Читать книгу Phantasmagoria and Other Poems - Lewis Carroll, Льюис Кэрролл, Льюїс Керролл - Страница 3

“My First – but don’t suppose,” he said,

      “I’m setting you a riddle —

Is – if your Victim be in bed,

Don’t touch the curtains at his head,

      But take them in the middle,

“And wave them slowly in and out,

      While drawing them asunder;

And in a minute’s time, no doubt,

He’ll raise his head and look about

      With eyes of wrath and wonder.

“And here you must on no pretence

      Make the first observation.

Wait for the Victim to commence:

No Ghost of any common sense

      Begins a conversation.

“If he should say ‘How came you here?’

      (The way that you began, Sir,)

In such a case your course is clear —

‘On the bat’s back, my little dear!’

      Is the appropriate answer.

“If after this he says no more,

      You’d best perhaps curtail your

Exertions – go and shake the door,

And then, if he begins to snore,

      You’ll know the thing’s a failure.

“By day, if he should be alone —

      At home or on a walk —

You merely give a hollow groan,

To indicate the kind of tone

      In which you mean to talk.

“But if you find him with his friends,

      The thing is rather harder.

In such a case success depends

On picking up some candle-ends,

      Or butter, in the larder.

“With this you make a kind of slide

      (It answers best with suet),

On which you must contrive to glide,

And swing yourself from side to side —

      One soon learns how to do it.

“The Second tells us what is right

      In ceremonious calls: —

‘First burn a blue or crimson light’

(A thing I quite forgot to-night),

      ‘Then scratch the door or walls.’”

I said “You’ll visit here no more,

      If you attempt the Guy.

I’ll have no bonfires on my floor —

And, as for scratching at the door,

      I’d like to see you try!”

“The Third was written to protect

      The interests of the Victim,

And tells us, as I recollect,

To treat him with a grave respect,

      And not to contradict him.”

“That’s plain,” said I, “as Tare and Tret,

      To any comprehension:

I only wish some Ghosts I’ve met

Would not so constantly forget

      The maxim that you mention!”

“Perhaps,” he said, “you first transgressed

      The laws of hospitality:

All Ghosts instinctively detest

The Man that fails to treat his guest

      With proper cordiality.

“If you address a Ghost as ‘Thing!’

      Or strike him with a hatchet,

He is permitted by the King

To drop all formal parleying —

      And then you’re sure to catch it!

“The Fourth prohibits trespassing

      Where other Ghosts are quartered:

And those convicted of the thing

(Unless when pardoned by the King)

      Must instantly be slaughtered.

“That simply means ‘be cut up small’:

      Ghosts soon unite anew.

The process scarcely hurts at all —

Not more than when you ’re what you call

      ‘Cut up’ by a Review.

“The Fifth is one you may prefer

      That I should quote entire: —

The King must be addressed as ‘Sir.’

This, from a simple courtier,

      Is all the Laws require:

“But, should you wish to do the thing

      With out-and-out politeness,

Accost him as ‘My Goblin King!

And always use, in answering,

      The phrase ‘Your Royal Whiteness!’

“I’m getting rather hoarse, I fear,

      After so much reciting:

So, if you don’t object, my dear,

We’ll try a glass of bitter beer —

      I think it looks inviting.”