Читать книгу Sister Lilian’s Babycare Companion: Complimentary and traditional care - Lilian Paramor - Страница 82

Surround your baby with feelings of love and hope, and stroke and sing to him as much as possible. Play music regularly, and talk to your baby uninhibitedly – he is very familiar with your voice and it will provide great comfort. Do your best to express breastmilk: although your baby may well not be able to drink from you in the beginning, she needs the goodness and immunity of mother’s milk more than ever at this time.

Of course, many babies who are born before ‘their time’ are not in as dire straits as those sketched here. Yet there are other parents who will lose their babies, sometimes only after a long struggle. During this terrible time, words of comfort will sound hollow to you, but don’t shy away from your feelings. Don’t shut out the few special memories you might have of your baby, and don’t deny the anger and hopelessness you will frequently feel. Talk to someone special in your life, often. Cry for your baby, and for yourself. Men and women deal with their grief in different ways. Don’t let this come between you and your partner: you are the two people affected most, and you need one another now more than ever. Contact other parents in the same position, maybe through support groups like Compassionate Friends. If you have other children, be honest with them about what has happened and about your feelings. If surrounded by love they are often able to deal with even the most hurtful truth better than we imagine, and they can even help us to heal a bit sooner, if we let them.