Читать книгу Finally, You And Me - Lisa Harrison Jackson - Страница 10

The minute Maya and Bryant agreed to renew their vows, one of the first people Maya called was her friend Margaret Cade. Margaret owned an exclusive boutique, where she sold her original creations. Her styles were so popular that her list of clients consisted of several high-profile community figures and celebrities.

Alexa’s eyes widened when Maya stepped from the dressing room in a champagne-hued, strapless silk gown with elbow-length satin gloves. The skirt was long and fitted with a twisted knot in the back that gave it a bustlelike appearance.

“Well, what do you think?” Maya asked, noticing Alexa’s awed expression in the three-way mirror.

“It looks great on you,” the salesclerk commented.

Alexa nodded in agreement, “Maya, that dress is tight.”

“It is!?” Maya cried out in horror. “It’s a size six. I hoped that I wouldn’t gain any weight.”

Alexa and the young salesclerk looked at each other and burst out laughing at Maya’s misunderstanding.

“I’m sorry,” she apologized through her laughter. “You have got to forgive my sister. She’s been out of the loop so long she kind of lost touch.” She didn’t want to explain that tight was slang for nice.

Maya still wore a look of confusion until Alexa assured her the dress was just fine. The ensemble was complete with an elegant rhinestone tiara and a pair of matching silk mules with a clear heel.

The bridesmaids’ attire turned out to be silk midnight-blue camisoles with matching floor-length, A-line skirts. Alexa thought they were beautiful and was grateful that her friend didn’t pick anything extravagant for her bridal party.

“You are going to knock Bryant off his feet!” Alexa announced as they exited the boutique.

“I am so nervous. Can you believe that after nine years of marriage, I have the nerve to be nervous?” Maya said as she laid both dresses across the back seat of the truck. She smoothed out the plastic so there were no folds to prevent wrinkling.

“Yes, I can,” Alexa replied, turning forward in her seat. However, her comment was for a different reason. The possibility of Alexa coming face-to-face with Darius for the first time after nine years made her nervous as ever.

“Could your anxiety be Darius-related?” Maya asked, eyeing her out of the corner of her eye as if she had been reading her mind.

Alexa’s silence answered the question.

“Alexa, I was wondering when you were going to get around to Darius being the best man at the wedding. I hope you are okay with it, considering.”

“You guys want him in the wedding, too. What can I say? It’s your wedding,” she replied, hoping that her tone and posture gave off an air of indifference.

“Now, now,” Maya soothingly replied. “I know that there’s animosity on both your parts, but maybe you two need to get it over with by facing your fears and talking it out.”

“What is there to talk about, Maya? Darius told me all that I needed to know years ago.”

Alexa had set aside her pride and reached out to him. Just thinking about that dreaded phone call made her wince. His words stung just as sharply today as they had then.

They had been apart for almost a year. She was settled in her job at Marks-St. Claire and was living in an apartment of her own.

It was a Saturday evening and Alexa was stretched out on her sofa sipping a wine cooler while flipping through the channels on the television.

Who would have guessed that she would be home on a Saturday evening? She loved to party, but since coming to Denver, she didn’t know where to go let alone who to go with. Although she had met some good people in Denver, no one could replace her friends back home.

As a result, she opted for a date with the television. Before settling in, she poured herself a glass of the fruity mixture.

She began flipping through the channels, not finding one thing that caught her attention for more than a few minutes. Suddenly, her eyes came to rest on the telephone. She wished she had someone to call. She entertained the idea of calling Maya, but she had just talked to her the night before. When they talked, Maya had asked if there was something wrong. Although she denied it, she knew that if she called Maya at that moment, she would surely suspect something. Besides, she and Bryant were out celebrating Maya’s new job as a beat reporter for the local television station. And if she knew her friends as well as she thought, celebrating would mean a highly charged romp in the sack.

With a sigh she picked up the telephone to call her mother, but then thought again and quickly slammed the phone down before her mother answered. Her mother had been acting quite strange. Alexa thought it was pre-menopause. Whatever it was, she couldn’t deal with her right then. Her brother Justin called one day talking about her going on this crocheting rampage having draped the beds, chairs, tabletops and toilets in every color imaginable.

Finally, her thoughts came to rest on Darius. She wondered if he had the same number. There had been many times when she wanted to call him and apologize, especially during those times when she felt lonely. When it seemed like the world was against her and all she wanted to do was press her face against his sturdy chest and cry. But there was no Darius at home waiting with open arms to lick her wounds. Besides, the shame of leaving him the way she did still hung over her head like a storm cloud.

Now after a year, she felt she could talk to him. Denver was okay. She had been right about Marks-St. Claire. Already she was promoted to editor’s position. She wanted to let him know that her decision was a good one and that leaving, though not in the manner in which she did, was the right thing to do and maybe, just maybe he would understand and forgive her.

So, she slowly dialed his number. The phone rang several times before the answering machine picked up.

“You’ve reached Darius.” His speech was strong and mature. She smiled at the sound of hearing his voice again. “I’m sorry, I can’t take your call—”

The greeting cut off with a screech, and suddenly a male voice cut through the message. “Hello!” Alexa’s heart began to thud rapidly. “Hold on while I turn off the machine.”

She was a bundle of nerves as her frozen hands trembled while trying to grasp onto the phone.

“Hello!” he repeated. He sounded somewhat cheerful, not somber, for which she was glad.

Alexa took a deep breath and lightly whispered, “Hey, stranger.”

“Who is this?” Darius asked slowly, his voice laced with suspicion.

“It’s me, Darius, Alexa.”

Silence hung between them like an iron curtain.

“What do you want?” he finally huffed after several minutes.

“Hey, is that any way to greet an old friend?” she teased, going for the lighthearted approach. Her heart was beating so rapidly, she wondered if he could hear it as well as the quick nervous breaths she tried to contain.

“Friend?” he threw back harshly. “I’d hardly call you a friend.”

“Darius,” she sighed. “I know how you must feel—”

“You don’t know a damn thing about how I feel!” he cut in. “Why are you calling me anyway?”

“I just wanted to tell you how I’m doing.”

Her heart sank when he began to laugh sarcastically. “Do you honestly think I care?”

“I hoped that we could talk.”

“Talk about what?”

Darius’s responses were so full of bile that it made her want to hang up in his face. She expected some kind of lashing, but thought he would at least be civil given the feelings they had once shared.

“About us,” she stammered. “About what happened to us?”

Her answer caused Darius to rear back in laughter. She couldn’t make anything of it because she wasn’t used to him behaving in such a way. She sat there in silence through his amusement, hoping that it meant she was getting somewhere with him. When he finally caught his breath, his response turned ice-cold.

“Alexa, I don’t care about what happened anymore. In fact, as far as I’m concerned nothing did. And for the record there is no us, never has been and never will be. So, if you are sitting alone in your house flipping through your little black book in search of an old flame to torture, just bypass the R’s. You did it once before and that we both know you are really good at!”

The next thing she heard was ringing in her ear from the slamming of the receiver.

“He was so mean, so ugly,” Alexa stated after recalling the story to Maya. She hadn’t shared their conversation before now.

“Have you ever thought that his words could have been said out of anger?”

Alexa shrugged. “Whatever the case, it’s been said and was buried years ago. I don’t want to revisit that chapter in my life and I prefer if you didn’t either. Although I may have some misgivings about being here, I will be civil for you and Bryant’s sake.”

“Alexa,” Maya began, but Alexa cut her off with a firm shake of her head. Finally, Maya gave up and the two rode home in silence.

As they approached the house, Maya gasped, but Alexa pretended to hear nothing. She was firm on her stance of not wanting to discuss the issue any further.

Had she known anything about the owner of the black Chevy Suburban parked in the driveway she would have prepared herself, but it didn’t provide her with any clue. The secretive smirk Maya flashed should have hinted at what was to come, but it too had passed without comment.

Still silent, the two women went inside the house.

“Honey, I’m home!” Maya called from the kitchen.

“We’re in here, May!” Bryant shouted back from the family room. Maya led the way and Alexa humbly followed. As soon as she entered the room, her eyes widened. Sitting there surrounded by the girls was Darius.

Alexa felt as if her feet were glued to the hardwood floor. Darius gazed up at her looking every bit as handsome as he did back then and more. Neither of the two said anything, as if they both were tongue-tied. Little Sasha, who sat on Darius’s lap, pulled his bearded face to hers, nuzzling her face against it. The innocent gesture brought back to Alexa’s mind memories of herself in the same position.

It was Monaye who broke the awkwardness of the situation when she ran up to Alexa and hugged her waist.

“Auntie,” she exclaimed with a bright smile, pulling Alexa’s arm. “Say hi to my Uncle Darry.”

Alexa allowed the little girl in all of her innocence to make the first move for her. “Hello, Darius.”

“Alexa,” he returned. The cold tone in his voice mirrored the equally cold look in his eyes, causing Alexa to turn away with a shudder.

Bryant and Maya exchanged glances.

“So when did you get in, Mr. Darius?” Maya asked, breaking the tension. Alexa stood by and watched as Maya pranced over to the man who stood to give Maya a hug.

“Just this afternoon,” he replied over her shoulder, his eyes never leaving Alexa’s face. She averted her eyes to the floor. However, her attention was restored by Maya’s next question.

“Are you going to stay with us?” Maya asked.

Alexa’s breath caught at Maya’s invitation. It was a suggestion followed by awkward silence. She couldn’t bear to stand before him now; how could she withstand four days in the same house?

Her eyes flashed in Darius’s direction. He sarcastically laughed in reply. “No thanks. I don’t think there’s room enough for all of us.”

Alexa caught on to the double meaning that was intended and rolled her eyes.

“Nonsense,” Maya retorted. “We have plenty of room.”

“I think it’s for the best that I say at the hotel,” Darius continued.

Maya was about to challenge his response when Bryant intervened by slipping his arm around his wife’s waist. “If that is what you want, D, we understand.”

“But…” Maya started in.

“May, if he says he can’t stay, we shouldn’t press the issue,” he quickly interjected in an obviously firm tone.

A wave of warmth permeated Alexa’s collar. She knew Darius’s reasons for not wanting to stay at the house were because of her being there. As far as she was concerned, she was not about to let him take a potshot at her.

“Yeah, Maya, let the man go,” she piped up. “It’s apparent that he doesn’t feel comfortable with me around and frankly I don’t care to be in his company either.” With that comment, she did an about-face, picked up her shopping bags and marched upstairs to her room.

Once behind the confines of her door, she let out an irritated growl. Seeing Darius had taken her by surprise. A rush of complicated feelings that even she didn’t understand had surfaced.

Alexa knew that it was inevitable that their paths would cross, but she didn’t think it would be so soon nor did she feel it would be hostile. They didn’t even say more than two words, when Darius came up with that lame excuse as if she were not even in the room.

She broke her pace to halt before the mirror above the dresser. “If there is one thing he will see it is that I am no longer an insecure twenty-two-year-old,” she promised in a huff. She gripped the edge of the dresser with both hands to calm her rapid breathing. Although his comments infuriated her, she was more angered by the fact that she couldn’t deny the power of his mere presence.

The years had been good to Darius. His handsome features were matured by a close-cut beard. He looked like he had put on some weight, in all of the right places, filling out his tall, athletic build.

Deep inside a little voice scolded her for letting go of the best thing that ever happened to her, but a louder voice told her it was for the better. After all, it was her decision to split up. The night of her big decision was as vivid as if it were yesterday.

Alexa had just received the job offer from Marks-St. Claire, a magazine publishing company located in Denver. Darius did not want to see her go, which he had expressed several times. The last time the discussion came up, the two were at home preparing dinner together.

“There are plenty of jobs in Detroit, babe,” Darius pointed out as he stirred the red sauce in the pot on the stove. “I know you’ve applied for some of them. Just give it time. Somebody will reply.”

“I can’t stay here forever, Darius. I need to know what it feels like to have a place of my own. I want to create my own bills and pay them. Marks-St. Claire is offering me a good salary with great benefits and stock options. Tell me, how can I say no to that?”

“With your talents, babe, I know you can find something just as good here. Why don’t you wait it out?” he tried coaxing, but it only made her increasingly frustrated.

“I can’t keep depending on you,” she sighed. Darius had been paying her bills after her work study job ended following graduation. “I have to make my own way.”

“I like taking care of you,” he assured her, wrapping her in his embrace and kissing the tip of her nose.

A wave of anxiety gripped her as her mother’s voice came to mind. Five years down the line, she didn’t want to be saddled with kids she wasn’t ready for. Nor did she want a man to feel like he was keeping her. As her mother said, her education was the ticket to a self-sufficient lifestyle. Marks-St. Claire was offering her that life. She wasn’t sure she wanted to chance a relationship with Darius that could be potentially wrong for them. If they were meant to be then they would come together again, she told herself countless times.

The decision to accept the position hung over her head like a dark cloud. To make matters worse, Darius had hinted around at marriage to sweeten the deal.

As a last attempt to keep her in Detroit, Darius had proposed to her after a night filled with passionate lovemaking. Lying in his protective arms, Alexa was glad that it was dark for it hid her tears. Darius felt the sobs racking throughout her body and had mistaken her tears of sorrow for tears of joy. While Darius slept with a contented smile on his face, Alexa placed his ring on the nightstand and slipped out of his embrace and essentially his life.

It seemed as though the taxi driver was an accomplice to her escape that morning as they sped down the expressway. She turned her tear-streaked face from the window to the driver with a questioning look. Was this supposed to happen? There was hardly any traffic about and he was driving like his life depended on getting to their destination.

It was when she noticed his slightly bobbing head and heard the reggae beat popping through an old transistor radio perched on the dashboard that she realized he was in his own world. She sank back in her seat and closed her eyes with Darius’s face haunting her silent reverie. How could she make him understand that it was the right thing for both of them? She loved him too much to mess up his life, but leaving was something she had to do. She knew that if she didn’t leave now, she never would. Her mother’s words rang through her mind. “Don’t tie yourself down before you’ve experienced life.”

For many years, her mother had preached that sermon to Alexa and her brother. However, the words were especially meant for her; she didn’t want her daughter to make the same mistakes as she did.

Alexa’s parents were married the summer following graduation from high school believing that it was the only thing to do because they were in love and were expecting their first child. After fifteen years of marriage, the two grew up and eventually grew apart.

Alexa made it a practice to never talk much about her family, so telling Darius how much her mother’s words impacted her decision never presented itself. Rather then reveal the dysfunction in her family, Alexa took the low road, journeying to a future she embraced and praying that fate would shine favor on her. However, when her eyes met Darius’s upon entering the room, there were no signs of fate being kind as animosity filled the air.

She sat on the edge of the bed.” I don’t know why I thought he would behave any other way,” she murmured to herself. “But nine years is a long time to hold a grudge.”

She was interrupted by a soft knock.

“Come in,” she called. She knew it was Maya coming to save the day.

She was right when her friend poked her head in. “Are you okay?”

Alexa nodded, and then laughed halfheartedly. “As okay as I can be.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You didn’t do anything, Maya,” Alexa replied. She noticed that her friend’s way of taking on other people’s problems had not diminished over the years.

“I should have left things alone.”

“Well, apparently he has some place to stay, so I wouldn’t worry about it,” Alexa replied. “Besides, you have other things to worry about.”

Alexa hoped she sounded convincing because she didn’t want Maya to worry about her or Darius.