Читать книгу Mills and Boon Christmas Joy Collection - Liz Fielding - Страница 43
ОглавлениеPEOPLE WERE LOOKING at her. People were fixing their eyes on her and muttering under their breath. She’d been in the shops in the city centre on lots of occasions recently but she’d never noticed this.
Even Pierre in the baker’s shop wasn’t his usual friendly self. He hardly even made eye contact before he handed her a brown paper bag of baked goods and waved his hand at her attempt at payment.
It made her feel uneasy. She might not speak fluent French, but she’d always muddled through and felt welcome in Euronia before.
This morning had been so strange.
The thing that she’d secretly dreamed about for such a long time had finally come true. Waking up in Alex’s arms had been fantastic.
Stealing along the corridor with her dress clutched around her hadn’t been quite so fantastic. But she hadn’t been sure if any of the staff—in particular Rufus—might routinely go into Alex’s room to wake him.
There was still so much about the palace protocols she had to learn. And last night she hadn’t thought to ask Alex about any of these things—there had been far too many other sensations occupying her mind.
It had seemed so much easier to duck out and get back to her room to shower and dress. But once she’d got ready her stomach had begun churning again.
On one hand she’d wanted to go back to Alex’s room. On the other she’d wanted to give him a little space. And yet they had to talk about what would happen next. About Annabelle. About Sophia’s parents. All the things they hadn’t really focused on last night when they’d been in each other’s arms.
She loved him. She was sure of it. She just hadn’t told him yet.
Maybe tonight they would be able to re-enact the whole thing. Maybe she could tell him then. But the truth was as soon as Alex had started kissing her everything else had gone out of the window except the feel of his body pressed against hers. The touch of his fingers on her skin. The sensation of his lips on her neck...
The newspapers outside one of the nearby shops fluttered in the wind. Something caught her attention. It was the colour on the front page. The exact colour of one of the dresses in her wardrobe back at the palace.
Her feet were drawn automatically. Her hand was pushing back the fluttering pages.
Princess Ruby?
The words leapt out at her and she jumped backwards on the pavement. No. It couldn’t say that. Her heart was pounding in her chest. What on earth...?
She stepped forward again. Pushing the front page back and scanning the page. It was totally in French. She couldn’t understand what was written at all.
But she really didn’t need to understand. The picture said it all.
It must have been taken a few months before—just after she’d arrived. She and Alex were sitting at the café and her bright pink dress was fluttering around her—just as the newspaper pages were doing today.
But it was the moment that the picture had captured. That second when Alex had leaned forward and cradled her cheek. He was looking at her as though she was the only person in the world and she was looking at him exactly the same way.
That moment had literally been the blink of an eye. A tiny, private fragment of two lives captured for eternity for the world.
And it had changed everything.
It was printed alongside a picture from the ball. Ruby in her long red dress with diamonds glittering in her ears.
Some eagle-eyed journalist had found and printed a picture of Alex’s mother wearing the same earrings years earlier.
She couldn’t understand any of the words that were written. But she could understand the panic clamouring in her chest.
No. Just when things between her and Alex seemed to be heading in a perfect direction.
What was happening between them was private. It wasn’t for the world’s consumption. She felt indignant. She felt angry. She felt stupid.
Alex was a prince—at some point would be King.
This would always be the life of whoever he showed interest in. She was a fool to think otherwise. And this was exactly what he’d tried to warn her about.
She leaned back against the newspaper rack, breathing heavily. She was seeing tiny stars in her peripheral vision. People were staring at her and whispering. Her phone started to ring and she grappled with her bag to pull it out.
It was a number she didn’t recognise. ‘Hello?’
‘Ruby Wetherspoon? This is Frank Barnes from Celebrity News. We’d like to interview you.’
‘How did you get this number? This is a private number.’
‘We’d like to know about your relationship with the Prince Regent and the recent photos that have been taken of the two of you together. We understand that you’re working together. But it looks a whole lot more personal than that. Would you like to do an exclusive with us?’
Every word sent a chill down her body. For a few seconds she couldn’t even speak. Then, ‘No. Don’t phone again.’
She disconnected the call and looked around her. Alex. She had to talk to Alex.
Her phone started to ring again. Another unknown number. She pressed the button at the top, switching the whole thing off.
She put her head down and her legs on automatic pilot, walking back to the palace. She resisted the temptation to break into a run.
The warm sun was usually pleasant, but her face felt flushed and she could feel the sweat running down her back. The usually enticing smells from the delicatessen, the baker and chocolatier made her stomach flip over.
All she wanted to do was talk to someone—talk to Alex. Talk to Polly. Talk to anyone—anyone but a journalist.
Her legs were burning. The warm air didn’t seem to be fully filling her lungs. There it was in the distance—the pink palace. She reached the gates and crossed the gardens quickly. The driveway had never seemed so long.
When she finally reached the palace entrance the doorman barely glanced at her. Was that a sign of something?
As she stepped into the hallway she was aware of the absolute silence. Usually there was always noise from somewhere—talking servants, discussions between visitors, footsteps from people going about their daily business.
Today the whole palace seemed silent.
She turned on her heel and headed for the library. If she’d had an ounce of common sense about her she would have purchased one of those newspapers. Instead she was reduced to doing an internet search.
The amount of hits made her cringe. How many?
Her eyes widened as she read, and tears formed in her eyes as a horrible feeling of dread crept over her skin.
Pictures really did speak a thousand words.
If Alex had any doubt about how she felt about him, once he’d glanced at these pictures he—and the world—would know for sure.
If she was an ordinary girl, in an ordinary world, this might seem quite nice. The looks and glances in the pictures were reciprocal. She wasn’t just fawning over him. Their gazes were locked together—as if, for that second, they were the only two people on the planet.
Little moments, captured in time.
Tears started to roll down her cheeks. She’d tried to be so careful. She’d tried to be guarded. She didn’t want the whole world to know that she’d loved Alex de Castellane for the last ten years. It had taken her long enough to admit that to herself.
Things were good between them right now. Things were great. Annabelle was showing real signs of improvement. And Alex...
He was showing real signs of moving on. Really moving on.
Last night had been wonderful.
She clicked on another link. This time it was a red-top newspaper from England. It carried the same photographs as the others. But the text took her breath away.
Vitriol. Libel.
Ruby Wetherspoon had been plotting to get her hands on Alex de Castellane for years. She’d come to Euronia purely with the purpose of trapping the world’s most eligible bachelor into marriage. She was a devious woman with money on her mind.
No mention of Annabelle. No mention of her job.
She clicked on the next link. An exclusive from Maria Cochette, telling of how Ruby Wetherspoon had laughed at the way she’d tricked Alex into giving her his mother’s diamond earrings and said it was only a matter of time before she got a whole lot more. Apparently Maria had known right from the start what kind of woman she was—and Alex was still heartbroken after the death of his wife...he was vulnerable.
Ruby retched. Any minute now she was going to be sick.
This was all her own fault. She should never have crossed Maria Cochette last night. Of course someone like her would have newspaper contacts. The truth was Ruby had no idea how to handle people like that. She was unprepared for what she was up against—and it showed. She just wasn’t equipped to be part of this world.
The tiny little bit of backbone she’d shown last night had backfired spectacularly.
How many times had she picked up a newspaper or a glossy magazine and devoured all the headline news? She’d read about affairs, arguments, secret children, kidnapping, celebrity diets and drunken parties. Although she was sure it was sometimes blown out of proportion, she’d never really given much thought as to how much of it was actually lies.
She’d never given any thought to the fact that some of those people might be hurt by what was being written about them. She’d never considered it at all.
Not until now.
It seemed some of the papers had gone to extremes. One had tracked down an ex-boyfriend for a whole range of quotes about her that had been blown out of proportion.
She cringed. Luke wasn’t that kind of guy. He wasn’t malicious and she knew that. He’d just been blind-sided. But the words ‘I always knew she wouldn’t stay with me’ still hurt.
The truth was Luke had never really stood a chance against the memory of a guy he knew nothing about. None of her exes ever had.
She was feeling swamped. Overwhelmed. No one mentioned the kiss. No one mentioned the fact that Alex had kissed her in front of everyone and made it clear how he felt about her.
Maria Cochette claimed she’d hung over Alex all night—apparently her conduct had been ‘desperate and embarrassing’.
Other reports said the King and Queen of Leruna had been ‘horrified’ by her presence and had seemingly reacted with shock at the thought of Princess Ruby replacing their daughter.
Was this true? Had she maybe misread the whole situation?
Right now she didn’t know what was right and what was wrong.
Her eyes swam with tears. Reaction was overwhelming her, swamping her with emotions she didn’t know how to control.
Today should be a happy day. Today should be the start of a new kind of relationship with Alex.
Instead it was turning into the worst day of her life, with the world thinking she was some kind of sad, desperate woman who wanted to trap a prince.
Not a girl whose heart was filled with joy because she’d finally connected with the man she’d loved for ten years.
There was a noise behind her. Alex. His face was almost grey and the warm eyes she’d expected to see were clouded with worry. Rufus and another advisor were at his back.
‘There you are, Ruby.’ He walked across the library in long strides. ‘We need to talk.’
Today wasn’t supposed to be like this. He was supposed to be smiling. Taking her in his arms and telling her that he loved her.
But Alex looked distant.
She could almost see all her hopes and dreams disintegrating in front of her.
This was all her nightmares come true.
* * *
For a few seconds that morning everything had been perfect—right up until he’d woken up and found his bed empty.
Ruby was gone. He’d expected her still to be in his arms, expected to touch her soft hair and stroke her silky skin. Instead there had been a little dip in the bed where she’d lain.
He hadn’t had much time to think after that, because Rufus and the other advisors had arrived, their faces grim.
It had been more than bad news. Ruby had been painted as a villain across the world’s media. He guessed that jealous Maria Cochette had phoned most of her contacts to give the most skewed and inaccurate view of the evening.
His worst fears. People had painted his marriage to Sophia as a fairytale. No woman could live up to the aftermath of that. It was what he’d always feared and tried to protect Ruby from.
In his head, he knew exactly what he should have done. He should have introduced Ruby gradually to the world’s press. He should have made it clear she was no longer an employee. She was a friend. A family friend.
But his heart hadn’t been able to keep the slow pace required. He’d already waited ten years for Ruby. He didn’t want to wait for the media to catch up with him. He didn’t want to waste a tiny second. But his impatience had probably cost him everything.
This was all his fault. Totally his fault.
He should have spoken to Ruby about this. He should have spoken to his advisors. He should have prepared her, taken his time, treated her with the respect and love that she was due.
He was unworthy of Ruby. He’d failed her completely.
And from the look on her face she thought that too.
‘I went to the shops...I went to buy us breakfast,’ her words faltered. ‘I know that they have everything in the kitchen, but I wanted to get something special—for us.’
Her voice was shaky and her eyes were strangely blank, as if she was disengaged. As if she couldn’t really comprehend what was happening in the world around her. His heart twisted in his chest. She’d walked into the city. She’d found out about this on her own.
There were tear trails down her cheeks, glinting in the morning sun. He ignored the advisors in his ears and knelt next to her chair, staring at the computer screen in front of her.
‘I’m sorry, Ruby. I should have prepared you for this.’
Her eyes widened in clear disbelief. ‘You can prepare people for this? For these lies? This complete invasion of privacy?’ She shook her head. ‘They phoned me. Someone phoned me this morning, wanting an interview—’
‘What did you say?’ butted in Rufus.
Alex held up his hand to silence him.
She was still shaking her head. ‘I hung up. How did they get my number?’
Alex took a deep breath. ‘It’s not hard, Ruby. They do things like this all the time. You get used to it.’
‘You get used to this? How?’
He reached out and took her hand. It was icy cold and that shot a little fear into his heart. He could see the hopes and dreams for the way all this should go begin to crumble all around him.
It was her face. The expression on her face. She was devastated. Beyond devastated. And he was the one who’d exposed her to this.
She pulled her hand backwards. ‘What about Annabelle, Alex? How will you keep Annabelle from this? Is this the kind of life she’ll have? Every teenage kiss, every hand-hold, every party plastered across the press?’ She was shaking her head and tears were flowing freely now. ‘How on earth will you keep her safe from all this?’
Safe. The word struck fear inside. Ruby didn’t feel safe. But something else had resonated with him. Even now she was thinking about Annabelle in the future. She was raising the issue of trying to protect his daughter.
‘We have rules in Euronia, Ruby. Photographers are not allowed to take unofficial pictures of any members of the royal family. We’re strict about these things. They know they have to respect our privacy.’
‘Really?’ She spun the laptop around to face him again. ‘So what happened here, then?’
It was one of the photos from the newspapers. A picture from months ago, when he’d first taken her to the café in front of the casino.
‘What happened to respecting your privacy? What happened to respecting my privacy. This was when I first got here—how many more private pictures do they have of me, Alex?’
Her breaths were ragged, the pain on her face sending shards through his heart. This was exactly what he hadn’t wanted to happen. But these last few days his feelings for Ruby had just started to overwhelm him.
She’d been in his mind and his thoughts for ten years. Having her under his palace roof had taken every single element of his self-control. She’d opened his world again—asked him the right questions, made him question his own thoughts and feelings. She’d influenced his relationship with his daughter. It had improved beyond all recognition.
It was almost as if she’d taught him how to be a parent. How to love every part of Annabelle and, more importantly, how to communicate with a little girl who wouldn’t talk to him. Before he’d been confused and felt guilty. Now he took each day as it came. His time devoted to Annabelle was never compromised.
Ruby was still crying, the tears slowly trickling down her cheeks. He reached out and touched her cheek but she flinched.
‘I’m not the person they say I am,’ she whispered. ‘I don’t want people to write things like that about me.’
His heart was breaking for her. ‘Ruby, I’m sorry. I should never have invited you to the ball. I should have waited. We should have waited. If we’d introduced you slowly the press would have been easier. My advisors could have told you how to act, what to say. This is my fault.’ He shook his head, ‘I just didn’t want to wait any longer, Ruby. I wanted you to be part of my world—part of Annabelle’s world.’
Right now he couldn’t care who else was in the room. Right now he was only interested in Ruby. The pain on her face was tearing him apart. More than anything he wanted her to look at him and tell him that was what she wanted too. To be part of his world. But even though she was looking at him it was as if she’d switched off.
She shook her head. ‘But that’s just it, Alex. I don’t want someone to tell me how to act and what to say.’ She pressed her hand against her chest. ‘What’s wrong with just me—Ruby Wetherspoon?’
He took both her hands in his. ‘Nothing—nothing at all. We can make this better, Ruby. I promise. I can make this better. We can work together. We can find a way to deal with the press. I’ll find the photographer who took those pictures of us and he or she will never be allowed in Euronia again. This isn’t as bad as you think.’
There was a noise behind him. The tiniest clearing of a throat...the squeak of a shoe. Ruby’s eyes darted to the advisors behind him. He winced. He didn’t need to turn around to know what the expressions on their faces must look like. He’d heard them talk incessantly since they’d knocked on his bedroom door this morning.
Their solution was simple: Ruby must go. The good name of Euronia must be protected and if the Prince Regent wanted to date then it must be handled by the press team.
He hated this. He hated all of this. For the first time in his life he wished he was free of all this. Free of the responsibility. Free of the ties. He wanted to be free to love the woman he’d loved for the last ten years. He wanted to be free to tell the world that. He didn’t need to ask their permission.
‘Ruby, talk to me. Tell me what you’re thinking. Whatever it is you’re worried about—we can fix it. We can make this work. You and I can be together. I love you, Ruby. I’m not going to lose you twice.’
She sucked in a deep breath. It was the first time he’d told her how he really felt about her. But this wasn’t the way he’d wanted to do that. Telling someone you loved them should be for sunsets and fireworks—not bright libraries, with three other people listening to every word.
Ruby pushed herself up from the chair and walked over to the window, looking out over the gardens. It was almost as if she hadn’t heard his words.
‘I need to go, Alex. I need to get away from all this. I can’t think straight.’ She reached out and touched one of the ornate curtains at the window. ‘I need to get away from here. This isn’t my place. This isn’t my home.’ She spun around to face him. ‘I need to get away from you, Alex.’
It was like a wave of cold water washing over him. She hadn’t reacted to his words. She hadn’t even acknowledged that he’d said he loved her.
Doubts flooded through him. Maybe he’d been wrong all along. Maybe she didn’t feel the same way as he did. Maybe this was her way of letting him down gently.
He felt his professional face fall into place—his Prince Regent face—the one he’d never had to use around Ruby.
‘Where will you go?’ He couldn’t help it, his words were stumbling.
This time her eyes seemed more focused. ‘I’d always planned on visiting my mum and dad at Christmas. I’ll go now. They’re in France. I can get there in a few hours.’
Her shoulders straightened. He watched her suck in another deep breath and look his advisors square in the eyes. She was determined. It was almost as if now she’d made a decision nothing would get in her way. She started to walk forward.
He tried to be rational. He tried to think logically. ‘I’ll arrange for the jet to take you.’
She gave him the briefest nod and walked straight out of the door. Not a single hesitation or backward glance.
His advisors all started talking at once. But Alex couldn’t hear them. All he could focus on was the stillness of Ruby’s skirts as she walked along the corridor. The spark and joy he’d felt around her last night had vanished. Even the sway in her steps had been curtailed.
His Princess Ruby was vanishing before his eyes.
* * *
She couldn’t breathe. An elephant was currently sitting on her chest, squeezing every single breath from her lungs.
Her legs burned as she climbed the stairs and strode along the corridor to her room.
Alex had told her that he loved her.
Alex had told her that he loved her.
Her heart should be singing. Instead it felt as if it had been broken in two.
All those conversations. All those questions about whether she was sure, whether she was ready.
The cold, hard truth was that she wasn’t. Right now she doubted she ever would be. Waking up to see people she didn’t know telling lies about her, people the world over reading and believing those lies, was like being dunked in an icy-cold bath.
Was this what her life would become?
She opened the cupboard and pulled out her suitcase, leaving it open on the bed. She started yanking clothes from their hangers, not bothering to fold anything.
Then she stopped, her fingers coming into contact with some of the more delicate fabrics. Some of the more beautiful designs.
Were these clothes even hers?
Should she even take them?
Confused, she walked into the bathroom and emptied the area around the sink with one sweep of her hand into her toiletries bag.
There was a movement to the side of her eye. She sighed. Alex. She needed some space.
Except it wasn’t Alex. It was Annabelle, her eyes wide as she looked at the disarray in the room.
Ruby was shocked. She dropped to her knees and put her hands on Annabelle’s shoulders. The little girl’s bottom lip was trembling.
‘Oh, honey,’ she said. ‘I’m sorry. But I need to go away for a little while. I need to leave.’
Annabelle shook her head. Her mouth opened and she scowled fiercely.
‘No.’
It was one word. It was a tiny word—fuelled by emotion. But it was the biggest step in the world.
She flung her arms around the little girl. She hadn’t thought it was possible for her heart to break any more. But she hadn’t counted on this.
She cradled the blonde curls in her fingers and whispered in Annabelle’s ear. ‘I love you, honey. And I’m so proud of you for saying that word. You are such a clever little girl.’ She pulled back and held Annabelle’s face in her hands. ‘That’s the best word I’ve ever heard.’
‘No.’
Annabelle said it again, and pointed to the case. There was another movement to the side. This time it was Alex. His face was pale.
‘Ruby?’
She nodded. ‘Yes. She spoke to me.’
She kissed Annabelle on the forehead, then lifted her and handed her to Alex as she continued to pack her case.
Alex was the parent here—not her. It was his job to be by his daughter’s side. She doubted she could ever fulfil her professional role again. Loving both Alex and Annabelle had wrecked her perspective. Becoming emotionally attached would make leaving harder for them all. She had to draw a line in the sand.
Alex’s face was racked with confusion. ‘And you’re still going to go?’
She nodded. She had to.
Everything was too much right now. She didn’t just love Alex. She loved his little girl too. If she didn’t leave now she didn’t know how her heart could ever recover.
She jammed the last thing into the case and closed it. Picking it up, she turned to face him.
He was clutching his daughter and shaking his head. ‘How can you? How can you go now?’
‘Because I have to. Because this is the right thing to do.’ She stepped up close to him. ‘Because if I stay this will only get worse. You think I didn’t see the panic on your advisors’ faces? You think I don’t know that every single action you take could affect the people in this country—your trade agreements, your business? I’m not so stupid as to want to destroy the country that you’ve built. I’m not that stupid and I’m not that selfish.’
‘But what about us?’ He glanced down towards Annabelle, who had cuddled into his chest. ‘How can you leave us now?’ He was getting angry. He was getting frustrated. ‘Don’t you have a heart?’
She flinched. But it was exactly what she’d needed to hear. It made it so much easier.
‘I left my heart in Paris ten years ago, Alex. You should know.’
And she held up her head and walked out of the room before her shaking legs could stop her.
