Читать книгу Better Parents Ask Better Questions - Lindsay Boone's Tighe - Страница 4

I am not a parent, so how come I am writing a book on parenting?! I am sure you are intrigued not only by my interest in the topic, but would also like to know more about my credibility to be able to write a book on parenting! Well, let me tell you that I ‘fell into’ this book more by accident than good planning, but the more I have thought about writing it the more excited I have become, given that the parenting role is such an important one in our society.

Perhaps I should start by saying that my absolute passion in life is asking people Better Questions, in the knowledge that when I ask people Better Questions I know that this will enable them to find better answers. This passion has led me to have a desire to share the wisdom in using this skill that I have learnt over the years with as many people as possible, given that it is such an amazing life skill and a real gift to bring to the table in so many contexts.

My first personal experience of asking Better Questions came about when I took on a leadership role in the corporate world, where I was technically incompetent but had a real interest and passion for turning around underperforming teams. It was a very interesting challenge for me personally in that I was unable to fulfil the role in any way other than to ask Better Questions, and I have to say that this first experience of questioning more and telling less was quite magical for me – not only in terms of my own growth, but also in terms of what it facilitated in my team.

As a result of having quite literally ‘fallen in’ to a more questioning way of approaching things, I soon discovered that this was something that I wanted to learn more about, as well as do more of, and about 10 years ago I left the corporate world to further develop my skills and passion for asking those Better Questions. Since then I have not only become more practiced in the skill itself, I have also developed an absolute passion for training others in the skill, given that I know how much of a profound difference it makes in the world.

Whilst most of this training has been done in a workplace context, I have been most recently extremely busy training people who work in the aged care and health sectors, on the basis that the philosophy of asking rather than telling is not only far more respectful to use in these areas, it also is about enabling people to be empowered to make decisions rather than have others taking over and making assumptions about them.

It has been during the training of thousands of managers, nurses, aged care staff, community health professionals and case managers in the skill of asking Better Questions that it became clear that this skill is not limited to the work situations that they are in. Indeed, the majority of people have seen how the skill can be immediately applied in their roles as parents, and I have been so inspired to hear how they have used the skill in a practical sense, with the absolute knowledge that they know this has undoubtedly enabled them to now fulfil their parenting role far more successfully and competently.

This insight and inspiration has led me to the realisation that there will be many other people in the world who are looking for more guidance and support to enable them to be more confident in carrying out their parenting roles, and so the idea for writing this book came about. The more people with whom I have shared the idea to write the book, the more encouraged I have become about the need for parents to be able to ask those Better Questions. Whilst I certainly do not have the magic wand and cannot promise that the ideas I am about to share with you will provide all the answers you are looking for, I do know that this simple idea to ask more questions will have a profound impact on your quest to be a better parent.

So, I humbly request that you forgive my lack of parenting skills on the basis that I am highly competent in the skill I share with you in this book and, most importantly, recognise that it has the potential to have a profound impact on your ability to be a great parent, which after all is something that the majority of parents strive to be.

Throughout this book I use the terms ‘child’ and ‘kids’, and whilst generally I am talking about the age range of toddlers to late teens, the principles apply just as profoundly across all age ranges. My best advice is to use these skills with children from a very young age on the basis that you are instilling some foundational skills that can be built upon as your child matures into a responsible adult. The techniques shared throughout the book can be used successfully with all kids, recognising that there will be some subtle differences in approaches dependent upon their brain development, attention span and foundational ability to take responsibility for decision-making and actions. Of course, the skills absolutely apply to adult children, and as a parent who starts to use the skill of asking Better Questions with them, I am sure that you will be respected more for respecting them as adults.

As a final thought for my introduction, I trust that you will recognise that whilst this book is written in the context of parenting, by the time you have read it you will realise that being a Better Questioner in any aspect of your life, whether friendships, partnerships or work, will be a great thing to do. Indeed, everyone we interact with is far more amazing than they realise, and having the skill to release their amazingness is a beautiful life skill to bring to all contexts of your life!