Читать книгу The Dare Collection January 2020 - Lauren Hawkeye, A.C. Arthur - Страница 26

DAMIAN STOOD THERE with the grey London light falling over him, in a tailored charcoal suit with a white shirt. The neck of his shirt was open, exposing his bright tattoos, and he had his hands in his pockets. It was supposed to be a casual pose, but he looked anything but casual.

Tension poured off him, in the lines of his powerful shoulders and arms and in his beautiful face. I could see that his hands were curled into fists in his pockets and there was sharp grief in his silver eyes as he looked at me, grief he was trying to hide.

Grief I didn’t understand.

‘So...you avoided coming to London because of your sister?’ I asked tentatively. ‘But why?’

He tried to smile, tried to put on that mask again, but it was more of a snarl than anything else, and I found myself taking a couple of instinctive steps towards him, wanting to do something for him.

But he gave a sharp shake of his head, freezing me in place. ‘Don’t.’

So I stayed where I was, my throat tight, my heart beginning to ache, because whatever he was going to tell me hurt him.

‘It’s the usual sad story,’ he went on. ‘Mum’s illness was terminal, and her pain was getting worse, and nothing I did helped.’ His beautiful voice got rougher. ‘I couldn’t save her. I knew I couldn’t. I knew there was nothing to be done. But...’ A muscle flicked in his hard jaw. ‘The helplessness of it. Knowing there was nothing, fucking nothing, that I could do. She sent me out before the end. She didn’t want me to see it—not me or Morgan.’

My heart felt as if it had grown sharp edges and was cutting me deep inside. I could only imagine what it must have been like for him, a sixteen-year-old boy having to shoulder the burden of his dying mother. Alone. Because he had been alone, hadn’t he? Like he still was.

‘The nurses told me she died peacefully.’ Damian’s voice was ragged around the edges. ‘And in no pain, so there was that.’ His gaze lifted abruptly. ‘But Morgan didn’t understand. She changed after Mum died. She became scared and anxious... It was like Mum took all the joy out of her when she died. I tried to make life fun again for her.’ The muscle in his jaw jumped again. ‘But it was hard and I was only fucking sixteen. What did I know about what little girls liked? I couldn’t help her, so I sent her to boarding school for some stability and to be with other kids her age, working my arse off to cover the fees. And then when she was done with school, and our company was doing well, I sent her to Ulysses.’

His eyes glittered. ‘And I haven’t seen her since, because she doesn’t need to be reminded of the past and what I couldn’t do for her. And, besides, my responsibility to her is done. I’m not getting sucked into doing any more.’

He was silent a moment, staring at me, something fierce burning in his expression. ‘I’m telling you all of this, Thea, because caring for Mum while she was dying, and then having to care for Morgan...it took everything I had.’ The lines of his face were drawn tight. ‘I don’t have anything left for anyone else. And I don’t want to matter to anyone, because then they don’t have to matter to me. It’s not personal, it’s just the way it is. If you want fun and sex from me, fine, I can give you that. But nothing else, understand?’

The sharp edges of my heart were rubbing me raw and I had to take a silent breath. I could only imagine what he’d gone through, the bravery it would have taken to help his mother and then take on the responsibility of caring for his sister too. It would have taken both courage and compassion.

And who would he have had to turn to? Had he had anyone? Oh, but I knew the answer to that already. No, he hadn’t.

Somewhere inside me another sharp pain caught, but I ignored it.

It wasn’t about me. And, if there was a part of me that secretly wanted to be the person he could turn to, then that was my own fault. He hadn’t promised me anything but a few days, and I was already on borrowed time.

My vision blurred, grief for him making tears start behind my eyes. But I blinked them away hard. He didn’t need me being all emotional on him.

‘It’s okay,’ I said, trying to sound calm and steady. ‘I get it. I’m so sorry you had to go through all of that, Damian. I’m just...so sorry.’

It sounded so inadequate and trite, and I wanted to close the distance between us and put my arms around him. But that was about me and what I needed, not him. So I stayed where I was.

‘You don’t need to worry,’ I went on instead. ‘I won’t ask any more questions, I promise. Just sex and good times from now on.’

His silver gaze had settled on me, the look on his face completely unreadable. And, no matter how hard I tried to tell it not to, my heart still ached.

‘I mean, I know it’s not the same,’ I continued, wanting to reassure him and maybe convince myself too. ‘But I don’t want more either. Mr Chen wasn’t my father, but I cared about him and his legacy. And I want to continue it, which means doing a job where I’ll always have to remain alone. It was a choice I made years ago and I’m not changing my mind just for you, okay?’

Damian stared at me for a long time and I didn’t understand all the emotions that crossed his face. And he didn’t smile. It was as though the mask had dropped and what I was seeing was the raw, unvarnished man.

Serious. Intense. But something fierce blazed in his eyes.

Then quite suddenly it was he who crossed the distance, taking my face between his hands, his palms hot against my skin.

‘Why tell me that?’ he demanded, staring down at me. ‘Is it supposed to make me care that you’re alone?’

He was angry; I could see that now. ‘Why?’ I shot back, staring up at him, something fierce rising inside me too. ‘Has it made you change your mind?’

‘No.’ His fingers tightened on my jaw. ‘I’m a selfish prick and I don’t give a shit about you or anyone else.’

And then, before I could move, he bent his head and kissed me fierce and hard, his tongue pushing inside, exploring. Demanding. Taking.

There was no finesse this time, none of his practised charm. None of his usual focus or care. The kiss was rough, raw and totally uncompromising. The kiss of a man who had a point to prove and was going to use me to prove it.

I shuddered as he ravaged my mouth, desire gathering tight and hot inside me, because although he’d been angry it wasn’t anger I tasted in the kiss. It was desperation. Hunger. He wanted to prove that he didn’t want anything from me, or from anyone, but the desperate way he was kissing me told me otherwise.

And instantly all my own anger drained away.

No wonder he was desperate. No wonder he was hungry. He’d given everything he had to the people he cared about, and because his mother had died and his sister had been too young he hadn’t got anything back.

No one had given him what he needed.

Except for now. Now he had me. And I had plenty to give.

I tore my mouth from his, staring up into his blazing eyes. ‘Tell me what you want,’ I said fiercely. ‘Tell me and I’ll give it to you.’

He took a moment, as if he didn’t understand at first. And then the silver light in his eyes seemed to grow brighter.

‘Strip,’ he ordered roughly. ‘I want everything off. Now.’

I didn’t hesitate. My hands shook as I pulled at my clothes, discarding them quickly onto the floor, Damian’s gaze burning as he watched me.

Once I was naked, the air moving over my skin, he pointed to the floor in front of him. ‘Down. Now.’

I dropped to my knees, the wooden floor hard beneath me, my pulse getting louder and louder in my head.

His hands dropped to his fly and he undid the button, jerking down the zip. With one hand he pulled out his cock while with the other he reached for me, his fingers tangling in my hair. ‘Open your mouth,’ he demanded, and when I did he shoved his cock into it, stretching my lips wide around him.

‘Now suck it.’ His voice was hardly recognisable, a deep, rough growl, and I responded, closing my mouth around him and taking him in deep. So deep he brushed the back of my throat.

He made a harsh sound, his handsome features tightening with pleasure, and I liked it. Liked that he was taking from me and that I could give him what he wanted.

But I wanted to give him more, so I began to suck him hard, licking around the sensitive head in the way I knew he liked, teasing the ring in his dick with my tongue, letting my teeth graze him. He tasted good, musky, salty and male, so I took him deeper, tasting him harder.

Another growl escaped him, the look in his eyes burning me alive as he stared down at me. God, he was incredible. His jaw was hard, the intensity he always kept masked suddenly blazing.

His fingers tightened in my hair, his hips flexing as he thrust into my mouth. I wanted to shut my eyes, give myself over to the experience and to him, but I couldn’t drag my gaze from his face.

He hit the back of my throat, making me groan, and then abruptly he pulled out of my mouth, his fists in my hair. ‘Lie down.’ His voice was rough, breathless, and he released me. ‘On your back.’

And I did, my breathing fast and short, the nagging ache between my thighs getting stronger. I was wet and I wanted his hands on me, wanted his mouth, but I wasn’t going to ask. He’d done nothing but give me pleasure for the past week and now it was my turn to give. He could take me, use me however he wanted. This was for him.

The floor was hard against my bare back, the wood cool, and it made me shiver.

‘Spread your legs,’ Damian growled, staring down at me.

And I did, spreading them wide, my thighs shaking.

His gaze dropped to my bare sex and stayed there, making me catch my breath. Then he dropped to his knees between my legs, still staring at me, reaching into his back pocket and pulling out his wallet. He took out a condom packet and ripped it open, and there was something incredibly erotic about the deliberateness of his movements that had me shifting restlessly on the floor.

My breathing was embarrassingly loud, but I could hear his too and it was just as fast, just as ragged. But he didn’t move any faster, taking out the condom and slowly rolling it down over his cock, still glistening from my mouth.

Then he looked down at me and put his hand out, his palm settling on my stomach, the heel of his hand pressing lightly on my clit. Bolts of fire ignited as he pressed down, pleasure licking up inside me. I gasped, my hips lifting automatically into his hand, wanting more, wanting harder.

But he took his hand away. ‘Roll over.’

I sucked in a shaky breath and did as I was told, the wooden floor pressing against my hard, achingly sensitive nipples. But the rest of my senses were completely focused on the demanding man behind me, breathless with excitement about what he was going to ask of me next.

I jumped when his hands settled on my hips and he hauled me up onto my knees, leaving my face pressed to the floor.

‘Legs apart,’ he ordered, one knee nudging the inside of mine and forcing them wider.

I couldn’t stop shaking and I started to pant, his heat behind me a tease and a temptation.

Then his hands were between my legs, spreading apart the folds of my sex, and I felt his cock push against me. There was no delicious teasing now. He thrust in hard, penetrating me deep before sliding out, then thrusting in again.

Pleasure spread out in a sharp wave and I shut my eyes as it washed over me, rolling me over and over, swamping me.

He thrust deeper, harder, the slap of his flesh against mine combining with my ragged breathing and the rough, masculine sounds of his own pleasure echoing off the walls.

My hands had spread out onto the floor, my nails digging into the wood as if I could hold on to it, stop myself from being washed away in the flood of sensation. But it was futile. He moved faster, my body shuddering against the wood, rubbing against my nipples and my knees. It was painful and yet somehow incredibly erotic at the same time.

I gasped as he shoved himself deeper, his hands gripping my hips so hard they were going to leave bruises. But I didn’t care. I wanted bruises. I wanted all the evidence I could get that he’d taken what he needed from me.

I hadn’t been able to give to anyone before, but now I could and I wanted to give him everything.

And he took it with both hands, shoving himself into me, his fingers digging into my flesh, bruising my knees and setting free my heart.

But it wasn’t all for him and I should have known that even now, even while he was taking, he still couldn’t stop himself from giving. Because, just when I thought I was going to have finish myself off, he reached around and found my clit, his finger pressing down hard.

‘Come, Thea,’ he growled.

And because I was his to command I did, sobbing against the floor, barely aware of his own roar of release as he followed me.