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Table of Contents

As good form requires that an author mention in his preface the persons to whom he is chiefly indebted, I take this opportunity of stating that during the preparation of this book I became appreciably indebted to Dr. Warren S. Holder, my dentist, Mr. William Vroom, my tailor, Mr. M. Tesshow, my stationer and tobacconist, and Messrs. Acker, Merrall & Condit, my grocers.

Although these gentlemen neither "corrected the proofs" of my book nor "saw it through the press," nor allowed me access to rare documents and family letters, nor treated me to intimate accounts of their fathers and great uncles as they knew them; though they did none of these customary things, nevertheless I became decidedly their debtor—and still am.

Indeed, without their stimulus this book might never have been written.

L. M.

What-NotsTable of Contents
	PAGE
Unsolicited Personal Adornments	15
Shelf Culture	21
Portable Pigeonholes	28
Simile	33
The Beatified Race	35
Jouez Balle	41
The Art of Packing	45
Agriculture Indoors	52
Snowy Bosoms	59
Interior Desperation	62
The Writing on the Screen	68
Musique Glacée	72
The Care of the Husband	76
Terminology of Tardiness	81
Oppressors of the Meek	83
Putting Pedagogy Across	90
Coaching From the Side-lines	95

Fast and Loose	99
The Primrose_Pathology	103
Fightier_Than_the_Sword	106
Enlightenment	112
Holiday Misgivings	116
All, All Are Gone, The Old Familiar Façades	121
My Museum	124
On Chairs--And Off	129