Читать книгу Finally, You And Me - Lisa Harrison Jackson - Страница 9

The tears clouding Alexa’s eyes made it difficult to see the winding road ahead. Headlights from the approaching cars began to resemble starbursts in the distance, causing her to periodically slam on the brakes out of uncertainty of their precise distance. The day easing into the night only further impaired her vision.

With one hand on the wheel, Alexa pulled the car to the side of the road, and the other to wipe the tears from her eyes. Lord, she wished she could stop crying, but she could not. Earlier that day a coworker had come into the office, flashing an engagement ring. The happy announcement stirred up past memories, which had lain dormant over the years, and had haunted Alexa like a recurring nightmare. The pain was so real, like it was just yesterday.

What upset Alexa most was the fact that she had almost made it to the altar, not once but twice. Both proposals occurred at times in her life when her views and aspirations opposed that of her intended. The more profound relationship of the two came while she was in college. That one left a stain so deep that she could identify with the statement, “first loves always hurt the most.”

Alexa loved Darius, but felt she was too young to commit to someone for the rest of her life. She was barely out on her own and hadn’t accomplished anything that resembled success in life.

Her second failed attempt at matrimony departed on the heels of Sean Hardaway. Alexa met Sean at a Black Business Leaders Networking Social. Not only was he educated, handsome and successful, he was also cultured, sitting on the board of the local Museum and Cultural Arts Council. The two spent the whole evening huddled in a quiet corner flirting while comparing personal stories of their experiences in corporate America.

It didn’t come as a surprise when the successful singles united as a power couple. At the end of their second year together, they decided to take their relationship to the next level. Getting married seemed like the natural step to take since they were already cohabitating in Sean’s town house. Both were settled in their careers, making handsome salaries. Since they were approaching their thirties, they thought it was a good time to get married, considering that they wanted a family.

Alexa was proud at how they mapped things out: career, marriage and family in that order and actually got a rush from the envious looks that she got from other women who listened with envy to her self-centered rattling. They may not have verbalized their feelings, but she could see the wanting in their eyes whenever she talked about her fiancé and their elaborate wedding plans.

Alexa’s world came to a screeching halt two days before the wedding. She was enjoying a day of pampering at her favorite spa salon when she received a call on her cell phone from Sean. It was apparent by his slurred speech that he was intoxicated. A creepy feeling came over her. Her fears became real when he confessed that he couldn’t go through with the wedding. He stated that he didn’t want to ruin either of their lives by getting married.

Alexa was sure it was simply a case of prewedding jitters and after hanging up from him, she quickly called his best friend Glenn, who was also the best man, to talk some sense into him. Glenn located Sean at a gentlemen’s lounge, nursing a bottle of Hennessey, gazing up at the topless dancer gyrating before his face. According to Glenn, Sean told him that while he loved Alexa, he was not “in love” with her and because of that, he didn’t want to ruin things by going into a marriage doomed from the start.

Alexa dropped the phone when Glenn repeated Sean’s exact words later that evening. Not only was she devastated, but humiliated as well. The worst part was that she didn’t even get a chance to talk to him herself because hours following his confession, he left town “to get his priorities in check” as he put it, leaving her with the responsibility of explaining to family and friends that the wedding was off.

Her wedding day was spent in bed, crying while a variety of emotions surged through her like volts of electricity, changing as rapidly as the wind. She was affected physically as well, dropping more than twenty pounds in a two-week time frame. She also ended up cutting her hair short because the stress caused much damage to her otherwise healthy mane. Although she appeared to be strong on the outside, she was hurting inside. Eventually, she sought counseling because a sheath of depression had draped over her and wouldn’t diminish after a few months.

Her reminiscing was interrupted by a light knock on the window. She turned to look into the smiling face of a well-dressed older gentleman. “Are you okay?” he shouted against the howl of the wintry winds whipping around him as he tried to keep his leather cap on and his heavy leather trench coat closed.

Alexa rolled down the window. “Yes, thank you. I—I was…” She searched her mind for a lie to tell when she spied her cell phone resting on the seat beside her. She reached for it and held it up. “I was just making a call.”

He gave her the thumbs-up signal. “It’s good to see you young folks taking precautions.”

She exhaled when he walked away and waited until he pulled off before edging her own car back onto the road and heading home.

After her split with Sean, Alexa found a place to live. When one door closes, God opens another. A colleague was moving out of state and needed to sell her house immediately. Because of their relationship, she accepted Alexa’s offer. The purchase was quick and two weeks after completing the necessary paperwork, Alexa moved into her new home. Although she didn’t have much to start with, she managed to slowly fill each room with her personal style.

Her house, a three-bedroom brick traditional, was located on a quiet suburban block in Aurora. Since living there, she could count on one hand the number of times she had seen, let alone talked to her neighbors within a month’s time. However, she didn’t mind that because she liked to keep to herself anyway.

After gathering the mail from the box, she went inside. The small stack looked more promising than it actually was. There was nothing to get excited about—bills, a couple pieces of “dear resident” mail, and the weekly supermarket circular. The room immediately warmed up when Alexa flipped the switch just inside the kitchen door thanks to the rich gold and amber art glass Tiffany fixture hanging above. With a sigh, she placed the envelopes on the kitchen table, and headed for the answering machine on the breakfast bar to check for messages.

The flashing light on the machine indicated that there were four messages waiting. She pressed the button to rewind the messages before easing out of her pumps. While the first message began to play, she sauntered over to the stainless steel refrigerator to retrieve a large bottle of grapefruit juice. A part of her new commitment to good health included drinking at least two glasses of juice every day. She had read somewhere that grapefruit was a great antioxidant and aided in burning fat. When she first started her regime, her face screwed up from the bitter taste. However, over a short period of time she had acquired a taste for it.

Easing into a chair at the dinette table, she sighed with relief at the opportunity to rest her feet. The first message was from her hair salon calling to remind her of an upcoming appointment. The second was from her mother who wanted to know why she hadn’t called in a while. The third message was a hang-up, while the last caller was her best friend Maya. At the sound of her friend’s professional announcer voice, enunciating each word with such precision, Alexa scurried over to the machine. She caught the tail end portion of the message, “…wonderful news. Return my call as soon as possible.”

Alexa wondered what the urgency was about. Ideas began to fly in her head. She knew Maya couldn’t be pregnant again. As far as she knew, after their third daughter was born, Maya and her husband Bryant had accepted the fact that they would not be trying a fourth time for a son. Glancing at her watch, she picked up the telephone, hoping to catch Maya before she left the television station for the day.

The telephone rang twice before Maya answered in her usual professional tone. “Channel 12, this is Maya Renault.”

Sometimes it still surprised Alexa that her best friend was a high-profile news anchor for Channel 12 in Detroit. Because of her television status, Maya was regarded as a local celebrity and treated as such. People of various ages and ethnic backgrounds recognized her, as she graced their television set each morning and was known to be active in worthy causes in the community. Whenever she hung out with Maya during her visits to Detroit, Alexa was amazed by the red-carpet treatment her friend frequently received.

“What’s up, Mrs. R?” Alexa greeted, happy to hear her friend’s voice.

“Alexa?”

“No, Hillary Rodham Clinton,” Alexa sarcastically replied.

“Hey, Hill, how are things going with Billy boy these days?” Maya teased, once she recognized Alexa’s voice.

“Apparently not as good as things are going on there. I got your message. What’s up?” she asked, stretching her legs out on the adjacent chair.

“I’m getting married!” Maya blurted.

“But Maya, you’re already married,” Alexa reminded her.

“No, Bryant and I have decided to renew our vows on New Year’s Eve. After nine years of marriage we are finally going to have a real wedding,” she sighed dreamily.

Alexa refused to let Maya’s news rekindle her own insecurities that had risen earlier that day. It seemed like everyone was being claimed by someone. Even Maya’s husband was asking for her hand—again!

“That’s great, Maya!”

“I knew you’d be happy,” Maya exclaimed. “So when can you come?”

“Maya, I know you don’t think I can come? New Year’s Eve is just four days away.”

“And?” her friend replied matter-of-factly.

“You know how busy I am. Don’t you think I need more notice?”

“Maybe any person would need notice, but you are my best friend. I know regardless of how much notice I give you, you’ll be there. Bryant and I are counting on you. Plus, I want you to stand for me.”

Tears swelled in Alexa’s eyes. Maya and Bryant were two very special people whose lives she shared in years back. The three of them had been through a lot, giving each other mental, and when possible, financial support. In addition to hanging out and partying together, they at one time shared the same town house. Now the two of them wanted to reaffirm their love before God, friends and family and wanted her to stand again in their circle of love. She was touched by the request for her presence.

A tear slid down her cheek and before Alexa knew it, she was crying for a second time that day. “You know I would be honored,” she replied with a sniffle.

“Are you crying, Alexa Kirkwood?” Maya asked softly.

“I’m so happy for you both,” she admitted as she reached for a tissue. She blew her nose. At least somebody is happy.

A slight sense of panic hit Alexa as she realized her role in the wedding. As the maid of honor and best friend to the bride, she had to be there for Maya in a big way and she wasn’t about to let her friends down.

Immediately she began to run down her list of things to do in preparation for her trip. “I’m going to have to call my travel agent to see if I can get a cheap flight and I’ll probably have to beg De Angela to see if she can squeeze me in for an earlier hair appointment, probably get my nails done, too.”

“Alexa, Alexa, just get here. We’ll deal with those things later,” Maya assured her.

Alexa wiped away the warm tears settling on the rim of her eyes and exhaled softly. Here I go again.

There was something magical about taking early-morning flights that captured Alexa’s attention. The way the sun made an entrance against the dawn, transforming the skies from a purplish pink to a yellowish orange was like magic. Then to be so high above the floor of clouds, witnessing the rays stretching out across the endless heavens was like a warm invitation calming her sometimes restless spirit.

She needed to feel a sense of calmness as she was a ball of anxiety, trembling like a frightened cat. From the moment she received Maya’s call, the butterflies had not stopped fluttering around in her stomach. She couldn’t eat anything because the thought made her nauseous. The anticipation of confronting her past made her light-headed. A past filled with unresolved issues; one that involved Darius Riverside.

Upon hearing of Darius’s participation in the wedding, Alexa’s immediate reaction was to change her plans, but she knew she couldn’t do that. Especially since she promised Maya that she would be there for her. Although nine years had passed, she was surprised that hearing Darius’s name still caused her heart to race. Their relationship had been so close that sometimes all they had to do was look at each other and seemingly feel what the other was thinking. It was amazing to Alexa how they were so in tune with one another. Although they weren’t together for very long, Alexa had always felt as though their paths were destined to cross sooner or later. She always had a sixth sense about him.

Most important than the physical attraction was their friendship. Because of this, Alexa often wondered if she made a mistake by walking away.

Over the years, she often wondered what became of Darius. She never dared ask Maya because she knew her friend too well. Her nose for news would start sniffing around for hidden agendas or repressed feelings. Besides, she did not want Maya to start preaching to her about having let a good man go. Darius definitely possessed the qualities that would earn him that title, and Alexa accepted the consequences for not appreciating him early on.

She was sure Darius loathed her to the point that any thought of reconciliation, let alone a friendship, was out of the question. With that in mind, her sole purpose of attending the wedding was to support her friends, not run around fretting over an encounter with Darius. When it was all over, she would leave the following day and not look back.

The Detroit airport was more crowded than Alexa had anticipated, making her wish she had worn something other than the casual sweat suit. She guessed that the crowd of travelers was probably returning from spending Christmas with family and returning just in time to kick off the New Year in the Motor City. It didn’t take her long to spot Maya standing to the side, trying to keep a low profile in a brimmed hat, leather walking coat and a pair of jeans, chatting away on her cell phone.

With a mischievous grin, Alexa scurried out of Maya’s view, hiding behind a pole. She peeked at her friend, like a lioness stalking her prey, while at the same time trying not to draw too much attention.

Maya was so deep in her conversation that she did not notice Alexa slip past.

Alexa smiled and then, quick as a wink, zipped back in for the kill, pouncing on her unsuspecting friend with a big hug. Maya immediately let out a frightened shriek and pulled away, causing all eyes to fall on the two women.

“Alexa!” she shouted, relieved to see it was her friend and not some crazed fiend. She pulled Alexa to her for a hug.

Soon the two were crying and hugging like long-lost sisters. Passersby watched the two with curious expressions. A few could be heard wondering if that was indeed Maya Renault in disguise.

Minutes later, the two eased back from their embrace, smiling at one another.

“You re looking good, girl!” Maya affirmed as she walked around Alexa looking her up and down.

“Girl, you’re the one,” Alexa responded, smoothing down her hair.

Maya reached up and fluffed Alexa’s shoulder-length mane. “You really let it grow out, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, I got tired of using those irons every day,” she sighed. “I was glad when those layers finally grew out. With it being this length, I can pull it back into a ponytail when I get lazy.”

Despite her attempts at looking casual, Maya looked like she was ready to step out on some runway in her casual attire.

“Always looking good, Mrs. R,” Alexa commented.

Maya groaned. “I just hope that not too many folks recognize me looking like some vagabond out here.”

“Yeah, right,” Alexa scoffed as she draped her arm over Maya’s shoulders. “You hardly look like some vagabond and ya dang sure ain’t getting paid like one.”

Maya laughed. “Don’t be deceived, girlfriend. I have bills like everyone else. Plus, I have three children.”

“Speaking of which, where are my sweeties?” Alexa interrupted, looking around as they headed towards the baggage claim area. She had been fortunate to be named godmother to all three of Bryant and Maya’s daughters and wouldn’t trade the honor for the world. The girls were the closest thing she had to motherhood which satisfied that maternal instinct that popped up at least twice a year.

“Home, with Bryant,” Maya replied. “But they are all excited to see their Auntie Alexa.”

Alexa smiled as she pictured the three girls: six-year-old Monaye, the inquisitive one was very bright for her age and acted very much like the big sister she was to her two younger siblings: four-year-old Brielle and two-year old Sasha. Brielle was mild-mannered and nurturing with a very sweet disposition, while Sasha was independent, outgoing, a free spirit who loved to explore. All three were little darlings whom Alexa cherished as if they were her own.

Upon retrieving Alexa’s luggage, the women walked the short distance outside to Maya’s Cadillac Escalade and before long they were headed to the Renaults’ home in Southfield. It was Alexa’s first time seeing Maya’s new home and her jaw dropped in awe at the sight of the gigantic, three-story brick structure standing grand on the large lot surrounded by tall, stately pine trees out back. Tall, oak doors guarded the entryway and were nestled between two tall columns that reached up to the second floor. A large window above the door frame revealed a decorative chandelier as well as the banister of the winding staircase. Attached to the house was a three-car garage.

“It’s beautiful!” Alexa gasped as they pulled up the long circular drive. She was both impressed and proud of her friends’ success.

Maya smiled as she reached up to press the button on the garage door opener hanging from the visor. “Girl, God has been good to us.”

“Amen,” Alexa agreed as Maya eased the truck in beside a late-model, midnight-blue Jaguar. On the other side of the Jag was some type of small, sporty vehicle beneath a tarp. She guessed it was probably something that belonged to Bryant.

Bryant and the girls must have heard them arrive because before they could get out of the truck the foursome shot out of the connecting door to the house.

“Auntie!” the little girls shrieked happily. In a few seconds, Alexa was covered in tiny little arms. She gave each of them a kiss on the head and a hug before reaching up to give Bryant a tight squeeze.

“What’s up, big brother?”

“You,” he replied, giving her a tight hug.

Before she could reply, the ruckus from the girls swarming around them stole her attention and she gave Bryant an apologetic look.

“It’s okay,” he assured her, knowing how excited the girls were to see her. “We can talk later.”

Alexa smiled and refocused her attention on the girls. “My goodness, you girls have grown so,” she said, her loving gaze gracing each one of them. The last time she saw them, Sasha was only 10 months old and barely walking. “Guess what? I have presents for all of you.”

“But Auntie, we already got a present from you,” Monaye announced, hanging on to Alexa’s coat sleeve. The small party moved from the chilly garage into the cozy family room where yellow and orange flames danced in the fireplace.

“Those were Christmas presents, sweetie,” Alexa explained, with a loving smile. “I have something else for you.”

“Now you know they don’t need anything more,” Maya protested. All Alexa had to do was go up to their playroom and see what Maya was talking about. They had toys to last them a lifetime.

Alexa ignored Maya’s comment by assuring the girls that they would get their presents after dinner.

As promised, following dinner, Alexa distributed the one-of-a-kind, handmade rag dolls created in each of their likenesses. The girls loved them. Later after they were bathed and ready for bed, they also enjoyed Alexa’s animated bedtime story about three African princesses going to a royal ball.

When she had kissed them all good-night, she joined her friends in the family room where Bryant had just poured three glasses of Zinfandel. Maya carried in a tray of sliced cheese, crackers and fresh fruit and placed it on the table before them.

“You looking good, Alex,” Bryant complimented as he stabbed a toothpick into a cheese cube.

“I told her so, but you know how she is,” Maya added with a smile.

“Me? You both look great and I am definitely feeling the crib,” Alexa replied, kicking out of her sneakers. She took a seat on one of the plushy sofas, curling her feet beneath her.

The family room was cozy yet embodied a lived-in quality. A marbled hearth was the focal point where a pair of white slipper chairs accompanied two charcoal-hued love seats in a U shape. The white walls contained interesting pieces like mirrored candle sconces and black and white prints in boxed frames, giving the room a cozy yet elegant quality. Alexa marveled at the black baby grand that dwelled in the alcove of a floor-to-ceiling window.

Maya sank down beside Bryant on the opposite facing sofa and reached for a handful of grapes. “Yeah, girlfriend, it’s been a long time.”

Alexa took a sip of wine. “I know.”

“So how is Denver?”

“Same.”

“And your job?”

“Actually, it’s going quite well. I got a raise,” she proudly announced, holding up her glass for a toast. In her nine years at Marks-St. Claire, Alexa had been promoted three times. The most recent promotion was an upgrade to a corner office along with a staff in addition to a salary increase and heftier bonuses. “You are now looking at the managing editor of Mountain High magazine.”

“You go, girl!” Maya congratulated, touching her glass to Alexa’s.

“Hear! Hear!” Bryant joyfully added.

“Another toast is in order,” Maya continued. “Bryant is going into business for himself.”

“Congratulations!” Alexa said with surprise. She knew that Bryant worked in computers, but had no idea he was interested in venturing out into a business of his own.

“I can’t take all of the credit. D is taking the plunge with me. Since we are both handling some really good contracts, we figure we could merge forces, eliminate the middleman and bring in the bucks directly.”

He continued to discuss the plan, but his words fell on deaf ears. Alexa knew she heard him right when he said D. That was the nickname everyone called Darius except her. Her nickname for him had always been Darry. So, he was thinking about going into business with Darius.

Rather than comment about Darius, she continued conversing as if she hadn’t heard him drop Darius’s name at all. After getting up to speed on their lives, Alexa yawned, succumbing to jet lag and announced that she was ready to hit the sack. Maya showed her to the spacious bonus room located over the three-car garage that was accessible off of the kitchen.

Mirroring the rest of the grand home, the room was decorated with impeccable taste. The four-poster rice bed was elegantly decorated in sophisticated, camel-colored faux suede bedding. Paprika, butter- and coffee-colored pillows of the same material were neatly stacked against the headboard. Beyond a pair of shutter doors was the bathroom with separate garden tub and shower, which was also decorated in the same colors as the bedroom.

“Maya, this is gorgeous!” she said, eyeing the tub longingly. She looked forward to languishing in it amid lavender-scented bath salts.

“Actually I had you in mind when I decorated it.” Maya said as she stretched out on the bed. “I’m so glad you could come. I just wish it was you getting married.”

The look of disdain on Alexa’s face did not equal Maya’s glowing expression. “Keep wishing,” she smugly retorted as she leaned up against the dresser.

“Come on, Alexa, I know you want to get married and have some bay bays?” Maya chided.

Alexa raised her hands in surrender and walked away from her friend. “Maya, I’ve come to realize that what I want isn’t necessarily what I am going to get. If the Lord sees fit for me to have a family, He will bless me in His time. I’m not going to force things anymore.”

“Do think you were forcing things with Sean?” Maya asked, sitting up on the edge of the bed.

Alexa paused before answering. “Back then I probably wouldn’t admit it, but today—yes.”

“Why?”

“Because I thought I was ready for marriage and a family. You don’t understand the pressure that women my age have to endure. You and Bryant have been together since you were nineteen. If a woman is over twenty-five, and not married, or at least dating someone, people look at her as if something is wrong. Sean was a nice guy and I loved him as a person, but he really wasn’t somebody I could see myself spending the rest of my life with.”

“And you were willing to marry him knowing that’s how you felt?”

“Yes,” she admitted, taking a seat beside Maya on the bed. “I guess I was hoping that my feelings would change, but now my outlook is different. When I look at you and Bryant, I see something that I want in a relationship. You two are soul mates. You got each other’s back and the love and respect that you have for one another is apparent. Sean and I could barely live together without arguing.”

“Do you hate him for what he did?”

Alexa hesitated before responding, pondering the question for a few moments. She was more humiliated than anything. “I did at first, but I got over it when I realized that us breaking up helped me to understand what I really want in a man.”

“Which is?”

“I want a man who is not afraid of my success, who is my friend, who has my back, understands my dreams and encourages me to pursue them. I need somebody who can love me for me.”

“Sounds like a pretty special man,” Maya wistfully replied.

Alexa nodded. “I know. I also know that you don’t come across these types everyday, and this time I won’t settle for anything less.”

“Well then I pray that you find who you are looking for.”

A hint of sadness laced Alexa’s giggle. “No, I hope he finds me.”

Without comment, Maya leaned over and gave Alexa a tight hug. “I’m glad you came.”

“I’m glad I did,, too,” Alexa replied, pulling back. “Now go to sleep, blushing bride. We have lots to do in the morning.”