his head to indicate the cordoned-off stairs leading to the basement dance club, which was quiet for now, but would soon be heaving with partygoers, if their ticket sales were any indication.

‘Sure.’

Ash resumed his way across the bar to Essie, the idea of ending things tonight forming in his mind. Halfway there, she spotted him and he rebelled against the idea with a violent mind spew.

Whatever she’d been saying to Josh stalled on her lips, which hung a little open as she levelled her wide stare on an approaching Ash. Fire licked his balls. He’d come inside her not two hours ago. And already he wanted her again. She could do that to him with her open smile or her ready, but dirty, laugh. Even her irritating fun facts lent her an irresistible and refreshing air you couldn’t help but adore.

He skirted around her and bent low from behind to speak in her ear—it was a club after all, the noise levels rendering that perfectly acceptable.

‘Ben wants to see us downstairs.’ A satisfying trill of shivers passed down her neck. Oh, yes, she battled the same hunger raging in him. Thank fuck he wasn’t alone. Because that hunger was the only thing keeping him on an even keel.

Just sex—his rule.

Just fun—her rule.

He swallowed the panic and pressed his mouth to her ear. ‘And I want to see you naked and splayed open for me,’ he whispered. That would give her something to ruin those lacy thongs she wore, probably for his torment.

She tilted her hips and pressed her ass up against his groin, at the same time as leaning forward across the bar to tell Josh she’d talk to him later.

Not if he had anything to do with it—she’d be too busy coming around the cock she’d just flicked back to life with her sassy stunt. She knew exactly what she was doing, but payback would be fun.

He put his hand in the small of her back where the dress dipped low and led her downstairs. Her skin burned his palm. Her feminine scent buffeted his senses. And if he slid his hand a couple of inches south he could cup those rounded ass cheeks and ascertain if she’d donned the panties again after the desk session...

At the last minute, he inwardly bit out a curse and dropped his hand from her skin, seconds before they entered the VIP booth where Ben waited.

He’d opened the good stuff—Cristal. Three tall contemporary flutes sat on the table next to a small gift-wrapped package. Ash bit the inside of his cheek. He’d thought about giving Essie an opening-night gift, but he’d talked himself out of it, too terrified by the impulse and too worried it would blur the rigid lines he’d demarcated.

Ben kissed his sister’s cheek and poured the bubbles with a flourish. Ash struggled to share his friend’s enthusiasm. When they were all seated with a glass in hand, Ben raised his for a toast.

‘I just wanted to thank you both for all your hard work these last two weeks, and for holding the fort while I was away. We wouldn’t be here, opening night, without you two...so cheers. To The Yard.’

Ash and Essie joined the salutation, their eyes meeting briefly. Ash saw in her expression what he guessed was mirrored in his own—a flash of guilt. Fuck.

What with the new and dangerous emotions ensnaring him, and considering the potential mess when this ended for him, for Essie, for his friendship with Ben...he should be a man. End it tonight, on a high.

We opened the club...what say you we call this quits and part as friends?

The mouthful of wine soured. He made a fist under the table.

‘And, Essie...’ Ben collected the gift and handed it to her ‘...I want you to have this. Thanks for stepping in when I needed you.’ Ben stared, earnest, while Essie looked at him as if he’d just saved her, single-handed, from a burning building. And fuck if Ash didn’t want to see her level that look in his direction, equilibrium be damned.

‘As a kid, I always wanted a sibling.’ Ben swallowed, visibly moved. ‘I’m just glad it’s you.’

She took the package, her lower lip trembling. As she fumbled with the bow and the paper, an unseen force made Ash reach discreetly beneath the table to touch her knee in silent support. This developing bond with her brother fed her soul, healing the cracks her father had created with his callous selfishness. Her old man and that douche of an ex had really done a number on her self-esteem. But Ash had underestimated the depth of her longing to be a part of Ben’s life. To have more of a family. To belong. She deserved those things.

Ash had grown up surrounded by his family. Until recently he’d worked alongside them, every day. His sisters were still, and always would be, a massive part of his life. What must it have been like to never know when your parent was going to drop by? To wonder if this time, this birthday would be different? To feel unworthy of their time and attention, something that was a fundamental part of the parental role in Ash’s opinion. He knew all about shitty fathers... But at least he’d grown up knowing he’d mattered to both parents.

He gripped her knee tighter. The next time he saw Frank Newbold...

Essie flashed him a brief, grateful smile and then she tore through the last of the paper and looked on in wonder. Ash forced his fingers to relax. She wasn’t his business. They were just having fun.

It was a framed snap of Essie and Ben outside The Yard, their arms around each other and their grins, so alike, wide and beaming.

Essie’s eyes filled and she threw her arms around her brother’s neck.

Ash stilled, his breath trapped, a voyeur, an outsider on the growing sibling connection between these two. But he couldn’t look away, or leave. A sick part of him forced himself to see what his selfish, indulgent actions put at risk. The siblings stood for a proper hug. Essie turned her face, which was pressed to Ben’s chest.

Part of him had genuinely believed their chemistry would have petered out by now. That the insistent itch would have dissipated. But if anything, the need only intensified. Because now he knew Essie. He understood her quirky sense of humour. He could laugh at her strange English phrases and the way she’d translate them for his transatlantic education, and he reciprocated her enthusiastic desire for him, which seemed equally insatiable and only built in intensity with every day that passed.

Despite knowing the cost of deceit and betrayal—especially from a family member, one you should be able to trust with your life—the damage they wreaked. Despite knowing her past left her craving this relationship with Ben. Despite breaking his rules to have her only once, his resolve was steadfast. He couldn’t, wouldn’t offer her more than what they had right now. But was he ready to give her up?

He couldn’t be what she needed. He owed it to her, to his friend, to let her go now, before the toll of his selfishness grew.

His blood stilled as if turned to concrete. Before he could make an excuse and leave on some pretext or other, he heard familiar voices. He turned around in time to see his sister, Harley, and the others arrive. Perfect timing. He’d forgotten they were coming to The Yard’s opening night, he’d been so busy losing himself in Essie.

Harley flew at him with a squeal of excitement. He lifted her into a bear hug. She’d arrived from the States today with her fiancé, Jack, who split his time between Europe and New York.

Ash gripped his sister tighter than usual, earning him a searching stare when he released her to the ground. At least his sister hadn’t blamed him for his part in their parents’ split. She, too, had had her fingers burnt with Hal.

‘You look amazing.’ He kissed her cheeks, forcing his fingers to relax on her shoulders, and then shook hands with Jack and, behind them, Jack’s friend Alex and his fiancée, Libby. Ash made introductions and the group settled around the table as a waiter brought more glasses and a second bottle of Cristal.

Essie, Libby and Harley quickly fell into animated and excitable conversation and the other men started a debate about some upcoming English soccer game Ash had no clue about. He sipped his drink, a sense of unease capturing him as he watched the interactions around the table, as if from a distance. He’d done enough emotional wrangling for one night. Damn, enough for a whole year. But the unwanted thoughts pushed their way into his head anyway.

Fraud.

Outsider.

Pretender.

He almost snorted champagne out of his nose. He’d long ago sworn off wanting what his sister and Jack’s friend had. So why now did the hair at the back of his neck react to every look the couples shared, every touch, every unspoken communication? Because he knew he was short-changing Essie, like the men of her past.

He focussed on Essie, whose cheeks had pinked up nicely with the alcohol. She participated fully in the conversation with the other two women, who, Ash understood, had become close friends in recent months. But her gaze slid often to him, secret, non-verbal cues passing between them with every flick of her expressive eyes.

She was happy.

Ash’s unease lessened. Perhaps he was overthinking this. She’d never hinted she wanted more than sex. Great, addictive sex. He should go with the flow tonight. Enjoy his and Ben’s and Essie’s success. Enjoy his sister’s company and that of new friends.

The next time she looked up, he smiled back at Essie, his spirit lightening. During a brief lull in the chatter, Harley cleared her throat.

‘So, we have something to ask you.’ She glanced around the group, her eyes finishing on Jack.

Ash’s shoulders tensed to the point of cramping as chills raced down his spine. Harley looked far too happy.

‘We’re getting married. Monday,’ she said with a flourish and giggle.

The blow winded him. Married? They’d only just reconnected.

‘What? Since when?’ Ash reeled, his stomach tight.

Harley nodded, barely containing her joy. ‘It’s all arranged—we just planned it in the car on the way here.’ She leaned over to kiss Jack while the others offered congratulations and indulgent grins.

Of course. Because that was how most people planned the most important commitment of their lives—spur of the moment. He hated to be the voice of doom, but they’d only been engaged a few months... And they had history.

More importantly, had she learned nothing from his experience? From their father’s appalling behaviour, towards their mother, Harley herself and most recently towards Ash? All done in the name of so-called love.

Yes, he’d jumped in too soon, his engagement to Maggie impulsive, flushed with the enthusiasm of first love. And look where that had led. To heartbreak, and humiliation. To the ultimate betrayal. Its effects long-lasting, shaping him, controlling him, affecting his precious equilibrium even to this day. Affecting his ability to be open to someone new in his life.

He’d thought himself over it years ago, but now, years later, its effects still carried power. Because the lies outlasted all else. Discovering Hal had been the real partner in Maggie’s betrayal and that he had concealed it from Ash, from everyone, long after the affair ended, had sealed the fate on both his working relationship with his father and his personal one. Ash’s whole life as he’d known it had, in an instant, become untenable. His stomach rolled. He couldn’t bear to look at his father, let alone work with the man.

‘What about New York? Mum and Hannah?’ No way would Harley marry without her twin sister present. And was Hal flying in for the ceremony? He couldn’t be in the same room as him. Not yet. The betrayal was still too raw.

And what about divorce and infidelity and lies? He hadn’t exaggerated when he’d informed Essie of the reality of divorce statistics. And he’d seen enough professionally—inevitable prenups, prolonged bitter wrangling over assets, the financial and emotional toll of a commitment that seemed like a good idea at the time but didn’t last. Not to mention his personal prejudices...

‘Mum and Hannah are flying in tomorrow. We don’t want a big fuss, just a simple service. Alex said we can have the ceremony at his estate in Oxfordshire—this is what we want.’ She clutched Jack’s hand, some freaky silent communication passing between them. ‘We’ll celebrate with extended families separately.’

Ash could understand. There was no way their father and Jack’s parents could attend the same event, not after they’d recently discovered the reason for the long rift between the former friends was another historic affair between Hal and Jack’s mother. What a selfish bastard his father had turned out to be. He’d always known he was arrogant and uncompromising, but he hadn’t realised he was such a shitty human being. Once a cheater, always a cheater.

Surely these were all perfect reasons for Harley and Jack to employ caution. To get to know each other better. To allow their relationship to stand the test of time before marriage. Why the hell did they have to marry at all? Why not just live together?

It warmed him that Harley, who’d struggled growing up because of her dyslexia, was happy. But could he stand to watch her go through the devastation a wrong choice now would bring? Jack seemed crazy about her, but you never really knew what lurked inside someone. Everyone had their ugliness.

As Harley turned to Ben and Essie, including them in the invitation to Oxfordshire, Ash battled his helplessness. It seemed, unless he could talk her out of this, he’d have a ringside seat. The least he could do was offer her some legal advice for when the shit splattered through the blades of the fan.