Читать книгу Deadly Identity - Lindsay McKenna - Страница 11

RACHEL WAS SITTING in a curtained hospital cubicle with Jenny in her arms. Oddly enough, the hustle and bustle of the small Jackson Hole hospital made her feel more safe. After the ambulance had arrived and the baby had been checked over, Deputy Garner had asked her to go back with the ambulance crew to the local hospital. Clearly, he was worried about Jenny.

“Ms. Carson?” A young red-haired nurse came into the cubicle and smiled.

“Yes?”

“Jenny Hartmann has a clean bill of health. The doctor is signing the paperwork now.” She frowned. “Do you know where to take the baby?”

“She’s coming home with me, Dottie,” Cade said as he halted next to the slender nurse. He felt his heart expand for an unknown reason as he got his first good look at Rachel Carson. She sat in the chair, her legs crossed, the baby in her arms. Jenny was asleep despite the noise in the emergency room. The two looked as if they were mother and daughter. Despite the trauma, Rachel appeared calm and almost happy with the baby in her arms. Cade nodded to her and gave her a slight smile.

“Rachel has rented one of my parents’ cabins at the ranch. Legally, I’m Jenny’s guardian, and Rachel has agreed to be her nanny until I can get everything straightened out.”

Dottie nodded. “Sounds good to me. I’ll tell Dr. Sherman to put down your mom and dad’s ranch address and that you’re her legal guardian. I wasn’t sure if we needed to call in Child Protective Services or not.”

Cade rested his hands on his hips. “No, you don’t have to in this case.”

Dottie frowned. “It’s so sad, Cade. First Tom. Now Lily. Poor baby Jenny has no one.”

Cade felt grief moving in his chest. “Now she has me.” He’d just come from the crash site. Lily had been taken to the local morgue where the medical examiner would proclaim that she’d died of massive head trauma. There was so much to do. He needed to call Tom and Lily’s adoptive families and friends to set up a funeral. Cade hated having to make the calls on Christmas Day. They would never have another Christmas without remembering that phone call, but he couldn’t put it off. Tom was already buried at a cemetery outside of town. At least now, he and Lily would be together.

Placing her hand on Cade’s damp nylon jacket, Dottie said, “I’ll be right back.”

Cade nodded and pulled the white curtain closed over the front of the cubicle. He felt strangely excited. Maybe it was a release from the day’s tragic circumstances. Maybe it was because finally, after two awful years, someone needed him again. Bringing a chair with him, he went over to where Rachel sat with the baby.

“How are you doing?” he asked, searching her face. Cade began to realize how beautiful Rachel Carson really was. She had an oval face with softly arched eyebrows, full lips and a straight nose that looked a bit crooked at the top. Cade wondered how she’d broken it. As a deputy sheriff, he was used to studying people’s faces. In some cases, it had saved his life. There was nothing threatening about Rachel. It was her large, expressive blue eyes that drew him. In them he could see both a flare of hope and utter exhaustion.

Rachel smiled a little. “Just a little stressed out but glad that Jenny is okay. That’s what is really important here.” Cade Garner’s presence was palpable. He was tall, broad-shouldered, and in his sheriff’s uniform, the black holster and all the other gear, he looked like a dangerous, modern-day warrior. Heart beating a little harder, she couldn’t stop looking into his narrowed gray eyes. This man missed nothing. For a moment, a sizzle of panic grabbed her stomach. At some point, he might put her FBI cover in jeopardy. But then, Rachel sternly told herself, this man knew nothing about her nor would he ever guess that she was in the witness protection program. Her résumé and references were solid.

Reaching out, Cade barely touched Jenny’s soft black hair, fuzz across her skull. “Poor little tyke. She got a raw deal, losing both her parents.”

He was so dizzyingly close that Rachel inhaled sharply. There was a quiet, tightly sprung power around Cade. She saw it in his work-worn hands, his steady and earnest gaze. There was nothing meek or citified about this man. For one wild moment, she wanted to reach out and sift her fingers through his damp, short black hair. Just once, she yearned to touch a man who was both tender and strong—as Cade seemed to be. She watched as he gently curved his hand across Jenny’s tiny head, his tough sheriff-deputy demeanor melting away.

Rachel witnessed a miraculous change in Cade’s face as it transformed from an unreadable cop’s expression to a man who clearly loved this baby. His mouth had been tense, and now, it softened and curved in a subtle smile.

“Have you ever noticed how sweet and clean a baby smells?” He lifted his head to meet her blue gaze.

“I know. I love it,” Rachel whispered.

Cade felt himself getting lost in the family scene—tailor-made for future heartbreak. He had to get a grip fast and keep this semiprofessional. Sitting back, he lifted his hand away from the baby. “I had one of the firefighters drive your rental car into Jackson Hole. I’d like to drive you and Jenny to my home on my parents’ ranch north of town. My captain has given me the rest of the night off because of the situation with Jenny. As her legal guardian, I’ve got paperwork to fill out at the courthouse the day after Christmas.”

Rachel looked up in wonder. “That’s right…it is Christmas, isn’t it?”

Cade looked at his watch and said gruffly, “Just another day as far as I’m concerned.”

The abruptness, the tightening around his eyes and mouth spoke volumes, but Rachel didn’t know exactly how to interpret it. Maybe Cade didn’t celebrate Christmas. It wasn’t her business to ask. Everyone kept secrets. God knew, she had enough of her own to handle. Looking down at Jenny, she said, “Dottie said that Lily Hartmann fed her goat’s milk, that she’s allergic to cow’s milk.”

“That’s right,” Cade said. “Well, no problem there because my folks have some goats and Lily was getting the milk from their nannies. So, I’ll just go out and milk them daily and put enough in the fridge so Jenny has a good supply. That’s an easy problem to take care of.”

“I’ve never milked a goat,” Rachel admitted. She almost slipped by saying that she’d come from a farm in Iowa and had milked cows. Compressing her lips, she vowed not to allow anything of her past to leak out. Cade would have to think she was born in New York City and let it go at that. Still, something about Cade made her want to share details about her life—her real life. She was on dangerous ground with the deputy.

He straightened and smiled tiredly at her. “I have a house at the family homestead. The cabin you’ve rented won’t be that far from my house. How about we get you to your new home? I can take Jenny and care for her and you can get yourself a hot bath and go to bed.”

Alarmed, Rachel stood as he did. “But she needs feeding every two to three hours.”

Cade noted the concern in her upturned face, couldn’t help looking at her fully. She was slender and about five foot seven inches tall. She had a model’s body, not curvy at all. “I think I can handle taking care of Jenny. I want you to rest. Tomorrow morning, at nine, if you’re up and moving around, come on over to my house. I have the day off and can help you get oriented with Jenny.”

Rachel nodded. Cade pulled the curtain aside and she went with him to the nurse’s desk where he signed some papers. As she kept pace with him, worry ate at her. Even though Cade seemed self-assured and capable of taking care of the baby, she felt anxious. Holding Jenny close, Rachel followed Cade out the sliding doors and into the night. It was snowing heavily now, the sounds around them muted. No one was up and about this early on Christmas morning.

Cade led Rachel to the cruiser and placed his hand on her elbow to help her climb in. For a second time, he felt as if an angel had dropped out of the night to help him with the infant. But she would just be Jenny’s nanny—nothing else. With that thought, he shut the door and walked around the cruiser. Despite the shock of Lily’s death and his sudden fatherhood, some of the emptiness deep inside him diminished. Why? He was too exhausted to consider answers right now.

Cade climbed into the vehicle. After going through the many radio calls, he then drove them out of the slushy parking lot and headed out toward the main area of Jackson Hole. Beneath the streetlights, Cade saw Rachel’s profile go from dark to light and back. There was an incredible vulnerability to her. And her eyes haunted him. Cade could swear he saw fear in their recesses. Fear of him? More than likely, she was still in shock. Anyone witnessing such an accident would have a hell of a reaction. He’d seen so many he’d grown a bit immune over the years. In his line of work he couldn’t afford to be emotionally over-wrought. He had to think through his feelings and do the right thing at the right time. Yes, law-enforcement people had to have that edge.

“Where are you moving from?” Cade asked as he turned onto the empty main street.

Instantly, Rachel’s gut tightened. Trying to keep her face unreadable, she stuck with her cover story. “New York City.”

“This is quite a departure from city life,” Cade murmured. He slowed for a stop light. The snow flakes continued to fall in lazy, twirling motions. At least this wasn’t a blizzard coming through, and for that he was grateful.

“Uh, yes it is.”

“What drew you here?”

Rachel cringed inwardly. Of course a deputy would ask a lot of questions. The FBI witness protection program had drilled her new life and past history into her until she could recite it in her sleep. “I felt a need to get out of the city. I wanted to explore the west. It’s called to me for a long time. The family I’d worked for moved back to Italy. It seemed like fate that I make good on my dream.” She managed a smile. “Besides, I love animals and I’ve never seen a moose. I thought this would be a good place to see them.” None of that was a lie, thank goodness. For whatever reason, Rachel hated lying to Cade. He seemed so steady, reliable and honest that her conscience raged at her.

“You moved here because you hadn’t seen a moose?”

Disbelief was evident in his low voice as well as shadowed in his eyes. Rachel shrugged. “I was getting tired of the big city. I yearned for those wideopen spaces. Cowboys have always intrigued me. Call it a sudden, illogical move.” Yeah, right. Dirk Payson had broken out of prison and was hunting her. She could say nothing. And Cade would have been the ideal person to confide in. He might have gotten information on Payson through the law-enforcement sharing policies. He might have a photocopy of Dirk’s face on his desk.

“Are you given to spontaneity?” he wondered, worrying that Rachel might be gone in a few months and he’d have to look for another nanny for Jenny. Cade could not stay home and take care of the infant. He had a job and crazy hours, as well. He liked Rachel and she appeared reliable and calm. Just the type of person he’d envisioned to help care for Jenny.

“Oh, not often. The only reason I did it was because my job had ended.”

“Phew,” he said, “I was worried that you’d up and take off in a couple of months.”

“No,” Rachel said. “I won’t leave you or Jenny in the lurch.”

“That’s good to hear,” Cade said, relieved. “A deputy sheriff’s hours are always changing. We have three shifts in a twenty-four-hour period. I don’t want to think of Jenny left alone for eight hours.”

“She won’t ever be left alone,” Rachel promised him. Looking down at the baby girl sleeping soundly in her arms, Rachel silently vowed never to abandon her.

“I’ve got so many logistical problems running around in my head right now,” Cade said, pointing at his brow. “Your cabin is about two hundred feet away from my home. I figure you could stay at my house the nights I have the graveyard shift.”

“That would be fine. Or I could bring Jenny over to the cabin to stay with me.”

“I’d like everything for the baby in one place. You’re going to be busy enough without carting stuff back and forth.”

“It’s settled, then,” she said.

Cade’s mouth quirked. Her sable hair was shoulder-length and thick. It framed her face and brought out the assets of her eyes and lips. There was nothing to dislike about her. And for whatever crazy reason, he liked her—personally. “Your full name is Rachel Carson. Right?”

“Yes.” Rachel didn’t ask why he asked. She knew. If she were in Cade’s shoes, she’d be doing a background check. He’d find her new life and information. All she had to do was remember it precisely because this was a man who missed nothing. And yet, in an odd way, Rachel felt safer with him than she ever had since Dirk had abused her. She sensed that Cade was the kind of man who would protect his woman and his child at any cost to himself. In a way, she mused, he was like the knights of old going around the countryside protecting the weak, the old and the poor.

“Where did you get your education as a nanny?”

She told him.

“Is that a dream you’ve had? To be a nanny?”

Rachel watched as they left the Christmas-decorated town behind and climbed a long hill devoid of all traffic. “I love children. Nothing makes me happier than being around them.”

Cade smiled. “Well, you’re Providence dropping into my lap. I’m grateful that you’ll be Jenny’s nanny. So much has happened so fast.”

Rachel was gazing down at Jenny and her loving smile made him ache. When she looked up and met his eyes, Cade felt at a momentary loss for words. Rachel seemed like the perfect nanny for Jenny, and this belief shook him deeply. Truth was, he found himself drawn to her as a woman. He tried to shove those feelings away.

“I’m in shock over all this, too,” Rachel admitted in a soft voice. “I’m exhausted and yet, I feel like I’m still on pins and needles.”

“It’s the accident,” Cade soothed, watching the twin headlights stab into the black night. At the top of the hill the highway would straighten and level out. The snow began to ease. “You’re still in shock. I’ve got tomorrow off and the next day. Come on over when you feel like it.”

“You seem to know a lot about Jenny.”

Cade sighed. “Tom and Lily Hartmann were my best friends. Tom died six months ago, murdered by drug dealers. He was a deputy sheriff. Before he and Lily were married, they asked me to be godfather to their future children. If anything happened to them, I’d be the guardian. They had asked me because they came from adoptive families. Their adoptive parents supported their request. I said I would. I didn’t realize it would really happen.”

“Oh, dear,” Rachel murmured. Without thinking, she reached out her hand and laid it on his broad, capable shoulder. When she realized her intimate action, she quickly withdrew her hand. “I’m so sorry. You must be in shock, too. It’s awful to lose people you love.” How well she knew. She’d lost her mother and brothers. It hurt not to be able to call them, to see them or to visit the farm where she’d grown up happy and secure.

“I’m okay,” Cade said gruffly. “But my focus is on Jenny. After Tom died, I was over at their home nearly every day. I helped Lily take care of Jenny as much as I could because I know Tom would have wanted it that way.” Cade shook his head, his hands tightening momentarily on the wheel. The wipers provided a calming effect on him as they whooshed slowly back and forth across the wet windshield. “I just never figured things would go the way they have. I couldn’t believe it when I drove up in the cruiser and recognized Lily’s SUV. I—this is just a crazy time in my life, I guess.”

Rachel sensed the deep emotions barely under tight control within him. “At least Jenny is unhurt. And she’s safe with you. She’ll have a real father in her life and that’s important.”

Running his fingers through his hair, Cade grimaced. “Instant parent. I just never thought of myself in those parameters, Rachel.” And he gave her an intense look. “I’m just glad you showed up. I’m sorry you had to see that wreck. I know it will haunt you for some time to come. Jenny’s obviously happy and feels safe with you.”

“That’s a good sign,” Rachel agreed, gently touching Jenny’s soft, unlined brow.

“It is,” Cade said with a genuine sigh. “My mother, Gwen, runs Quilter’s Haven, a small fabric and quilting store in town. My father, Ray, runs the hundred-acre cattle ranch and I help out on days when I’m off duty. So, we’re stretched thin.”

“Yes, you are.” Jenny stared at his hands. No wonder they looked roughened by hard, constant work. He was a cowboy when he wasn’t a deputy sheriff. His work ethic made her proud of his responsible lifestyle. “Jenny has a father who will truly care for her in the long term.”

Cade nodded. “Yes, but becoming a parent suddenly is jarring. My parents are going to be shocked, too. They’ll be happy to help with Jenny, but they can’t care for her, either.”

“That’s why I’m here,” Rachel said, meaning it. Again, she saw the relief in Cade’s shadowed eyes. His law-enforcement facade had dropped away. She was privy to the man, not the deputy. And what she saw called to her on such a deep level that it surprised her. Since the abuse by Dirk, Rachel had undergone years of therapy. She recognized the extent to which she was an abuse survivor. It had left her wary of men in general. She’d had a few men who were pals, but never a lover. Rachel wondered if she would ever be able to love a man. The scars from her marriage with Dirk Payson had been a prison sentence in so many ways.

“I’m sure glad,” Cade said, smiling. “Once we get things set up, you’ll need a car, won’t you?”

“I will, yes. In New York I never needed one. I can drive, but it was nice not having a car payment.”

“Maybe I can help you there. My dad has a small pickup truck he no longer uses.”

Rachel laughed. “A pickup? I’m sure I can get used to driving it. That would be helpful because then I don’t have to have a car payment on top of everything else.”

“I’ll make sure you get paid properly,” Cade promised her. He made a right onto a road that was nothing but muddy ruts. “This is the way to the Moose Head Ranch. It’s about a mile down this bumpy road, so hold on to Jenny.”

The blackness was complete around them as he carefully threaded the car through the muddy ruts. The snow had stopped falling and as Rachel looked out, she realized that her life was changing remarkably and with shocking swiftness. And yet, a sweet joy thrummed through her heart as she held Jenny in her arms. It wasn’t her baby, but that didn’t matter. Her other jobs as a nanny had been with older children. Closing her eyes for a moment, Rachel savored the sense of utter safety she felt despite the turmoil in her life. Was it due to Cade’s nearness? She thought so. How handsome he was. And then, Rachel wondered if he was married.

Opening her eyes, she glanced at his hands on the wheel. He didn’t wear a wedding ring. A lot of men didn’t so it meant nothing. Wetting her lips, she said, “For some reason, when I first saw you out there tonight, you looked married.”

Cade’s mouth thinned. “I was married,” he said abruptly. Realizing he’d snapped at her, he added more softly, “I don’t want to talk about it right now.”

Taking his unexpectedly grim answer in stride, Rachel realized that was a closed topic between them. Yet, as she looked over at him, she saw a terrible grief in the deputy’s eyes. What was that all about? She didn’t dare ask at this point.

“I’m sorry,” she said. Her apology seemed to deflate the tension that had suddenly ballooned between them. Cade was like Fort Knox, Rachel decided: closed up and private.

Cade’s mouth thinned. “I’m the one who should apologize. I was married,” he said, voice strained. “Abby and my baby girl, Susannah, were killed in an auto accident two years ago.”