Читать книгу Seed - Lisa Heathfield - Страница 10

CHAPTER FIVE

Elizabeth has explained that I might not get another Blessing for a while, but gradually my body will adapt and then I will have them every few weeks. It’s a relief not to have the coarse slab in my underwear. Now I can swim again.

We see a glimpse of our lake through the trees. It’s beautiful today. The sun makes the water glisten and as we get closer and push past the leaves, we can see it all. It’s an almost perfect circle. The trees are stepped back slightly from the water, leaving the grass to run down to its edge. It’s shallow at first, but out in the middle you could never touch the bottom. Today it’s blue, shining off the sky. And as the heat tickles my shoulders, I know I want to jump in.

‘Race you!’ Jack shouts, pushing Kate and me aside, taking his shirt off as he runs. So we follow him, jolting the birds from the trees with our laughter.

‘Get him!’ Kate calls to me, as I throw down my bag and pull my shirt over my head. She catches up with him as he struggles with his trousers, jumping on him until they both crash to the ground. My new skirt is easy to take off and I pass them both, my bare feet feeling the dry grass changing to damp.

In my underwear, I can feel the heat of the sun on my back as I run, splashing, into the lake. The freezing water whips at my ankles, stings my knees. I stop and gasp, just as Jack skims through the air and dives into the water. When he surfaces, he’s a little way out.

‘Come on, Pearl,’ he shouts. ‘It’s easier if you’re quick.’ He ducks his head under again, curls his body, and kicks until he disappears.

‘Last one to the middle washes Kindred Smith’s underwear,’ Kate says from beside me. Then she’s gone, into the water.

So I go too. I breathe, tuck my head in and dive into the icy water. The shock hits my face, but it’s so amazing down here – with the water above and around me, the world dissolves into a low humming. It’s only me and the cold.

My head moves through the surface and so I breathe again, swimming until I reach Jack in the middle, where there’s no way we can stand.

‘It’s so clear today,’ he says. His shoulders break through the top of the water and his hands mirror mine as we turn them in circles to keep afloat.

‘It’s good that it’s sunny on our free day, isn’t it?’ Then I tip my body and lie flat on my back, my arms moving slowly. The sky above us is extraordinary, with not a cloud in sight.

I could lie like this and be happy forever.

There’s a shouting that murmurs at me through the water. Reluctantly, I lift my head and see that Bobby is now in the lake, his skinny arms reaching above his head, his hands clutching Ruby’s sandals.

‘Give them back,’ Ruby shouts.

‘I’ll go and help her,’ Jack says, before he starts swimming towards Bobby. His feet kick water over Kate’s face. She wipes her eyes, treading water all the time. We watch Jack’s strong strokes breaking through the lake until he gets to the shallow edge.

‘Enough,’ we hear him say, and he takes the sandals from Bobby’s hands. Kate and I swim over lazily to join him.

‘I’ll throw her sandals in myself if she doesn’t stop whingeing,’ Kate says, as the water gets shallow enough for our feet to touch the bottom. It’s sludgy between my toes. The mud oozes up like cold clay and I don’t like the feel of it, although I know I should. I imagine the bones of a dead man, buried just underneath my feet. I move quickly, as I want to remember only the touch of the water.

We get out, and Kate and I lie side by side on the grass. Jack sits next to us, facing away, looking to the lake. Drops of water sparkle on his skin. I’m surprised how strong his shoulders look. Time is changing him as well, but sometimes I wish we could slow it all down. If I could, I might ask Nature to halt the ticking of her clock, just for a bit.

‘Heather says I’m not allowed to go selling at the market for a while,’ Kate says, turning onto her elbow to look at me.

‘Why?’

‘Because she’s been looking at the Outside boys,’ Jack says, glancing over his shoulder and smiling.

‘Have you?’ I ask. ‘It’s dangerous, Kate.’

‘I haven’t.’ She sits up, squeezes drops of water from her hair and flicks it towards Jack.

‘Why else would they stop you going?’ he asks.

Kate leans back onto both of her elbows with a sigh. She tips her head back until her hair touches the ground. She’s been growing it for a year, since she officially became a woman. Jack looks away from her.

‘Kindred John says I’m not allowed to speak to them. So I asked him how I’m meant to sell the Outsiders our home-grown beans if I can’t talk to them. He wasn’t having any of it and now he’s stopped me going.’ She slumps down and swings an arm over her eyes. ‘Pig’s breath,’ she says quietly into her skin.

Jack and I don’t move. I’ve never heard Kate speak like that before, and about a Kindred. I don’t even dare look at her. I’m suddenly terrified that Papa S will come creeping out of a tree and strike us down. He’s everywhere. He sees and hears everything. Will she be punished for this?

‘Don’t speak like that again, Kate,’ Jack says quietly, without turning round. She doesn’t reply. She must know that, even for her, she’s gone too far.

We share our lunch with the children. Chunks of bread with slabs of cheese. A mouthful each of potato salad, leftover from yesterday’s supper. I bite my teeth through the skin of a small tomato and it pops and bleeds its pips onto my tongue.

‘Your shoulders are burning, Jack,’ Kate says. She goes to her bag as I wrap the leftover cheese in paper.

‘I’ll be OK,’ he says, touching his hot skin with his palms.

‘Papa S won’t like it if the sun scolds you,’ she says. ‘It won’t take me long.’ She kneels behind him, opens the bottle and pours some suncream onto her hands. I see Jack tense as she rubs the cream into his skin. He holds his head still, doesn’t move.

And that strange feeling is back, somewhere in me. Nerves in my belly, a sickness in my throat.

Then Jack stands up quickly. ‘That’ll be enough,’ he says and, without turning towards us, he runs and dives into the water and swims hard over to the other side.

When I look over at Kate, she’s got a smile on her face. She’s still kneeling, the bottle of suncream next to her, the imprint of Jack’s body in the grass between her knees.

‘Is he OK?’ I ask.

She laughs slightly and looks at me and I’m sure she shakes her head. I want to ask why, but a thread of distance winds quietly between us.

‘He’s fine,’ she says, before she turns onto her belly in the grass.

I lie on my back, feeling the heat of the day on every part of my body. Behind my closed lids, I see the red of the sun. I can hear Ruby and Bobby splashing and laughing. Somewhere in it all must be the sound of Jack.

I don’t think there’s ever been a more beautiful day.

You were torn from me. Your little beating heart taken from me. The soft touch of your newborn flesh disappeared.

I tried. I promise I tried.

‘I want to keep my baby!’ I screamed at them.

‘The baby belongs to Mother Nature. The baby belongs to all of us.’

No. My baby belongs to me.

I screamed and bit and scratched at them, but they turned to stone.

And they hid me away. Cut me from you.

But I am your mother. I am your mother.

I reach up and touch the cold window.

‘You are mine,’ I whisper through the glass.