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CHAPTER FOUR

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RACHEL WAS TOO STUNNED to assimilate Cade’s awful admission. He had lost his family! To some degree she understood his pain, like a knife in the heart. No wonder Cade looked so anguished.

His mother and father, Ray and Gwen, met them at Cade’s sprawling three-thousand-square-foot single-story log home. It was nearly one in the morning. Rachel felt exhausted and yet super alert as Cade opened the car door and helped her out.

Gwen, a woman in her fifties with curly, short silver-and-black hair, led Rachel into Cade’s home. Her gray eyes were sharp and filled with care. Ray went to the kitchen while Gwen took Rachel and the baby toward the back of the house.

“I don’t know if Cade told you, but he lost his wife and daughter two years ago,” she said. Motioning down the hall to an open door on the right, she added, “This was Susannah’s nursery. Cade just hasn’t had the heart to touch it yet. Little Jenny will claim it now. Come on in, I have everything ready.”

Rachel saw the pale pink nursery with the crib and everything a mother would need to care for her infant daughter. The crib even had a baby quilt inside. Gwen took Jenny from her. The infant was just waking up, her eyes half-open.

“Cade said you were going to be the nanny,” Gwen murmured, gently unwrapping Jenny and placing her beneath the colorful baby quilt. “There.” She straightened and turned to Rachel. “I think you should stay in the guest bedroom. There’s a door between it and the nursery.” She motioned toward the wooden pine door.

“But I was going to stay at the cabin I’d rented.”

With a brusque nod, Gwen turned out the light. A wall light shed enough of a glow into the room so that no one would trip or fall. “Yes, I know. Right now, Cade’s in shock. He’s lost Tom, his best friend. Now, Lily.” She hustled out of the room and left the door partly open. With a gesture, she took Rachel to the next room. “He’s going through a lot and he’s going to need help. My husband and I don’t feel he’s in the right state of mind to be caring for this baby yet. We need your help for now, Rachel, if you’re okay with that?”

Entering the bedroom, Rachel nodded. “Of course. I’m the least affected by all of this, so I’ll focus on Jenny’s care, feeding and bathing.”

“Excellent,” Gwen said, giving her a warm smile. She pointed to the queen-size bed. “This is a nice large room. If I were you, I’d keep the door open to Jenny’s room.”

“Oh,” Rachel assured her, “I will. I’m so wired right now, I can’t sleep, anyway.”

“Hmm, aren’t we all.” Placing her hands on her hips Gwen looked around. “I’ve put towels, wash cloth and soap on your dresser over there. The bathroom is right across the hall. Cade’s master-bedroom suite is on the other side of the nursery with a master bathroom. This will be all yours.”

“A hot bath sounds good,” Rachel said. She loved the wedding-ring-design quilt across her bed. The curtains matched the fabric in the quilt. The entire room, even the floor, was knotty pine. A braided green-and-white area rug completed the rustic look.

“I’m sure it does. Just one more thing and we’ll leave you alone. Jenny needs goat’s milk.”

“Cade told me.”

Nodding, Gwen lifted her hand. “Let me show you where we keep the bottles out in the kitchen. And then we’re going home to get some sleep after this crazy night.”

Rachel liked Gwen’s brusque, efficient manner. In some ways, she reminded her of her own mother, Daisy. Both women were short and lean. Gwen’s hands were reddened and chapped. Farm and ranch work took a lot out of the owners and Rachel knew that from experience. Gwen walked quickly to the kitchen.

Cade looked up. He’d been speaking to his father, Ray, at the counter.

“I’m just showing her where Jenny’s goat’s milk is,” Gwen explained, opening the refrigerator.

Rachel noticed the weather-lined face of Ray Garner. He was as tall as his son, but more wiry. He wore a blue-and-white-plaid long-sleeved shirt, jeans and a pair of well-worn cowboy boots. His gray felt Stetson lay on the round table at the end of the kitchen. Gwen slid her hand around Rachel’s arm and pulled her closer to the fridge.

“We milk our goats twice a day. Cade was keeping a good supply for Lily and would take the bottles to her every morning before he went to work. Lily was very health-conscious and Jenny was thriving on goat’s milk.” She shut the fridge and led Rachel to the cabinets near the kitchen sink. “Lily was very old-fashioned. She insisted on glass milk bottles, not the plastic ones. They’re in here.” She pointed up to them in the cabinet. And then in a lower tone, Gwen added, “Abby, Cade’s wife, believed in glass bottles too, and that’s why we have them.”

Heart aching, Rachel realized that Cade had not removed his lost family from the house. Could she have done if it had happened to her? She didn’t think so. “That’s fortunate,” she told Gwen, taking some of the bottles and placing them on the countertop. “Did Abby put the goat’s milk in the bottle and then set it in a pan of water on the stove to heat?”

Grinning, Gwen patted her shoulder. “You’re very bright. Yes. Neither Abby nor Lily believed in using the microwave. They worried it might change the cellular structure of the goat’s milk. So, this might be old-fashioned, but we know it’s completely safe for the baby.”

Rachel nodded. “I was nanny for a little boy from India, and his mother insisted on glass bottles and no microwave, either.”

“Whew, that’s good. I don’t have to train you up in this, then.”

“No, you don’t.”

Patting Rachel on the back, Gwen said, “Listen, this is all you need to know tonight. And by the way, there’s nothing but cotton diapers, no disposables, in the nursery. You okay with that, too?”

Rachel grinned. “No problem. My Indian family was the same way.”

Gwen rubbed her hands. “You and I are going to get along just fine! Go get your bath and hit the hay. I’ll pour some goat’s milk in three bottles and put them in the fridge. That way, when Jenny wakes up hungry in an hour or two, you can stumble out here and get it ready for her.”

“Sounds good,” Rachel said. She walked over to Ray Garner. “Mr. Garner, I’ll say good-night for now. It was nice meeting you.” She held out her hand to him.

Ray nodded, gave her a tired smile and shook her hand. “It’s nice meeting you too, Ms. Carson. I don’t know what we’d do without your coming like a rescuing angel into our lives right now.”

“I’m not an angel by anyone’s definition, Mr. Garner,” Rachel protested. Not after the awful mistakes she’d made.

Ray Garner gave her a kind yet appraising look. Cade was also watching her, making her even more self-conscious. In the middle of so much upheaval, she hated to admit how attracted she was to him. She tried to ignore the feeling and managed a smile. “Cade, I’m going to get a bath and Gwen wants me to stay in the guest room next to Jenny’s nursery. You okay with that?”

“That’s fine,” he said. “It’s a better idea under the circumstances. I appreciate you doing this. Mom said that in about a week, she can transfer you over to your cabin. You don’t have to stay here forever. Once I get legalities out of the way, I can start taking care of Jenny at night when I don’t have duty.”

“We’ll sort this all out as we go along. Good night….”

CADE SAT ON THE EDGE of the bed. He’d just taken a tension-releasing hot shower. As he dried his hair with the white terry-cloth towel, he listened to the quiet of the house. With Jenny and Rachel nearby, the ranch home felt different. He tried to figure out why, but couldn’t.

Reeling from exhaustion, he noticed it was nearly 2:00 a.m. He’d made the call to Lily’s adoptive family earlier, which had left him feeling worse. He padded into the bathroom, hung up the towel and turned off the light. Slats of moonlight filtered into the huge master bedroom through the venetian blinds.

After climbing into bed, Cade pulled up a quilt that had been made by his mother as a wedding gift to Abby and him. His hearing automatically keyed to the partly opened door to the nursery. When Abby had become pregnant, Cade had cut a door into the nursery from their bedroom. Closing his eyes once he punched the pillow into place, Cade remembered the many nights that they would take turns getting up to care for Susannah when she cried out in hunger. Sleep deprivation had been a way of life, but he’d never minded that.

It was happening all over again, and now Cade felt groggy as the night’s events deluged him. What luck to find Rachel. His father had been right: she was an angel in disguise, regardless of how she saw herself. A sigh tore from his lips as he buried his head more into his pillow. It was Christmas morning. What kind of gift had just dropped into his life? Emotions churned through Cade, bringing up the past, the remnants of grief he still felt on some nights in the quiet home. Now, his house was a home once again with a beautiful young stranger and Lily’s baby. What kind of strange, twisted fate was this? Cade couldn’t stop the onslaught of his grief over Lily’s death. Jenny would never know her mother. And suddenly, he was a father without a wife. He had legally sworn to take care of Jenny. Cade wasn’t sure what these Christmas gifts meant. In minutes, he dropped into a deep, badly needed sleep.

THE PHONE WAS RINGING, and Cade jerked awake. He fumbled for the landline on the nightstand. Bright sunlight burst around the wooden venetian blinds.

“Garner here,” he muttered, rubbing his eyes to wake up. Usually the sheriff’s department used this phone to get hold of him when he was off duty. Tossing off the blankets, Cade swung his bare legs out of bed. His feet landed on the warm sheepskin rug next to the king-size bed.

“Cade? This is Gary.”

Blinking, Cade pushed his hair off his brow. Gary Henderson was the commander of the sheriff’s department, his boss. “Yes, sir?”

“Did I wake you up? It’s ten o’clock. Merry Christmas, by the way.”

“Late night,” Cade mumbled thickly.

“Yes, that’s why I’m calling. I wanted to make sure little Jenny was okay.”

That was like Henderson. He was a father of two teenage daughters. His wife, Tracy, was a first-grade teacher. “Fine…the hospital doctor said Jenny was fine.” Another scent filled Cade’s nostrils: that of bacon frying. And then he groggily recalled Rachel was here, in his home. Was she out in the kitchen making breakfast? That brought back a sheet of warm memories to Cade.

“Good to hear. Well, listen, you’re going to have court papers to file the day after Christmas because you’re Jenny’s legal guardian. Plus, I’m asking two other deputies to go over to Lily’s home. We need to locate her will and find out what her requests were and try to fill them now that she’s gone.”

“Yes, sir, I know.” And he filled him in with the calls to Lily’s adoptive parents. “There’s a lot on my plate right now.”

“I’m authorizing you a week’s leave with pay, Cade. Your life has suddenly taken a new road and there’s a lot you have to get in order.”

“Thank you, Captain. I really appreciate that.”

“No problem. I guess in one way, Jenny is a Christmas gift to you. If there’s anything you need, just let me know. We’re here to help.”

Grateful, Cade hung up the phone, and felt as if he needed another twelve hours of sleep. He didn’t hear any noise from Jenny’s nursery. Knowing Rachel was up, he grabbed his dark blue terry-cloth robe and pulled it on. He opened the door and walked into the nursery, but Jenny was gone. Probably out with Rachel in the kitchen. Standing there, Cade realized he had to get dressed. He couldn’t just waltz out there like this. Rachel wasn’t his wife. She was an employee.

He turned and went back into the master bedroom. As he pulled on a pair of jeans, blue socks and a blue T-shirt with the words Teton County Sheriff’s Department on it, Cade couldn’t ignore the bubbling happiness simmering in his heart. Abby had always made him breakfast when he’d had the day shift. She had been one hell of a cook. And now he smelled bacon frying once again. More warmth filled his chest.

As crazy as his world was right now, Cade couldn’t ignore the contentment he felt. It was a completely unexpected emotion. Since Abby and Susannah’s passing, he’d felt less than whole. Less than a man. Just a robotic nomad wandering the jungles of life without any real passion or focus, with no dream to work toward. As he finished combing his hair, shaving and brushing his teeth, Cade realized darkly that he’d stopped dreaming after their deaths. Now, the dreams had returned. How odd, how…wonderful.

RACHEL HEARD CADE COMING into the tiled kitchen. It was easy to hear the scuff of boots on the polished pine floor that led into the sunny yellow room. Turning, she saw Cade saunter through the archway. There were dark circles beneath his eyes. How different he looked from Dirk. Cade Garner was clean, neat and shaven. All the things Dirk wasn’t. The contrast was startling as well as powerful.

“Good morning,” Rachel called from the stove.

Cade nodded and saw she had brought Jenny out in a portable bassinet that sat on a chair at the pine table. “Good morning. How’s our girl?” He walked over to see the tyke sleeping soundly. Rachel had changed her clothes and now had her in a green flannel onesie. He tried to pay attention to the baby, but he wanted to stare at Rachel.

“She just gobbled down about four ounces of warm goat’s milk,” Rachel said, smiling as she put the last strips of the fried bacon onto a paper towel. “She’s doing fine.”

“Done her business?” Cade asked, tucking the corner of the baby quilt down a little.

“Oh, yes, that, too. She’s a good girl.”

Lifting his head, Cade studied Rachel. She looked fetching in a pair of cranberry slacks and a long-sleeved pink sweater, with her sable hair tied up in a ponytail behind her head. His body went tight on him. Surprised, Cade straightened and said, “Good.”

“You look exhausted,” Rachel said. She pointed to the table. “I figured you’d be up sooner or later. Would you like some breakfast?”

The table had been set with the white china plates and flatware. The salt and pepper shakers were nearby. “You didn’t have to do all of this,” Cade said. “I never expected it.”

Shrugging, Rachel opened the carton of eggs next to the stove. “I’m here. I have to eat. Why not cook for two instead of one?” Besides, that was what she’d done in her former life: cooked for two. It felt good to do it again. “How do you like your eggs? And how many?”

Moving over to the stove, Cade saw she had found a red-and-white checked apron and had tied it around her waist. His mother had sewn that for Abby. “I’ll take three eggs scrambled.” He went to the toaster and opened up the whole-wheat loaf. “Toast?”

Rachel smiled. “Yes, two slices, please.”

Cade liked the simple partnership that had naturally sprung between them. “You got it,” he said. Out the kitchen window he could see the new snow across the backyard and beyond into the empty cow pastures. The sun was bright, the sky an amazing turquoise color above the rugged Tetons off to the right. Things were looking up. How could they not after what they’d witnessed yesterday?

He brought the butter out of the cabinet and placed it on the table. Going to the fridge, he turned and asked, “Do you like jam on your toast?”

“I do. What kind is in there?”

Searching, Cade leaned down and looked. “Some strawberry and a bit of apricot.”

“I love apricot.”

“Apricot for the lady,” he murmured, pulling it off the shelf.

“I’ll bet you’re a strawberry-jam guy.”

Grinning, Cade said, “Does it show?” He took both jars from the fridge and shut it with a nudge of his hip. When he looked up, her eyes were warm with laughter. There was an incredible ease between them, as if they had known one another forever.

“Mmm, you just remind me of a country-boy type,” Rachel said, breaking the three eggs into the black iron skillet. She grabbed a fork, broke the yokes and rapidly mixed them all together.

“Ah, I see,” Cade said, his mouth lifting. “What does a strawberry-jam man look like?”

She grinned. “Like you, I suppose. As an artist I see the colors, connections and symbols between things.” And because of her abuse from Dirk, Rachel had become hyper-alert and missed nothing. Brenda had told her she had post-traumatic stress disorder. It came from feeling so threatened that she feared for her life. And although several years had gone by without such a threat, the hyper-alertness never left. It was always there, like a frightened animal on the verge of running away in order to survive a coming attack.

“So, cowboys and deputies are strawberry-jam men?” He ambled over and poured himself some coffee. Rachel already had a cup of her own next to the stove. He was interested in how she perceived him. Still, Cade reminded himself that he was going to do a background check on her. Over the years he’d learned never to judge a book by its cover. As he leaned against the counter and watched her scramble the eggs, he hoped the report would come out clean. If it did, then he could trust his eyes…and his heart.

“I guess so,” Rachel said with a shy smile. The way Cade stared at her made her feel incredibly feminine, which was new to her. There was no question Cade Garner was a fine-looking man. Handsome in a rugged, outdoors sort of way, with straight brows above his intelligent gray eyes. The way he slouched comfortably against the counter—that lazy kind of masculinity beckoned strongly to her. Would she be able to keep these new feelings at bay while working for him?

Cade noticed she wouldn’t often meet his eyes. She was shy. Maybe she was an introvert by nature. He supposed that could account for her demeanor. “Are you okay being here in this house with me?” he asked her.

Rachel’s hand poised over the skillet for a moment. Startled, she asked, “Why…yes. Is anything wrong?” She scooped the scrambled eggs onto the plate he’d brought from the table.

“No, no, everything’s fine. I realize we’re strangers and a lot is being asked of you out of the blue. A woman might feel uncomfortable with a man she doesn’t know, more so sleeping in the same house with him.”

“Thanks for your sensitivity,” she said. Breaking two more eggs, Rachel quickly scrambled them for herself. “I always had my own apartment in New York City but sometimes I’d stay overnight at my employer’s home when they were out of town. I’m okay with the arrangement.” Cade couldn’t know that she’d awakened at 7:00 a.m. feeling joyous and safe. Two emotions she hadn’t felt in a long, long time. And Rachel knew it was due to that protection that emanated from Cade like a powerful beacon. That and the baby. For Rachel, Christmas had given her the one thing she yearned for the most: a baby to care for. It didn’t matter that Jenny wasn’t her biological child. Just getting to take care of a baby fulfilled her in a way she would never be able to put into words. Maybe, too, it was because of her large, tight farm family in Iowa.

“Thanks,” Cade said. He put the toast on his plate and loaded two more slices into the toaster. “So, if I’m a strawberry-jam man, then that makes you an apricot-jam woman. Right?”

Laughing softly, Rachel brought her scrambled eggs over to the table. Cade positioned himself next to Jenny’s bassinet and Rachel sat down opposite him. “I don’t know. I hadn’t really thought of myself in that way.”

Buttering his toast, Cade studied her. Rachel’s cheeks were flushed, almost as if she were unaccustomed to this kind of attention. Either that or she was hiding something. He realized upon closer inspection that sable was not her real hair color. She was more a blonde. “I hadn’t, either,” he chuckled.

The toaster popped. Rachel stood and retrieved the browned slices. When she sat back down, her expression was more serious. “Today is Christmas.”

“I know. Merry Christmas. Bet you didn’t think it would be like this, did you?”

She buttered her toast. “I feel like I’m in some kind of dream.” She looked out the window. “And your ranch is like a beautiful picture-postcard to me. This area of the country is truly breathtaking. If you take out yesterday, it’s a merry Christmas for me.”

As he salted and peppered the steaming pile of scrambled eggs on his plate, Cade felt a wonderful familiarity settling over him. Rachel was bright, quick and easy to talk with. Suddenly, breakfast was something special once more. And with baby Jenny sleeping between them, Cade swore he felt giddy. He hadn’t felt this way since his family’s death. “Well,” he said, “at least you didn’t wake up this morning thinking you were in a nightmare.”

Rachel forced a smile. Cade would never know about her nightmare. Slathering a thin layer of apricot jam across her toast, she murmured, “Oh, no, this is a dream. A wonderful one.”

One that Rachel wanted to last forever. But could it, with Dirk Payson out to kill her?

Deadly Identity

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