Читать книгу A Home For Christmas - Linda Ford - Страница 9
ОглавлениеChristmas 1882 Eden Valley Ranch, Edendale, Alberta
“We aren’t having Christmas this year, are we, Uncle Wade?” Joey asked the question, but his sister, Annie, regarded Wade with both anxiety and accusation in her big brown eyes.
“Joey, I’m doing the best I can.” It was Christmas Day and Wade Snyder had failed to give the young children a home and a family. His failure hung about his shoulders like a water-soaked blanket.
Joey hung his head and mumbled under his breath, but Wade heard him. “That means no and we aren’t supposed to be upset.”
Wade had done everything he could to see that his recently orphaned niece and nephew were settled someplace for Christmas, but all his attempts of the past three months had met with failure. The Bauers, a couple from Fort Macleod who expressed an interest in adopting the pair, had failed to appear on the latest stagecoach. Instead, they’d sent a letter saying they would be there at a later date. One they failed to give him.
With that plan scuttled, he’d thought to spend the day with his friend Lane, a single man like himself, but Lane had other plans. He’d been invited to spend Christmas with a family that had recently moved in south of Lane and had a beautiful, marriageable-aged daughter.
As if those disappointments weren’t enough to contend with, Wade had encountered a young lady in Edendale who had overheard him explaining to the children that he would be leaving and they couldn’t go with him.
A pretty young thing with blue-green eyes and a halo of golden hair. Not that he’d given her more than a passing glance. She’d confronted him, her eyes flashing with a whole lot of emotions that he pretended not to notice.
“You need to give these children the assurance they aren’t a nuisance,” she’d said. “They’ve lost their parents. Shouldn’t that be reason enough to make a few sacrifices on their behalf?”
He’d edged past her before she could say more. How had she learned so much about the children in the few minutes he’d been in the store? And what did she know about what he should or shouldn’t do? Or what he could or could not do, for that matter? He hadn’t even been able to look after his wife, a full-grown woman. How could he hope to take care of two children? Besides, one would only have to take a look at his cowboy way of life to know he couldn’t give his niece and nephew a home.
He turned the wagon toward the west. For several turns of the wheels on the frozen ground he allowed himself to wish things could be different and he could keep Joey and little Annie. They were all the family he had left. But the plain and simple truth was he couldn’t care for them.
No, he’d do what was best for the kids.
Once the two were taken care of, he would ride up into the hills where his friend Stuart ran a ranch. Every year, after a few weeks visiting his sister and enjoying Christmas with her and her family, Wade took over for Stuart while he went south to visit his mother.
Every year, Stuart made him the same offer. “Throw in with me. We’ll be partners. It’s time you settled down.”
Every year, Wade refused. He’d once had a home of his own, a wife and dreams of a family. All his hopes had come crashing to an end when he discovered his wife dead in their bed. She’d taken her own life. He hadn’t even noticed how unhappy she was, had put down her frequent dark moods to the fact she’d failed to get pregnant. He’d done his best to console her and assure her she was all that mattered to him.
Her death taught him a valuable lesson. One he didn’t care to repeat. He couldn’t look after those he loved. Couldn’t judge what they needed. Wasn’t enough for them. So he rode all summer for some ranch outfit, spent Christmas with his sister and family, then took Stuart’s place on his ranch until spring, when Wade repeated the process. It was what he’d done for the past six of his twenty-six years.
Annie edged forward from the back of the wagon box where the pair had been sitting and perched her elbows on the bench. “Uncle Wade, do you like us?”
A groan tore from his heart but he swallowed back the sound. “Come here.” He pulled her to his lap. “You, too, Joey.” The boy climbed to the bench and crowded to Wade’s side.
Wade hugged them both. “I love you more than you’ll ever know.”
Annie nestled her head under his chin and sighed. “I miss Mama and Papa.” A sob stole the last of her words.
He tightened his arms around the pair. He missed his sister with an unending ache. “I know you do. I do, too.” Though his loss was but a fraction of theirs. “I tell you what. I’ll spend Christmas with you and we’ll have a real good time.”
He had purchased popping corn, ribbon candy and some gifts at Macpherson’s store. Wade pulled the wagon to a halt and, not knowing what the day might hold, handed them the gifts he’d purchased. Nothing much. A picture book for Annie and a pair of leather mittens with fringes for Joey.
The two smiled and thanked him, though their smiles seemed a little forced. Even a piece of the candy for each didn’t give them their usual joy. Presents and games wouldn’t replace a mama and a papa, but he’d do his best to help them have a good time. Handing out gifts in a wagon wasn’t a great start.
“I was afraid we wouldn’t have Christmas,” Annie whispered.
“We wouldn’t forget to celebrate the birth of baby Jesus.” He hadn’t told the pair what lay ahead for them except to say they couldn’t go with him. He was certain they’d welcome a new mama and papa, but he figured it was too soon after losing their own for them to see the wisdom of his decision. But hadn’t Susan’s last words been to demand a promise that he’d see they got a good home?
He turned off at the Eden Valley Ranch trail. Lane had said the people there welcomed strangers and people needing help. Well, he surely needed help if he was to give these kids the Christmas they deserved.
They approached the big house. Several wagons were drawn up to the door.
“Who lives here?” Joey asked as Annie clutched Wade’s arm.
“Nice people.” He figured they must be nice if they welcomed strangers.
“Do you know them?” Joey persisted.
“Only by reputation.”
The boy pressed into Wade’s side as if he meant to disappear. Wade’s heart squeezed out drops of sorrow and regret. He’d lost his sister and her husband to pneumonia. Susan had been his anchor since his wife died. Four years his senior, she was the only person in the world who made him believe in love and happiness. All that was left of her were her children. He loved them to the very depths of his soul and it about killed him to think of giving them up, but he must do what he’d promised. At that moment, Wade made himself another promise. He would do everything in his power to see that these kids had an extra-special Christmas before they got adopted by a new family.
He pulled the wagon to a halt and jumped down. As soon as the horses were tended to, he lifted the children from the wagon and, with one clutching each hand, crossed the few feet to the house. He stood there staring at the fine wooden door.
“Uncle Wade, aren’t you going to knock?” Annie asked.
Wade nodded. He had to do it. Had to have this one last Christmas with them, then let them go. He dropped Joey’s hand and rapped on the thick wood.
In a matter of seconds, the door opened. “Howdy, stranger, what can I do for you?” The man there looked and sounded friendly enough.
“I hear you help people.”
“We do if we can.”
“Then perhaps you’d let us spend Christmas with you. Me and these two children.”
“You’re more than welcome. Come right in.” He threw the door wide and ushered them inside.
Wade felt the eyes of a dozen people upon him but he noticed only one person.
The young lady from town who had scolded him royally. The flash in her eyes informed him she hadn’t changed her opinion of him. No doubt she’d see his visit as an opportunity to further chastise him.
His hopes for a pleasant Christmas lay whimpering at his feet.
* * *
Missy Porter’s mouth dropped open and she stared in a way that was most rude. At eighteen she knew better but she couldn’t help herself. It was that man. The one she’d spoken to in Edendale after overhearing a conversation between him and his niece and nephew. She’d paid his appearance scant attention then, but now gave it a thorough visual examination. He was tall and lean like an old piece of hickory. He wore a dusty cowboy hat and a denim winter coat, faded almost white where the sleeves folded when he bent his arms. She noticed a flash of blue as the light hit his eyes. When he took off his hat as soon as he stepped inside, his brown hair looked surprisingly well trimmed as if he’d recently visited a barber. But it was the determination in the set of his jaw that made her clamp her mouth shut and swallow loudly.
He was a hard man. One who would not understand the tender hearts of little children.
She shifted her attention to the two sweet children at his side. With dark brown eyes and dark brown hair, they were almost Spanish looking. The little boy did his best to look brave, while the girl blinked back tears.
Linette Gardiner, hostess and wife of the ranch owner, Eddie, rushed to the trio, her baby cradled in one arm. “Come in. Come in. Let me take your coats.” She waited while they shed their outerwear and hung it on the nearby hooks. “Now, whom do we have the pleasure of meeting?”
“Wade Snyder, ma’am, and this is my niece, Annie Lopez, and my nephew, Joey.”
“So pleased to meet you.” Linette squatted to eye level with the children. “Merry Christmas. I hope you like toys and food because that’s what’s in store for the day.”
“Oh, yes.” Little Annie’s eyes shone with joy.
Joey grinned widely, then his smile flattened. He leaned back. “Our mama and papa died and we thought we wouldn’t have Christmas this year.” He shot Wade an accusing look that echoed in Missy’s mind. From what she’d overheard, she knew he hadn’t planned on spending Christmas with them. It had sounded as if he planned to leave them and ride away. What kind of man would do that?
“I’m sorry to hear about your mama and papa.” Linette met Wade’s eyes.
“My sister and her husband,” he explained.
Linette paused, her hand pressed to her chest as if feeling a sympathetic pain, then turned back to the children. “How old are you two?”
“I’m seven,” said the boy. “My sister is five.”
“Then you’ll fit right in with the other children. Grady is almost six.” She indicated the crowd of children playing in one corner.
Joey and Annie clung to Wade’s leg.
Linette straightened and stepped back. “When you feel like it, you can join them. In the meantime, come and meet everyone.” She introduced Eddie first, then started around the large circle. There were so many young couples—Roper Jones and his wife, Cassie, who had arrived in Linette’s company a little over a year ago. Grace and Ward Walker, who lived on a little ranch nearby. Eddie’s sister, Jayne, and her new husband, Seth Collins.
As they continued around the circle, introducing yet more newlyweds—Sybil and Brand Duggan, Mercy and Abel Borgard, Blue and Clara Lyons—Missy began to wonder how it was that so many had met and fallen in love on the ranch. She began to suspect there had been active matchmaking going on.
Her own sister-in-law, Louise, had married Nate Hawkins back in Montana, but it wasn’t until they reached the ranch that their love became real, which half confirmed the suspicions about the ranch’s role in romance. As for herself, Missy had no intention of joining the couples in matrimony.
An older pair was likewise introduced. Cookie and her husband, Bertie, ran the cookhouse.
As they were introduced, each one murmured condolences to Wade and the children, until Missy wondered how the children could stand to hear it one more time.
Missy sat at the far corner. She’d be the last to be introduced and she could hardly draw in a breath as they drew closer to her. All too soon they stood before her.
“And this is Missy Porter,” Linette said.
Wade’s eyes grew icy and she knew he recognized her. She’d spoken out of turn when she saw him in town. But when she’d heard him inform the children that he’d make sure they were in a safe place before he left, and when she’d heard their voices break as they confessed how they missed the mama and papa they’d so recently lost, an avalanche of unwanted memories had slammed into her. She’d been thirteen when she encountered the same emotion. She would never forget the shock of listening to the preacher explain that her parents had died in an accident.
“The horses bolted and the wagon flipped.” The preacher had said more, but Missy stopped listening. The details were too dreadful to hear.
Her brother, Gordie, was not yet eighteen and he’d not been pleased at being saddled with a younger sister to care for. He never let her forget that she was the reason he couldn’t live the life he wanted. Not that he did much caring. She took over the cooking and cleaning. He took over earning money to keep them, but soon he hooked up with Vic Hector, a very unlikable man in Missy’s opinion, who convinced Gordie there were easier ways to make money. By “easier,” he meant on the shady side of the law.
When Gordie married Louise and she moved in, Missy had truly gained a sister. They shared the household duties and became friends. But now Gordie was dead by a gunshot wound during one of his and Vic’s escapades. Louise had remarried and Missy was about to be on her own. She meant to face the future without depending on anyone else.
Except God, she added quickly, lest He think she was being prideful. She certainly didn’t mean to be. No, she wasn’t going anyplace without God.
There wasn’t a doubt in her mind that He had carried them safely on the journey from Rocky Creek, Montana, through a snowstorm and bitter cold. God had protected Louise and baby Chloe from Vic, who’d thought he owned them and Missy. She shivered at the memory of how Vic had treated her, trying to get her alone, and when he did, pressing against her in corners. Then he’d moved into the Porter house and both Missy and Louise knew he’d be taking advantage of the situation. So they’d fled to Eden Valley Ranch.
Never again would Missy allow herself to be made to feel she was an unwelcome burden. No more having others tell her what to do and what not to do, where to go and when and how. No, she had plans that would prevent that.
Before her, the newcomer named Wade tipped his head, breaking into her thoughts. “Nice to make your acquaintance, miss.”
She knew she wasn’t mistaken in hearing a mocking tone in his words. Hopefully, the others didn’t notice. She tipped her head in response. “Likewise, I’m sure.”
A flicker of his eyelids informed her he understood her silent message that she was as thrilled as he to be forced to spend Christmas together. Which was not at all.
She turned her attention to the children, wanting to let them know she understood how alone and afraid they were at the moment. “I, too, lost my mama and papa when I was a child.”
“What happened to them?” Annie asked, her eyes big with curiosity.
“There was an accident.”
The children nodded solemnly.
Joey released a long sigh that ended in a shudder. “Our mama and papa got sick and died.” He studied her. “When did yours die?”
“Four years ago.” Four and a half and a bit. She used to count the months and weeks and days, but had stopped doing that. Nothing would make her forget them but she had to face the future.
Missy rested her hand over the pocket that contained a piece of paper. She did not need to see it to know what it said.
Miss Evans offers young ladies the opportunity to become self-sufficient and earn twice the salary of a public schoolteacher. You’ll learn how to operate a typewriter. Become a secretary and you will be able to get a job anywhere.
Missy had sent in a deposit from the coins she’d been saving for her future. The next class was to begin in March in Toronto, which left her three months to earn the rest of the cost of tuition.
She allowed the tiniest smile to curve her mouth. She’d soon be independent. Her future would be in her hands, not in the hands of others. A shiver trickled down her spine. Like these children, she knew how it felt to lose important people in her life. It was best to be on her own. That way she wouldn’t have to deal with the pain of losing anyone else.
“Ours died a little time ago.” Tears rushed to Joey’s eyes.
These children needed so much care and tenderness at the moment. Turning her gaze back to Wade, Missy felt her smile flatten, her lips curl downward. He had made it clear he didn’t want these children. Perhaps he was sending them to relatives—kinder, more loving people. She certainly hoped so.
Annie rocked forward, seeking her attention.
“What is it, child?” Missy asked.
“Did you have Christmas without your mama and papa?”
Missy knew what the child meant. “I missed them terribly. I still do. But I know they would want me to be happy, especially at Christmas.”
Annie nodded, satisfied with the answer. “I think so, too.”
Wade took his niece’s hand. “Come along, Annie. You shouldn’t bother the lady.”
Missy’s insides curled at the way Wade made it sound as if she didn’t welcome Annie’s questions. Ignoring his warning glance, she brushed her hand over the girl’s shoulder. “You’re not a bother to me.”
Right then and there, she promised herself she would do everything in her power to make this a Christmas Day these children would remember with joy.
* * *
The only place left for Wade to sit was next to Missy. He almost refused Linette’s invitation to be seated, but he had asked to be included in their Christmas. Seemed it meant enduring Missy’s narrow-eyed looks. He plunked onto the chair and pulled Annie to his lap. Joey sat on the floor in front of him, watching the other children playing.
Annie turned to regard Missy. “You live here?”
“I’m only visiting. Louise is my sister-in-law.” She pointed out a young woman with a tiny baby in her arms and a man hovering adoringly at her side. “She and Nate are going to live at his ranch as soon as he fixes the cabin.”
Wade fleetingly wondered if Missy would be living with them.
Annie reached out and fingered the fabric of Missy’s dress. “I like your gown. It feels nice.”
“It’s satin. Royal blue was my mama’s favorite color. I like to wear it and remember her.”
Annie leaned forward. “Mama’s favorite color was pink. I like pink, too. Maybe I’ll get a pink dress when I get big. I gots a pink sweater she knitted me. It’s my favorite thing.”
It was the most Annie had talked since her parents died. Before that she had been a regular chatterbox.
She turned to Wade. “Where’s my pink sweater?”
He had no idea. The neighboring women had helped him pack up the children’s things. “I expect it’s in one of your bags.”
“In the wagon?”
“Yes. Everything is under a tarp.” He wanted to reassure her that her belongings were safe.
“Oh.” The one syllable was both a question and a demand.
“We’ll find it later.”
“Oh.” Disappointment and reluctant patience colored her voice. How could a little girl pack so much meaning into one small word? But Annie had always been good at letting her feelings be known.
She turned back to Missy. “If you don’t live here, where do you live?”
Even though they didn’t touch and he didn’t look directly at her, Wade felt the young woman stiffen. Why did such an ordinary question cause such a reaction?
“I’m staying here for now. And then...well, I’ll find something else.” Beneath the cheerful words ran a river of uncertainty that made Wade tighten his arms around Annie lest she feel it, too.
But he couldn’t prevent the child’s understanding. “That’s like us. We’re going someplace but I don’t know where. Only that Uncle Wade is leaving us and going...” She lifted her hands in a dramatic show of I-don’t-know.
The gesture made him ache. As did her words. If only he could give them specifics as to their future, but at this point, he had none to give. Please, God. Make their adoption work out. Sooner would be better than later.
Missy shifted slightly so she could give him an accusing look. He ignored her, gazing down at the floor. She needn’t think he acted selfishly. He had to do what was best.
Linette broke the tension as she announced her departure. “I need to go finish the meal preparations.” She put baby Jonathan in his cradle and headed for the kitchen. Immediately, the other ladies, including Missy, exited the room. Wade drew in a deep breath. The delicious aromas that had assaulted him as he entered the house now drew saliva from his mouth and growls from his stomach. The smells made it difficult to focus on anything else, until he felt Annie get up and start to follow Missy. Wade roped in his attention. “Stay here,” he said.
Missy turned, favored him with another of her accusing looks and continued on her way. Wade let her go without comment, deeming this a battle not worth fighting. Right or wrong, the woman was entitled to her opinion.
For the first time since he’d seen Missy in the room he sat back and tried to relax. But the smells of turkey and stuffing, ham and mincemeat made him miss Susan so badly he felt a sting of tears. Thankfully, all the other men had their attention on Eddie as he regaled them with a story about finding stranded cows in a snowstorm.
Wade’s stomach was kissing his backbone by the time Linette invited them into the dining room. “Children, you have a table in the kitchen. Daisy’s in charge. Be sure you mind her.”
The older girl, Daisy, who looked to be about thirteen, had a toddler perched on one hip and reached out her free hand to Annie. “Come on. It’s fun to sit at the children’s table.”
“Daisy is very good at minding the younger ones,” Linette assured Wade. “She’s Cassie and Roper’s oldest. With two brothers and a sister, she gets a lot of practice.”
The little boy named Grady signaled to Joey. “You wanna sit with me?”
And as easy as that, the two clinging children left Wade.
He wanted to call them back, but Linette waved everyone to chairs.
Somehow Wade ended up beside Missy. A glance around the table revealed they were the only single adults present, so he supposed it made sense to his hostess.
He forced himself to sit calmly as Eddie said grace, even though having Missy so close made his nerves tingle. He tried to cover it up by squirming about in an attempt to see or at least hear the children.
“Relax,” Missy said. “If Linette says it’s okay it’s okay.”
He nodded, though he wasn’t sure he agreed.
Linette spoke from the end of the table. “You couldn’t know it, but Daisy and her brothers and sister were orphans. Roper and Cassie adopted them. In fact—” she glanced about the table “—all these people have children who lost at least one parent.” She guided the passing of the food as she spoke.
Louise sat on the other side of Missy and leaned around her to speak to Wade. “Even little Chloe. Her father never had a chance to meet her. Now Nate is her father.”
The couples around the table smiled lovingly at each other, obviously content with their new relationships.
Wade filled his plate with turkey and stuffing, ham and green tomato chutney, mashed potatoes and gravy, carrots and turnips. He realized all eyes were on him. Had he taken too much food? But a glance about the table revealed every plate held a generous amount.
“Did I miss something?” he asked, silently acknowledging he had been interested only in the food.
Everyone slid their gaze to Missy and back to him.
“It seems like marriage would be the perfect solution for you, as well,” Linette said. “Both of you.”
He shook his head. “Oh, no. Marriage isn’t for me.”
Missy held up her hands. “Nor me.”
“Why not?” Louise demanded of her sister-in-law. “What’s wrong with marriage?”
“I didn’t say there was anything wrong with it. It’s fine if that’s what you want. I have other plans.” She dug into the pocket of her blue satin gown and pulled out a piece of paper. She unfolded it and showed it to Louise, who read it aloud, then stared at her.
“A secretary?”
“Using a typewriter.” Missy made it sound as if that made a world of difference.
“Where will you get the money to take this class?”
“I’ll earn it.” Her voice rang with determination.
“But—”
Before Louise could finish, Missy returned the paper to her pocket. “That’s what I’m going to do.”
Wade released pent-up air. Thankfully, there’d be no more matchmaking.
Every pair of eyes returned to him.
“I’m sure there are other prospects,” Linette began. “I heard a family moved in this fall with an almost grown daughter. I haven’t met her yet but by all accounts she is pleasant and hardworking.”
This must be the family Lane had gone to visit. Wade rolled his head back and forth. Even if he had any interest in marriage, the last thing he needed was a young woman barely old enough to leave her parents. Besides, Lane had his sights set on the young lady and Wade had no intention of being competition. “Marriage isn’t for everyone. And to provide for a family, a man needs a home. I have none. I’m a cowboy.”
“Look around the table,” Eddie said. “These fellows were homeless cowboys, too, until they found a reason to settle down.”
The conversation was thankfully dropped as people turned their attention to the bountiful food. Wade savored every mouthful even though the meal carried sorrowful memories of similar occasions spent with Susan and her family. But as Missy had said to Annie, his sister would want him to enjoy the day.
Beneath the rumble of a discussion about the new church, Missy murmured, “One would think two orphaned children would be enough reason to settle down.”
So much for thinking the topic had been abandoned.
Wade’s enjoyment of the meal turned sour.
Linette lowered her fork to the table. “Tell me, Wade, what are your plans for the children?”
He, too, lowered his fork, knowing his answer would bring more criticism from Missy. Not that it was any of her business. “Ma’am, I’ve been in contact with a Mr. and Mrs. Bauer from Fort Macleod regarding adoption.”
A collective gasp came from others at the table.
“I had hoped to hear from them by now because I have to leave almost immediately. I’ve agreed to look after a friend’s ranch while he takes a trip.”
A beat of silence passed before anyone responded.
It was Missy who spoke. “I guess you’ll have to take the children with you.” Obviously she knew that wasn’t his plan, but she meant to force him to reconsider.
“That’s not possible. I can’t take care of them and the ranch, too.” Before Missy could voice any more disapproval, before any of them could, he spoke again. “I need someplace safe to leave them until the couple comes. I hope...hoped they could stay here.”
Linette and Eddie looked at each other for a moment. Eddie answered Wade’s request. “We’ll discuss it later.”
With those words, he had to be content, though he could not relax with Missy’s heavy disapproval coming off her like a wave.
The main part of the meal ended, the dishes were cleared away and mincemeat pie served. Wade hoped the children were enjoying the dessert more than he was. Every mouthful was full of regret from his own heart and silent accusations from Missy.
Finally the meal was over.
“Everyone return to the sitting room. There are gifts for all the children,” Linette said.
Wade had begun to rise, but at that he sank back in his chair. He must find a way to draw Joey and Annie away so they wouldn’t be disappointed when they received no gifts.
Linette waved a hand to indicate he should join them. “There’s something for Annie and Joey, too.”
Missy waited at her chair as if to make certain he didn’t skip out.
He had no such intention and rose to follow her back to the other room. In a flash he saw that everyone had resumed their previous positions, which left him sitting at Missy’s side. He would have avoided the seat, but the room was crowded and he had no other option.
The children raced in and sat in a circle before the decorated evergreen tree next to the window.
One by one, Eddie handed gifts to the young ones. When it was his turn, Joey opened his package. “A ball for playing catch. Papa taught me to throw and catch.” He gazed at it, his lips quivering.
Wade would have gone to him, but wondered if the boy would find it embarrassing to be needing comfort.
Annie opened her gift, a sock doll with black button eyes, brown yarn hair and a pink cotton dress.
She stared at it and burst into tears.
Wade sat motionless, his heart shredding with shared sorrow. Before he could move, Missy sprang forward, sat beside the child and pulled her to her lap. “Shh, shh.” She rocked Annie in a tight embrace.
Finally the tears stopped. Missy returned to her chair, with Annie clinging to her like a sweater.
“I’ll take her.” Wade reached for his niece, but Missy shook her head.
“She’s fine here on my lap.” Missy’s eyes, too, were awash with tears.
Wade closed his eyes against a rush of wild emotions—a burning desire to comfort them both, a burst of fresh pain at his own sorrow and beneath it all, his unending sense of failure in not being able to give these children what they needed. And in not having seen how sad and desperate his late wife had been. The accusations hurled at him by Tomasina’s parents that it was his duty to see to her needs were no stronger than those from his own heart.
He never again wanted to experience such failure.
* * *
Missy held Annie as tightly as Annie held her. How well she remembered the first Christmas after her parents had died. The aching feeling that nothing would ever be the same, that no one would ever understand and love her the way Mama and Papa had. She and Gordie had gotten presents for each other—she’d bought him a new pocketknife she’d seen him admire in the store and he’d bought her a set of ivory hair combs. She hadn’t noticed them in any of the stores and wondered where he’d gotten them. It was much later that she realized he’d probably stolen them, and she’d never again used them.
She shook off the memories and flicked her gaze to the man beside her. She noted that his hands were curled so tightly the knuckles were white. From under her lashes Missy studied him. His expression revealed a mixture of emotions—uncertainty and sorrow.
He’d lost his sister. Of course he felt sorrow.
In her judgment of him she’d forgotten to take that into account. At the first opportunity she would correct the matter.
Annie cuddled close as the other children played with their new toys. After a bit, Joey left the others and scooted over to sit with his back against Wade’s legs. Wade rested his hands on the boy’s shoulders.
Missy smiled as uncle and nephew released tiny sighs and sank toward each other, giving comfort and consolation.
One by one the guests rose, gathered up their children and bade Linette and Eddie and the others goodbye. Louise and Nate excused themselves and took baby Chloe to their room. Only Missy remained beside Wade, with Annie on her lap and Joey at Wade’s knees.
Eddie and Linette approached Wade. “We need to talk.”
Knowing they meant to address Wade’s request to leave the children at the ranch, Missy struggled to her feet. “I’ll take the children into the kitchen. Come along, Joey.”
The child was too tired to argue and shuffled after her, but by the time they sat down at the table, his curiosity kicked in.
“They’re talking about us, aren’t they? Is Uncle Wade leaving us here?” The boy’s voice cracked, not only from fatigue. The poor child dreaded being abandoned.
Annie sobbed and tightened her arms about Missy’s neck.
She forced herself to take two slow breaths. How could Wade think of leaving these children? Yes, she understood he had a job to go to, that someone was counting on him to take care of their ranch. Yes, she understood he was an unmarried cowboy with no home. But the facts did not change her feelings. She knew what it was like to have people she cared about snatched out of her life, and to feel as if she was only an inconvenience to those who were left. She even harbored a suspicion that Louise had married her brother, Gordie, simply to protect Missy from Vic. The thought twisted through her gut. A nuisance and a burden.
Praying her voice would be firm and reassuring, she pulled Joey to her side. “Listen to me, both of you. Wherever you go, whatever happens to you, you are not alone. You have each other. And you have your mama and papa inside you.” She didn’t know how else to say that their memories of their parents would always be with them and always guide them. “And God is with you. He will never leave you nor forsake you. He is as close as your next breath. He sees what you need and He will provide it.”
Two pairs of dark eyes watched her, practically drank her in, taking the encouragement and assurance she offered.
“You can trust God no matter what. Can you remember that?”
Annie and Joey nodded.
The kitchen door swung wide. Wade stood in the opening, his eyes on her. “Missy, would you please join us?” He turned to the children. “You two wait here.”
Missy set Annie on a chair next to her brother, caressed both heads and smiled. “Remember what I told you.” She reminded herself of the same thing—God was with her—and followed Wade into the sitting room.
She felt the heaviness in the air around her as she sat down opposite Wade.
“What’s this all about?” she asked.
Linette answered. “You heard Wade say he was trying to find an adoptive family for the children.”
Missy nodded, her lips pressed together to keep her opinion to herself.
“We’ve asked him to stay until he makes those arrangements. For the children’s sake.”
“Quite so. They’ve had enough loss to deal with already.” Missy released the words in a rush and blinked hard to keep from piercing Wade with her challenging look.
Linette continued. “However, he doesn’t feel he can take care of them on his own.”
Eddie spoke at that point. “I won’t let Linette be responsible for them. Not when Jonathan is only a few days old.” The baby boy slept in her arms.
Wade cleared his throat and Missy’s gaze jerked toward him. So many feelings rushed through her—fear that he meant to give these children away, hope that it would give them a loving home and... Oh, yes, she meant to express her sympathy at his loss. Before she could say a word, he spoke.
“I would like to hire you to look after Annie and Joey until I can make other arrangements.”
She opened her mouth, but again he cut her off. “You can put the money toward paying for the secretarial course you want to take.”
She’d meant to say she’d gladly take care of the children free of charge, but his words reminded her that she needed funds to fulfill her plans. Still she did not answer him. Somehow to say yes felt as if she’d be giving approval to his plan, aligning herself with him rather than the children.
But if she said yes, she could spend time with them, help prepare them for their future and help them find enjoyment in their current situation.
“Yes, I’ll do it. On one condition.” She hesitated. Was she asking the right thing? “You—” she nodded to Wade “—spend time with them, as well.”
Their gazes held as they measured each other. Likely he wondered at her reason even as she wondered at his.
“I’m amenable to that.”
Eddie slapped his knees. “Then it’s settled. Things have a way of working out for the good of everyone.”
Missy wondered what he meant. She couldn’t see how things would work out for the good for Joey and Annie. They’d lost their parents and would soon lose their uncle and go to live with strangers.
None of them had any control over the future. But as she’d told the children, God would never leave them. If she could do one thing in the few days she’d have with them, it would be to make sure they believed that.
In so doing, she’d make certain they enjoyed their time at Eden Valley Ranch—even if it meant she’d have to interact with Wade Snyder to make that happen.
