Читать книгу Financial Care for Your Aging Parent - Lise Andreana - Страница 4

Not long ago, a treasured client of mine, Grace^[1], had missed three appointments at our office. She completely forgot about the appointments the first two times they were scheduled. The third time we rescheduled, my associate called to remind her, but she got lost on her way to the office. I booked a fourth meeting, this time at her house.

I was concerned about her, so during our meeting I asked if she would give me permission to call her two daughters, Linda and Mary, and share some information with them. She signed a letter I had brought with me, giving me her permission.

Tellingly, as we had our discussion, she could not recall Mary’s last name or telephone number. I called Linda and requested a joint meeting with her and her sister, and explained (without going into detail) that I had some concerns about her mother’s health.

The meeting went well, and at the end of our discussion outlining my concerns, I suggested two things:

1. Grace needed to update her will and power of attorney.

2. An appointment needed to be made for her to see a gerontologist.

Grace did both. The lawyer’s meeting came first, and they were able to complete the power of attorney and will with her. The gerontologist appointment came later, and confirmed my concerns: Grace was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease.

Grace’s story is not unique, and the steps her daughters have had to take since then are becoming more common. Her daughters are part of what we refer to as the “sandwich generation.” Recent trends show kids in their twenties are choosing to stay in the family home longer, leaving Boomers fearing that when they finally have a freshly emptied nest, they will be faced with taking on their own aging parents who will then require full-time care.

Your best years should be from retirement — generally between the ages of 60 to 80, and up to the onset of chronic illness. Yet, according to the Certified Professional Consultant on Aging (CPCA), these are the years where you are most likely to be called on to help with aging parents.

But wait a minute! Aren’t these the “golden years” you’ve been dreaming about? The years of travel and adventure, free from worry? Your children are grown and out of the house, and you get to enjoy the freedom from responsibility for others, right?

Most of us love our parents and have a sense of responsibility for them, so we want to do the right thing when it comes to their care. As Amy Adams’ character said in the movie Trouble with the Curve when her father (played by Clint Eastwood) asked why she was still there trying to help him through his health problems, “I feel this dysfunctional sense of responsibility to make sure that you’re okay.” If, like Amy, you are worried about your aging parents and their ability to care for themselves, this book is for you!

Are you wondering when is the right time to get help for your parents? Are you struggling with what the best time is to move them from home care to a long-term care facility? These are tough questions for any child to answer. I have often teased my own children that I want to get a tattoo with a “best before date” in big, bold letters, clearly instructing them on when it is the right time to place my infirm remains in a nice, warm, comfortable retirement residence at the first sign of senility. If only it were that easy.

This book is designed to help you balance the needs of your aging parents with your own lifestyle needs and retirement dreams.