Читать книгу Financial Care for Your Aging Parent - Lise Andreana - Страница 7

As a financial planner to retirees for more than 20 years, on more than one occasion I have asked my clients for permission to speak to their adult children, just like I did with Grace in the story mentioned at the beginning of this chapter. The purpose of those calls was to let their children know that I had reason to be concerned about their parents’ abilities. Missed appointments and getting lost on the way to our office are just some of the things that may point to a larger, underlying problem. Forgetting the name of their son-in-law or grandchild may be signs of a larger problem. By getting our clients’ children involved, we have helped some of our clients receive testing for, and confirm a diagnosis of, early stage Alzheimer’s.

If you are still unsure if it is time to step in, let’s help you identify where you are.

Gerontology specialists use two main measures when evaluating whether a person needs outside help and intervention. The first are the Activities of Daily Life mentioned earlier in section 1. If your loved one has problems with the following activities, then intervention is required:

• Incontinence

• Eating, and feeding oneself

• Getting in and out of bed

• Toileting

• Bathing

• Dressing

• Safety

The second list of activities, known as Instrumental or Intermediate Activities of Daily Life, are also essential when living alone:

• Managing finances

• Using the telephone

• Shopping

• Preparing meals

• Housekeeping

• Doing laundry

• Driving or using transportation

• Managing medications

Keep in mind, if your parents cannot maintain all the activities listed, that doesn’t necessarily mean they can no longer live independently in their own home; it just means they will require some support in order to do so for the time being.

While it may seem like the inability to do any of these tasks would be easy to spot, remember that it is difficult to notice many of these challenges unless you are living with the person. Simply asking for updates on the phone may not be sufficient as your parents may not want to worry you with the truth if they are having trouble. Acknowledge that as their child, you may not want to hear the truth yet either, as it means you will have to face some potentially scary health information about your loved one, as well as need to step in and take action. As scary as the truth may be, the sooner you know, the better.

Getting an honest picture of how your parents are doing requires a bit of detective work. Here are some things to look for the next time you visit their home:

• Observe how well they are dressed and their personal hygiene, especially when compared to how they typically looked in the past.

• Check the fridge and look into the level of food they keep on hand, and compare that with how frequently they are able to get to the store for more. Is it enough?

• Ask to see where they keep their medication. Compare the number of tablets in each bottle with the date the prescription was filled and ensure it is depleting at the correct rate.

• Make sure bills are being paid by checking for overdue notices, and seeing whether the phone, television, and electricity are all in working order.

• Check on levels of things such as laundry and garbage, and the cleanliness of their clothing, rooms, and bedding.

• Check that major changes haven’t happened without you knowing, such as the loss of their driver’s license, falls or injuries, or instances of getting lost.

• Ask for details about their social activities and take note of any social withdrawal behavior, such as no longer playing cards with friends or other activities they used to do regularly.

• Take note of any memory issues they exhibit, such as forgetting names of grandchildren or friends during conversation.

• Ask about their health. Sometimes they might not want to burden you with bad news, but if you ask a direct question about any new conditions they might have, or whether they’ve had to make any recent trips to the doctor, they’ll be more likely to tell you.