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How to make sure you don’t miss a beat

You’ve seen professional skiing on television? The athlete at the top of the piste, every muscle primed and poised, waiting for the gun to propel him to ultimate victory. Look deeply into his eyes and you’ll see he is having an out-of-body experience. In his mind’s eye, the skier is swooshing down the slope, zapping back and forth between the poles, and sliding across the finish line in faster time than the world thought possible. The athlete is visualizing.

All athletes do it: divers, runners, jumpers, javelin throwers, lugers, swimmers, skaters, acrobats. They visualize their magic before performing it. They see their own bodies bending, twisting, flipping, flying through the air. They hear the sound of the wind, the splash in the water, the whirr of the javelin, the thud of its landing. They smell the grass, the cement, the pool, the dust. Before they move a muscle, professional athletes watch the whole movie, which, of course, ends in their own victory.

Sports psychologists tell us visualization is not just for top-level competitive athletes. Studies show mental rehearsal helps weekend athletes sharpen their golf, their tennis, their running, whatever their favourite activity. Experts agree if you see the pictures, hear the sounds, and feel the movements of your body in your mind before you do the activity, the effect is powerful.

‘Twenty-six miles on my mattress’

Psychological mumbo jumbo? Absolutely not! I have a friend, Richard, who runs marathons. Once, several years ago, a scant three weeks before the big New York marathon, an out-of-control car crashed into Richard’s and he was taken to the hospital. He was not badly injured. Nevertheless, his friends were sorry for him because being laid up two weeks in bed would, naturally, knock him out of the big event.

What a surprise when, on that crisp November marathon morning in Central Park, Richard showed up in his little shorts and big running shoes.

‘Richard, are you crazy? You’re in no shape to run. You’ve been in bed these past few weeks!’ we all cried out.

‘My body may have been in bed,’ he replied, ‘but I’ve been running.’

‘What?’ we asked in unison.

‘Yep. Every day. Twenty-six miles, 385 yards, right there on my mattress.’ Richard explained that in his imagination he saw himself traversing every step of the course. He saw the sights, heard the sounds, and felt the twitching movements in his muscles. He visualized himself racing in the marathon.

Richard didn’t do as well as he had the year before, but the miracle is he finished the marathon, without injury, without excessive fatigue. It was all due to visualization. Visualization works in just about any endeavour you apply it to – including being a terrific communicator.

Visualization works best when you feel totally relaxed. Only when you have a calm state of mind can you get clear, vivid images. Do your visualization in the quiet of your home or car before leaving for the party, the convention, or the big-deal meeting. See it all in your mind’s eye ahead of time.

Technique 9:

Watch the scene before you make the scene

Rehearse being the Super Somebody you want to be ahead of time. See yourself walking around with Hang by Your Teeth posture, shaking hands, smiling the Flooding Smile, and making Sticky Eyes. Hear yourself chatting comfortably with everyone. Feel the pleasure of knowing you are in peak form and everyone is gravitating toward you. Visualize yourself a Super Somebody. Then it all happens automatically.

You now have the skills necessary to get you started on the right foot with any new person in your life. Think of yourself in these first moments like a rocket taking off. When the folks at Cape Kennedy aim a spacecraft for the moon, a mistake in the millionth of a degree at the beginning, when the craft is still on the ground, means missing the moon by thousands of miles. Likewise, a tiny body-language blooper at the outset of a relationship may mean you will never make a hit with that person. But with Flooding Smile, Sticky Eyes, Epoxy Eyes, Hang by Your Teeth, Big-Baby Pivot, Hello Old Friend, Limit the Fidget, Hans’s Horse Sense and Watch the Scene Before You Make the Scene, you’ll be right on course to get whatever you eventually want from anybody – be it business, friendship, or love.

We now move from the silent world to the spoken word.