Читать книгу The Double Heart Ranch - Leanna Wilson, Leanna Wilson - Страница 9

“And they lived happily ever after.” Cole Dalton closed the book and ignored the tightening around his chest. “Happily ever afters” didn’t happen so easily. Not at all in his life.

“Read another one, Daddy!”

“Not tonight, darlin’.” He patted his daughter’s leg which lay beneath the pale pink comforter. “You have school tomorrow.”

“But I’m not sleepy.” Haley stuck out her bottom lip.

“I am.” He faked a yawn, stretching his arms out wide and opening his mouth until the sound of a creak came from his throat.

“What if I have a bad dream?”

“Then you can sleep with me.” He gave her a light kiss on the top of her curly blond hair. Crossing the five year old’s frilly room, he then turned off the lamp. Automatically the night light clicked on, glowing yellow in the corner, illuminating his daughter’s upturned face. “Now be a good girl and go to sleep.”

“Okay.” Haley snuggled down into her covers and her hair splayed out across the pillow. “G’night, Daddy.”

He could hear the chirp of crickets and croak of bullfrogs outside her window. He wondered why his ex-wife Paula had hated those sounds so much. To him, the comforting chatter seemed to embrace the ranch house. But it had never seemed serene when his wife had lived here, not with her complaining about the heat in the summer, the cold in the winter and the isolation year round.

Relieved that the nights were now peaceful and calming here on his ranch alone with his daughter, he whispered into the gray darkness, “G’night, sweetheart.”

Before he could close the door all the way, he heard her soft voice ask, “Will they really?”

He paused, confused. “Will who what, darlin’?”

“Live happily ever after?”

In the dim light, Haley stared at him with those big, solemn brown eyes. His throat closed as if a fist had cut off his airway. Haley’s constant barrage of questions always made him nervous. He never knew if he was answering the right way or about to scar his daughter for life. He knew firsthand that storybook endings didn’t happen. But should he shatter that fairy tale for his daughter now? Or let her learn it the hard way, like everyone else?

“I guess so. That’s what the book said.” He leaned against the doorframe and felt a throbbing pain resonate in his chest. It was hard being a parent. More so, a single father. He didn’t have anyone to consult with or confide in. But then he’d never had that with his ex-wife, either. “Now go to sleep, Haley.”

“But, Daddy…”

He drew a shaky breath, not sure he wanted the answer to his next question. “What is it, baby?”

“How come we don’t have a happy ever after?” Her squeaky voice could have punctured a hole right through his heart.

His hand folded around the doorknob and squeezed until he could draw a full breath into his tight lungs. Slowly, he pushed the door open wider and reentered her room. The thick, pink carpet softened the clomping sound of his boot heels. His heart pulsed with self-doubts and recriminations. He carefully sat on the edge of his daughter’s bed and tried to find the words to answer her woeful question. “Aren’t you happy here with me, sweetheart?”

“Yes, but—” She stopped herself and shut her brown eyes.

He couldn’t miss the quiver in her chin.

A cold clamp locked around his spine. Hadn’t he tried to give her everything a little girl needed—cute clothes, nourishing food on the table, a happy home and all the attention a five year old could stand?

“But what?” he prodded, needing to know her answer even if he knew it might rip him to shreds.

“We don’t have a mommy.”

No they didn’t. His ex-wife had lived as long as she could in the dust bowl of west Texas. She’d left, emotionally ripping out his heart and unbalancing their family. He’d tried to be both mother and father to Haley. Eventually, he’d admitted his deficiencies and hired a succession of nannies. None of them had stayed. They’d each found a lonesome cowboy, gotten hitched and moved on, leaving Haley and Cole once more on their own.

Maybe a little girl needed more than he could offer. Maybe Haley needed a mother more than she needed him. That drove a dull-edged blade through his heart.

His gaze shifted past the pink-curtained window to the darkness beyond. His great-great-grandfather had built the Double Heart Ranch with blood and sweat. But not alone. His mail-order bride had stood by him through tornadoes and dust storms, droughts and epidemics. They’d built a life together and made their own “happily ever after.”

Why couldn’t he do the same? He’d tried love, but Paula had hated the ranch. Worse, she’d hated motherhood even more. Maybe he could advertise for a wife, find one without the usual dating frenzy and marry for convenience. This time, for a lifetime…for his daughter’s sake. But could he trust a woman not to abandon them again?