Читать книгу Ultimate, Pregnancy, Birth and Parenting Guide - Lilian Paramor - Страница 29

CHAPTER 10

Pregnancy from a father-to-be’s perspective

A pregnant woman is often the centre of attention and even complete strangers “oooh” and “awww” over her developing belly. Amidst all this attention, Dad may feel a bit left out.

INCLUDING DAD

Sometimes, to set this right, all it takes is to assure him of your love for and pride in him. Assure him that you consider him to be the best possible father for your baby. Here are 10 suggestions to help Dad feel included:

1.Bring Dad to ultrasounds, doctor’s appointments and antenatal classes so he can see how Baby is developing and ask all his questions too. If he really can’t make it to the ultrasounds, bring a DVD back or give him a printout of the ultrasound.

2.Decorate the nursery together. Although Baby won’t need it for a while after birth, this is a fun project to tackle together. Besides, dads are usually good at painting or wallpapering walls, assembling cribs and shifting heavy furniture.

3.Dad may really enjoy going clothes shopping for Baby. Allow him to buy all those “My Daddy is the best” all-in-one suits.

4.Read pregnancy books and magazine articles together.

5.Give him a Father’s Day gift! He may not be a father just yet, but this will get him excited for when he is one.

6.Pick out names together. This can be such fun; you can even turn it into a bit of a game.

7.Allow him to bond with Baby: as soon as Baby starts kicking, allow him to feel and see your belly move. Encourage him to talk to Baby and introduce Baby to his favourite music.

8.Make a birth plan together. Explain what you’d like for your birth and why, and be open to his suggestions too. Ask him how he feels about being with you while you give birth, and if he has any anxieties or questions, which you can then find answers for.

9.Include him in your baby shower. This isn’t traditional, but times change and many women are starting to invite men to their showers.

10.Ask him! Chat about what you can do to make him feel more included – he may have some fantastic ideas.

TOUCH IS THE X-FACTOR

A sure way to keep an expectant couple in touch with each other’s feelings and love, is for Dad to massage Mom, and vice versa. A massage is such a simple thing to do and it has a powerful effect with so many benefits. And yet there is often a lot of mystery and fear about massaging expectant women. While there are certain precautions to be observed, touch therapy has been used safely for thousands of years in many cultures, with techniques passed from one generation to the next. The most important thing is to get started.

This section has some important pointers for Dad to help ensure he can confidently massage his partner – who will no doubt be suitably impressed and may even return the favour, within the physical limitations of her pregnancy.

1.Benefits of pregnancy touch techniques

A lot of research has been conducted over the last two decades and it’s now clear that massage reduces the rates of prematurity as well as pregnancy and postnatal depression, helps relieve the aches and pains of pregnancy and improves sleep patterns. You will feel comforted, relaxed and cherished too. If you have a high-risk pregnancy, you can still profit greatly from a few general touch techniques, but if you would like a full-body massage, rather use a trained therapist.

2.Top massage tips

The best positions are lying on your side, sitting comfortably facing and leaning onto the back of a chair, sitting on or kneeling on the floor while leaning over a birth ball or leaning forward with your arms or hands resting on a table. Then, Dad can try a few of these techniques:

•Neck and shoulder massage – simply do it, Dad, and follow Mom’s cues as to how much pressure you can use.

•Back massage – lower backache is the most common pregnancy complaint, and it responds well to firm circular massage with the heel of your hand (see Photo 1), as well as the special technique shown in Photo 2.

•Hip massage – rub firmly in a circular motion over her hip while Mom lies on her side.

•Abdominal touch – two tried and tested techniques are clockwise, very gentle massage of the whole belly (see Photo 3) and running finger “raindrops” all over her abdomen.

•Hand and foot massage – “walk” your thumb or index finger along every section of her hands and feet, not lingering long on sensitive areas. Gently stretch and wiggle her toes and fingers. End off by gently stroking her hands and feet towards the tips of her fingers and toes.

PHOTO 1: Rub firmly over the sacrum in circles with the heel of your hand.

PHOTO 2: Press your fist firmly over the sacrum or painful area while Mom pushes back against you.

PHOTO 3: Rub gently in a clockwise motion.

Special touch tip

If your pregnancy is weighing heavily in your pelvis and it feels as if a nerve is being pinched, try this: Lean against your partner’s abdomen and rest your head against his shoulder. Your partner should then cup your “bump” with his hands (taking care to not interlace his fingers too tightly or dig into your abdomen with his fingertips) and then slightly lift it up. You’ll experience instant relief.